Articles & Audio

If you “fit in”, you will “fade out”

Most of my life I was called a misfit. Most of the groups that I so desperately wanted to join rejected me, excluded me or ridiculed me. They said that I was weird but what they didn’t realize was that I was not weird, I was severely wounded. I was hurting. Life had beat me in ways that I didn’t have the capacity to understand.

After I healed, I was still rejected, ignored and overlooked. In the eyes of the people I most wanted to accept me, I continued to be a misfit. I was labeled, and nothing would make me worthy enough to be in their cliques, or at least that is how I felt.

But I soon realized that my definition of “misfit” was not the same as their definition. And so, I re-framed the definition to honor me, to support me and to celebrate me.I changed the spelling and embraced the term, and felt powerful.I was not a misfit; I was “mis-fit”.

I accepted that I was a “mis-fit” because I realized that I was attempting to fit into places and with people who could not accept how God made me. I was a “mis-fit” because I realized that I was a circle who people wanted to fit into a square hole. I was a “mis-fit” because I was a person who demanded to live my own life without the permission, validation, or approval of others. I was a “mis-fit” because I refused to follow traditions that trapped me, norms that nullified me or stereotypes that subjugated me.

Gratefully, I accepted that I was a “mis-fit” and realized that if I kept trying to fit in that I would be a clone, an impostor and an actor who faded into their crowd.

Always remember that you are different and that God made you different to make a difference!! Do NOT fit in!  If you fit in you will fade out!

Please stand out! The world needs you to walk in all of your uniqueness so that you can demonstrate the diversity, the creativity and the divinity of a loving God.

Some still consider me a mis-fit but it doesn’t matter anymore. Why? Because I am healthy, wealthy and whole. I am SOARING to new heights as myself, the SharRon that  I LOVE. According to the words of Jill Scott, I am living my life like it’s golden.

I know you are living your life in a way that supports and sustains you too and so I celebrate you! I honor you! I thank you for being you!

If you need support helping you move and navigate more powerfully in your truth, please schedule a complimentary discovery session. I would love to meet with you and support you on your journey.

Please get my free gift.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we live our truth in truth!



***I made a Facebook Live Video about being a “mis-fit”. I hope it encourages you to be who you are!!

Please get my free gift.

If you need support helping you move and navigate more powerfully in your truth, please single a complimentary discovery session. I would love to meet with you.

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Are Your “Ships” Sailing Smoothly?

How are your “ships”? You know…. your relationships, partnerships, mentorships, companionships, friendships, sponsorships, sister ships, leaderships…. your ships?

How are they?

Our “ships” are our greatest resources. They provide support, love, acceptance, critique, collaboration and all the other things and experiences we need to be our best selves. We can never be our best selves by ourselves; we need people and people need us.

Since we need people and people need us, what can we do to help our “ships” sail more successfully?  How can we help our ships sail smoother? What can we do to ensure that our “ships” offer the greatest potential to be helpful, hopeful and healing?

I believe that our best “ships” thrive when we remember 3 important things.

The most important thing to remember is that we MUST express and acknowledge our NEEDS.

Yes, we must acknowledge and express what we need from our “ships”. So often, we don’t share what we need or say what we feel. We expect the other person to know what we need, why we need it, how we need it and when we need it. We act as if people are mind-readers who know and can anticipate our every dream and desire.

But that’s not the case.  People are wonderful beings, but they are not mind-readers. And even if people did their best to anticipate your needs, they still may not get everything right.

Let’s face it. People are different. They have different backgrounds, come from direct cultures, have different experiences and have different understandings of what “ships” mean. Heck, we are not even emotionally hard-wired the same so there is NO way that two people feel, think and believe the same even if they are reared in the same house with the same parents.

And, another thing…. people are busy too. Often, they are managing the demands of their own over-stuffed, fast-paced, and complex lives. They may not have the time or the reserves to be as thoughtful as we need them to be.  In fact, research shows that the world is changing so rapidly that it is sometimes difficult to effectively process and juggle the demands of our lives. If you add a job, young or elder dependents, spouse, self-care and other life basics to manage, it is understandable that something may be missed if not openly and clearly stated.

