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Try Before You Cry

black-girl-cryingI will admit it. When I was a little girl, I gave all types of excuses, reasons, and justifications to stay in my comfort zone.  Yes, me. I lied and cried when adversity or opportunity demanded that I stretch my wings, enlarge my heart and expand my mind. I was not interested in doing anything new, difficult, different or creative. I wanted to stay in my secure silos even if staying meant missing out on the fun, missing a meal or not getting an ice cream cone.  I didn’t want to budge; I was obstinate.

Yes, me.  I would cry, but really sob uncontrollably, if pushed to try anything that required extra effort or too much energy. Due to my painful childhood experiences, I lived in a spirit of defeat. I expected to lose. I anticipated failure. I was convinced that I could not win. So, I always cried; crying was my preemptive strike to encourage adults to excuse me from trying anything that I deemed too hard. Of course, I deemed everything too hard.

But when I was little girl, one of my elders gave me some sage advice. She said, “Baby, don’t cry until you try”.

try1As a child, I thought that advice was foolish. I didn’t feel that crying was something that had to be earned. I wanted to cry so I didn’t have to try. I wanted to cry so people would accommodate me, care for me and expect nothing from me. I wanted my tears to invoke sympathy so that people would let me off the hook. I wanted my sobbing and sniffling to exempt me from hard labor, which for me meant trying anything that exacerbated my already deteriorating self-esteem.

But somewhere along the way, my elder’s advice resonated me and I realized that crying before I tried to do something was crippling me. Crying and getting all worked up only drained my energy and dampen my spirit.  And let’s be honest. The crying really didn’t work. My tears convinced no one to let me settle for mediocrity, ordinary or average. My runny nose and blood-stained eyes didn’t encourage my parents to let me to exist on the sidelines. No way!

stop-making-excusesEventually I gave up my crying strategy and made a promise to myself to actually try something before I conceded defeat.  I abandoned such phrases like:

  • I don’t know how
  • It’s too hard
  • I never done that before
  • It will take too long
  • My friends don’t have to do it
  • Why me
  • I will miss my TV show
  • It’s not fair
  • You are picking on me
  • You hate me
  • People are going to laugh at me
  • I am too fat
  • I am not tall enough
  • I am too tall
  • I am too young
  • I am too old
  • I can’t do it
  • Why do I have to go first
  • People are going to hate me
  • I am not good at stuff like that
  • I may hurt myself
  • I have homework to do

My list was comprehensive and I was creative. I had all types of excuses and rationale to escape doing something new.

Thankfully, I grew up and grew out of that self-sabotaging behavior. I stopped the excuses, and I discovered that I actually loved trying new things. I loved the feeling that I got when I was doing something that I have never done before. It was exhilarating.

97370-Enjoy-LifeTrying new things made me proud of myself and did wonders for my re-emerging self-esteem.  The more I tried new things, the more I wanted to try.  Stepping outside of my comfort zone encouraged me to live fully, love freely and trust deeply. The adage is true: Nothing beats a try.

If you cry before you try or complain before you pursue, I want to encourage you to Try Before You Cry. Maybe you will fail, or find out that you don’t enjoy something. But maybe, just maybe, you will discover new skills, revisit a dormant talent, reclaim your power, reignite an old passion or experience an adventure.

There is nothing wrong with crying; crying is cleansing. But getting all worked up before you even exert any energy, effort or enthusiasm to try something new, does not serve or support you. It actually limits and hinders you. Trust me, I know. My proactive crying strategy did nothing but make me miss out on life –  experiences, opportunities, love and pure joy.

Try Before You Cry! Give yourself a chance! You deserve it!

Blessings to you always!


P.S. If you are ready to be bigger, better and more profitable in your business, register for Activate 2K16.  Lucinda Cross and her team have designed a world-class event to help you upgrade your business and activate your life.I look forward to seeing you there.

Register here because you don’t want to miss this life-changing event. For greater savings, use discount code: SoarHigher.


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Walk Through The Talk

criticism_may_2015I don’t know about you but sometimes I don’t deal with critics well. I know that I am not alone because if we are all honest, we ALL can admit that we have received criticism that affected us emotionally, spiritually and physically Why? Because criticism can hurt us, fill us with doubt or make us consider abandoning our missions. Criticism makes us question if we are on the right path, disrupts our momentum and instills fear. Yes, we have all been there, haven’t we?

