Articles & Audio

What’s Blocking You? (Who Are You Hanging With?) – Part 3

Royalty-free 3d people computer generated clipart picture image of four orange people holding hands while standing on connected blue puzzle pieces, symbolizing teamwork, and interlinking for seo website marketing.Moving forward in our lives is not always easy. Even when we know exactly what we want to do or where we want to go, making our dreams a reality can seem impossible, impractical and just downright irrational. At least, that has been my experience. But success, however you define it, is within your reach if you know what’s blocking you or if you know what has the potential to block you. Do you agree?

In the beginning of the “What’s Blocking You” series, we talked about the importance of knowing who you are and being self-aware.  I personally believe that SELF-AWARENESS is the gateway to true wisdom, true power and true understanding.  Through self-awareness we better appreciate our history, needs, desires, talents and skills which help us create life strategies to enjoy lives of abundance and prosperity. Knowing ourselves also helps us formulate our plans, pursue our goals and execute our tactics based on our temperaments, passions and divine assignments. Never forget that you can only “do you” if you really know who YOU are and WHAT you need. Self-Awareness is vital.

The second step we discussed was taking ACTION. I heard it said many times before that knowing what you want is easy, BUT knowing how to get what you want is hard. Yes, the “HOW” factor is what feels so intimidating and overwhelming that we are tempted to throw in the towel and abandon our dreams.  For most people, the “HOW” is what hinders us, hurts us and halts us.  The “HOW” is what prevents us from sharing our unique gifts with the world.

I am not underestimating the “HOW” conundrum, no not at all.  The “HOW” is indeed a challenge but it doesn’t have to be a roadblock. Here’s the truth: most successful people never know exactly what to do all of the time. On their road to success and significance, many times they only see the next step in front of them, not the entire staircase. But, successful people trust the process. They trust that the next steps will be realized and revealed when needed to ensure their success. Trust me – successful people know that THEY don’t know it all, but they are confident that they know ENOUGH to get started. And, knowing enough IS enough to activate your dreams.

teamSo take inventory of what you know and why you know; initially focus on those two variables.  I am confident that you will discover that you already know a lot, and you will also realize that God has already endowed you with enough wisdom to win. Trust that the seeds ( your gifts and talents) of your harvest (your success) were planted in your spirit before you were born.  The seeds were encoded in your DNA. So let the seeds take root in your spirit. Water the seeds, nurture them and watch them grow.

The third step is to choose the right ASSOCIATES. Here is where things get tricky and here is where we get tested. The research suggests that you and I are the sum total of the 5 people we hang around the most. Interesting right? So let’s be honest. When you survey the people closest to you, are those people growing emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or financially? Do the people that you associate with the most have a commitment to greatness, excellence and prosperity? Do they know their mission, methods, message, meaning and mistakes? Do they travel physically or vicariously to broaden their minds, widen their perspectives or expand their purviews? Do they read and lead or do they wallow and follow?

Hard questions…. yes! But you and your life are too important to be spent with people who invite misery, create mess, choose mediocrity, enjoy complacency and prefer mayhem.  Your time is too valuable to be pulled into drama. You vision is too vital to be limited by stinking thinking. And, you are too victorious to be confined by societal norms.

Choosing associates demands that we make some discerning choices about people, and choices cannot be based on longevity alone. Why? Because just because a person has been in your life for a long time does not mean they should have continued access to you. Having access to you or being in your circle should be based on 4 variables: Vision, Values, Voice and Veracity.  Yes, you knew all of the words were going to start with the same letter. If not, I would not be me. (I discuss the 4 V’s in my “Foundation for Elevation” Seminar.  The seminar is planned for 4th quarter 2015.)
teamwork1For many of us, deciding to reposition people in our lives is sometimes difficult. It is especially difficult for those of us who have felt the sting of rejection ourselves.  I understand; I have been rejected many times and rejection never feels good.

But here are some factors to consider.  Should we let people stay in our lives if they are emotionally needy, financially greedy or downright seedy? Should we allow people in our lives who constantly minimize our dreams, devalue our vision and disrupt our momentum? Should we allow people in our circle who are not loyal to us, secretly covet our lives and speak to us in disparaging ways? Should we feel obligated because we share DNA or a past? These are questions that you, and only you can determine. But here is an adage to consider: Life is like an elevator. Sometimes on your way up, you have to stop and let some people off. Something to pause, ponder and pray about, right?