So, what do we do?

If we want healthy relationships, we must SAY and SHARE what we need even if it is not comfortable to say or comfortable for someone else to hear. 

 As a relationship and corporate coach, I see tons of relationships needlessly destroyed because people don’t say what needs to be said. In fact, most relationships crumble not because of arguments, but because expectations and assumptions are never voiced.

At the end of the day, it is your responsibility to get your needs met. It is your responsibility to be courageous enough to say what you feel. It is your responsibility to tell yourself the truth, and then find a way to share your truth. As my grandmother would say, “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed”.

If you want your “ships” to sail smoothly, TALK! Share! Tell your truth.

Be sure that your needs are communicated in a clear, concise and complete way.

Don’t suffer in silence and don’t ruin a great relationship because you withheld needed remarks.

I will repeat it again. You need people and people need you!

Let’s Dare to Soar higher in our “ships” by expressing our needs.

Stay tuned for part 2 as we explore another ingredient to effective ships.

Celebrating you,


Here are some tips from a FB Live that may be helpful.

I want to see you live. Come meet me in Fort Lauderdale on Aug 12th and in Buffalo on Aug 26th.


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You Have What It Takes

Lessons from a 50+ woman 

Most of my life I was told that I could NOT to something. I was too old, too fat, too ugly, too inexperienced or too something else. I was told that I WAS not enough or didn’t HAVE enough.

When I started as an instructor in mid-1990s, the odds were stacked against me. According to the experts, I would not make it. But in 13 months, I not only won awards but I was in the paper doing what I knew to do. I didn’t look for conventional places to teach. I want to churches, hair salons, cancer support groups and community centers. I committed myself to be the best and to do my best. I infused church music, personal motivation, inspirational tips, a bit of a sermon with some aerobic moves. I didn’t try to mimic anybody. I was me. I yelled, danced, prayed, preached and packed the classes.

After a few years, people started noticing my talent and my success grew. Thanks to the additional visibility, I not only taught, but I built a very successful personal training business, Fitness F’ness. I became an aerobic director of 2 gyms, a trainer to other instructors and was a highly sought-after guest instructor at other gyms. I was hired by corporations and traveled the Caribbean teaching health and fitness.

I was committed to my call. So, I worked a full-time job, accepted several promotions in corporate America while being a single mom. At the same time, I built my business, started my coaching business (didn’t call it coaching back then) and supported underserved communities. My son traveled with me and I decided how to parent him so that it worked for us.

I took a lot of flack. People wanted to condemn me for teaching. The self-appointed experts hated my music even though nobody was serving our communities. People said that the way I taught was “too black”. I heard it all. It hurt my feelings but it DID not hurt my resolve. I was going to do it my way to serve people who “got me”.

What am I saying??? You are talented! You know your gifts. Look for places that need you and serve there. You don’t have to do something like anybody else.Just be you and create a life that works for YOU and your loved ones.

I am older now and I now have some health issues so over the years I had to re-invent myself. But I know that what God gave me and what God gave you is only for you and me. You and me, WE,  have the goods, gifts and the guts to SOAR!

I am not the same size in body but my heart is bigger. But I know that health and happiness require a holistic approach to life and I plan to offer that to the world.I plan to package a message that challenges the mind, strengthens the body and soothes the soul.

Be Encouraged! SOAR being you!! You are amazing and the best is yet to come!

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher!


If I can support you as you SOAR Higher in your personal and professional life, please contact me at

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Is talent enough?

 “Just because a person is qualified for a job, does not mean that he/she is the best person for the job”.

 As a new college graduate, you can imagine how a comment like that made me feel.  For years, I have been told, but really warned, to develop my business acumen so that I could compete in corporate America. I had spent years honing my analytical skills and refining my marketing prowess. I attended every available workshop that promised to develop and mentor women to thrive in corporate America. I competed for the best mentors to develop me, I worked through my social awkwardness to dine with the movers and shakers, and I learned how to dress to exude confidence.  I was ready for success, poised for opportunities and committed to shattering glass ceilings.