If criticism in constructive, I welcome it. I believe that feedback is and has been instructive, inspirational and insightful for me. Some of my best strategies, improvements and transformations have resulted from constructive feedback. So, If a critic’s goal is correction and not condemnation, I am all ears. Or, if the critic’s intention is elevation and not deflation, extermination or retaliation, please share. I want to be bigger, bolder and broader. We all do. Most people want to be and to give their best!

But over the years, I have learned that some critics are not trying to help you win; they want to wound you. They want to hurt, harm and hinder you, not help you. Their comments are not trying to cultivate you; there are trying to cripple you, curtail you and cut you. Trust me, everybody’s intentions are not positive. Even when their comments are wrapped in support or disguised as affirmation, it is easy to discern negative intention.

So handle to you handle critics? My elder gave me some sage advice. She said “Walk Through the Talk”.

keep walkingYes, walk through it. Aborting your mission is not going to satisfy your haters. Not pursuing your dreams will not benefit people who don’t care about you, your dream or your divine call. Being quiet is not going to help you change lives. Becoming invisible is not going to help your share your message with the world. Being scared is not going to help you be strategic or successful.  Being full of fear will not help you be more faithful! Being self-conscious is not foster courage.

Walk Through the Talk! You have a job to do. You have a divine assignment. You have a goal, a dream, and a desire. So, let them talk. Just walk through the talk with dignity, self-love and the assurance that you are doing what you have been ordained to do.


Don’t let toxic talk trap you!

Don’t let crazy, careless chatter cripple you!

Don’t let scandalous statements scare you!

Don’t let mean memos move you!

Don’t let rude remarks ruin you!

Don’t let crude comments curtail you!

Don’t let noxious notes negate you!

Don’t let ruthless reviews restrain you!

Don’t let glib gossip gut you!

Don’t let lethal lessons lower you!

Don’t let poisonous posts pimp you!

All criticism is not valid or valuable.  If the information is helpful, use it. If not, discard it immediately Don’t internalize anything that makes you doubt your ability to make a difference in the world.

“Walk Through The Talk” because the world needs to hear from you. And, nobody can say what you need to say like you can say it. Nobody! Your unique voice and vision are vital to us all.

Walk Through the Talk

Blessings to you always!


P.S. If you need more help walking through the talk register for Activate 2K16.  Lucinda Cross and her team have designed a world-class event to help you upgrade your business and activate your life.I look forward to seeing you there.

Register here. For greater savings, use discount code: SoarHigher




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Wash Your Feet

washyourgeet_600When I was a little girl, one of my elders gave me some sage advice. She said, “Baby, you can’t walk a new path, with dirty feet”.

I didn’t understand that principle when I was a little girl but for some reason, that message always stayed with me.  Somehow the universe, God, knew that the message would be needed on my life’s journey, especially since I am committed to being my BEST self and I am determined to have a life of abundance.

Now before I embark on a new project, start a new relationship or commit myself to a new way of being, I always ask myself, “SharRon, are your feet clean? Have you ended the old project so you can start a new one? Have you fully ended the old relationship so that you can be fully available to the new one? Have you implemented a new strategy so that you will not transfer what didn’t work from the old plan to the new one”?

new I always challenge myself to fully answer those questions because I realize that I will sabotage anything NEW if I bring the old, the non-productive, the non-essential, the tainted, the destructive and the broken into any new endeavor, exercise, event or experience. I make sure that I am emotionally, spiritually and physically ready to start something new in order to give myself the best chance for success.

If you are starting a new business, a new relationship, a new diet or anything new that will have a positive impact on your life, metaphorically wash your feet.

Acknowledge your pain.

Correct your dysfunction

Address your pathology.

Develop a strategy.

Release toxic people.

Initiate a spiritual practice.

Get new support.

Awaken to new possibilities.

Celebrate your greatness.

Explore your potential.

Show up more boldly in your life.

Love yourself.

startofanewjourneyDo whatever needs to be done to inject a new energy, to infuse a fresh enthusiasm and to apply a new effort into your life.  Don’t let reasons, rationale, residue and remnants from your past ruin the possibilities of you enjoying a powerful, productive and prosperous future.

