Articles & Audio

You Have What It Takes

Lessons from a 50+ woman 

Most of my life I was told that I could NOT to something. I was too old, too fat, too ugly, too inexperienced or too something else. I was told that I WAS not enough or didn’t HAVE enough.

When I started as an instructor in mid-1990s, the odds were stacked against me. According to the experts, I would not make it. But in 13 months, I not only won awards but I was in the paper doing what I knew to do. I didn’t look for conventional places to teach. I want to churches, hair salons, cancer support groups and community centers. I committed myself to be the best and to do my best. I infused church music, personal motivation, inspirational tips, a bit of a sermon with some aerobic moves. I didn’t try to mimic anybody. I was me. I yelled, danced, prayed, preached and packed the classes.

After a few years, people started noticing my talent and my success grew. Thanks to the additional visibility, I not only taught, but I built a very successful personal training business, Fitness F’ness. I became an aerobic director of 2 gyms, a trainer to other instructors and was a highly sought-after guest instructor at other gyms. I was hired by corporations and traveled the Caribbean teaching health and fitness.

I was committed to my call. So, I worked a full-time job, accepted several promotions in corporate America while being a single mom. At the same time, I built my business, started my coaching business (didn’t call it coaching back then) and supported underserved communities. My son traveled with me and I decided how to parent him so that it worked for us.

I took a lot of flack. People wanted to condemn me for teaching. The self-appointed experts hated my music even though nobody was serving our communities. People said that the way I taught was “too black”. I heard it all. It hurt my feelings but it DID not hurt my resolve. I was going to do it my way to serve people who “got me”.

What am I saying??? You are talented! You know your gifts. Look for places that need you and serve there. You don’t have to do something like anybody else.Just be you and create a life that works for YOU and your loved ones.

I am older now and I now have some health issues so over the years I had to re-invent myself. But I know that what God gave me and what God gave you is only for you and me. You and me, WE,  have the goods, gifts and the guts to SOAR!

I am not the same size in body but my heart is bigger. But I know that health and happiness require a holistic approach to life and I plan to offer that to the world.I plan to package a message that challenges the mind, strengthens the body and soothes the soul.

Be Encouraged! SOAR being you!! You are amazing and the best is yet to come!

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher!

SharRon

If I can support you as you SOAR Higher in your personal and professional life, please contact me at info@SharRonJamison.com.

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Is talent enough?

 “Just because a person is qualified for a job, does not mean that he/she is the best person for the job”.

 As a new college graduate, you can imagine how a comment like that made me feel.  For years, I have been told, but really warned, to develop my business acumen so that I could compete in corporate America. I had spent years honing my analytical skills and refining my marketing prowess. I attended every available workshop that promised to develop and mentor women to thrive in corporate America. I competed for the best mentors to develop me, I worked through my social awkwardness to dine with the movers and shakers, and I learned how to dress to exude confidence.  I was ready for success, poised for opportunities and committed to shattering glass ceilings.

But after thirty years in corporate America, I have realized that talent is NEVER enough. Even having the right connections in corner offices no longer ensures upper mobility. Being a rainmaker, of course, helps you get noticed; contributing to the bottom-line and increasing profitability always gets attention. But despite good results and increased revenue, I have learned that personal integrity matters. And the lack of personal integrity hurts organizations in ways that often goes unnoticed or maybe just unacknowledged.

Integrity, the big “I” word, is often discussed in corporate circles. It is often touted as a virtue that is needed and required for success especially in the global marketplace. Everywhere we look we see articles and books promoting the importance of good character, trust, and authenticity. There is so much talk about the need for integrity that one would believe that good character is rewarded and revered more that job performance or results.  We know that’s not true. Performace counts even if the process and policies that generated the results are questionable.

 I still believe that competence is critically important especially as the way and the speed of doing business continues to evolve. Business is happening faster than ever before. Deals are being made differently and the structures of contracts are growing more complex as the world becomes more connected and accessible to emerging markets. Life in the business world is being revolutionized.