But after thirty years in corporate America, I have realized that talent is NEVER enough. Even having the right connections in corner offices no longer ensures upper mobility. Being a rainmaker, of course, helps you get noticed; contributing to the bottom-line and increasing profitability always gets attention. But despite good results and increased revenue, I have learned that personal integrity matters. And the lack of personal integrity hurts organizations in ways that often goes unnoticed or maybe just unacknowledged.

Integrity, the big “I” word, is often discussed in corporate circles. It is often touted as a virtue that is needed and required for success especially in the global marketplace. Everywhere we look we see articles and books promoting the importance of good character, trust, and authenticity. There is so much talk about the need for integrity that one would believe that good character is rewarded and revered more that job performance or results.  We know that’s not true. Performace counts even if the process and policies that generated the results are questionable.

 I still believe that competence is critically important especially as the way and the speed of doing business continues to evolve. Business is happening faster than ever before. Deals are being made differently and the structures of contracts are growing more complex as the world becomes more connected and accessible to emerging markets. Life in the business world is being revolutionized.

But because of the complexity, I believe that character is something that must be and expected, not just espoused. Integrity should be something that’s not just promoted but practiced so that clients, customers, and employees can operate in the space and in the spirit of trust. As technology redefines how we do business and opens international borders, integrity must become the norm.

No, it is not enough just to perform well on your job. To me what’s important is knowing that you are doing business with people who are committed to fairness, excellence and continuous improvement. It is critical to know that cutting corners is never allowed even when there’s immense pressure to exceed revenue projections.

 Let’s be honest. Even through integrity is the buzz word of the day, there are many people who continue to engage in questionable activities and serpentine practices to succeed. Laws are not broken and their behavior, even though questionable, is not illegal. Yet there is still reason to be concerned when people tiptoe on the margins of ethics as if they are walking on a tightrope. And shouldn’t we be concerned when corporations overlook indiscretions to appease stockholders?  Aren’t the deleterious effects on employee morale, customer trust and client retention important?

After 30 years in corporate America, I now understand what my mentor meant. Being competent means nothing without character. Being talented means nothing without trust. Being intelligent means little without integrity. Yes, being qualified for a job does not mean that you are the right person for the job.

Being the right person for the job means that you are competent AND  interested and committed to doing what’s right.

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher As We Lead!


** Do you have the Free Dare To Soar Higher Coaching Guide, if not, sign up here and it will be delivered to your email address.




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SOAR In The Summer !


It Is Time for YOU to LIVE A LIFE that SUPPORTS You, ENERGIZES You and HONORS who you really are!


If you are tired of:

  • Attracting relationships that deplete and distract you
  • Putting yourself, your goals and your needs last
  • Feeling stuck or feeling as if you are living your life in limbo or living a lie
  • Feeling like a public success but a private failure
  • Feeling like you must deny your emotional and spiritual needs to make others happy
  • Feeling like managing the stories of your past is robbing you of your future

If you tired of being tired, Please JOIN ME. I know what it feels like to be tired. And, I know our 4 weeks together will change your life.

Soar in the Summer!

This 4-week on-line program includes live training with me, journaling exercises to help you capture your thoughts,  and the support of a community. An additional Q/A session will be available following the 4-week period to make sure that your questions are answered

Here are the highlights

· Combined 5-week webinar (late June 24)

· Worksheets

· Soar in the Summer FB Group Support

· Accountability

· 30 day and 90-day check-in online meeting for support post-program

Cost: – $ 97 for 1 person = $147 for 2 (Value – $ 495 – $1500)

***The is the lowest price that I have offered in 2 years. Only offering these prices for this session only.


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It Is Time To MOVE!!

     The only constant in life is change! Even when we don’t perceive changes or recognize changes, changes are happening all around us and in us. Change is inevitable.