You deserve the best so prepare yourself for the best. Wash your feet and start a new journey because the best is yet to come.

Dare to Soar Higher!

Blessings to you always!



P.S If you need help washing your feet, Join Lucinda Cross at ACTIVATE Experience 2K16. Register here. Register now. This event will sell out. I will be there too so please join me. I will be speaking about the power of partnerships. Are you connected to the right people? Let’s talk about it together. See you next month.


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Don’t Force It!

Some people, some positions, some conversations, some beliefs, some faith traditions and some behaviors are TOO small for you. Don’t force yourself into places that fail to honor ALL of who you are and ALL of what you believe.

Don’t force it! You deserve to express, experience, enjoy, explore, engage and entertain all of the different parts of you and all of the different parts of  your life.

#Dare to Soar Higher

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Healing While Working for Justice

enterpriseLast week was traumatizing. We can’t forget the victims, the villains, the violence or the vengeance we witnessed; those memories are forever etched in our minds. The images shook us and took us to fearful places, places we have never visited before and places that some of us have visited but pray to never frequent again.

It was and still is difficult to wrap our heads and hearts around what happened. The events shocked our souls, jolted our spirits and baffled our minds. We saw and experienced images that hit us in our most vulnerable, personal and political places. It felt like a nightmare; we wanted to wake up but we couldn’t so we cried, yelled, threw up, begged for mercy, called on God, reasoned with the ancestors, became angry, cussed, marched, mobilized, watched TV, hugged, got drunk……  We did whatever we could do to comfort ourselves as we attempted to make sense of the senseless and to give meaning to the meaningless.  The entire week was a reminder of the power of hate.

broken-heart.jpg.653x0_q80_crop-smartBut what do we do now? What do you do when you have been paralyzed by pain? What did you do when your wounds are still oozing and the emotional scabs have yet to be formed to provide protection from political contamination or emotional infection? What do you do when your spirit has been weaken and your soul has been assaulted? What do you do when you spiritually and emotionally ache in ways that you have never experienced before? What do you do?

You heal. YOU must heal! We must heal! We can heal! How do you heal?

You, we, start the healing journey. We start a healing journey that requires us to tell the truth about our pain, sorrow, shock, anger and whatever emotion fills our souls. We all start journeys that are uniquely ours because there is no blueprint, there is no template, there is no deadline and there is no recommended route for healing. All of us will take steps and hopefully and eventually find our way to spiritual recovery, mental cleansing and emotional wholeness.

WayForwardFeatureLet’s be honest. The healing journey will not be easy but you must start the process in a way that honors you. You don’t have a choice. Pretending that there is no pain won’t protect you. Avoiding the pain will not assuage you. Minimizing the pain won’t move you.  Numbing the pain won’t “normalize” you. You must tell your truth.

Yes, you must tell the truth to yourself and tell the truth to others. You must admit that you have been wounded. You must admit that you have been injured. You must admit that you have been emotionally fractured. You must admit that you are bruised even though you are still going to work, still raising your children and still doing your best to function as you attempt to deal with the aftermath of a pervasive, painful problem. You must say to yourself: I am HURTING right now and I need HELP.

truthPain must be acknowledged to start the journey toward healing; it must be spoken and we must LISTEN to ourselves and listen to others. We must listen to what is being said, and tune our hearts so that we don’t miss what is not being said. We must listen with our ears and with our hearts.

We must allow everyone to tell their own stories…even if their story is different from our own experience or own recollection or own perspective. We must listen attentively, empathetically and fully. We must allow stories to gradually unfold or be relayed in whatever way honors a person’s uniqueness. We must bear witness to each other’s pain and to each other’s humanity.

ss-talk-conversation-speech-bubble-800x450Speak. Please SPEAK! Speak and give your personal and systematic pain a name. Call out the emotion. Identify the distress. Label the madness. Characterize the terror. Speak! Remember….it is our silence that makes us and keeps us SICK – politically, emotionally, spiritual, financially, intellectually and physically sick!