We all have divine assignments; we all have a purpose. Yes, we all need people; we are hard-wired for connection. But despite our need to be connected and engaged with people, we still must be discerning. We still must do our best to ensure that we choose people to travel with us in life who can help us soar. We also have to be discerning to make sure we choose people whom we can also offer assistance and support to help them soar. Reciprocity and mutuality are important. ( I share more about how to choose the right people for your life in my book, I Have Learned A Few Things and in my workshop called “ The 7 Critical Relationships that Affect Your Life”.)
teamwork2Soaring in life and feeling fulfilled is what I call living in abundance.  In my heart, I believe that living in abundance is really how we ALL desire and deserve to live, don’t you? We all want rewarding, satisfying and thriving personal and professional lives.

So, how do you start the process to live more abundant lives? First, commit to self-awareness – know who you are and what you need. Secondly, take action even if you don’t know or understand all of the factors needed to succeed. Trust that you know enough and trust that when God gives vision, God always gives provision. Thirdly, pick the right associates. People should bless you not break you, promote you not pester you, lift you not lower you, and complement you not compete with you. Your closest associates should help you SOAR, never sink.

I look forward to continuing this series in the coming weeks. But in the in the meantime “What’s Blocking You”? I know in my soul that the answer for me and the answer for you is the same:  absolutely nothing.

Make sure you read the first two articles in the series. I am sure that the articles will provide food for thought.  Please visit my website and contact me in you have questions. I would love to hear from you.

If you are interested in learning more about working with me, please schedule a complimentary 30 minute Discovery Session. I would be honored to serve and support you, your family or your organization.

Dare to Soar Higher!

Blessings!

SharRon

Read more

Blessings At The Bottom – Seeing God

blessings at the bottomHave you ever hit rock bottom? Have you experienced a place or a time in your life when you felt and believed that there was nowhere to go or nothing to do? Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt helpless or that a situation felt hopeless? Have you experienced a time when you exhausted all your resources and explored every option but to no avail? Have you ever experienced a place where you knew that you consumed all your energy, every drop of your creativity, and every piece of your ingenuity but could not make any headway? Have you ever been in a relationship when you loved hard and care much but no love or concern was returned? Have you ever felt overlooked, unappreciated, and abandoned by your loved ones? Have you been there? Have you been or felt as if you were at the bottom?

I have. I have been at the dark place of despair with few options and no ideas. I have been emotionally bruised, financially depleted, socially alienated, and physically compromised. There have been times in my life when I did not know which way to go and I truly believed that I no longer wanted to go; I wanted out of life. I hit the bottom.

But I hhearing Godave learned that my bottom is where I was abundantly blessed. It was at the hardest times of my life that I was able to see God, to hear God, and when my ego didn’t affect my ability to follow God. It was at the bottom where I could cry, yell, question, and beg for mercy without feeling judged or misguided by my own pride. It was at the bottom where I was able to release expectations of what should have been or how I wanted things to be. It was at the bottom where I was able to quiet my despair long enough to hear the voice of my inner wisdom, which I knew was God’s voice. It was at the bottom when I had no one but finally understood that I had to have me and that I had to know God.

I believe that it is at the bottoms of our lives where we learn who we are and what we are made of. It is at those times when the pain is so intense that we are forced to reevaluate our lives, reconsider our purpose, and reexamine our beliefs. It is at that place of sheer desperation that we question our motives, our behavior, our relationships, and our own resilience. Since we have no choice but to look up, we are not ashamed to ask for assistance because we need, but really crave, relief. And so we open up our mouths, open our minds, and open our hearts to receive whatever the universe needs to teach us. We allow ourselves to be guided and spirit-led; we become truly spiritual. We allow ourselves to be shifted and lifted by the Source.

I have alrock bottomso learned that the bottom is the place where healing begins. It is the place when we start to see ourselves differently and, many times, more comprehensively. It is the place where we use our innate talents, gifts, and abilities to create new realities for ourselves, for our families, and for the world. It is a place of power, possibility, and potential where we stretch our wings and test our ability to fly. And since we have experienced rock bottom, failure no longer grips us, indecision no longer delays us, and the need for approval no longer stops us. Since we know the bottom intimately, we have renewed vigor to do what we need to do to live and thrive in a way that honors our very souls.

It is a tough and confusing journey; it is a time of refinement and clarity. And even though we may not fully understand the value of it or even if we can’t recognize the bottom as a gift, at the bottom, we are and will be blessed. We will be blessed by the bottom.

Yes, the bottom is a painful place and a place that we don’t want to frequent regularly. It is a place of extreme brokenness, but it is also a place of great reflection and restoration. It is a low dark place, but it is also the place of enlightenment, encouragement, and elevation. The bottom—the place of blessings!

I can admit it. I have been at the bottom, and I have been blessed! And I have learned that the biggest blessing is a newer, stronger me! And I declare and decree that you will be blessed at the bottom too. Blessings!

