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Today’s Purpose Woman – Features SharRon Jamison

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I HAVE LEARNED A FEW THINGS

Reprinted from Today's Purpose Woman

SharRon Jamison –  life coach, speaker, visionary and author of I Have Learned A Few Things shares some of the things life has taught her and how she’s allowing God to use her to help heal and liberate others.

What life was like for SharRon Jamison:

My life was fruitful, but not as fulfilling as it is now.  I had and still have a rewarding career in the biopharmaceutical industry. I was and still am a mother to a wonderful son. I was and still am a motivational speaker, minister, and life strategist. My life was full. I was being professionally challenged, but I knew that there had to be more because my heart was not singing. I wanted my heart to sing, and sing emphatically and consistently.

I also knew that there had to be more because I believed that my life and my experiences, both negative and positive, were preparing me for something bigger and bolder. I had endured and overcome some painful life experiences, and I believed that my experiences were lessons. I knew in my heart that my old pain – my lessons –  was to be used to heal, challenge, and liberate others. I knew in a visceral way that my pain was to be used to propel people forward. And so, I worked to prepare myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to advocate for people through speaking, teaching, counseling, and writing.  I wanted to combine my corporate experience and my ministry experience in a way that helped me reach people differently and reach people who practiced faith differently.

To read the entire article: http://www.todayspurposewoman.com/author-sharron-jamison

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LOVE Lifted ME!!

“Love lifHealthy_Heart_Strong_Muscles_ted me, Love Lifted me, when nothing else could help, Love lifted me”. This chorus is part of a hymn that I learned as a little girl. I remember singing the chorus loudly and passionately, even though I did not know what love was or what it meant to be lifted. I just sang the song and enjoyed the enthusiastic applause from the adults.

But a few years ago, I heard the song again and the words made me consider the meaning of love, and the ability of love to lift people. What I know for sure is that love can lift – elevate, excite, empower and encourage – only if love contains the right elements. What are the right elements? I am glad that you asked.

I have learned that love can L.I.F.T. if the love that is offered and received is LIBERATING and not LIMITING.

 

I believe that liberating love is vital because liberating love allows us to grow, to express and to ewomen_s_liberation_statuexperience all of who we are, and provides space to imagine all that we can be. It removes the shackles of labels, expectations, roles and assumptions that deprive all of us of our personality, individuality, and creativity.

 

Liberating love doesn’t silence our voices, dismiss our dreams, extinguish our passions or discount our purpose. No, liberating love energizes us and electrifies us; it produces, it sparks and it initiates.  Most of all, it allows us and our relationships to evolve without demanding that we conform to relationship models or paradigms that fail to support, serve or satisfy our innermost desires and our needs. Liberating love frees us spiritually, emotionally and mentally.  It lets us BE!

 

Yes, liberating love provides freedom – freedom to transform, freedom to reform, and the freedom to create our own norm. Liberating love is expansive and challenges us to unleash our maximum potential, discover endless possibilities and pursue our God-given destinies. Liberating love encourages us to live our lives on purpose, without permission, without validation, and without apology. It invites us to be full, fulfilled and fruitful.

 

fear1If liberating love is so amazing, why do we so often attract and cling to love that is limiting? The answer is simple – FEAR. Many of us fear the unknown, the unexpected, the unpredictable and the untried. Many times we reject anything out of the ordinary or anything outside of our experience. Sometimes we are so controlled by fear that we emotionally and intellectually starve our relationships and let them decline, dissolve and disintegrate into habits, formalities, and routines that rob us of joy, growth, happiness, or stimulation.

 

So how can we ensure that your love is liberating? Here are a few steps you can take to ensure that your relationships stay fluid, fulfilling and fun.

 

1) Be open to new, new everything – experiences, events, people, philosophies, countries, contexts, etc. Allow yourself to experience anything and everything, legally that is, that tickles your fancy. That way you have an opportunity to learn what you do like and what you don’t like.

 

2) Be adventurous and take risks, calculated risks that offer opportunities to broaden your perspectives.  Keep in mind that the broader you go, that more you will know and the more you will grow.

 

3) Be willing to be uncomfortable and always remember that discomfort is a part of learning, living and growing.  Don’t do what you have always done or you will have what you have always had. Explore!