We must continue to pray for the families who have lost loved ones. Their pain must be unbearable. I pray that God comforts them in a way that only God can.

prayWe must continue to pray for ourselves, our communities and our world. We all have been traumatized We all have been affected. We all have been forever changed by witnessing the loss of life, the absence of justice, the presence of vitriol and the disruption of our so-called peace.

We must continue to pray for power so that we can dismantle systems that degrade, demean, devalue and dis-enfranchise people. We must ACT strategically, collaboratively, consciously, prayerfully and consistently. We must toss aside egos, power mongering, posturing, grandstanding and other non-productive activities that impede progress so we can move forward as a human race.

We must march, mobilize, boycott and watch where we spend our money; yes, we must make our dollars make sense.  We must educate ourselves about policies that ignore our communities and disregard our humanity. We must teach our children their history, and ensure that our children understand that staying politically vigilant and engaged is critical. We must ensure that we create environments that allow our children to interact with people who live differently, love differently, pray differently and believe differently so that our children welcome, celebrate and embrace diversity.

freedomWe must contact our government representatives to voice our views and vote our concerns. We must join forces with all allies because as Dr. Martin Luther King stated – none of us are free until we all are free. We must reach beyond our own cultures, cliques, clans, circles, classes and communities so that we can work together for the common good of all people.

I have power. You have power. We have power. Let’s work together. Let’s advocate! Agitate! Participate!  Collaborate!  Co-create!  Celebrate! Force politicians to legislate! If I do something and if you do something, our “somethings” will create the momentum needed to change the ethos of the world.

Though we are emotional weary, we can’t sleep or rest until everybody – all God’s children – have the same rights to life, liberty, justice and human dignity. We must press on even if we must reach down deep in our souls to extract purpose, power and peace from our pain.

the-world-needs-youLet us work for peace AND at the same time start the healing journey. The world needs YOU. The world needs your energy, your effort, your enthusiasm and your expertise because the journey toward FULL freedom for all of God’s children must continue.



Blessings to you always!

sharron-back cover


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Looking and Seeing Ain’t the Same!

Looking-at-things-from-others-point-view.jpg-I have learned that “seeing” someone is not the same thing as “looking” at someone. Looking at someone only provides information about their appearance. It merely provides information about their style of dress, mannerisms, height, and weight—external stuff. And you still may not understand the external stuff if it is outside of your experience and beyond your purview.

But seeing someone provides information about their soul. It gives us pertinent information about their desires, fears, hopes, and dreams. It exposes us to their experiences that shaped their lives and educates us about their histories that inform their decisions. Seeing someone helps us understand how they navigate in the world or helps us realize how they are forced to exist. Seeing someone allows us to see some of who they are, not all, just some of who they are. We will never see all of them; sometimes there are elements of their lives that they themselves may not even know.


I have learned a hard lesson. I have learned that no matter how objective or how willing you are, really seeing someone is difficult. It is tough because it is hard to walk a mile in someone’s shoes, and sometimes it is even harder to even want to walk in their shoes.

It is also hard to challenge our assumptions, because we know everything, right? We are the experts on everything, and we know everybody—at least that is how we behave. We have been through everything and been everywhere, and there is nothing that we haven’t experienced, or at least that is how we act. We are the authorities on all cultures, faith traditions, and social systems—or at least, on some level, that is what we believe. And of course, we all understand all the details and nuances of our neighbors’ lives even though we have never spoken to our neighbors and cannot even identify them in a crowd if we do. We know it all, don’t we?

you don't know it allWhat if we really believed that we needed to meet a person before we actually knew them? What if we sincerely understood and accepted that how we live our lives is not the guide for the rest of humanity? What if we believed that how and whom we love are not the only ways to love?

What if we appreciated that our norms and beliefs are not the rubrics for the rest of the world? What if we believed that our families are not the prototypes for all families and communities? What if we agreed that our definition of success is not the only definition that matters? What if we recognized that all people have value regardless of their race, culture, class, income, gender, sexual orientation, age, ability, or faith? What if we acknowledged that our way is not the only way? What if we really believed that we don’t know it all? Maybe, just maybe, it will be easier to see someone else in all their glory, in all their humanity, and in all their divinity.

