There are certain questions that quietly follow us throughout life.

Should I take the job?

Should I leave?

Should I write the book?

Should I start over?

Should I finally do the thing I’ve been thinking about for years?

Most of us assume those questions are answered by confidence. We tell ourselves, When I’m more certain… When I’m less afraid… When I know this is the right decision… then I’ll move.

For many years, I believed that too.

Looking back over my life, however, I’ve realized that almost every meaningful decision I’ve ever made began somewhere else.

It began with permission.

That permission led me to marry someone my family didn’t support. It led me to become an aerobics instructor after earning my MBA and building a successful corporate career, a decision many people simply couldn’t understand. It led me into ministry, into community advocacy, into writing books, and into choosing opportunities that reflected who I was becoming rather than who others expected me to be.

On the surface, those decisions looked very different. But underneath them was the same quiet choice.

I gave myself permission.

As I reflected on those decisions, I realized they had taught me three important lessons about permission that continue to guide my life today. Click here to listen on Youtube.

1. Permission Is a Muscle That Develops

People sometimes ask how I became willing to make unconventional decisions.

The answer surprises them.

I didn’t wake up one morning courageous.

Every decision strengthened something inside of me. Every difficult conversation. Every misunderstood choice. Every season of trusting my values more than someone else’s approval added another layer of strength.

Over time, I realized I wasn’t simply making decisions.

I was developing what I now call my permissioning muscle.

Like any muscle, it grew through repetition. The more I practiced trusting myself with thoughtful, values-based decisions, the stronger that muscle became.

2. Permission Means Giving Yourself the Freedom to Be Wrong

There is another lesson permission taught me that changed how I approach life.

For years, I thought I needed certainty before I could move forward. I believed I had to know I was making the right decision before taking the first step.

Life has a way of correcting our assumptions.

Permission isn’t the same as certainty.

It isn’t a guarantee that you’ll always make the right decision. It is the willingness to give yourself the opportunity to discover what is right.

One of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself was permission to be wrong.

Not because I wanted to fail, but because I finally understood that if I refused to risk making the wrong decision, I would also refuse myself the opportunity to discover the right one.

Some of my decisions worked beautifully. Others taught me lessons I never wanted to learn. Every one of them, however, shaped the person I was becoming.

3. Confidence Wasn’t My Starting Point

When people see me speaking, writing books, leading in corporate America, serving in ministry, or coaching leaders, they often assume confidence came first.

It didn’t.

Confidence was the result, not the requirement.

Permission came first.

Each time I trusted myself enough to take one faithful step, confidence quietly grew alongside the experience. It wasn’t built in a single moment. It was built over decades of showing up, learning, adjusting, and beginning again.

That’s why I no longer wait until I feel fearless before taking action.

I’ve learned that confidence often follows the decision to begin.

So, What Permission Have You Been Withholding From Yourself?

As I think about your life, I wonder if you’ve been waiting for confidence when what you really need is permission.

Maybe it’s permission to ask a different question.

Permission to imagine another possibility.

Permission to change your mind.

Permission to become a beginner again.

Permission to rest.

Permission to dream.

Or perhaps it’s simply permission to give yourself a chance.

Because I’ve come to believe that permission isn’t about getting everything right.

It’s about trusting yourself enough to begin.

And sometimes, that’s all the courage you need for your next chapter.

Let’s Continue the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.

Which of these three lessons resonated with you the most?

• Developing your permissioning muscle.
• Giving yourself permission to be wrong.
• Realizing that confidence wasn’t your starting point.

Or perhaps there’s another lesson permission has taught you.

Share your thoughts in the comments. Your story may be the very encouragement someone else needs today.

If this reflection encouraged you, I also invite you to listen to this week’s podcast:

 Your Next Chapter Doesn’t Start With Courage. It Starts With Permission.

I’d especially love for you to join me on YouTube, where we can continue the conversation together.

Blessings,

SharRon