 

goodnewsThe good news is that our relationships don’t have to be regulated and relegated to rules, regulations and rubrics that promote mediocrity, dullness, and disconnection. We can change and create relationships that release us to strive and soar. We can make relationship decisions that unlock new passions, offer new perspectives and transform our lives. We can choose liberating love and honor ourselves and our partners. ( From my upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few MORE Things)

The moral of the story: You be You, I will be Me and together We both will be free!

 

“No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow. ” – Alice Walker

 

Stay tuned because I plan to continue this series in the coming weeks.

 

I was recently featured in Today’s Purpose Woman magazine. If you have a moment, I hope you will check it out. Click Here To Read

Dare to Soar Higher!
SharRon

SharRon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let Me In!

ICDOM-standing

Chapter 9    ON THE LAST day of school, I walked home instead of riding the school bus back to my part of town, Chocolate City. I did not feel like listening to people playing the Dozens, and I didn’t want to be the target of any more jokes. I was tired, bone tired. Throughout the entire school year, I had endured mean-spirited comments from both races. And on the bus home, I endured hurtful comments from people who I desperately wanted to embrace me. But for some reason, they did not like me or welcome me. And so, I walked and I thought. I tried to make sense of it all. What was I doing or not doing? How could I get into the “in” groups? I did not mind the White kids disliking me, but I wanted to understand how could I make the Black kids like and accept me? Why didn’t I belong? I walked slowly as I tried to make sense of my outsider status.

During my walk home, I analyzed the failed strategies I used to gain acceptance into the “in” crowd. Since I was going to junior high school in the fall, I needed to find a way to make new friends or just make fewer enemies. When we moved to Sikeston, I initially tried to be helpful to make friends. I helped with chores, did homework, and helped friends sell cupcakes for money; but that didn’t work. I laughed at jokes that were not funny and tried to use the most current colloquialisms, but I was not too good at that either. I tried to be sexy like the other girls and snuck makeup to wear during school. That strategy ended when I forgot to wash the makeup off before I got home. Getting the beat down from my mother deterred me from trying that again. But what worked somewhat was buying people doughnuts, some would called it bribery, but I called it developing friendships.

enterpriseEvery morning, I would buy a few Black girls doughnuts and try to interact with them before school started. When I did not provide doughnuts, I was not allowed to associate with them. So I understood that doughnuts were my admission price into the cool crowd. I am embarrassed to admit that I bought doughnuts for months just to be allowed to rub elbows with the girls who existed in the periphery of that group.  I didn’t have my own money, so I stole money from my mother’s purse just to ensure that I had my entry fee into the world of popularity—the coveted doughnuts. Even though our family was financially struggling, my need for acceptance into the in crowds overruled my concern for me and siblings. I wanted in! And if doughnuts provided the ticket, I bought doughnuts.

The girls must have sensed my desperation to be their friends because they ordered me around like a puppy dog. They made demands like “Go get my books,” “Go get me extra milk,” “Give me your fries,” “Give me your cookies,” “Do my homework,” and “Take this to my locker.” Whatever they told me to do, I did. When they wanted my lunch, I gave it even if it meant being hungry for the rest of the day. When they wanted to wear my coat, I let them even if it meant me being cold. When they wanted me to do their homework, I did it even if it meant that I had to stay up late to do mine. I was being manipulated, but I did not know it. To me, I was just being part of the group. But to others, who were only too willing to tell me, I was being punked. They eagerly informed me that I was being played and that I was being a fool. In some ways, I knew that I was being laughed at, but my hunger for acceptance was greater than my need for respect. I was desperate! I was in dire need of validation, so whatever I needed to be and almost whatever I needed to do to confirm my worth and my visibility, I did. I know it sounds pathetic, but it was true.

After about three months of feeling like a flunky and working harder than a slave, I stopped. I did not give any warning or any explanationbroken-heart.jpg.653x0_q80_crop-smarts. The guilt of taking money from my mother’s purse was gnawing away at my spirit. And I finally started to feel like a fool. Something clicked in my spirit, and I finally accepted that I was being taken advantage of. I knew people were laughing at me for months, but for some reason, the ridicule finally hurt me deep enough for me to stop. I finally felt humiliated enough to make a change.  I made a decision—no more doughnuts, no more errands, no more kissing up, no more homework assignments, no more sharing my lunch, no more anything.  Privately, I nursed my emotional wounds caused by my own self-orchestrated public humiliation and self-choreographed degradation.