Counseling-Testing-Lets-Talk-LogoJust for today, intentionally try to see someone. Patiently challenge yourself to look beyond the clothes, cars, and circumstances, and see the person you are talking to. Listen to what they say, and tune your spirit to hear what they don’t say. Courageously ask questions about concepts and experiences you don’t understand. See them, because when you do, you can better see yourself. I promise.




***Adapted from my book,  I Have Learned A Few Things, Chapter 15


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My interview on Motivate U with June Archer

I am so grateful to June Archer for giving me an opportunity to share my message. Thank you!

To learn more about this amazing man, author, speaker, business owner and father, follow him at or Click Here.

You don’t want to miss his other inspirational podcasts….!-with-june-archer

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You Can’t Heal and Hide!

2 heartsI have learned that you can’t hide and heal at the same time. I had to learn that lesson the hard way, because for years, I tried to hide my depression. I tried to conceal my unhappiness by being excessively cheerful. I tried to hide my despair by being overly optimistic. I tried to hide my lack of sleep by ingesting large doses of caffeine. I tried to hide my untidy home by refusing visitors. I tried to camouflage my fluctuating weight with loose-fitting clothes. I tried to hide my insecurity by habitually overcommitting and overpromising. Most of my daily existence centered around me hiding parts of me, the parts that society convinced me were weak, embarrassing, and demonic. So every day, I attempted to hide the broken pieces of my spirit and cover up the open wounds of my soul. However, every day my depression demanded to be seen and felt. Despite my prayers and pleas, my depression would not go away.

I did everything in my power to keep my secret, and I went to great lengths to disguise any signs and symptoms of my extreme sadness. I did everything I knew to do to hide in plain sight. Eventually, hiding became my norm, and I lost the ability to identify who I really was and what I really felt. I got cocky and somehow convinced myself that my depression was concealed from the rest of the world. Sadly, I actually started to believe that I was okay, that I was well, and that I was functioning. I even convinced myself that my feelings of despair and lethargy were normal. I existed in a sea of denial.

Torn pieces of paper with the word "Depression". Concept Image. Black and White. Close-up.

I was in denial, but my inner circle wasn’t fooled at all. They didn’t know it was called depression, but they speculated that something was awry. Something was off-kilter or different about me even though they could not define it or diagnose it. They knew I was not as cheerful or joyful as I appeared to be. Even though I went to great lengths to camouflage my symptoms and disguise my despair, my inner circle sensed that something wasn’t adding up. My actions and attitude were not aligned.

Eventually, the pain became so great that I had to admit that “something” was wrong. I didn’t have a word for what I experienced, and I could not imagine that the emotional pain and sluggishness that robbed me of any modicum of normalcy were common. I finally realized and accepted that I needed help but that, most of all, I needed hope. But I could get neither by hiding from myself and hiding from people who loved me. I had to “come out” and admit and acknowledge that my life and my very orchestrated and protected persona were a scam. If I wanted healing, I could no longer hide; I had to “get known” and be seen.

women_s_liberation_statueOne of the most healing days in my life is when I came out of hiding. When I stepped out and stepped forward to admit that I needed help, I was freed. When I announced to myself and a few trusted friends that I needed support, I felt relieved and empowered. I felt courageous, and my admission opened the door to my recovery, and I thankfully was able to reclaim my life.

I know it is not easy but if you are hurting, please  come out of hiding.  Even if you have to do it slowly, come. Come out and speak! Speak up, speak out, and speak often. Be seen! Own your stuff! Your own voice may be the voice that brings you and others help, hope, and healing.

No, you can’t hide and heal. But you can reveal and heal. You can, trust me you can! I believe in you.

Blessings and Dare To Soar Higher!  SharRonsharron-back cover




Emotional Healing Interview – Channel 57


Adapted from a chapter in ” I Have Learned A Few Things”




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Go Back To What Made You Strong

Healthy_Heart_Strong_Muscles_I believe it is at the weakest times of our lives that it is important to remember what made US strong. So many times we get overwhelmed, we feel depressed, we feel depleted or we feel defeated. We stop building ourselves, nourishing ourselves, growing ourselves and loving ourselves. We forget what made us strong!

And when we don’t remember what fortified us and sustained us, we start to sink. We begin to play small, we become stagnant and we settle for less than what we deserve. We succumb to mediocrity, sickness, toxic relationships and we neglect self-care.

