What needs to change?

Although I ask myself this question regularly, there’s something about the end of the year that makes me dig a little deeper to ensure that I am really happy—not fake happy or “just settling happy”—but soul happy. I constantly gauge how I feel because I want to experience the soul-enriching, soul-nourishing happiness that gives me peace, keeps me whole, and honors my deepest desires. I want to be happy, happy for REAL, which often means making changes.

About 25 years ago, I found myself at a crossroads and knew I needed to make courageous changes in my life. I was extremely unhappy; I was navigating life practically heartbroken. Spiritually, professionally, and personally, I had co-created experiences that de-prioritized my health, agency, and wholeness. And, I knew I craved something different for my life, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my chronic dissatisfaction because, for years, I had made many disempowering choices. I denied my needs, and I failed to choose ME. And unfortunately, each fear-filled, denial-based choice moved me further away from my values, voice, and vision.

As my health declined, the more terrified I became about making more poor decisions that could further disrupt my life.  I wasn’t scared about stretching beyond my comfort zone, but I was afraid of making choices that would affect my aging parents, distract me from fulfilling my divine purpose, or further jeopardize my health. But no matter how hard I prayed for direction,  I couldn’t hear God or access my own wisdom. Fear had compromised my faith and muted the whispers of my soul.  I felt lost.

To gain clarity, I developed the CLEAR Framework,  a tool to help me identify my deepest needs, wishes, and goals. I had no intention of creating a coaching tool; I only desired to create something that would help me hear my inner voice so I could follow my own path, even if it meant detouring from everything I had been taught and told to do.

The tool proved extremely helpful and eye-opening, so I wanted to share the CLEAR framework with you. So, if you feel stuck, unsure of your next step, or overwhelmed by a decision, use the CLEAR framework to clarify what changes are needed in your own life. Once you know your desires, you can navigate life with greater awareness and create more serenity, fulfillment, and joy.

C.L.E.A.R. ( Listen On YouTube or Apple Podcast)

C: Closure – Recognizing When Doors Are Closing

The C in CLEAR stands for closure. Feelings of closure are often complex, unconscious, and layered. In fact, your soul usually discerns the need for closure before your mind has words to express the quiet yearning for change.

For example, you may sense closure when you feel deep dissatisfaction with your relationships, a dwindling sense of belonging in your community, a disconnection with your faith, or a lack of passion for a job. These feelings of closure—internal calls for endings—are often a signal that you’ve outgrown your current environment and that it’s time for a change or a rebirth.

Take a moment to assess:

• Are you feeling stagnant in your career or relationships? Why?
• Do you sense that your ability to grow or to make an impact is diminishing? Why?
• How do you feel confined by policies, people, and practices? Why?
• What feels like it needs to end or be empty so you can be nourished or recharged with something new?
• What do you yearn for in this season of your life?
• What do you want to finish, or what feels completed?
• What do you no longer wish to experience or participate in?
• What needs to end so I won’t jeopardize my dignity, potential, or purpose?

Recognizing these signs of closure is not about failure; it’s about grace and growth. It’s about courageously permitting yourself to seek new spaces, relationships, and situations where you can flourish.

L: Letting Go – Releasing What No Longer Serves You

The L in CLEAR reminds us to examine what we are losing, what we have already lost, or what we need to let go of. The L requires us to reckon with the truth – our inner knowing – and honor what we feel inside our souls, know in our minds, and crave in our hearts.

For example, the L demands that we tell ourselves the truth if we feel we are losing confidence, passion, or self-esteem. It requires assessing if we are clinging to beliefs, identities, or narratives that no longer align with who we are or want to become.

Ask yourself:

• What mindsets or habits are holding me back? How?
• Is my current environment eroding my enthusiasm or self-worth? How?
• Are people ignoring my new identity or boundaries? Why? How could I be encouraging their resistance to who I am now?
• How is this situation honoring my integrity, destiny, or personhood?
• What meaning am I assigning to “letting go,” and how does that interpretation support my efforts?

