This election season has me thinking a lot about ghosts—not the ghosts we see in movies or cartoons, but the types of ghosts that interfere with our ability to live honest, peaceful, and soul-nourishing lives.

So, today, I want to talk about the invisible ghosts from your past –  experiences, beliefs, doubts, fears, trauma, obligations, conditioning, memories, assumptions, unspoken narratives, etc. –  that influence and shape your life.

Why?

We can ONLY live creatively, openly, and authentically if we can determine what is helping us, haunting us, or hindering us in our quest to be emotionally mature, productive, contributing members of society. Without introspection and insight, we don’t thrive individually or collectively. We don’t repair relationships, reckon with our beliefs, or restore peace.

I share more about the ghosts in a new episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Way. You can listen to it on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

Let’s review. 

1. The Ghost of the Ground

The Ghost of the Ground is the ghost that anchors you to the proverbial floor or convinces you to settle for something beneath your ability. It’s the ghost that magnifies every mistake and miscalculation and nullifies and minimizes your victories, severely undermining your confidence. For example, if you try something new and don’t achieve the desired outcome (fall down), the Ghost of the Ground will discourage you from trying again. It will constantly convince you that you don’t have the ability, talent, expertise, or resources to achieve your desired goals or make life-expanding decisions. And when you try again, it will find quick ways to sabotage your efforts and dash your hopes.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Ground is hard to detect, especially when you elevate logic and data over your intuition and faith.  So, pay attention to how you move in your world. Focus and be intentional about your goals. Get wisdom and feedback from people who want you to win! Why? The Ghost of the Ground is a sneaky ghost that tries to dismantle your resolve and tenacity; it will find underhanded ways to discourage you.

Truth: There is no such thing as failure. Always remember that if you DON’T get the outcome you want, you will always get the lesson you need.

Wisdom: The enemy plants doubt seeds in places God wants us to grow the most – LaTonya Benson.

Action:

• Consider how you view “failure.” Do you define failure as a stepping stone or a tombstone?
• Determine if you are not starting your business, getting married, getting divorced, moving to a new city, going back to school, or starting your non-profit because you are scared of failing. Be honest with yourself so you can create an actionable plan.
• Identify where you are vulnerable and determine why.
• Remember: Failure is an experience or event, but it is NEVER your identity. So don’t let the Ghost of the Ground prevent you from getting up and starting over again, again and again. You can restart as many times as needed because success and self-discovery are processes of starts and stops.
•  Identify where you “fell down” and hire support so you won’t fall in the same spot again.

2. The Ghost of Glory

The Ghost of Glory thrives on external validation. It yearns for applause, accolades, and affirmation from the crowd and will have you hustling to be seen,  heard, and known.

Since it fears being insignificant, it causes you to compromise your own fulfillment, health, and wellness to achieve or maintain a cultural definition of success. And you already know that achieving goals that are not your own leaves you feeling resentful, empty, lost, and frustrated.

Action: 

• Identify what you want and why you want it.
• Measure success by your own standards.
• Identify why you crave applause and admiration from others and address it.
• Identify the price you pay for staying in a position or holding on to a belief that no longer supports you.
• Make a vision for every aspect of your life and ensure it is broad enough to accommodate growth, peace, and joy.

Wisdom: Never choose applause over authenticity. Authenticity provides courage, clarity, and self-trust to live on your own terms.

3. The Ghost of Greed

The Ghost Of Greed always craves more. And let’s be honest: the Ghost of Greed is pervasive in our culture. From social media to political perspectives, we are encouraged to grab more—more wealth, more power, more land, more sex, and more control. MORE! MORE! MORE! And we are not only encouraged to grab MORE, but we are also encouraged to grab MORE FOR ME and MINE….as if everyone else’ needs and inalienable rights are irrelevant.

Instead of satisfaction and sufficiency, this ghost thrives on the perception of scarcity and the lust for dominance. And no matter how much you achieve, it will compel you to accumulate, grab, steal, manipulate, lie, exploit, justify, or coerce to acquire, hoard, or seize MORE….even at the expense of others.