But because of the complexity, I believe that character is something that must be and expected, not just espoused. Integrity should be something that’s not just promoted but practiced so that clients, customers, and employees can operate in the space and in the spirit of trust. As technology redefines how we do business and opens international borders, integrity must become the norm.

No, it is not enough just to perform well on your job. To me what’s important is knowing that you are doing business with people who are committed to fairness, excellence and continuous improvement. It is critical to know that cutting corners is never allowed even when there’s immense pressure to exceed revenue projections.

 Let’s be honest. Even through integrity is the buzz word of the day, there are many people who continue to engage in questionable activities and serpentine practices to succeed. Laws are not broken and their behavior, even though questionable, is not illegal. Yet there is still reason to be concerned when people tiptoe on the margins of ethics as if they are walking on a tightrope. And shouldn’t we be concerned when corporations overlook indiscretions to appease stockholders?  Aren’t the deleterious effects on employee morale, customer trust and client retention important?

After 30 years in corporate America, I now understand what my mentor meant. Being competent means nothing without character. Being talented means nothing without trust. Being intelligent means little without integrity. Yes, being qualified for a job does not mean that you are the right person for the job.

Being the right person for the job means that you are competent AND  interested and committed to doing what’s right.

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher As We Lead!

SharRon

** Do you have the Free Dare To Soar Higher Coaching Guide, if not, sign up here and it will be delivered to your email address. www.SharRonJamison.com

 

 

 

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SOAR In The Summer !

IT’S TIME TO SOAR!

It Is Time for YOU to LIVE A LIFE that SUPPORTS You, ENERGIZES You and HONORS who you really are!

It is YOUR TIME So Join ME FOR 4 WEEKS!

If you are tired of:

  • Attracting relationships that deplete and distract you
  • Putting yourself, your goals and your needs last
  • Feeling stuck or feeling as if you are living your life in limbo or living a lie
  • Feeling like a public success but a private failure
  • Feeling like you must deny your emotional and spiritual needs to make others happy
  • Feeling like managing the stories of your past is robbing you of your future

If you tired of being tired, Please JOIN ME. I know what it feels like to be tired. And, I know our 4 weeks together will change your life.

Soar in the Summer!

This 4-week on-line program includes live training with me, journaling exercises to help you capture your thoughts,  and the support of a community. An additional Q/A session will be available following the 4-week period to make sure that your questions are answered

Here are the highlights

· Combined 5-week webinar (late June 24)

· Worksheets

· Soar in the Summer FB Group Support

· Accountability

· 30 day and 90-day check-in online meeting for support post-program

Cost:

https://tinyurl.com/VirtualTea1 – $ 97 for 1 person

https://tinyurl.com/VirtualTea2 = $147 for 2 (Value – $ 495 – $1500)

***The is the lowest price that I have offered in 2 years. Only offering these prices for this session only.

 

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It Is Time To MOVE!!

     The only constant in life is change! Even when we don’t perceive changes or recognize changes, changes are happening all around us and in us. Change is inevitable.

To effectively and successfully navigate change, we must MOVE; we must act! Because not acting, results in serious consequences…. serious consequences for ourselves, our loved ones and our life.

 What consequences?

Here are a few consequences. If we don’t change:

We will jeopardize our dreams, goals, and advancement.

We will abort our personal and professional missions.

We will forfeit our momentum and impede our growth.

We will become stale, stunted and stagnant.

We will lose healthy and helpful relationships.

We will continue harmful habits.

We will miss trends, signs, clues, warnings and shifts.

The bottom line is: we will LOSE, and we lose what we value most.

So how do you M.O.V.E? I am glad that you asked.

There are a variety of ways to move.

MOVE UP: To navigate change, we must become more conscious of our surroundings, ourselves and souls. We must be able to sense and assess shifts in the atmosphere, the environment and in our own hearts.

Then we must increase our courage to try new things, explore viable options and open our hearts to new possibilities. We must increase our courage to STAND up for ourselves and others even if it means that we must stand alone.

