Articles & Audio

Hidden Figures – Lessons For All Of Us!

Hidden Figures

What a movie!! I hate to admit that I had no idea that these three brilliant African-American women worked at NASA in 1961. Even though I have always been an avid reader so much of African American history was and still is not included in the history books. So, unfortunately, I along with other little girls who were encouraged to learn home economics and to leave math and science to the boys never learned about these women who were trailblazers. But, that’s another article.

Now that I know about these brilliant women, I am inspired, encouraged and motivated by their brilliance and fortitude. What makes their accomplishments extraordinary – beyond being rocket scientists, is that these women refused to live or be confined by the social norms of the day. These three women were fighters, warriors, queens and change agents who defied the odds. They didn’t allow social, racial and economic inequality to limit their dreams. They said no to stereotypes and yes to their goals.

Mary Jackson was a winner. She reaffirmed my commitment to invest in my own education. Let’s review her story.

As an African American female in the early ‘60’s, Mary Jackson was initially denied entry into the NASA engineering program. However, she didn’t allow being rejected to the program stop her from pursuing her dream.

She persisted. She went to court to get permission to attend night classes to obtain her engineering degree. She was determined. Ms. Jackson did not let anything stop her from acquiring the knowledge she needed to excel in her chosen profession. She was a leader, an orchestrator and a mover-and-shaker in her own life.

She owned her dream. She took responsibility for her dream. She sacrificed for her dream.

She didn’t blame the system or an unfair society. She didn’t let sexism stop her. She didn’t let being the only black person in the class discourage her. She didn’t let being a mother limit her. She moved forward and completed her education. She refused to listen to the naysayers. She forged ahead and eventually became the first African-American female engineer for NASA.

None of us can really imagine how difficult it was for her. But we can imagine that it was hard, that it took discipline, that she made sacrifices, that it required multi-tasking and that she had to overcome some discouragement. It had to be hard work; being the first of anything is never easy.

Unfortunately, I often witness many people prematurely give up on their dreams. If some people are forced to struggle too long, they leave. If they are forced to sacrifice too much, they stop. If they are forced to toil by themselves, they quit. If they don’t receive applause, acknowledgment or acceptance, they acquiesce. If they don’t have the resources, they abort their missions or they get so intimidated that they fail to launch.

So, what can you do?

When you are feeling like you want to abandon your dreams, think of Ms. Jackson. Reflect on how she demonstrated that knowledge is power.  Remember how she demonstrated that achievement requires gravitas, growth, and guts. Gravitas, Growth, and Guts!! Yes, all three are needed to achieve glory.

So here are the million-dollar questions: what are you currently doing to grow? What are you doing in your life that’s gutsy? What are you doing to ensure that you don’t succumb to mediocrity, misery and mess? What are you doing to ensure that you don’t miss opportunities?

Are you investing in yourself? Are you attending conferences to sharpen your skills? Have you hired a coach or mentor to cultivate your talents? Are you working to refine your gifts? Are you doing something new, different, or out of your norm? Are you being an orchestrator, a commander, or a leader in your own life? Are you being a follower, servant or pawn in someone else’s life?

Let’s soar! Let’s develop ourselves. Yes, reading books is a start. But the best learning happens in community. The best learning happens when there is interaction, exchange and engagement with other people. The best learning happens when you are checked, challenged and sometimes pushed into new horizons.

So, get engaged. Find a coach. Join a group. Develop a mastermind.

You have only tapped the surface of your true potential. You have more greatness in you. You have more creativity in you. You have more love in you. And, you have more old pain to get out of you.

Make a commitment to grow because you have a job to do and you have a God to glorify.

Dare to Soar Higher!






Blessings to you always!


P.S. Women are leading the way….Have you registered for the “Leading with Brilliance, Boldness and Beauty Leadership Boutique? You don’t want to miss getting proven leadership tips from women who are leading the way.

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Love Lifted Me – Part 3

It’s February! Not only is it Black History Month, it is the month of love.  And since it is the month of love, it is time to continue our series about the lifting power of love. Yes, love can lift -elevate, excite, empower and encourage you if the love contains the right elements.