It is time to remember what helped US and encouraged US to BE strong.

three3 things keep me strong: a healthy body, a clear mind and a pure heart. No, I don’t have all 3 of them right now but I am working on it. I am doing my best and I am pressing forward and onward. I don’t let failure intimidate or immobilize me. I keep getting up every time I fall down or worse, after I sabotage my own efforts. But I don’t and won’t give up. I keep trying even if my “try” looks different day by day.

If you want to change or elevate your life, what do you do? You GO BACK TO WHAT MADE YOU STRONG!

How do you do that? First, reflect on your life and ask yourself a few questions.  For example: When did you feel empowered, engaged, excited, enlighten and elevated? When did you feel encouraged, motivated, inspired and ready to take on challenges? When did you feel fearless, faithful and fulfilled? When did your feel satisfied, successful, smart and sexy? When?

After you identify when, reflect on what you were doing? Were you meditating, writing, going to school, building a business, strengthening your body, expanding your mind? Maybe you were letting your NO be a NO and your Yes be a Yes?  Maybe you were not trying to be a people pleaser which allowed you to focus on yourself? Maybe you were not biting off my than you could chew or do?  Maybe you were cultivating healthy relationships that fed your mind, body and soul? What were you doing?

Identify what made you strong and don’t just return to those activities, enhance those activities. Do them better and bigger!  Make the activities that strengthen you a priority in your life. Be consistent so that you don’t lose momentum again or lose yourself again. Stay focused on you because You deserve and need your strength to do what you have been destined to do. YOU have a purpose to fulfill and a divine assignment to complete!

There is so much more for you to do in the world. The world needs your unique gift!! So, let’s get ready to be our best Selves. We can do it together!

If you are  interested in learning how I can support you to “go back”, please schedule a FREE discovery session. I can’t wait to meet you.

Blessings and Dare To Soar Higher!






If you are free on May 14, join us!






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Growth Is A Choice

Growth2Growth is a CHOICE! Choose to expand your mind and God will enlarge your territory.

Everybody wants to grow or at least that is what most people claim. But do you really want to grow? Do you really want to broaden your horizons? Do you really want to stretch your mind in new directions, open your mind to new possibilities, avail your mind to new revelations and do things that you have never done before? Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to explore the unfamiliar, the uncharted, the unpredictable and the unacknowledged?

I truly believe that when our minds grow we give God more space to pour in blessings and to deposit additional wisdom; I believe we literally give God more to work with. When we choose to grow, we welcome change and we welcome the opportunity to be changed.  We welcome being pushed, pulled, pressed and primed for the impossible, the uncomfortable, the unconventional and sometimes, the unacceptable.

When growth3jpgwe are really ready to grow, we risk relationships, rationale, ridicule and reputations to challenge assumptions and  defy limitations. Yes, we know some people will call us crazy. But despite what others say, we chose to nurture, cultivate and develop our minds. We make room for abundance, excellence, failure, discomfort, learning and mastery. We move beyond our intellect and develop our intuition and imagination. We soar beyond our education and seek continued exploration. We move beyond our routines and delve into additional research.We GROW!

Let’s face it. Growth is essential because the knowledge that we have today will not prepare us to succeed or even compete for opportunities tomorrow. Honestly, in some fields and in some relationships, the knowledge that we have today is already obsolete. And if the truth be told – in some areas of our lives we are already behind the eight ball. So, if we are not growing, we are losing momentum every day.

Growth4So, If you are committed to growth, shun complacency, mediocrity, normalcy and the status quo.  Avoid the simple, the ordinary, and the easy. Reject any signs and semblance of stagnation, regression and resignation in your life. Surround yourself with excellence, mentors, meaning-makers, truth-tellers and truth-seekers. Invest in yourself, commit to progress and resist the temptation to quit. Strive to thrive. Pursue progress! Accept advancement! Embrace elevation!  Love learning!

What do you need to choose? To have the life that you desire and deserve, choose Growth. Choose to grow up, grow out and grow in so that God can enlarge your intellectual, emotional, spiritual and financial territories. Give God more to work with so that you can live the life of your dreams. ( from the upcoming book The 50 Choices to a Fulfilling Life)

Choose growth today. The choice is yours.

Blessings! SharRon


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