
What My 7-Month Illness Taught Me About Joy
February 4, 2025
Have you ever found yourself waking up in the middle of the night with a gnawing question: “Is this all there is?” or “Am I living the life I was meant to live?”
If you’ve ever wrestled with these thoughts, you might be experiencing what philosophers and psychologists call a “telos crisis.”
The word “telos” comes from ancient Greek, meaning “end” or “purpose.” And a telos crisis happens when you feel disconnected from your purpose or destiny. It’s that sinking feeling that you’re off track, unfulfilled, or simply existing rather than thriving. It’s also a feeling that you are trapped by the status quo. Have you ever felt that way?
I remember vividly when my first telos crisis came knocking. On the outside, everything looked picture-perfect. The job, the relationships, the accolades — everything society says we should want or strive for – were in place. But inside, I felt hollow. I sensed I was living someone else’s dream, not my own. Most of all, I felt like I was emotionally drowning because my soul was gradually suffocating under the weight of expectations, traditions, and “shoulds.” It was a spirit-draining time in my life.
Many passion-driven, big-hearted people like YOU will also experience a telos crisis, not once but many times. Why? A telos crisis can be triggered by a career change, a health crisis, a significant loss, an empty nest, a divorce, a religious shift, or even a moment of stillness in a noisy life. The political uncertainty and polarization we’re living through in America may also exacerbate a telos crisis because chaos often stirs up deeper questions about our place in the world and the collective legacy we’re creating. So, it’s inevitable. You will face something that will transform you and provide the wisdom you need for a new chapter or stage in your life.
My current telos crisis – my 7-month health crisis – though painful, was a necessary wake-up call. It shook me out of my spiritual complacency and invited me to recalibrate, reflect, and realign my life. It made me release the weight of roles and expectations that choked my spirit so I could focus on who I was becoming in my next season. It also showed me that I needed to build different types of friendships so I could be more vulnerable, transparent, and ask for help without having my faith questioned. Whew! (I share some of my experiences in the newest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.)
So, how do you know you’re in the middle of a telos crisis? Here are some signs:
- Chronic Discontent: You’re constantly dissatisfied, even when things are objectively “fine.” Joy feels out of reach.
- Restlessness: You feel an urge to change but don’t know where to start or what to pursue.
- Numbing Behaviors: You find yourself overworking, over-eating, binge-watching, or overindulging to avoid confronting or feeling the void. (This is how I coped.)
- Questioning Your Choices: You start wondering if the life you’ve built is yours or if it’s the product of societal or familial expectations.
- Yearning for Meaning: You crave something deeper, richer, more soul-stirring than your current day-to-day grind.
Here’s the good news: A telos crisis isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. It’s a wake-up call from your soul, urging you to come home to yourself.
So, here are 5 steps to navigate through it:
1. Pause and Reflect
When you’re in the middle of a telos crisis, your instinct might be to distract yourself or power through. Resist that urge. Instead, give yourself permission to pause. Journal your thoughts, meditate, or take long walks in nature. Ask yourself, “What’s missing? What does my soul truly desire?”
2. Revisit Your Values
Often, a telos crisis stems from living out of alignment with your core values. Take some time to identify what matters most to you. Is it freedom? Connection? Creativity? Contribution? Once you know your values, you can begin to make choices that honor them.
3. Rewrite the Narrative
Many of us are living scripts that we didn’t write. Yes, it’s true. These scripts come from society, family, or past versions of ourselves. Decide to be the author of your own story or a new chapter. Ask, “What would a life that feels true to me look like?” Dream boldly. Let your imagination run wild!
4. Take Small, Courageous Steps
Significant changes don’t happen overnight. Start small. Maybe it’s signing up for that class you’ve been curious about, having an honest conversation with a loved one, or carving out 10 minutes daily to do something you love. Small steps build momentum.
5. Seek Support
Don’t go it alone. Share your journey with trusted friends, a mentor, or a coach. Success never happens in isolation, so find someone who can hold space for your exploration and encourage you as you navigate uncharted territory. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help illuminate the path forward and help you think bigger.
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My friend, you don’t have to go through the telos crisis alone. I’ve been where you are and know how overwhelming it can feel. So, connect with me. You can book a VIP session where we can explore your thoughts, clarify your vision, and strategize your next steps. Click here.
Or join my next Sister Circle, a small, intimate gathering where we will share, connect, and build a roadmap for your future. If you are interested in joining, email me at SharRon@SharRonJamison.com. We start at the end of February.
Thankfully, I am on my way to wellness. I am not there yet, but my health is improving, and my strength is returning. I am doing everything in my power to prioritize my health and engage in the healing process, even when it’s hard or when I feel extremely vulnerable. I will keep you posted on my progress.
Remember: A telos crisis isn’t something to fear. It’s your soul’s way of whispering, shouting, or sometimes shaking you awake so you can step boldly into the life you were always meant to live.
Blessings!
SharRon
P.S. If this message resonates with you, please share it with someone who may need inspiration. They might just need to be reminded that what they are experiencing is normal, natural, and enriching.
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