I thought about my conciliatory behavior during my walk home. What made me sell my soul to be accepted? Why would I be willing to risk not only myself but my family? Why would I succumb to stealing to be a groupie? I asked myself some hard questions, but I had no answers. The only answer that resonated within me was that I wanted friends! I wanted to see what it felt like to be in. I had existed on the fringes and survived in the periphery for so long that I hungered for acceptance, acknowledgement, and approval.

truthIt took a long time for me to accept that I was selling myself short. In some ways, I saw my self-degrading behavior. And even when I did not want to mentally acknowledge that I was behaving in ways that did not support me, my body knew. My body rebelled with crushing bouts of anxiety, insomnia, and despair. Despite my body’s warning signals, I continued to conduct myself in self-debasing ways. I tried to convince myself and to pretend that I did not engage in self-dishonoring ways. I rationalized my behavior. I told myself that I was just being a wonderful friend, caring girlfriend, and a generous lover. But the truth was that I had low esteem and, I was scared of being left out, and that I did not feel as if I was worthy enough of being liked and loved for being me, SharRon. Years of bad experiences in schools had validated my feelings of worthlessness and infected me with the disease to please.

WayForwardFeatureThe walk home was long. Sometimes, I would just stop and sit down on the curb because my thoughts weighed me down. I really wanted to hide when I not only recognized but accepted that some of the rumors about me being a kiss ass were true. I felt embarrassed and humiliated by my actions, and my spirit was filled with regret. I rehearsed “woulda, shoulda, and coulda” scenarios as if I would have an opportunity to redo those experiences. I wanted and needed a do-over so that I could repair my shattered image and rebuild my self-esteem, but I knew that was impossible. Shame and disappointment overwhelmed me as I relived and replayed my obsequious behavior. I needed to forgive myself, but I did not know how. Who was I? I did not know anymore. All I knew was that I did not want to be who and what I had been. That was the only thought that came out of my one-hour walk home.

I finally got home to our small house in Chocolate City. The walk was tiring, and the thinking was hard. I had much to think about this summer. Junior high was going to be different, it had to be. However, I was not sure what different meant. But whatever happened, I knew that I could depend on God, but I was not sure if God could depend on me. (Adapted from the bestselling book, I Can Depend On Me)

Blessings to you always!

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SharRon

 

 

***Learn about the strategies that I used to heal my spirit. Register now for the FREE Webinar.Register here. Hope to see you on Tuesday, Oct 18th.

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Can You Dance?

dance2I am not the best dancer, but I can move. I can do the hustle, the wobble, the electric slide, and most dances from the 70’s. I can even do some of the newer dances, with the exception of “twerking”. All of that jerking and gyrating is bad on my 50+ year-old knees.

But even though I can’t do the newest dances or “drop it like it’s hot”, I refuse to leave the dance floor. I stay on the dance floor and I do what I can do; I dance.

In many ways, relationships are like dancing.  They both require coordination, rhythm, leadership, decision-making and movement. And, just like good dancing requires a willing partner and good music, so does a loving relationship. How are they similar? I am glad you asked.

In the rhythmNetherlands, the Dutch believe that “every couple has a rhythm”, a way of functioning that makes the relationship work.  And the more I observe couples, that more I believe that statement is true.   If you don’t believe me, just observe happy couples who have been together for a while.  If you watch them closely, you can see that they have found their pace, their beat, their speed. They have somehow synchronized their lives in a way that supports and sustains their union.

dancearticleIf you spend time with successful couples, you will also notice that they have coordinated their lives in a way that helps them share space, time, and most importantly, share themselves. They have organized and orchestrated their wake-times, sleep times, meal times, sex times, quiet times, chore times and other times in a way that allows them to experience harmony, synergy and sometimes, ecstasy.   Whatever the activity, a happy couple’s rhythm produces happiness, cooperation, efficiency, interdependence and great companionship.  They have what I have coined as good “relationship rhythm”. In other words, they flow.