We will also need to increase our commitment to ourselves and to our endeavors so that we don’t get sidetracked by the “THE MIDDLE”, the challenging space between where we are and where we want to be. We must MOVE UP!

MOVE IN: To navigate changes, we need to move in circles that nurture us.  We must find people or environments that provide motivation, information, inspiration, and exhortation. We must find organizations and places that stretch us and provoke us to be great, excellent and balanced. We must move in to places that promote progress, personal power and personal responsibility. We must MOVE IN!

MOVE AWAY: We must move away from haters, naysayers, dream slayers and scandalous players. And haters are not just people. Some of the more biggest naysayers are organizations that demonize, villainize, ostracize and marginalize people. Some of the biggest dream slayers are government policies and gatekeepers who ensure that only certain people have rights, access, and privileges to resources and support. Some of the most corrupt players are businesses that exploit people for profitability, gamble with pensions for profit, contaminate the environment for cash and exchange peace for power.

We must move away from myopia and pre-packaged ideas because change demands that we be creative, curious and contemplative, not critical. Change is a time to remove limitations, renew our minds and venture out of our sacred, safe silos. Don’t forget… change is not just about you or me; change is about WE! We must MOVE AWAY!

   MOVE AROUND: During change, we must move around people who are productive and purposeful. We must find people who have transformed their pain into power. We must find people who are committed to being held accountable and are willing to hold others accountable to do more, be more and say more. We must move around people who understand that being alive means that we must be aware and awake to anything that threatens the health, wealth, and safety of ALL people. We must MOVE AROUND!

MOVE DOWN: During change, we must move down from our high horses of superiority, self-aggrandizement, and self-sufficiency because change requires the skills, insights, and participation of all people. We must move down from our practices and policies of excess and waste that portend to poison and pillage our environment. We must move down from anything that fails to honor and protect the dignity, decency, and divinity of all people. We must MOVE DOWN!

MOVE OVER: During change, we must move over our pain, our past and our own narrow-minded perspectives to be more inclusive. We need to be more inclusive of people,  more inclusive of ideas, more inclusive of challenges and more inclusive of strategies. During change, we must be open – open headed, open-hearted and open-handed – so that we don’t limit our options, disregard opportunities and overestimate obstacles.We must MOVE OVER!

It is time to move….

Are you ready MOVE?

I hope this FB live gives you something to think about. Yes, I admit. I was somewhat preachy, but if preachy doesn’t work for you, just remember that I am passionate. I am passionate about people living amazing lives! I am passionate about helping people Soar Higher! I am passionate about you and I am passionate about me.

If you are ready to M.O.V.E., why not join me for Soar in the Summer. It is a 4-week online program that I know will help you M.O.V.E. more courageously and purposefully in your life.

And, don’t forget to join the Dare To Soar Higher Facebook Group and lend your voice to help people SOAR Higher in every aspect of their lives.

Please join us: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1568728056705351/

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher!

SharRon

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PAST – Plague or Preparation

 It is so easy to get stuck in our stories. It is something about focusing on our problems, pains, and pitfalls that make us forget about our purpose, our power, and our own peace.  But what if we look at our past as a training ground, launching pad or an initiation ceremony? Instead of focusing on our wounds, what if we celebrated our wins?  Instead of complaining, what if we corrected what’s broken, created what doesn’t exist and cultivated what’s available? What if?

Not saying that our past is not painful; some of us have experienced horrendous events. But what if we decided to look back on our experiences through the lenses of love, through the filters of favor or through the eyes of expectation? What if we look above, beyond and around our pain to see glory, greatness, and gratitude? What if we decided to deal with ourselves in a way that propelled us forward and upward?

In my late twenties, I didn’t handle my past well and I got stuck. Even though I had dreams of being an author, I allowed my past to haunt and hinder me. I brought feelings of insecurity, inferiority, and invisibility to every experience, and I clung to my stories of “less than” and “not good enough” as if they were the unadulterated truth. I clung so hard and for so long to those toxic thoughts that I lost opportunities, ruined relationships, lost momentum, and jeopardized my health.