To effectively and successfully navigate change, we must MOVE; we must act! Because not acting, results in serious consequences…. serious consequences for ourselves, our loved ones and our life.

 What consequences?

Here are a few consequences. If we don’t change:

We will jeopardize our dreams, goals, and advancement.

We will abort our personal and professional missions.

We will forfeit our momentum and impede our growth.

We will become stale, stunted and stagnant.

We will lose healthy and helpful relationships.

We will continue harmful habits.

We will miss trends, signs, clues, warnings and shifts.

The bottom line is: we will LOSE, and we lose what we value most.

So how do you M.O.V.E? I am glad that you asked.

There are a variety of ways to move.

MOVE UP: To navigate change, we must become more conscious of our surroundings, ourselves and souls. We must be able to sense and assess shifts in the atmosphere, the environment and in our own hearts.

Then we must increase our courage to try new things, explore viable options and open our hearts to new possibilities. We must increase our courage to STAND up for ourselves and others even if it means that we must stand alone.

We will also need to increase our commitment to ourselves and to our endeavors so that we don’t get sidetracked by the “THE MIDDLE”, the challenging space between where we are and where we want to be. We must MOVE UP!

MOVE IN: To navigate changes, we need to move in circles that nurture us.  We must find people or environments that provide motivation, information, inspiration, and exhortation. We must find organizations and places that stretch us and provoke us to be great, excellent and balanced. We must move in to places that promote progress, personal power and personal responsibility. We must MOVE IN!

MOVE AWAY: We must move away from haters, naysayers, dream slayers and scandalous players. And haters are not just people. Some of the more biggest naysayers are organizations that demonize, villainize, ostracize and marginalize people. Some of the biggest dream slayers are government policies and gatekeepers who ensure that only certain people have rights, access, and privileges to resources and support. Some of the most corrupt players are businesses that exploit people for profitability, gamble with pensions for profit, contaminate the environment for cash and exchange peace for power.

We must move away from myopia and pre-packaged ideas because change demands that we be creative, curious and contemplative, not critical. Change is a time to remove limitations, renew our minds and venture out of our sacred, safe silos. Don’t forget… change is not just about you or me; change is about WE! We must MOVE AWAY!

   MOVE AROUND: During change, we must move around people who are productive and purposeful. We must find people who have transformed their pain into power. We must find people who are committed to being held accountable and are willing to hold others accountable to do more, be more and say more. We must move around people who understand that being alive means that we must be aware and awake to anything that threatens the health, wealth, and safety of ALL people. We must MOVE AROUND!

MOVE DOWN: During change, we must move down from our high horses of superiority, self-aggrandizement, and self-sufficiency because change requires the skills, insights, and participation of all people. We must move down from our practices and policies of excess and waste that portend to poison and pillage our environment. We must move down from anything that fails to honor and protect the dignity, decency, and divinity of all people. We must MOVE DOWN!

MOVE OVER: During change, we must move over our pain, our past and our own narrow-minded perspectives to be more inclusive. We need to be more inclusive of people,  more inclusive of ideas, more inclusive of challenges and more inclusive of strategies. During change, we must be open – open headed, open-hearted and open-handed – so that we don’t limit our options, disregard opportunities and overestimate obstacles.We must MOVE OVER!

It is time to move….

Are you ready MOVE?

I hope this FB live gives you something to think about. Yes, I admit. I was somewhat preachy, but if preachy doesn’t work for you, just remember that I am passionate. I am passionate about people living amazing lives! I am passionate about helping people Soar Higher! I am passionate about you and I am passionate about me.

If you are ready to M.O.V.E., why not join me for Soar in the Summer. It is a 4-week online program that I know will help you M.O.V.E. more courageously and purposefully in your life.

And, don’t forget to join the Dare To Soar Higher Facebook Group and lend your voice to help people SOAR Higher in every aspect of their lives.

Please join us:

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher!