Good dancers and happy couples have another thing in common: versatility. Good dancers are flexible; they can adjust to the beat and adapt to the genre. They can wiggle, do the Harlem shake, and then go to the country western club and dosey doe. They can stiffen up and dazzle us with the robot, and then they can loosen up and do the running man down the Soul Train line. They can jiggle their legs to do the “stanky leg”, and then slow it down and groove to the tunes of Smokey Robinson. Good dancers adjust and modify to engage the music. In other words, they adapt to their environment.

danceHealthy relationships are the same; they are flexible. They adjust to hard times and celebrate the good times. They adapt to prosperity and restructure in poverty. They revel in success, and then bounce back from failure. They deal with sickness and appreciate health. They accommodate family, while protecting “couple time”. Whatever the situation and whatever the circumstance, successful couples adapt.

Successful couples accept that situations may change, but never their love. So like good dancers who keep dancing despite the genre, despite the tempo, despite the crowd, despite the music, despite not knowing  how to do the most current dances, despite the pain in their bodies – so do successful couples continue to dance and love despite the vicissitudes of life.  Successful couples keep dancing! For better or worse, they ride the waves of life.

will-salsa-dancing-help-me-lose-weight_1-1024x1024Finally, good dancers and healthy couples both do another thing well; they manage space.  Have you ever watched good dancers when they are really getting down? I may be aging myself with that terminology, but have you observed really good dancers when they are “jamming”?  Somehow they instinctively know when to dance closely, and when it would easier and better to dance farther apart.  They know when to pull back so that they can do a certain move, and then they know when to grab their partner’s hand or waist to twist and turn. In other words, they effectively manage distance and space.

One of the ways that successful couples effectively manage distance and space is by developing and honoring healthy boundaries. Together they set limits which allow each partner to be independent, while at the same time, interdependent. Together they establish mutually beneficial guidelines and relationship rules that ensure that they love, support, respect, protect, honor and value each other. Together, is the operative word.

dance3Happy couples get it right, or at least they work on trying to get it right. They realize the need to be close enough to nurture intimacy, and at the same time, be far enough away to preserve their own identity.  In addition, successful couples manage distance and space by understanding that contexts, circumstances and growth may/could affect how they relate to each other. And most importantly, they talk about it. They don’t hide their feelings, play mind games or expect their partners to read their minds. They talk!!!! But above all, they realize that despite changes in space and distance, they will always find their way back to each other’s arms – literally and figuratively.

dance_1Can you dance? Are you able to glide down the floor of life with a wonderful partner? Can your relationship withstand changes, or do transitions stop you dead in your tracks? Do you know how to step sideways or away without losing your partner’s hand, head or heart? Can you deal with closeness, and occasional distance, while still moving to the music?  Are you open to different genres – modern dance, waltzing, salsa, line dancing and just good ole’ busting a move? Can you dance to the music in your head if there is no music being played in the room? Do you have relationship rhythm? Can you dance?

If you can’t dance, I hope you will just keep moving on the dance floor, love floor, until you are able to experience all of the joy that you can stand. I hope you don’t let one wrong song, one wrong move, one wrong experience or one wrong partner, stop you from dancing or loving.
dance4If you are single, dance!  If you are in a relationship, dance! Just keep moving, keep growing, keep seeking, and keep loving. And, eventually, you will create the song, the love, the routine, the life and the experience that you are looking for.

It is time to dance……so get moving….get your groove on!  Turn, twist and tootsie roll. Shuffle, shake and slide. It is your life and your love. You deserve the best! ( excerpt from my upcoming book I Learned A Few Things About Love!)

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Blessings to you always!

SharRon

*** Don’t forget to register for my Free Webinar in October…”Loving Me”.

Register here for the free webinar!

We are raising monbaredmychestey for charities. Help us Get the word out about our provocative anthology, I Bared My Chest! Click here:  https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/47728-the-ibaredmychest-campaign

 

 

 

 

 

AND>>>> Don’t forget to register for the Whole Woman Symposium. 

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Do You Have A “Me-Time” Budget?

bmb-0623568-previewI love relationships. I love the feeling of being connected to people who love me. I love the warmth of concern, the comfort of the hugs, and the assurance that someone has my back.