Thankfully, in my early 40s, I woke up; I had a few “aha” moments. I realized that my past provided wisdom, real gems, that helped me navigate successfully in the world. I acknowledged how my past positioned and equipped me to serve humanity in significant and profound ways.  I stopped lamenting about my losses, and I started leveraging the lessons. I applied the insight that I gained to design a fulfilling life for me, and now I also support others.

No, it was not easy and my journey continues.  However, I know that I won’t “arrive” because when you are committed to growth, you never really arrive. For growth-minded, high performing people, growth is a lifestyle, not a destination.

Over the last 2 decades, I have learned an important lesson. I have learned that our past can either plague us or prepare us. But the greatest gift is that WE, you and me, get to choose(from the upcoming book, Deciding to Soar 2).

I look forward to sharing more on the Dare to Soar Higher Coaching Guide Virtual Teal. Hope to see you on May 20th.  Register here

Also, if you are stuck in your stories or plagued by your past, I would love to support you. You can schedule an appointment or just send me a message at SharRon@SharRonJamison.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Let’s dare to soar higher together!

SharRon, The Life Strategist

Order your copy of “Deciding to Soar” for only $15/$20 and get a free gift. Get your autographed copy here: https://tinyurl.com/DecidingtoSoar-Soft or Hard-cover – https://tinyurl.com/DecidingtoSoar-Hard

 

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Leaders Need To Share!

Being a leader is a privilege, not a position.

Having influence and being able to “speak” into, guide, impact and shape a person’s life is an honor. Such an honor, that I am humbled every time I am given access to a person’s heart, mind, soul or career. And trust me, it is “ACCESS” because people don’t have to let you into their heart or head space. They can fulfill their job requirements without being open, loyal and willing to hear you. They can perform physically, but not participate emotionally or spiritually. We all know that’s true.

If you are blessed to have influence in a person’s life, I have a few SOAR suggestions that you may want to consider so that you lead in a way that fosters trust, respect, commitment, and joy.

Soar Suggestions

If you won’t share the light, people will not share the heat.

If you won’t share the power, profits or the prestige, DO NOT expect people to share the PRESSURE!!!

If you won’t share the plan, don’t expect people to give their full participation.

If you won’t share the goods and the glory, don’t expect people to share their grit and their genius.

If you won’t share the bounty, don’t expect people to share their best.

If you won’t share the fruit, don’t expect people to share or care about your failure.

If you won’t share the truth, don’t expect people to give you their time.

If you won’t share the celebration, don’t expect people to give you their commitment.

If you won’t share justice, don’t expect people to work with joy.

If you won’t share transparency, don’t expect people to give you their trust.

If you don’t share your vision, don’t expect people to share your value.

If you don’t share responsibility, don’t expect people to take risks.

If you don’t provide development, don’t expect people to show desire.

If you don’t welcome diversity, don’t expect people not to be divided.

If you don’t give private reprimands, don’t expect people to take public risks.

If you don’t give ample opportunity, don’t expect people to take on added obligations.

If you don’t give acknowledgment, acceptance, and affirmation, don’t expect people to be available.

If you don’t give clear direction, don’t  expect people to seek development.

If you don’t share the wisdom, don’t expect to give their will or their good work.

GIVE TO GAIN!!

YOU WANT PEOPLE TO CARE? SHARE!!!!!

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher as we Lead!

SharRon

**If you don’t have my FREE Dare to Soar Higher Coaching, please visit my website.http://sharronjamison.com/

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I Failed Too. Connecting UP!

  Am I the only one who has ever failed? Of course not! 

People don’t always want to share their stories of fiascos, faux pas, failures or flops. They often don’t want to share where they stumbled, stopped or self-sabotaged. People want to hide their missteps, mistakes, miscalculations and missed opportunities. They want to shine and give the illusion that everything is always fine.