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PAST – Plague or Preparation

 It is so easy to get stuck in our stories. It is something about focusing on our problems, pains, and pitfalls that make us forget about our purpose, our power, and our own peace.  But what if we look at our past as a training ground, launching pad or an initiation ceremony? Instead of focusing on our wounds, what if we celebrated our wins?  Instead of complaining, what if we corrected what’s broken, created what doesn’t exist and cultivated what’s available? What if?

Not saying that our past is not painful; some of us have experienced horrendous events. But what if we decided to look back on our experiences through the lenses of love, through the filters of favor or through the eyes of expectation? What if we look above, beyond and around our pain to see glory, greatness, and gratitude? What if we decided to deal with ourselves in a way that propelled us forward and upward?

In my late twenties, I didn’t handle my past well and I got stuck. Even though I had dreams of being an author, I allowed my past to haunt and hinder me. I brought feelings of insecurity, inferiority, and invisibility to every experience, and I clung to my stories of “less than” and “not good enough” as if they were the unadulterated truth. I clung so hard and for so long to those toxic thoughts that I lost opportunities, ruined relationships, lost momentum, and jeopardized my health.

Thankfully, in my early 40s, I woke up; I had a few “aha” moments. I realized that my past provided wisdom, real gems, that helped me navigate successfully in the world. I acknowledged how my past positioned and equipped me to serve humanity in significant and profound ways.  I stopped lamenting about my losses, and I started leveraging the lessons. I applied the insight that I gained to design a fulfilling life for me, and now I also support others.

No, it was not easy and my journey continues.  However, I know that I won’t “arrive” because when you are committed to growth, you never really arrive. For growth-minded, high performing people, growth is a lifestyle, not a destination.

Over the last 2 decades, I have learned an important lesson. I have learned that our past can either plague us or prepare us. But the greatest gift is that WE, you and me, get to choose(from the upcoming book, Deciding to Soar 2).

I look forward to sharing more on the Dare to Soar Higher Coaching Guide Virtual Teal. Hope to see you on May 20th.  Register here

Also, if you are stuck in your stories or plagued by your past, I would love to support you. You can schedule an appointment or just send me a message at

I look forward to hearing from you.

Let’s dare to soar higher together!

SharRon, The Life Strategist

Order your copy of “Deciding to Soar” for only $15/$20 and get a free gift. Get your autographed copy here: or Hard-cover –



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Leaders Need To Share!

Being a leader is a privilege, not a position.

Having influence and being able to “speak” into, guide, impact and shape a person’s life is an honor. Such an honor, that I am humbled every time I am given access to a person’s heart, mind, soul or career. And trust me, it is “ACCESS” because people don’t have to let you into their heart or head space. They can fulfill their job requirements without being open, loyal and willing to hear you. They can perform physically, but not participate emotionally or spiritually. We all know that’s true.

If you are blessed to have influence in a person’s life, I have a few SOAR suggestions that you may want to consider so that you lead in a way that fosters trust, respect, commitment, and joy.

Soar Suggestions

If you won’t share the light, people will not share the heat.

If you won’t share the power, profits or the prestige, DO NOT expect people to share the PRESSURE!!!

If you won’t share the plan, don’t expect people to give their full participation.

If you won’t share the goods and the glory, don’t expect people to share their grit and their genius.

If you won’t share the bounty, don’t expect people to share their best.

If you won’t share the fruit, don’t expect people to share or care about your failure.

If you won’t share the truth, don’t expect people to give you their time.

If you won’t share the celebration, don’t expect people to give you their commitment.

If you won’t share justice, don’t expect people to work with joy.

If you won’t share transparency, don’t expect people to give you their trust.

If you don’t share your vision, don’t expect people to share your value.

If you don’t share responsibility, don’t expect people to take risks.

If you don’t provide development, don’t expect people to show desire.

If you don’t welcome diversity, don’t expect people not to be divided.

If you don’t give private reprimands, don’t expect people to take public risks.

If you don’t give ample opportunity, don’t expect people to take on added obligations.

