Sometimes, you learn more about your relationships when you are sick than when you are well.

During my 10-month health challenge, that’s precisely what I learned. After months of pretending that everything was fine, I had to be honest about what was happening to me. And what became crystal clear was that I was extremely fortunate to have folks who could accept me and sit with me when I was “raw”—scared, without makeup, doubtful, and physically weak.

Honestly, I wasn’t really surprised that my friends were so wonderful because I am extremely selective and intentional about my inner circle.  In fact, years ago, I created a framework to help me assess relationships. I call the framework the CIA Framework, which stands for Courage, Integrity, and Authenticity.

The CIA Framework was extremely helpful when I was unwell. It also showed me that courage, integrity, and authenticity could be expressed in many ways. For example, during those 10 painful months…

• Courage looked like truth-tellers who loved me enough to be honest, even when it was hard. They told me when I was not following the doctor’s orders and how I was prolonging my illness. They also reminded me I had the internal resources and medical insight to make strategic decisions about my healing journey.
• Integrity looked like consistency because my friends kept showing up when I had nothing to offer. They kept calling and texting me when I could not call them back or when I was unwilling to provide updates. They balanced honoring my boundaries while providing emotional, spiritual, and physical care.
• Authenticity looked like people who made space for the real me, not just the “strong” me. They were people who didn’t weaponize religion, guilt me into rushing my healing journey, bombard me with empty platitudes, or make cruel comments about how I looked.

Even though I was blessed to experience these traits while I was ill, the CIA framework applies to every part of our lives.  For example, courage helps you speak up at work when something is unjust. Integrity allows you to lead without compromising your values. Authenticity allows you to build businesses, relationships, and identities rooted in who you are, not who people want you to be.

My friend, the CIA Framework is not just a friendship filter; it’s a life framework to ground you and guide you so you can SOAR while experiencing soul-nourishing, life-enriching support.

Also, the CIA framework is both a mirror and a magnet. In the same way we use the CIA to evaluate others, we must use it to examine ourselves.

Why?

When we embody the traits we desire in others, we develop aligned, anchored, and wholesome friendships. And as I learned, when you have aligned friendships, you won’t have to chase support because it will find you. It will find you and be beside you in your deepest valleys, and it will celebrate loudly in your greatest victories.

I share more about the CIA Framework in the Deciding To Soar Podcast: Living Life Your Own Way. You can listen to the full episode: What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness on  Apple Podcast or YouTube.

If you have a friend who may benefit from this message, please forward it and encourage them to listen to the podcast.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your presence and your prayers.

Let’s continue to soar higher because the best is yet to come.

Blessings,

SharRon