SharRon 

Chapter 39 – I Have Learned A Few Things

IHLAFT-standing

Read more

What’s Blocking You? – Part 2

actionHave you ever felt as if you were stuck in a rut? I have. There have been times in my life when I have felt stuck, cemented and confined by people, policies, places and positions.  A few times I felt so emotionally trapped by routines, responsibilities and relationships that I stopped growing, learning, loving and living.  I was emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually sinking, and I was sinking fast.

Thankfully some wonderful coaches and counselors helped me change the trajectory of my life and now almost 25 years later, I have learned a few things.   I have learned that self-reflection is the first step to personal transformation. Yes, I learned that I had to learn more about me. I learned that I had to learn who I was devoid of expectations, fears, traditions, norms and facades. I had to discover who I was outside of what everybody else wanted me to be.   Trust me, that was difficult; it required peeling back layers of my personality that I never knew existed.

For me, self-reflection was a painstaking process because I had to take off the masks and remove my disguises; I could no longer hide. I also had to stop acting, and the funny thing was —  I didn’t know that I was even acting. I thought my beliefs and behavior were self-directed; I soon realized that they were not. I realized that my beliefs and behavior were influenced by whole lot of people who didn’t know me, care about, support me or even like me. Yikes! What a wake-up call!

During my self-discovery journey, I was forced to analyze my history to identify patterns, themes and the orgins of my bad behavior. I had to understand why I  sabotaged my success, happiness, relationships and health. I was forced to evaluate my perspectives and define my truth, and honestly 25 years ago, I didn’t know I even had a truth. Imagine that.

I am not alone; many people are and have been in the same boat. Many people today are struggling or have struggled to understand themselves. Some, like I did, have and continue to struggle to find their purpose, accept their calling or even understand the need for transformation. Most successful people I know have been to THE place, the place of truth that helped them jump-start their journeys of personal transformation.  I call THAT place “Blessings at the Bottom” (Chapter 39 in I Have Learned A Few Things)

Yes, most of us have been to that the scary, unfamiliar and agonizing place that demanded that we become more self-aware.  I am sure that we all can agree that THE place is a challenging place but it is also an exciting place. It is a place of great promise, great purpose, great clarity and of great relief. During THAT place, we were forced to look closer, deeper and broader at the choices that we made or honestly consider the choices that we were failing to make. We removed our defenses and we became emotionally transparent to ourselves; we didn’t hide from our histories, failures, mistakes and secrets.  We became self-aware and as result, we were ready to embark on our new journeys, our journeys of personal transformation.

As we learned in the previous post, self-AWARENESS is the first step toward personal transformation. After you conduct a full life inventory and commit to continuous self-discovery, the second step on the road to personal transformation is ACTION. Yes, ACTION! If you want a different life, you must make changes; you must do something and many times, do a lot of “somethings” differently. As we say in the South, “you just can’t talk about it, you got to be about it”.

But even though we know we must do something, it is the “doing” that scares us the most. It is the “doing” that keeps up stuck, stagnant and stale in our lives. It is the “doing” that seems insurmountable, unfathomable and just down right undoable.  It is the “doing” that reveals our fears, unravels our resolve and makes us abandon our dreams. It is the “doing” that frequently stops us or makes us settle for relationships that are unfulfilling, jobs that are underpaying and lives that are unsatisfying. The “doing”, the failure to take action, is what limits our successes and negates our future.

actionchangesthings

So how do we address the “doing” so that it feels doable? I don’t know all of the answers but I have a few thoughts.