Let’s Review.


We started the series by saying that love L.I.F.T.S. when love is liberating, and not limiting.  We said that when love is liberating, it allows people to express, explore and experience all the facets of their personalities and their personhood.

Yes, that’s right! Liberating love provides greater freedom, more fun, and deeper emotional fulfillment when people can create relationships norms that work for them. And any time we are creating and not controlling relationships, there is the endless possibility, potential and promise of abundance, however, we define it.

During our second installment of the series, we talked about the need for love to be illuminating and not intimidating. I know, illumination is not a sexy word, but it is an appropriate word when considering love. Why? Because love, true love, provides an environment for learning. It creates space for people to learn about themselves in meaningful ways. It lets people learn who they really are and who they are not so that they can live more authentically, fearlessly and consistently without the fear of abandonment, ridicule, and rejection. And in the safety of acceptance, people grow, relationships flourish and our communities heal. Good stuff, right?

That leads us to the “F” in L.I.F.T.  Love can L.I.F.T. if the love is grounded in Faith and not Fault-finding. That’s a hard one. It is hard because people, I am sad to say, are usually GOOD at fault-finding. Some couples and friends are unfortunately good at giving each other criticism, rebukes, attacks, and unsolicited advice. Some friends and partners give so much negative feedback that I sometimes wonder, “why are you together” or “why are you friends?”.

But this what I know for sure. People who easily find fault in others are usually dissatisfied with their own lives; they are not happy campers. Or, people who are fault-finders are threatened by concepts or circumstances that they don’t understand or can’t control. Often people who complain and criticize incessantly have unresolved issues or don’t know how to express their needs or have not done their own emotional work required for emotional mastery.

Suffice to say, people who routinely find fault in you can be hazardous to your emotional and spiritual health. Their constant attacks, excessive condemnation and negative energy can deplete you and jeopardize your wholeness. And if you stay in the relationship, the constant put-downs will make you question your abilities, or at least, make you question your sanity. Who needs or wants that?

Never forget that you deserve to be cherished, encouraged and supported. If you are not receiving love that makes you feel acknowledged, appreciated and affirmed, you have a personal obligation and a personal mandate to make a different choice…LEAVE!

Now, if you are fault-finder, here are some suggestions that will hopefully help you curb your need to criticize.


1) Spend time with yourself. Analyze why you constantly “pick” people apart. Be honest with yourself. Effective analysis is always required to take effective action.

2)  Identify how fault-finding serves and benefits you. Does it give you a false sense of importance? Does it give you power? Does it even up the score? Does it eliminate fear?  Does it make you feel less threatened?

3) Consider the impact on your partner’s or your friend’s emotional and spiritual well-being. How are you slowly dismantling your relationships by your constant attacks or callous critiques?

When you are able to answer some of the questions, you are on your way to making different choices to curtail your fault-finding ways. If you need an extra incentive to do less fault-finding, remember that it generally takes five or more positive comments to cancel every negative comment. So, try your best not to make withdrawals from the emotional bank account, make an investment instead.

Put this advice in your back pocket, your journal or in your soul:  Relationship investments amplify, multiply and satisfy.  But relationship withdrawals worry, wreck and wound.

Here is the bottom line.  We all want to be in relationships with people who believe in us, believe for us and believe in our abilities. We all desire people in our inner circle who trust us, pray for us, celebrate us and cherish us. We all want to be surrounded by people who have faith in us and have faith in themselves. We all want faithful people, people who are FULL of faith. Yes, that’s what we all want and that’s what we really need to be our best selves.

As you are considering your relationships, partnerships, and others “ships” in your life, think about how you are showing up. If you have faith in yourself and in others, great. If you are a fault-finder, determine why you are a fault-finder so that you can change your ways. Changing your ways will change how you experience love, and will hopefully give you an opportunity to experience a love that L.I.F.T.S.

Advice: Always remember that the BIGGEST room in your life is the ROOM for SELF-improvement. That alone should help you keep the focus on YOU and off of THEM.