But even though I love people and I enjoy being connected to people, I have learned that some connections are too emotionally and spiritually expensive for me.  Yes, some friendships cost too much emotionally, and they cost too much to maintain. It is probably not the most politically appropriate thing to say, but here is the truth. Some friendships are so costly that they prevent me from adhering to my budget, my “me-time” budget. And as a result, they have to be deleted from or repositioned in my life.

self-care-tank-292x300-1It was not easy coming to that conclusion. I struggled before I embraced a me-time budget because I felt that ministers and others in the healing professions should always be welcoming, understanding, and accommodating. I thought and was taught that we give of ourselves. But one day, I realized that I had given so much that I had given myself away. I realized that I gave my time, talent, and money and love away so freely and so indiscriminately that I was emotionally bankrupt, broken, busted, and disgusted. I had nothing, and I failed to have my own back.

budgetThankfully, I have learned that it is important to develop and adhere to a me-time budget. I learned that it was important to plan and manage my life to ensure that I have good emotional health. And I learned that my budget had to exclude anybody or anything that required me to constantly give—which meant that all my really needy associates and associations had to go. It was a hard decision, but I realized that I could not continue to make deposits in needy people or in needy organizations because the constant giving was killing me; it was bankrupting me. I perpetually felt emotionally drained, financially stretched, and spiritually depleted. I had to choose—me or them. I chose me.

So how can you determine if a person is emotionally needy?

job-criteria-1I am glad you asked. A needy person is one who consistently needs a ride, a drink, a loan, an ear, some money, some advice, some help, an excessive amount of patience, multiple phone calls, too many favors, lots of attention, constant support, or tons of quality time that you don’t have. Needy people are people who always want you to accommodate their plans, adjust to their schedules, tiptoe around their feelings, only discuss their lives, or sidestep their fragile egos. A needy person is a person who always needs to be right and always needs you to be wrong. Needy!

Here is the truth. You only have so much energy, time, and resources. If you want to be healthy, wealthy, wise, and whole, you cannot have your life cluttered with messy folks, foolishness, fiascos, fires, or other people’s feelings. You cannot invest or get so overly involved in the lives of others that you render yourself penniless, pathetic, pitiful, and powerless. You must determine and control who engages in, enters in, and exits from your life. You have to be the boss of you and your life.

self-careSo what’s your budget? If you don’t have one, make one and enforce it. Do your best to adhere to your emotional time allocations too; don’t overspend unless it is an emergency. Don’t borrow from your emotional bank account or tap into your emotional reserves either. Monitor yourself, and do not spend too close to your emotional capacity; leave some wiggle room, just in case you need additional rest. Never forget that being in emotional arrears will negatively affect your life, and you don’t need or deserve that.

When people ask why you have made or why you are making changes in your life, tell them that you are on a budget. You are on a me-time budget, and encourage them to make a budget for themselves too.( Adapted Chapter 14 of the bestselling book, I Have Learned A Few Things. The book is available on the website on the right.)

**** Stay tuned for more information about the 4 week " I Can Depend On Me" Online training program. I hope you will join me and other powerful women on the journey. It will be a life-changing and life-giving experience.

I hope you enjoy the video – “Love Yourself First”

Blessings to you always!

If you feel that others will enjoy the article, please share.

SharRon

 

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Try Before You Cry

black-girl-cryingI will admit it. When I was a little girl, I gave all types of excuses, reasons, and justifications to stay in my comfort zone.  Yes, me. I lied and cried when adversity or opportunity demanded that I stretch my wings, enlarge my heart and expand my mind. I was not interested in doing anything new, difficult, different or creative. I wanted to stay in my secure silos even if staying meant missing out on the fun, missing a meal or not getting an ice cream cone.  I didn’t want to budge; I was obstinate.

Yes, me.  I would cry, but really sob uncontrollably, if pushed to try anything that required extra effort or too much energy. Due to my painful childhood experiences, I lived in a spirit of defeat. I expected to lose. I anticipated failure. I was convinced that I could not win. So, I always cried; crying was my preemptive strike to encourage adults to excuse me from trying anything that I deemed too hard. Of course, I deemed everything too hard.

But when I was little girl, one of my elders gave me some sage advice. She said, “Baby, don’t cry until you try”.

try1As a child, I thought that advice was foolish. I didn’t feel that crying was something that had to be earned. I wanted to cry so I didn’t have to try. I wanted to cry so people would accommodate me, care for me and expect nothing from me. I wanted my tears to invoke sympathy so that people would let me off the hook. I wanted my sobbing and sniffling to exempt me from hard labor, which for me meant trying anything that exacerbated my already deteriorating self-esteem.