  • Get clear about what you want and who you want to be; determine your compelling WHY. Your WHY will create your vision, and your vision will guide and direct you. For example, when I started my healing journey, my WHY was that I no longer wanted to feel yucky inside. I was tired of feeling small, silent, suffocated and sidetracked. My WHY was not elaborate or deep; it was just honest.  More importantly, at the time that was all I could articulate but it was a great start. What’s your WHY?
  • Identify the resources that you already have and identify what you are already know. When I started my personal transformation, I knew that I had some money and I knew that I needed therapy. I knew that my prolonged feelings of malaise and sadness were not normal. I didn’t know too much more than that but knowing those few things was critical to me moving forward in my life.  So what do you already have and what do you already know?
  • Take a step, make a call, start a class, join a group or find support. I would say read a book but I have learned that reading books in isolation is never enough for sustained growth. Books provide concepts but an activity, practice or coaching provides the application. And to make the changes that you want in your life, you need both concepts and application. Just think about. You can read a book about swimming all day long but until you jump in the pool do you know if you can really swim? The same principle applies when learning new life skills. So, what are you doing to use, practice, apply or implement the knowledge that you are learning?
  • Don’t worry about understanding all the details. You may never know all of the details before you start a business, pursue your dreams or embark on a healing journey. Learn as much as you can and get started. No, don’t be reckless or careless; be calculating, prudent and analytical. But after you obtain as much information as you can, MOVE, DO, GO, BE, and TRY! Take action…..bold action. As you take a few steps toward your goals, more information, resources and support will show up. Trust me…I have been there.
  • Only focus on 3 – 5, preferably only 3, things that you want to improve or change at one time. Some coaches may disagree with me on this. However, from working with all types of clients, I have learned that personal transformation is challenging, and trying to do too much at once often becomes overwhelming. And what do overwhelmed people routinely do? They procrastinate or they QUIT! So, honor yourself. Organize your life and focus on a few things so you don’t fall out, fall down and fall asleep. Trust me, it happens.
  • Remember that success is a process, and sometimes a messy process. This weekend one of my mentors said something that resonated in my spirit. He said that “sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. Wow…as we say in the Christian faith –  that was an on-time word. That phrase freed me! I now feel more creative, more committed and more courageous to pursue my own dreams. That little phrase empowered and embolden me to Soar Higher!

I encourage you to take Action! Never forget that motion motivates, activates and elevates. So get started because today is the first day of the rest of your life. And, don’t forget to get some support on your journey. If you need coaching or assistance, please feel free to call the Jamison Group.  We would love to provide you with support and guidance as you embark on your new life.

Always remember to DARE to SOAR HIGHER because You are ALWAYS worth your best!

(Reprinted from my upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few Things About Success)

Blessings,

SharRon

Read more

What’s Blocking You?

self awareness

Have you ever thought about what’s really blocking you in your life? No, really. Have you thought about why you continue to stay in a joyless, sexless and unfulfilling relationship? Or, why you continue to work an unrewarding, unsatisfying and low-paying job? Or, why you continue to associate with people who have low goals, no goals or no guts? Or, why you participate in organizations that demonize, disappoint or degrade you and others? Or, why you associate with people who are envious of you and secretly covet your life? Have you truly thought about those things?

To be honest, I really did not consider those questions myself until one day I woke up and realized that I was lost. I woke up and found myself confused about my career, puzzled about my purpose, baffled by my relationship, mystified by my faith and confounded by the choices that I was FAILING to make. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that I was not making decisions at all; I was just letting life happen. I was not choosing anything; I was settling for whatever and whomever came in my life. And boy, did I settle. I sold myself short personally and professionally.

But thankfully, I have learned that living and creating a fulfilling life required that I make decisions. Yes, living a satisfying life required me to participate fully in the life process even when I didn’t feel equipped, qualified or confident enough to make informed choices. Even when I didn’t want to or feel up to it, I learned that I had to be the leader, director, and organizer of my life; I had to be the boss of me. Prepared or not, I learned that I had to guide, manage and love myself enough to make decisions that helped me SOAR.

Those decisions are not always easy to make and sometimes the options are less than desirable. But being the boss is not always easy and not making a decision is really a decision too. Something to consider right?

My clients often ask me the same question, “How do I become the boss of me?”  It is a simple question, but simple questions rarely have simple answers. But here is what I offer.

know thyself

I first tell my clients, who I call my teachers, to become AWARE. I encourage them to be become AWARE of what moves them, soothes them, angers them, motivates them, stresses them, relieves them, inspires them, etc.  I advise them to conduct a monthly and sometimes a weekly self-inventory to learn what makes them tick, sick and stick. I encourage them to find out what makes them uncomfortable and then fully explore that discomfort. I hope I inspire them to learn what brings them peace, growth and liberation so that they can “live” in that space for the rest of their lives. Finally, I encourage them to get quiet and still so that they can hear the whispers from their souls because that is where our truth lies.

Becoming aware and staying aware won’t be easy, especially with all of the distractions that vie for our attention and challenge our minds. But I implore you to try. Try to be become more AWARE of the amazing person you already are, and try to stay committed to growing into the more amazing person you hope to be.  Because once you become aware, you will better appreciate who you are, recognize your full potential, discern what’s good and who is good for your spirit, and transform your life into greater abundance.

Awareness is the first step.  I look forwarding to sharing the other 4 steps in the coming weeks. So stay tuned.

I wish you success on your journey to greater AWARENESS. You can do it! I know you can. We are on this journey together.

If you are interested in working with me to gain more self AWARENESS, please contact me.  I am always here to support and serve you!

Blessings to you always and remember to DARE To SOAR HIGHER!

SharRon

 

Read more