“Love Lifted me. Love Lifted me. When nothing else could help, LOVE lifted me”. I still enjoy singing the song. After 45 years, the words still resonate in my heart and soul and gives me hope that one day I will experience a love that will L.I.F.T. me.

Let’s love ourselves and let’s love each other so that we can L.I.F.T. each other, our friends, our communities and the world.




If you have not pre-ordered, please order my new book “Deciding to Soar”. Everyone who pre-orders gets a gift!. For more information, click here

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Seeds and Weeds

When I entered the ministry, many people said some pretty mean things about my decision. Honestly, some people talked about me like a dog. They listed my failures, my issues, my mistakes, my divorces and some of my most humiliating secrets that they thought disqualified me from entering the pulpit.

They enumerated every reason that they could think of to convince me that I was out of God’s will, out of my mind or at least, out of my league. Some people even took a trip down memory lane to remind me of my past indiscretions, mishaps, and my non-ministerial-like behavior. I guess they thought I had forgotten about some of the mean things that I had done, said or tried to do. Of course, I had not forgotten at all. I just refused to allow my past to dictate my future.

Here’s what I believe. I believe that we all can still plant seeds and pick weeds at the same time.

I realized early on in my life that God uses faithful people, not perfect people. God uses people who are willing to at least try to make a difference in the world. Yes, God uses people who have issues but also uses people who are willing to take initiative. God uses people who have made messes but who are also willing to turn their messes into messages to help others. God uses people who have embarrassing secrets but who absolutely refuse to allow their secrets to keep them emotionally sick, spiritually small and verbally silent. God uses people who fell down but also uses people who have the commitment, gumption, and tenacity to get back up.

So often in life, we stop doing amazing things because we believe that our own issues  and mistakes prohibit us from being helpful, hopeful and healing to others. No, I am not suggesting that we don’t acknowledge and address our pain or our pathology; healing and resolution should always be goals. But I don’t believe that we should sit “on the sidelines” of life and wait until we are perfect before we serve. (whatever perfect means, because perfection is an illusion)

I want to contribute to society. I want to make a difference. I want to be a change agent, a healer, and a trailblazer. I want to preach, encourage, admonish and teach.  No, I am not perfect but I am open, available and motivated. I don’t know everything but I do know a few things. I  have done some bad things but I am NOT bad. So, I plan to help others because helping others helps me help myself too.I  am going to do what I can, as long as I can, while I can just because I can.

Those people who made the hurtful comments to me are no longer in my life. I decided long ago that being in my life is a privilege and anybody who degrades me, demonizes me or depletes me is always denied continued access to me. I also encourage my clients to do the same. Nobody should volunteer or be subjected to punches to the heart or assaults to the soul.

My wish for you: Don’t let anybody negate, nullify or neutralize your gift, your talent or your dream. Always remember that small minds can NOT appreciate or comprehend big ideas, big goals, and big people. And guess what? You are a big person, with incredible talent and amazing dreams.

So go ahead and let God use you while you keep working on yourself.  Plant positive seeds in the lives of others while you continue to pull the weeds of pain, pathology and dysfunction out of your own life..

If you are interested in working with me and my team to pull out some weeds that are limiting your ability to serve others and to love yourself,  please register for my new online series. A new session starts in February and I would love to see you there. And, I would love for us to help each other “de-weed” our lives.

Don’t forget to sign-up for the FREE Dare To Soar Coaching Guide.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher together!

Blessings to you always!


P.S. My new book will be here in a few weeks. I can’t wait to share.

You can purchase here.


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Fueled or Fooled in 2017?

2017It is a new year!

Some of us have made new goals, some of us have made annual resolutions, some of us have made big promises and some of us have developed major plans.

But whatever we plan to do in 2017, we need energy. We need to get and to stay charged!

So, what charges us?

I believe that we become charged by our words, thoughts and feelings because they all create energy. And that energy affects our psyches,our physiology, and our souls.

Yes, our feelings are powerful and they must be acknowledged and addressed. We must feel our feelings.

emotion-e1374190811197I know “feel our feelings” sounds a bit cliche but it is important. We must analyze, dissect and process our feelings so that we can determine if our feelings are fueling us or fooling us.