But somewhere along the way, my elder’s advice resonated me and I realized that crying before I tried to do something was crippling me. Crying and getting all worked up only drained my energy and dampen my spirit.  And let’s be honest. The crying really didn’t work. My tears convinced no one to let me settle for mediocrity, ordinary or average. My runny nose and blood-stained eyes didn’t encourage my parents to let me to exist on the sidelines. No way!

stop-making-excusesEventually I gave up my crying strategy and made a promise to myself to actually try something before I conceded defeat.  I abandoned such phrases like:

  • I don’t know how
  • It’s too hard
  • I never done that before
  • It will take too long
  • My friends don’t have to do it
  • Why me
  • I will miss my TV show
  • It’s not fair
  • You are picking on me
  • You hate me
  • People are going to laugh at me
  • I am too fat
  • I am not tall enough
  • I am too tall
  • I am too young
  • I am too old
  • I can’t do it
  • Why do I have to go first
  • People are going to hate me
  • I am not good at stuff like that
  • I may hurt myself
  • I have homework to do

My list was comprehensive and I was creative. I had all types of excuses and rationale to escape doing something new.

Thankfully, I grew up and grew out of that self-sabotaging behavior. I stopped the excuses, and I discovered that I actually loved trying new things. I loved the feeling that I got when I was doing something that I have never done before. It was exhilarating.

97370-Enjoy-LifeTrying new things made me proud of myself and did wonders for my re-emerging self-esteem.  The more I tried new things, the more I wanted to try.  Stepping outside of my comfort zone encouraged me to live fully, love freely and trust deeply. The adage is true: Nothing beats a try.

If you cry before you try or complain before you pursue, I want to encourage you to Try Before You Cry. Maybe you will fail, or find out that you don’t enjoy something. But maybe, just maybe, you will discover new skills, revisit a dormant talent, reclaim your power, reignite an old passion or experience an adventure.

There is nothing wrong with crying; crying is cleansing. But getting all worked up before you even exert any energy, effort or enthusiasm to try something new, does not serve or support you. It actually limits and hinders you. Trust me, I know. My proactive crying strategy did nothing but make me miss out on life –  experiences, opportunities, love and pure joy.

Try Before You Cry! Give yourself a chance! You deserve it!

Blessings to you always!

SharRon

P.S. If you are ready to be bigger, better and more profitable in your business, register for Activate 2K16.  Lucinda Cross and her team have designed a world-class event to help you upgrade your business and activate your life.I look forward to seeing you there.

Register here because you don’t want to miss this life-changing event. For greater savings, use discount code: SoarHigher.

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Walk Through The Talk

criticism_may_2015I don’t know about you but sometimes I don’t deal with critics well. I know that I am not alone because if we are all honest, we ALL can admit that we have received criticism that affected us emotionally, spiritually and physically Why? Because criticism can hurt us, fill us with doubt or make us consider abandoning our missions. Criticism makes us question if we are on the right path, disrupts our momentum and instills fear. Yes, we have all been there, haven’t we?

If criticism in constructive, I welcome it. I believe that feedback is and has been instructive, inspirational and insightful for me. Some of my best strategies, improvements and transformations have resulted from constructive feedback. So, If a critic’s goal is correction and not condemnation, I am all ears. Or, if the critic’s intention is elevation and not deflation, extermination or retaliation, please share. I want to be bigger, bolder and broader. We all do. Most people want to be and to give their best!

But over the years, I have learned that some critics are not trying to help you win; they want to wound you. They want to hurt, harm and hinder you, not help you. Their comments are not trying to cultivate you; there are trying to cripple you, curtail you and cut you. Trust me, everybody’s intentions are not positive. Even when their comments are wrapped in support or disguised as affirmation, it is easy to discern negative intention.

So handle to you handle critics? My elder gave me some sage advice. She said “Walk Through the Talk”.

keep walkingYes, walk through it. Aborting your mission is not going to satisfy your haters. Not pursuing your dreams will not benefit people who don’t care about you, your dream or your divine call. Being quiet is not going to help you change lives. Becoming invisible is not going to help your share your message with the world. Being scared is not going to help you be strategic or successful.  Being full of fear will not help you be more faithful! Being self-conscious is not foster courage.

Walk Through the Talk! You have a job to do. You have a divine assignment. You have a goal, a dream, and a desire. So, let them talk. Just walk through the talk with dignity, self-love and the assurance that you are doing what you have been ordained to do.

Remember…

Don’t let toxic talk trap you!

Don’t let crazy, careless chatter cripple you!