Most alarming is that the Ghost of Greed doesn’t honor boundaries or ethics; it has no moral compass or social conscience. It wants what it wants, even if it violates the law, robs a person of dignity, or destroys communities.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of Greed also has an insatiable political appetite. Just look around the globe. There are many examples of how the Ghost of Greed threatens the quality of our lives, robs developing countries of their natural resources, and threatens global alliances. This ghost loves to dominate, disenfranchise, and destroy. It promotes personal avarice over communal advancement.

Action: 

• Determine what’s enough and why it’s enough.
• Determine what’s driving your desire for MORE.
•  Shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance by listing what you genuinely need to be happy and fulfilled.
•  Identify what you were taught about money, power, and control. And then determine how those childhood lessons serve who you are today.
• Explore your relationship between external accumulation and inner alignment.
• Identify your values and explore how your values align with peace and justice.
• Examine how your country and communities treat other countries and communities. Identify what drives the treatment or mistreatment.
• Evaluate if MORE of something is adding or subtracting from your life and the lives of others.

4. The Ghost of the Group

The Ghost of the Group pressures you to conform, to fit in, and to follow societal expectations—even if it means abandoning your individuality and truth. This ghost can be emotionally harmful because it demands self-editing, self-erasure, self-abandonment, and self-denial. It uses the fear of exclusion, judgment, and rejection as tools to control what you say, do, and believe.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Group is extremely deceptive and calculating. It will make you accommodate, tolerate, and protect injustice, oppression, and abuse for group membership. It will also make you act and vote against your best interests in exchange for group acceptance—acceptance that is frequently empty, conditional, and manipulative at best.

Action: 

• Understand who you are and embrace your uniqueness.
• Determine your own path. Cultivate the inner strength to follow your own conscience and not the crowd.
• Challenge outdated cultural scripts or gender paradigms to create space for you to be who you are.
•  Find strength and joy in your individuality and be willing to stand apart from the crowd.
• Surround yourself with people who don’t expect you to “lie to live”  or slowly die in exchange for a provisional connection.
• Hire a coach, get a mentor, or enlist a healer because leaving controlling groups can be complex without support.

5. The Ghost of Gossip

The Ghost of Gossip is tricky because it amplifies your anxieties about being talked about. It exploits your fears of public attack and criticism, leading you to undermine your own efforts, conceal your truth, and abandon your dreams. Since it convinces you to focus on the judgment of others more than the whispers from your soul, it makes you a prisoner of public opinion.

Here is some truth: You can’t control lies, gossip, or rumors. People will always comment about things they don’t know or don’t understand. And if people are jealous of you or threatened by you, they will constantly create lies to ruin your reputation.

Remember, gossip feels personal, but it’s pathological because it reveals the hearts and minds of unhealed, toxic, and vindictive people.

So, move with power, conviction, and authority, knowing that people who talk about you are usually not doing enough in their own lives that are newsworthy or note-worthy.

Action: 

• Know who you are and have a strong sense of self-worth.
• Let your authenticity and accomplishments speak for themselves.
• Don’t waste your energy and time convincing people that the lies are untrue. People will believe what they want to believe.
• Don’t fear rumors. You can’t do anything to stop them, so live your values, trusting that the people you want in your life will see beyond the lies.
• Don’t share your secrets with unhealed or jealous people. Both types of people can’t be trusted with their own lives, and they can’t be trusted with sensitive aspects of your life, either.

Ghosts! Click here to listen to the podcast.

Confronting your ghosts isn’t easy. But as you learn to identify and challenge each ghost, you will experience greater freedom and joy….. to BE who you were born to be….and will STOP settling for what the ghosts are convincing you to be.

I look forward to exploring the ghosts in greater detail in my upcoming workshop called NOW WHAT!  It’s happening in December, so be on the lookout for additional information.

In the meantime, email me and et me know what ghosts most resonate with you and what you do to confront them.

Also, please share this message with someone who is dealing with ghosts. It may be just what they need to make more soul-nourishing, courageous decisions.

Blessings to you!

SharRon