What’s the difference between fueling and fooling us?

Fuel comes from a healthy place. “Fuel” is words and thoughts that affirm who we are and motivate us to pursue our purpose. Fuel inspires us, informs us and challenges us in ways that stretch us. Even when we are outside of our comfort zones, fuel reminds us of our power, our ability, and our agency to affect change.

fuelgauge-convertedFuel also intensifies our desire to achieve, dominate and overcome. Fuel provides positive energy even in the face of adversity; it is the antidote for giving up.

“Fool” is words and thoughts that also influence us. However, words or thoughts that fool us don’t encourage us to take helpful or healing action; they influence us to be destructive and self-sabotaging. Fool emotions usually emanate from a place of lack – lack of self-control, lack of self-esteem, lack self-confidence, and lack self-awareness.

“Fools” usually leave us feeling powerless, helpless, defenseless, thoughtless…just less. Fools prevent us from behaving in ways that make us feel proud of ourselves and prevents us from positively connecting with others.

So what to do when we have emotions or thoughts?

When thoughts or feelings surface, get curious, not critical. Do your best to welcome the emotion so that you can discover what’s negatively triggering you or what’s positively igniting you. I always recommend that my clients do background checks on their feelings.

A survey with reserach questions Who, What, Where, When, Why, How and check boxes and marks to symbolize searching for answers to important mysteries Performing “background checks”, BCs, on your feelings, words and thoughts will empower you to adjust your behavior, change your environment or take a closer look at your life. BCs are critical because they help us see connections, patterns, and habits that are often overlooked or underestimated.

So here is my tip: Even though it’s tempting, never avoid or deny your feelings.  It does not support you or serve you to evade or negate emotions that are present in your soul. Anyway, what you deny only multiplies, right?

When strong emotions surface, welcome them. Use them as opportunities to learn more about yourself.  Be patient and ask yourself questions. Be open to what your life is trying to communicate to you.

what-do-you-want If your emotion fuels you, use the energy to pursue your dream. If your emotion “fools” you, find out why.

You need your energy to fly and to fly higher than you have ever flown before. So, listen. Acknowledge. Adjust. Execute. Get and stay charged!  Let 2017 be the year that you DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

It is time to SOAR.

Dare to Soar Higher!


If you missed the last article, don’t worry. Just click here.

P.S. Stay tuned. Deciding to Soar will be released on Jan. 30th.


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Take A Closer Look!

In 5 days, 2016 will be over. I must admit that I am ready for 2016 to end. I am not rushing or wishing time away because life has been good to me. No, everything in 2016 was not perfect. I experienced some health challenges and lost some friendships, but nothing catastrophic happened. I am grateful for that.

But I do realize that 2016 was a very unsettling year for many. 2016 was full of challenges, changes, and tragedy. Our political environment was charged with so much vitriol that our national stability and our personal sanity were threatened. The election process was draining, the revival or the exposure of blatant racism was unsettling, and the growing apathy was alarming.  Even the most spiritual people lost some of their cool.

I am not sure if society will really appreciate the impact of what happened, what didn’t happen or what is still happening for years to come. Sometimes, it takes many years for history to reveal its impact on our psyches, our souls, and our spirits.

But just by looking at the state of our country, I don’t have to wait until history speaks. I see enough, and what I see lets me know that I have work to do. I refuse to be a complainer or whiner without even trying to make a difference. I am not sure what the difference will be but I will forge ahead and find a tribe to work with or lead a movement myself. But, I digress.

new-yearWhat I know for sure is that 2016 is about to be over and we must find a way to bring it to a close. Even though 2016 brought challenges that we didn’t anticipate, not reviewing the year thoroughly could cause us to repeat the past.

So, let’s take a closer look at the year because nothing saps our energy more than fruitless repetition, endless regret, and unexamined regression. Let’s look closely at what happened. Let’s get resolution of the past so that we don’t drag the worst of 2016 into the promise of our future.  Let’s tell the truth so that we can properly position and plan for a better 2017.