Don’t let scandalous statements scare you!

Don’t let mean memos move you!

Don’t let rude remarks ruin you!

Don’t let crude comments curtail you!

Don’t let noxious notes negate you!

Don’t let ruthless reviews restrain you!

Don’t let glib gossip gut you!

Don’t let lethal lessons lower you!

Don’t let poisonous posts pimp you!

All criticism is not valid or valuable.  If the information is helpful, use it. If not, discard it immediately Don’t internalize anything that makes you doubt your ability to make a difference in the world.

“Walk Through The Talk” because the world needs to hear from you. And, nobody can say what you need to say like you can say it. Nobody! Your unique voice and vision are vital to us all.

Walk Through the Talk

Blessings to you always!

SharRon

P.S. If you need more help walking through the talk register for Activate 2K16.  Lucinda Cross and her team have designed a world-class event to help you upgrade your business and activate your life.I look forward to seeing you there.

Register here. For greater savings, use discount code: SoarHigher

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Wash Your Feet

washyourgeet_600When I was a little girl, one of my elders gave me some sage advice. She said, “Baby, you can’t walk a new path, with dirty feet”.

I didn’t understand that principle when I was a little girl but for some reason, that message always stayed with me.  Somehow the universe, God, knew that the message would be needed on my life’s journey, especially since I am committed to being my BEST self and I am determined to have a life of abundance.

Now before I embark on a new project, start a new relationship or commit myself to a new way of being, I always ask myself, “SharRon, are your feet clean? Have you ended the old project so you can start a new one? Have you fully ended the old relationship so that you can be fully available to the new one? Have you implemented a new strategy so that you will not transfer what didn’t work from the old plan to the new one”?

new I always challenge myself to fully answer those questions because I realize that I will sabotage anything NEW if I bring the old, the non-productive, the non-essential, the tainted, the destructive and the broken into any new endeavor, exercise, event or experience. I make sure that I am emotionally, spiritually and physically ready to start something new in order to give myself the best chance for success.

If you are starting a new business, a new relationship, a new diet or anything new that will have a positive impact on your life, metaphorically wash your feet.

Acknowledge your pain.

Correct your dysfunction

Address your pathology.

Develop a strategy.

Release toxic people.

Initiate a spiritual practice.

Get new support.

Awaken to new possibilities.

Celebrate your greatness.

Explore your potential.

Show up more boldly in your life.

Love yourself.

startofanewjourneyDo whatever needs to be done to inject a new energy, to infuse a fresh enthusiasm and to apply a new effort into your life.  Don’t let reasons, rationale, residue and remnants from your past ruin the possibilities of you enjoying a powerful, productive and prosperous future.

You deserve the best so prepare yourself for the best. Wash your feet and start a new journey because the best is yet to come.

Dare to Soar Higher!

Blessings to you always!

SharRon

 

P.S If you need help washing your feet, Join Lucinda Cross at ACTIVATE Experience 2K16. Register here. Register now. This event will sell out. I will be there too so please join me. I will be speaking about the power of partnerships. Are you connected to the right people? Let’s talk about it together. See you next month.

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Don’t Force It!

Some people, some positions, some conversations, some beliefs, some faith traditions and some behaviors are TOO small for you. Don’t force yourself into places that fail to honor ALL of who you are and ALL of what you believe.

Don’t force it! You deserve to express, experience, enjoy, explore, engage and entertain all of the different parts of you and all of the different parts of  your life.

#Dare to Soar Higher

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Healing While Working for Justice

enterpriseLast week was traumatizing. We can’t forget the victims, the villains, the violence or the vengeance we witnessed; those memories are forever etched in our minds. The images shook us and took us to fearful places, places we have never visited before and places that some of us have visited but pray to never frequent again.

It was and still is difficult to wrap our heads and hearts around what happened. The events shocked our souls, jolted our spirits and baffled our minds. We saw and experienced images that hit us in our most vulnerable, personal and political places. It felt like a nightmare; we wanted to wake up but we couldn’t so we cried, yelled, threw up, begged for mercy, called on God, reasoned with the ancestors, became angry, cussed, marched, mobilized, watched TV, hugged, got drunk……  We did whatever we could do to comfort ourselves as we attempted to make sense of the senseless and to give meaning to the meaningless.  The entire week was a reminder of the power of hate.

 
broken-heart.jpg.653x0_q80_crop-smartBut what do we do now? What do you do when you have been paralyzed by pain? What did you do when your wounds are still oozing and the emotional scabs have yet to be formed to provide protection from political contamination or emotional infection? What do you do when your spirit has been weaken and your soul has been assaulted? What do you do when you spiritually and emotionally ache in ways that you have never experienced before? What do you do?