That’s not my testimony. My testimony is that life is a collection of experiences, events and experiments, some good and some bad. So, I know in my heart that sharing my wins AND wounds are important. I realize that sharing my stars and my scars are key. I understand that people need to see that I have blessings and burdens, triumphs and tragedies, guts and goofs, successes and sorrows, highs and lows, fear and faith, and friends and foes.  People need, want and are helped by seeing and knowing it ALL. People want to understand how we (you and me) made it AND how we missed it.

I choose to share. I share even if it means that I have to cry. I share it all because I refuse to let my low points keep me emotionally low and cause me to act low down. I refuse to be embarrassed, humiliated and judged. I refuse to defend, attack or blame. I accept that I failed and I will fail again. And, I absolutely refuse to project the image that I had it or have it ALL together…. that’s not true.

I have learned that letting people see my struggle, sacrifice and sometimes my sadness lets me connect with people in ways that transform, inform and reform me and them. Sharing it ALL helps and heals me and it helps others who can testify and relate that my experience is their experience too.

Are you sharing your failures? Your story may be the story that saves a life. (from the upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few More Things)

Join me this Tuesday in the Dare to Soar Higher. I will be sharing a mini-seminar entitled the ” Getting UP Stronger”

.https://www.facebook.com/groups/1568728056705351/

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher Together!

Blessings!

SharRon

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Follow The Leader? Lead!

I have learned that “follow the leader” is not just a childhood game played on schoolyard playgrounds. No—sadly, it is also a game and a mindset that some adults continue to play today. Yes, some adults prefer to follow the masses rather than follow their own minds. They prefer to follow traditions rather than follow the truth. Some will prefer just to acquiesce rather than analyze or ask. And some people will prefer to inculcate and imbibe rather than investigate and inquire.

But I have learned that when you follow anything or anyone too closely, and when you follow anything uncritically, you obscure your own vision. You lose your own way; you get lost, and you show up in situations that fail to serve and satisfy you. You also miss possibilities, ignore clues, and overlook pitfalls. You let the goals, concerns, and needs of others eclipse your own. In essence, you play a backup role or relegate yourself to a subordinate role in your own life. Sounds familiar?

So here is a thought. Why follow at all? Why not lead? Why not be a leader in your own life? It is your life, so why take constant direction and advice from those who don’t have any skin in the game? Why take recommendations from people who have never been anywhere or done anything? Why pay homage to people who don’t know you, don’t care about you, and can’t even relate to you? Why listen to people who espouse principles but don’t practice what they preach? Why not lead, guide, and direct yourself? You know yourself better than anyone else does.

I am not advocating going against the grain just for rebellion’s sake. However, your life is not a playground, and you don’t have time to allow yourself to be led astray. Yes, “allow,” because everything you do in life is a choice—your choice, remember?

Never follow someone or something so closely or so blindly that you lose, can’t find, or can’t see your own way. The same good sense that God gave them is the same good sense that God gave you. So use it!

Pray, trust yourself, and then lead! You can depend on you!

( adapted from I Have Learned A Few Things).** Do you have the book? If not you can order here http://sharronjamison.com/books/

And, have you joined the Private FaceBook Dare To Soar Higher? I will start mini-workshops on concepts shared in I Have Learned A Few Things starting next month. You can join now. Click Here

Dare to Soar Higher!
Blessings to you always!

SharRon

Just in case you missed my last facebook live on conflict, please click here.

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Hidden Figures – Lessons For All Of Us!

Hidden Figures

What a movie!! I hate to admit that I had no idea that these three brilliant African-American women worked at NASA in 1961. Even though I have always been an avid reader so much of African American history was and still is not included in the history books. So, unfortunately, I along with other little girls who were encouraged to learn home economics and to leave math and science to the boys never learned about these women who were trailblazers. But, that’s another article.

Now that I know about these brilliant women, I am inspired, encouraged and motivated by their brilliance and fortitude. What makes their accomplishments extraordinary – beyond being rocket scientists, is that these women refused to live or be confined by the social norms of the day. These three women were fighters, warriors, queens and change agents who defied the odds. They didn’t allow social, racial and economic inequality to limit their dreams. They said no to stereotypes and yes to their goals.