Let’s begin:


  • How was 2016 for you? What were your plans, dreams, goals, and desires? – WHAT DID YOU WANT IN 2016?

What plans, dreams, and goals did you achieve? WHAT HAPPENED?

  • What are you most proud of and why? – WHAT DID YOU ACCOMPLISH?
  • Where did you fall short and why? WHY DIDN’T YOU ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU WANTED?
  • What disappointments, setbacks or regrets did you experience in 2016? What happened? How have you processed your disappointment, pain and frustration? WHAT CHALLENGED YOU?
  • What major life changes occurred in 2016? How have you adjusted, processed and positioned yourself for 2017.- WHAT CHANGED IN YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIVES and WHAT DO THE CHANGES MEAN?
  • What major life lessons did you learn? How can you use the wisdom gained to make 2017 better? WHAT DID YOU LEARN?
  • What was missing from your professional and personal lives and why? What are your plans to get what was missing in 2017? WHAT WAS MISSING?
  • What gaps in information, talent or skills were identified that must be addressed in 2017? – WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO TO MAINTAIN YOUR livelihood?
  • what_happened_logo_by_summersoleWhere, when and how do you feel that you were overlooked, were made to feel invisible or made to feel as if you didn’t matter in your personal lives? – HOW WERE YOU HURT AND WHY?
  • What do you want for 2017 and what are willing to do to make it happen? WHAT DO YOU WANT IN/FOR 2017?
  • What have you planned or strategized for your success? – WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO POSITION YOURSELF?

take-a-lookYou have 3-4 more days left to answer those questions. Even if you don’t share your answers with others, why not write the answers down for yourself? You don’t want to bring old thoughts and unacknowledged feelings into a new year.

Let 2017 be a new year, a new beginning and a new opportunity for you to live bolder, braver and better. As my elders always reminded me, “Wash Your Feet” so that you can start anew.

Let’s close out 2016 so that we can start strong in 2017.

Wash your feet! Just a reminder

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher in the new year!



p.s. I have a new book coming out called Deciding to Soar. If you pre-order before Jan 20, you will receive a free 5-day video series entitled Steps To Soar I can’t wait to share it with you.


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Are Your Friends Loyal?

loyaltyAre Your Friends Loyal?  Are the people closest to you faithful to you? Are they devoted to you and what’s important to you? Do they care about YOU and your reputation? Do they really know the meaning of confidentiality?

I have learned that loyalty is one of the attributes I admire most in people. Unfortunately, I didn’t always value loyalty. I sought out people who were ambitious, charismatic and fun. It wasn’t until I had been betrayed a few times that I realized that character was more important than charisma.  And, after one so-called friends, who was really a foe, almost destroyed my business, I realized that “fun” was overrated too. Betrayal convinced me to seek out faithful people, not just fun people because I knew that if I didn’t, I would suffer additional financial ruin. Trust me, I don’t want to experience any more loss, financial or emotional.

So, here’s the big question.

How do you qualify people? How do you determine if a person is loyal?

I don’t have all the answers; no one does. We all are different and we all experience loyalty and disloyalty in a variety of ways. Here is what I do know for sure:  life is the best teacher of the word “loyalty”.  Every painful experience will more clearly define, re-define and refine what loyalty means to us.

However, I want to offer some tips to help you recognize some of the characteristics of loyal people.

I believe that loyalty can be summed up by 4 short words.

The first word is NIGHT!

woman-sadLoyalty is when a person will stay by your side during the darkest times of your life. They will be with you through trials, tribulations, and tragedy. They offer support when you are don’t feel strong, they offer wisdom when you are confused, they offer comfort when you are grieving and they offer encouragement when you feel defeated.

Loyal friends are consistent despite what you are facing in life.  They don’t attempt to exploit your vulnerability or capitalize on your weaknesses. They don’t manipulate or attempt to emotionally “cash in” on your misfortune either. They are by your side during adversity; they don’t back up, back off or step away when you experience illness, pain or hardship. Trust me, loyal people are right by your side sometimes holding you up, pressing you forward, and cheering you on.

two-girls-arguing-back-to-backLoyal people understand that there will sometimes be difficulty in the relationship too; they know that the two of you will sometimes experience interpersonal challenges. They acknowledge that disappointments, compromises, hurt feelings, and disagreements are part of the fabric of your connection. And, they don’t expect uniformity; they prefer unity because they realize that great relationships have and hold space for different opinions. A loyal friend appreciates that you have your own mind, and they don’t expect for you to surrender your beliefs for the sake of the relationship. That’s loyalty!