Letting go can be difficult, but it creates space for something new and better to enter your life.

E: Erasure – Reclaiming Your Authenticity

The E in CLEAR stands for erasure. Erasure is when we feel forced to suppress or abandon parts of ourselves to fit into specific spaces or to have access to certain groups. This could mean adapting to workplace cultures, relationships, or environments that demand assimilation at the expense of our authenticity. For some groups, it can mean code-switching, masking, or denouncing your identity in exchange for group membership.

Consider:

• Where and how are you expected to have historical or cultural “amnesia” to participate or advance in specific spaces?
• Are you erasing aspects of your identity to be accepted by your job or co-workers?
• Do you feel you’re shrinking yourself to make others comfortable with your expertise, talents, success, or beliefs?
• Are you abandoning your truth for traditions or organizational norms?
• How are you compromising your integrity for inclusion?
• Are you doubting, discounting, or dismantling yourself for fear of exclusion or retaliation?

Chronic erasure can erode your soul, undermine your sense of freedom,  and destroy your sense of self.  However, making changes to reclaim and celebrate your identity and honor your uniqueness ensures you stay healthy and whole.  And, when you reclaim who you are, you RISE! You make life-expanding, soul-nourishing, and dignity-affirming decisions to support your wholeness, wellness, and well-being.

A: Anger – Listening to What Frustrates You

The A in CLEAR stands for anger. Anger is often a sign that something we deeply value—our passions, purpose, or priorities—is being neglected. Chronic anger, which can manifest as frustration or resentment, could indicate that a situation or relationship no longer aligns with our values or goals. Even though you may want to ignore it, anger is a valuable emotion that informs us that we must change to align with our deepest values and needs.

Reflect on:

• Where do I feel persistent anger, alienation, or irritation?
• Why and where do I feel powerless or invisible?
• How is anger showing up in my body?
• Where am I constantly critiquing something, and why?
• Is this anger signaling unmet needs or neglected priorities at home?
• Is anger fueling me or fooling me? How does it affect my behavior?

Again….never ignore anger. Instead, use it to identify your truth and as a catalyst for change, guiding you toward environments that respect your personhood and nurture your passions.

R: Rest – Seeking Peace and Safety

Finally, the R in CLEAR stands for rest. Deep emotional, physical, and spiritual rest comes when we feel safe, valued, and settled. If confusion, chaos, or a lack of safety pervades your environment, you won’t rest. You will also feel constantly exhausted if you have to continually act, compromise, or over-give in exchange for access or acceptance.   So, determine if you feel rested or at ease. If not, a change might be needed.

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel peace and rest in my current situation?
• Where do I feel taxed, troubled, twisted, and constantly tested?
• Is this a place or a relationship where I can thrive without sacrificing my well-being and wholeness?
• Do I feel drained at certain places, events, or groups?
• Do I have to be high alert at work or watch my back when engaging with certain people?
• Do I have to hide my intentions, conceal my motives, or minimize my goals with certain groups?
• Is this situation affecting my ability to sleep?

You deserve environments and relationships where you can recharge and feel at ease. Remember, rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for a fulfilling life.

Get CLEAR! (listen here)

Before you make another decision, get clear. And use the CLEAR framework because it isn’t just a guide for major life decisions—it’s a way to honor yourself and your needs. (listen here on YouTube)

So, before the new year:

1. Take a moment to reflect on your current situation (work, relationships, faith, projects).
2. Use each CLEAR principle as a lens to evaluate where you are and what changes might be needed.
3. Create a plan to address areas where you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or diminished.
4. Find people who can support you on your journey and remind you of your brilliance.

Remember, change isn’t about abandoning what’s familiar; it’s about stepping into what’s more fulfilling.

I also look forward to sharing more about CLEAR on Jan. 18th in the NOW What Retreat. Be on the lookout for registration information.

Thanks for reading and listening to the Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast.

Also, please reply to this message and let me know your thoughts.

Blessings!

SharRon

* I have been asked how you can support my work. I would love to work with you. However, I also love coffee and tea.  Click here.