Mary Jackson was a winner. She reaffirmed my commitment to invest in my own education. Let’s review her story.

As an African American female in the early ‘60’s, Mary Jackson was initially denied entry into the NASA engineering program. However, she didn’t allow being rejected to the program stop her from pursuing her dream.

She persisted. She went to court to get permission to attend night classes to obtain her engineering degree. She was determined. Ms. Jackson did not let anything stop her from acquiring the knowledge she needed to excel in her chosen profession. She was a leader, an orchestrator and a mover-and-shaker in her own life.

She owned her dream. She took responsibility for her dream. She sacrificed for her dream.

She didn’t blame the system or an unfair society. She didn’t let sexism stop her. She didn’t let being the only black person in the class discourage her. She didn’t let being a mother limit her. She moved forward and completed her education. She refused to listen to the naysayers. She forged ahead and eventually became the first African-American female engineer for NASA.

None of us can really imagine how difficult it was for her. But we can imagine that it was hard, that it took discipline, that she made sacrifices, that it required multi-tasking and that she had to overcome some discouragement. It had to be hard work; being the first of anything is never easy.

Unfortunately, I often witness many people prematurely give up on their dreams. If some people are forced to struggle too long, they leave. If they are forced to sacrifice too much, they stop. If they are forced to toil by themselves, they quit. If they don’t receive applause, acknowledgment or acceptance, they acquiesce. If they don’t have the resources, they abort their missions or they get so intimidated that they fail to launch.

So, what can you do?

When you are feeling like you want to abandon your dreams, think of Ms. Jackson. Reflect on how she demonstrated that knowledge is power.  Remember how she demonstrated that achievement requires gravitas, growth, and guts. Gravitas, Growth, and Guts!! Yes, all three are needed to achieve glory.

So here are the million-dollar questions: what are you currently doing to grow? What are you doing in your life that’s gutsy? What are you doing to ensure that you don’t succumb to mediocrity, misery and mess? What are you doing to ensure that you don’t miss opportunities?

Are you investing in yourself? Are you attending conferences to sharpen your skills? Have you hired a coach or mentor to cultivate your talents? Are you working to refine your gifts? Are you doing something new, different, or out of your norm? Are you being an orchestrator, a commander, or a leader in your own life? Are you being a follower, servant or pawn in someone else’s life?

Let’s soar! Let’s develop ourselves. Yes, reading books is a start. But the best learning happens in community. The best learning happens when there is interaction, exchange and engagement with other people. The best learning happens when you are checked, challenged and sometimes pushed into new horizons.

So, get engaged. Find a coach. Join a group. Develop a mastermind.

You have only tapped the surface of your true potential. You have more greatness in you. You have more creativity in you. You have more love in you. And, you have more old pain to get out of you.

Make a commitment to grow because you have a job to do and you have a God to glorify.

Dare to Soar Higher!

 

 

 

 

 

Blessings to you always!

SharRon

P.S. Women are leading the way….Have you registered for the “Leading with Brilliance, Boldness and Beauty Leadership Boutique? You don’t want to miss getting proven leadership tips from women who are leading the way.

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Love Lifted Me – Part 3

It’s February! Not only is it Black History Month, it is the month of love.  And since it is the month of love, it is time to continue our series about the lifting power of love. Yes, love can lift -elevate, excite, empower and encourage you if the love contains the right elements.


Let’s Review.

 

We started the series by saying that love L.I.F.T.S. when love is liberating, and not limiting.  We said that when love is liberating, it allows people to express, explore and experience all the facets of their personalities and their personhood.

Yes, that’s right! Liberating love provides greater freedom, more fun, and deeper emotional fulfillment when people can create relationships norms that work for them. And any time we are creating and not controlling relationships, there is the endless possibility, potential and promise of abundance, however, we define it.