Quick Tips: Loyal people stick around when times are hard and when the chips are down. Loyal people stick and stay even when they don’t get their way.
 The second word is LIGHT!

powerfulblackwomenLoyal people are there when you are in the limelight. They are there when you are winning, shining and succeeding. They are cheering for you for, celebrating with you and identifying ways to elevate you. They are confident people who have their own dreams, goals, and aspirations and are NOT threatened by your success. In fact, your loyal friends expect you to be successful, they want you to be successful, they will help you be successful and they pray for you to be successful. They are your greatest champions and your closest allies.

TRUTH TIP: Loyal friends are spiritually grounded and emotionally mature people who understand that your celebration and elevation do not equate to their degradation. They are self-aware, self-confident, self-actualized and self-assured grown-ups (yes, loyalty is a grown-up job). They are not spiritually fragile people, emotionally fickle people, socially fake people or financially fraudulent people. They are emotionally, intellectually and spiritually equipped and prepared for greatness – yours and theirs.

Never forget that loyal relationships require developed skills and expansive mindsets to accommodate the vicissitudes of life. A loyal, healthy “ship” should be able to withstand success, seasons, storms and “status changes”. If not, it is the WRONG “ship”. So, do yourself a favor and get off the “ship” and get out of the “ship” as soon as you can so that you don’t get shipwrecked or become sidetracked.

nojealousyThis is what I know for sure: loyal friends are not jealous people; they are not envious because they are so close to you that they understand your journey. And if they feel any tinge of envy, they are willing to admit it to you so that the jealousy can be addressed honestly, compassionately and spiritually. Remember, jealousy is real, but it is an emotion that cannot be tolerated in relationships.

I personally believe that jealousy is a spiritual weapon sent to destroy our most fruitful, productive relationships. I will deal with that subject in another post.

Quick Tip: Loyal people congratulate, cultivate and celebrate; they don’t hate. They shed light; they don’t throw shade. They pray with you; they don’t prey on you.

Light and Night….  2 Keywords to help you identify loyal friends. I will share the final 2 words in the next post so stay tuned.

Thank you so much for reading this article. I always appreciate YOU giving me an opportunity to share.

Blessings to you always and Dare to Soar Higher,

SharRon, The Life Strategist

P.S. I shared some insights about loyalty that you may find helpful – “Threats To Your Soul -Part 2”. Let me know what you think and please share with those who may benefit from the post or video.


Have You registered for “It’s Time To Soar”? I will address information about relationships in the seminar. Don’t miss out. Let’s start the new year strong. Click To Register


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Your Soul…..

Our Souls

soulOur souls are important.  Our souls are where our truth lives. Our souls are where our power lies. Our souls are where our purpose incubates until we are spiritually mature enough to live it, be it and share it. Our souls are where our passions ignite us and fuel us with energy, empathy, enthusiasm, and effort. Our souls are where we listen to God, Our Source.  It is in our SOULS that we experience life fully, fearlessly and faithfully. Our Souls……

Our souls are critically important and incredibly vital. For without them,  we are bodies of flesh, bones, muscles and organs held together by God, and maybe to others, by grace. We are shells – nothing more or nothing less…shells. Without souls, we are empty beings…dead or vulnerable to vultures.

Our souls are essential to our life. So important, that  we must do our best to ensure that our souls stay healthy, holy, harmonious and whole. We must protect our souls even it means leaving people, places, and positions behind. Our souls…

So what threatens our souls? I believe that many threats exist, and the threats that exist are not always identifiable but they are always present. The threats hide in our most vulnerable places and in the most inconspicuous spaces. But if not exposed, they will slowly chip away at our humanity and contaminate our divinity.

courageThe first threat to our Souls is the LACK of courage.