You heal. YOU must heal! We must heal! We can heal! How do you heal?

You, we, start the healing journey. We start a healing journey that requires us to tell the truth about our pain, sorrow, shock, anger and whatever emotion fills our souls. We all start journeys that are uniquely ours because there is no blueprint, there is no template, there is no deadline and there is no recommended route for healing. All of us will take steps and hopefully and eventually find our way to spiritual recovery, mental cleansing and emotional wholeness.

WayForwardFeatureLet’s be honest. The healing journey will not be easy but you must start the process in a way that honors you. You don’t have a choice. Pretending that there is no pain won’t protect you. Avoiding the pain will not assuage you. Minimizing the pain won’t move you.  Numbing the pain won’t “normalize” you. You must tell your truth.

Yes, you must tell the truth to yourself and tell the truth to others. You must admit that you have been wounded. You must admit that you have been injured. You must admit that you have been emotionally fractured. You must admit that you are bruised even though you are still going to work, still raising your children and still doing your best to function as you attempt to deal with the aftermath of a pervasive, painful problem. You must say to yourself: I am HURTING right now and I need HELP.

truthPain must be acknowledged to start the journey toward healing; it must be spoken and we must LISTEN to ourselves and listen to others. We must listen to what is being said, and tune our hearts so that we don’t miss what is not being said. We must listen with our ears and with our hearts.

We must allow everyone to tell their own stories…even if their story is different from our own experience or own recollection or own perspective. We must listen attentively, empathetically and fully. We must allow stories to gradually unfold or be relayed in whatever way honors a person’s uniqueness. We must bear witness to each other’s pain and to each other’s humanity.

ss-talk-conversation-speech-bubble-800x450Speak. Please SPEAK! Speak and give your personal and systematic pain a name. Call out the emotion. Identify the distress. Label the madness. Characterize the terror. Speak! Remember….it is our silence that makes us and keeps us SICK – politically, emotionally, spiritual, financially, intellectually and physically sick!

We must continue to pray for the families who have lost loved ones. Their pain must be unbearable. I pray that God comforts them in a way that only God can.

prayWe must continue to pray for ourselves, our communities and our world. We all have been traumatized We all have been affected. We all have been forever changed by witnessing the loss of life, the absence of justice, the presence of vitriol and the disruption of our so-called peace.

We must continue to pray for power so that we can dismantle systems that degrade, demean, devalue and dis-enfranchise people. We must ACT strategically, collaboratively, consciously, prayerfully and consistently. We must toss aside egos, power mongering, posturing, grandstanding and other non-productive activities that impede progress so we can move forward as a human race.

We must march, mobilize, boycott and watch where we spend our money; yes, we must make our dollars make sense.  We must educate ourselves about policies that ignore our communities and disregard our humanity. We must teach our children their history, and ensure that our children understand that staying politically vigilant and engaged is critical. We must ensure that we create environments that allow our children to interact with people who live differently, love differently, pray differently and believe differently so that our children welcome, celebrate and embrace diversity.

freedomWe must contact our government representatives to voice our views and vote our concerns. We must join forces with all allies because as Dr. Martin Luther King stated – none of us are free until we all are free. We must reach beyond our own cultures, cliques, clans, circles, classes and communities so that we can work together for the common good of all people.

I have power. You have power. We have power. Let’s work together. Let’s advocate! Agitate! Participate!  Collaborate!  Co-create!  Celebrate! Force politicians to legislate! If I do something and if you do something, our “somethings” will create the momentum needed to change the ethos of the world.

Though we are emotional weary, we can’t sleep or rest until everybody – all God’s children – have the same rights to life, liberty, justice and human dignity. We must press on even if we must reach down deep in our souls to extract purpose, power and peace from our pain.

the-world-needs-youLet us work for peace AND at the same time start the healing journey. The world needs YOU. The world needs your energy, your effort, your enthusiasm and your expertise because the journey toward FULL freedom for all of God’s children must continue.

 

#DaretoSoarHigher!

Blessings to you always!

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