During our second installment of the series, we talked about the need for love to be illuminating and not intimidating. I know, illumination is not a sexy word, but it is an appropriate word when considering love. Why? Because love, true love, provides an environment for learning. It creates space for people to learn about themselves in meaningful ways. It lets people learn who they really are and who they are not so that they can live more authentically, fearlessly and consistently without the fear of abandonment, ridicule, and rejection. And in the safety of acceptance, people grow, relationships flourish and our communities heal. Good stuff, right?

That leads us to the “F” in L.I.F.T.  Love can L.I.F.T. if the love is grounded in Faith and not Fault-finding. That’s a hard one. It is hard because people, I am sad to say, are usually GOOD at fault-finding. Some couples and friends are unfortunately good at giving each other criticism, rebukes, attacks, and unsolicited advice. Some friends and partners give so much negative feedback that I sometimes wonder, “why are you together” or “why are you friends?”.

But this what I know for sure. People who easily find fault in others are usually dissatisfied with their own lives; they are not happy campers. Or, people who are fault-finders are threatened by concepts or circumstances that they don’t understand or can’t control. Often people who complain and criticize incessantly have unresolved issues or don’t know how to express their needs or have not done their own emotional work required for emotional mastery.

Suffice to say, people who routinely find fault in you can be hazardous to your emotional and spiritual health. Their constant attacks, excessive condemnation and negative energy can deplete you and jeopardize your wholeness. And if you stay in the relationship, the constant put-downs will make you question your abilities, or at least, make you question your sanity. Who needs or wants that?

Never forget that you deserve to be cherished, encouraged and supported. If you are not receiving love that makes you feel acknowledged, appreciated and affirmed, you have a personal obligation and a personal mandate to make a different choice…LEAVE!

Now, if you are fault-finder, here are some suggestions that will hopefully help you curb your need to criticize.

 

1) Spend time with yourself. Analyze why you constantly “pick” people apart. Be honest with yourself. Effective analysis is always required to take effective action.

2)  Identify how fault-finding serves and benefits you. Does it give you a false sense of importance? Does it give you power? Does it even up the score? Does it eliminate fear?  Does it make you feel less threatened?

3) Consider the impact on your partner’s or your friend’s emotional and spiritual well-being. How are you slowly dismantling your relationships by your constant attacks or callous critiques?

When you are able to answer some of the questions, you are on your way to making different choices to curtail your fault-finding ways. If you need an extra incentive to do less fault-finding, remember that it generally takes five or more positive comments to cancel every negative comment. So, try your best not to make withdrawals from the emotional bank account, make an investment instead.

Put this advice in your back pocket, your journal or in your soul:  Relationship investments amplify, multiply and satisfy.  But relationship withdrawals worry, wreck and wound.

Here is the bottom line.  We all want to be in relationships with people who believe in us, believe for us and believe in our abilities. We all desire people in our inner circle who trust us, pray for us, celebrate us and cherish us. We all want to be surrounded by people who have faith in us and have faith in themselves. We all want faithful people, people who are FULL of faith. Yes, that’s what we all want and that’s what we really need to be our best selves.

As you are considering your relationships, partnerships, and others “ships” in your life, think about how you are showing up. If you have faith in yourself and in others, great. If you are a fault-finder, determine why you are a fault-finder so that you can change your ways. Changing your ways will change how you experience love, and will hopefully give you an opportunity to experience a love that L.I.F.T.S.

Advice: Always remember that the BIGGEST room in your life is the ROOM for SELF-improvement. That alone should help you keep the focus on YOU and off of THEM.

“Love Lifted me. Love Lifted me. When nothing else could help, LOVE lifted me”. I still enjoy singing the song. After 45 years, the words still resonate in my heart and soul and gives me hope that one day I will experience a love that will L.I.F.T. me.

Let’s love ourselves and let’s love each other so that we can L.I.F.T. each other, our friends, our communities and the world.

 

Blessings!

SharRon

If you have not pre-ordered, please order my new book “Deciding to Soar”. Everyone who pre-orders gets a gift!. For more information, click here http://sharronjamison.com/deciding-to-soar/

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