We need courage. Courage helps us honor who we are, and helps us resist and reject who we are not. Courage helps us stand up for what we know is true, even if it means that we are forced to stand alone. Courage gives us the fervor and the strength to speak out, speak up and speak often. Courage!

Courage is critical. Without courage, will not be able to stand in integrity, vulnerability and transparency. Without courage, we will not be  innovators, instigators, and initiators. Without courage, we will never confront our own pathology, our pain, and our biased perspectives. Without courage, we will not confront crazy people, callous policies, and conflicting precepts that disrespect the divinity and dignity of others.

Never forget…where there is a shortage of courage, there will always be a shortage of truth.  Where there is a shortage of courage, there will always be inequality, insolence, and indecency. Where there is a shortage of courage, there will always be limited or no change, choice or challenge. Courage!

We need courage to stand up for ourselves.  And, we need it to stand out from the madness that surrounds us on every side.We all need courage because courage helps us follow our conscious and not the crowd. Courage helps us follow our truth and not tradition. Courage helps us follow what’s prophetic and not what’s only profitable. Courage helps us fight for the helpless, hopeless and homeless. Courage!

The second threat to our SOUL is unquestioned compliance.

compliance-250x250Compliance is not always bad, in fact, compliance is helpful. Compliance with rules, laws, or practices brings order, prevents chaos and helps people live in a way that promotes safety. Side note: That is what compliance is supposed to do, but we fail at that miserably in this country but that’s another post.

Compliance is needed in society. However, when we are so compliant that we follow unjust laws, submit to social paradigms that promote inequality, obey rules that risk our health, or yield to trends at the expense of truth, we invite destruction. We  welcome wickedness in high places and we allow all types of social ills to exist unchecked that poison our environments and taint our very existence.

compliance1When we surrender to the status quo, we fall prey to popularity and we imbibe what the media feeds us.  When we surrender to blind compliance, we downgrade our humanity and we become social puppets – we do what society wants us to do. Or, we become social parrots –  we say what society wants us to say. Or we become social pimps and prostitutes – we exploit and manipulate everything and everybody for our own self-aggrandizement.

Don’t get me wrong. Compliance is necessary. However, compliance without questioning, research or inquiry is dangerous and foolish.  Even our faith needs to be examined to make sure that we are not elevating rules over relationships. (Don’t worry.  It is acceptable to examine our faith. God, Source, can handle our little questions.)

It is acceptable to comply but never comply or follow without understanding. And if we are honest, we can admit that sometimes it is even more honorable and humane NOT to follow principles, policies, and practices to protest laws that fail to honor God and godly ways.

Here is some advice: When you follow anything or anybody, follow from a perspective of a STUDENT, and not a SLAVE.

What’s the difference?  A student follows to acquire knowledge, experience, and wisdom. But a slave follows out of bondage, fear, helplessness, ignorance, and cowardice.

enterpriseOur SOULS…Our SOULS… Our SOULS….

Our SOULS are gifts that we must protect and nurture.

If you missed the Facebook Live post, please listen below.

I look forward to continuing this important discussion in future posts.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing! I always appreciate your time!

Blessings to you always!

sharron-back cover





3 more things….
  • “It’s Time To Soar” starts Jan 7th. I hope you will join me in this important series. You can join me from the comfort of our own home. You can register here. ttp://
  • If you have NOT signed up for my mailing list, please do. I am sending out  questions to help us all SOAR higher in 2017.
  • I was featured in BRAG! I am so grateful  to  Alex Okoroji. Alex is Actress, Writer,TV & Talk Radio Host, Speaker, Author, and Self-Help Mentor from Nigeria….. You can purchase and read Brag by clicking here .BRAG
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Love LIFTed Me – Part 2


We all want it. We don’t care if it is agape love or romantic love, we want to feel cherished, celebrated and respected. We want to feel as if we matter, right?