If you don’t give acknowledgment, acceptance, and affirmation, don’t expect people to be available.

If you don’t give clear direction, don’t  expect people to seek development.

If you don’t share the wisdom, don’t expect to give their will or their good work.



Let’s Dare To Soar Higher as we Lead!


**If you don’t have my FREE Dare to Soar Higher Coaching, please visit my website.

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I Failed Too. Connecting UP!

  Am I the only one who has ever failed? Of course not! 

People don’t always want to share their stories of fiascos, faux pas, failures or flops. They often don’t want to share where they stumbled, stopped or self-sabotaged. People want to hide their missteps, mistakes, miscalculations and missed opportunities. They want to shine and give the illusion that everything is always fine.

That’s not my testimony. My testimony is that life is a collection of experiences, events and experiments, some good and some bad. So, I know in my heart that sharing my wins AND wounds are important. I realize that sharing my stars and my scars are key. I understand that people need to see that I have blessings and burdens, triumphs and tragedies, guts and goofs, successes and sorrows, highs and lows, fear and faith, and friends and foes.  People need, want and are helped by seeing and knowing it ALL. People want to understand how we (you and me) made it AND how we missed it.

I choose to share. I share even if it means that I have to cry. I share it all because I refuse to let my low points keep me emotionally low and cause me to act low down. I refuse to be embarrassed, humiliated and judged. I refuse to defend, attack or blame. I accept that I failed and I will fail again. And, I absolutely refuse to project the image that I had it or have it ALL together…. that’s not true.

I have learned that letting people see my struggle, sacrifice and sometimes my sadness lets me connect with people in ways that transform, inform and reform me and them. Sharing it ALL helps and heals me and it helps others who can testify and relate that my experience is their experience too.

Are you sharing your failures? Your story may be the story that saves a life. (from the upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few More Things)

Join me this Tuesday in the Dare to Soar Higher. I will be sharing a mini-seminar entitled the ” Getting UP Stronger”


Let’s Dare to Soar Higher Together!



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Follow The Leader? Lead!

I have learned that “follow the leader” is not just a childhood game played on schoolyard playgrounds. No—sadly, it is also a game and a mindset that some adults continue to play today. Yes, some adults prefer to follow the masses rather than follow their own minds. They prefer to follow traditions rather than follow the truth. Some will prefer just to acquiesce rather than analyze or ask. And some people will prefer to inculcate and imbibe rather than investigate and inquire.

But I have learned that when you follow anything or anyone too closely, and when you follow anything uncritically, you obscure your own vision. You lose your own way; you get lost, and you show up in situations that fail to serve and satisfy you. You also miss possibilities, ignore clues, and overlook pitfalls. You let the goals, concerns, and needs of others eclipse your own. In essence, you play a backup role or relegate yourself to a subordinate role in your own life. Sounds familiar?

So here is a thought. Why follow at all? Why not lead? Why not be a leader in your own life? It is your life, so why take constant direction and advice from those who don’t have any skin in the game? Why take recommendations from people who have never been anywhere or done anything? Why pay homage to people who don’t know you, don’t care about you, and can’t even relate to you? Why listen to people who espouse principles but don’t practice what they preach? Why not lead, guide, and direct yourself? You know yourself better than anyone else does.

I am not advocating going against the grain just for rebellion’s sake. However, your life is not a playground, and you don’t have time to allow yourself to be led astray. Yes, “allow,” because everything you do in life is a choice—your choice, remember?

Never follow someone or something so closely or so blindly that you lose, can’t find, or can’t see your own way. The same good sense that God gave them is the same good sense that God gave you. So use it!

Pray, trust yourself, and then lead! You can depend on you!

( adapted from I Have Learned A Few Things).** Do you have the book? If not you can order here

And, have you joined the Private FaceBook Dare To Soar Higher? I will start mini-workshops on concepts shared in I Have Learned A Few Things starting next month. You can join now. Click Here

Dare to Soar Higher!
Blessings to you always!


Just in case you missed my last facebook live on conflict, please click here.

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