Last week, I shared how love should be liberating. I shared that love should free us and provide space for us to discover who we are and who we are not. Love should allow space for us to experience our entire essence –  beliefs, goals, talents, skills, abilities, etc. Love should allow space for us to be different, non-traditional and authentic. Love should allow us to struggle,strive, and soar so that we can better connect with ourselves and with our inner power. Even if we fail, love should allow and hold space for us to have a variety of experiences so that we can know, be, do and explore life fully and fearlessly. If what we receive from others is confining, suffocating or stifling, it’s not love; it’s bondage.

Now for the second letter….”I”

The second critical element to ensure that love is is for love to be illuminating and not intimidating.

incandescent_light_bulb_better_than_ledI know that illumination is a not friend-sounding, sexy, charming or romantic word, and it is not a word that would naturally come up in discussions about relationships either.  But illumination and love are connected; they are inextricably linked because you can’t fully love someone  platonically or romantically if you don’t know them. No, without an intense desire to uncover and explore the wonderful layers of your partner/friend’s essence, you can never truly “know” them. The “knowing” and the commitment to consistent knowing without judgment are the keys to a thriving relationship.

If illuminating love is so critical, why don’t more people embrace it?

Illuminating love demands that we engage and commit to doing “self” work, and most people avoid “self” work like the plague until they face a crisis or a crossroad.  In fact, it is not until  relationships are threatened that people even consider doing any type of self-inventory, personal analysis or couple assessment. Unfortunately, people exist in relational slumps for years until the pain encourages them to look deeper at their lives and to look more closely at how they love. It is sad to say but people will stay despite the decay.

So, how do you illuminate your relationship/life so that your relationship stays illuminating? 


1) Listen to your spirit and listen to your partner or your friend. Be open to learning, and remember that learning is progressive and continuous.

2) Ask questions and don’t assume that you know everything there is to know about a person. Assumptions kill BUT questions can heal. Stay curious and interested in who they are and who they are striving to me.

3) Work on intimacy and sharing. Remember that true revelation only happens in the safety of trust and nonjudgement.

4) Encourage yourself and your partner/friend to grow in every area of their life; stagnation equals death.

5) Celebrate their strengths and comment on their growth,grit and goals. Pay attention. Let them feel seen.

6) Support them! Cheer them on. Shed light on their abilities, potential, success and their very essence.

A word of caution…..

support1Even though illumination sheds light, illumination can feel a bit scary to your friend, especially if you have decided to honor and celebrate yourself in ways that are new or unfamiliar. In fact, if your friend may feel threatened by your  changes and choices; she may intentionally and unintentionally sabotage you and manipulate you. He may also make discouraging statements, withdraw his affection, use guilt or a sense of obligation to thwart your desire for advancement.  Some partners even apply undue pressure by issuing ultimatums and issuing decrees to derail plans and dreams.  I have even witnessed some partners bully their less assertive partners into postponing and abandoning their growth and dreams altogether. Yes, it happens.

But remember this….. Anything gained by intimidation ALWAYS results in feelings of resentment, retaliation, and sometimes revenge.  Also keep in mind that intimidation does not prevent or discourage illumination.  In fact, using intimidation actually sheds more light on who you are and who you are not; it reveals who you are at your core. Something to think about right?

questionSo, take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:  Am I a being helpful or hurtful, open or opinionated, controlling or contributing?  Am I asking my partner to shrink or am I creating space for her or him to shine? Am I jealous, threatened, or scared because of her/his choices? Do I feel replaced or displaced?

Your honest answers will help you discern how you are “showing up” in your relationship. And if you don’t like what you see and you are not supporting your partner’s or friend’s growth you can make a different choice. You can make the changes needed to enjoy a love or friendship that LIFTs.

Let your love LIFT! Remember….you have the power to make a difference in someone’s life.

Affirmation: I will make sure people in my presence feel SEEN!

If you have not signed up for my mailing list, please do. I am giving away some great gifts for the holidays.

Dare to Soar Higher and blessings to you always!






P.S.I received a ton of questions about the first article in the series. I made a video to answer some of your questions. If you have more questions, please send me a message at or leave a comment below. I will do my best to answer.

Love Lifted Me – Part 1. Click here if you missed it.Click Here To Read

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