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When An Election Hurts Your Heart

December 5, 2024


The recent election and the entire electoral process were extremely painful for many people. Not only did the results fill some with dread, but the outcomes also instilled fear and a genuine concern about the state of our democracy.  Many people, especially people who have been historically marginalized, told me that the outcome of the presidential election was incredibly unsettling, and they feared for their safety, their livelihoods, and their freedom to exist in a world that demonizes their very presence.  It was and continues to be a scary time.

The election and the mean-spirited campaigns were gut-wrenching for me, too. I felt disgusted, enraged, and appalled at the tactics used to manipulate, malign, and exploit people. I was even more saddened that some people believed the divisive rhetoric and harmful lies without validation, research, or corroboration. If information was shared on social media, it was believed to be accurate. If a politician shared “facts,”  it was accepted that the “facts” were verified. If a clergyperson shared a religious perspective, some people believe it was a message directly from God.

Witnessing the entire process was so maddening that I had to take a break – a time out from the foolishness. And so, for weeks,  I avoided the media to protect my spirit and soul from the vicious mud-slinging, myth-making, victim-blaming, name-calling, and dog-whistling that spewed a level of vitriol that I believe have irrevocably fractured relationships and alliances.  I also temporarily disconnected from frazzled and angry friends in order to find space in my heart for optimism, hope, and faith.  I didn’t want to abandon anyone because I cared deeply about their feelings. But I knew I had to stabilize myself because the stakes were too high to surrender to fear, hopelessness, and feelings of defeat. I also knew I needed to stay anchored in my spiritual beliefs in order to protect myself from the constant anxiety that was threatening to swallow me whole. Despite the social upheaval and the toxic political climate, I had to remain open, creative, and courageous. As a single, middle-aged Black woman, I didn’t have the luxury of feeling disempowered, worried, or apathetic.  Like many of you, I had to muster up the strength to make life-affirming, soul-nourishing decisions that honored my soul, instilled hope, and fostered healing. And my decisions had to be strategic because many self-appointed powerbrokers and gatekeepers were no longer trying to hide their disdain for specific communities and identities. It felt as if the election results emboldened them to be MORE offensive, oppressive, and cruel.

Shifting my perspective to see the power of possibility amid so much malice and disrespect wasn’t easy. However, in these trying moments, I reflected on the invaluable wisdom I learned from my elders and ancestors to inspire and direct me. I recalled the lessons they taught me that anchored them through the horrors of enslavement, segregation, Jim Crow, redlining, police brutality, political abuse, and social erasure.  I remembered the strength of their deep faith and resolve that equipped and empowered them to build schools, businesses, hospitals, churches, families, and legacies with limited resources and little protection. I remembered them telling me that my ancestors’ wisdom was stored in my bones, cultivated through my experiences, and strengthened through adversity. I remembered. Thank God, I remembered!

The knowledge and timeless insights I learned from my elders decades ago reminded me that no election, challenge, or person can undermine the calling on our lives. Their words of wisdom also reaffirmed that no politician or policy can undermine God’s plan for humanity if enough God-inspired, justice-minded, faith-filled people work together to effect change.

I pray these lessons inspire you as they encouraged me. I hope they remind you that you can SOAR higher than any policy, law, or tradition that tries to block, dismantle, or dishonor you. And most of all, I hope you are so inspired that you continue to inspire others to live beyond the suffocating status quo and stretch beyond social limitations so they can live fully, truthfully and peacefully.

Here are the lessons I shared on the podcast Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.  You can listen on YouTube or Apple and read below.

Elder: If It Didn’t Stop Us, It Won’t Stop You

History is filled with stories of resilience. Our ancestors faced insurmountable challenges—enslavement, displacement, wars, and systemic oppression. Yet, they pressed forward through every storm, building families, schools,  cultures, and legacies. They survived with unwavering determination, proving that obstacles, no matter how towering, are not permanent barriers but mere stepping stones to a greater destiny. When the world tried to silence their voices, they sang louder. When the world tried to erase them, they let their lights shine brighter.  When opportunities seemed scarce, they created something from nothing. Their endurance is a testament to the power of persistence.

Today, that same resilience flows through you and me. Our challenges may differ, but the weight of oppression is not unfamiliar to our spirits.  So,  confront setbacks, and remember the courage of those who came before you. Our elders thrived under laws and policies designed to break them, yet they soared. Their story is our inheritance. Their strength is our foundation. Their legacy is our leverage. Whatever you’re up against, know that it didn’t stop your ancestors and won’t stop you.

Elder: The Path for You May Be Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes, the answers we seek are right in front of us, yet we miss them because doubt, distraction, or societal expectations blind us. But because what we seek is also seeking us, we must slow down and pay attention to what’s happening around us and within us. We must pay close attention to the whispers of our intuition, the wisdom of our bodies, and the nudges of our curiosity. Even if what we feel or sense is not traditional or familiar, we must move in the direction of our spirit to discover and claim our paths.

My elders also reminded me that the clarity you long for isn’t always about discovering something entirely new; sometimes, it’s about recognizing what’s already within your reach and activating wisdom you already know. They always advised me to lean into my gifts, passions, or experiences that others overlook, minimize, or criticize. They told me that spiritual messages are sometimes disguised as”mess” and that I MUST maintain an open heart, spirit, and mind to SEE and SENSE God.

My friend, look! Look beyond what you see with your eyes and see with your heart. Let your spiritual vision grab God’s vision. Your path is right before you; it’s been there for days or decades.

Elder: Pick Your Own Tools to Sow the Land

Just as farmers choose tools suited to their soil, you must decide what tools work best for your unique journey. Why? God made you special, so a one-size-fits-all approach won’t help you achieve your goals or fulfill your destiny.  Remember, what works for someone else may not fit your vision, purpose, personality, or skill set, but that’s okay. What’s important is to be intentional about the tools you gather—whether it’s education, mentorship, prayer, or imagination—and use them creatively, courageously, and consistently to sow the seeds of your future.

Most of all, resist the pressure to conform to societal norms, cultural expectations, or artificial timelines. Your path is divinely distinct, as are the instruments, strategies, and timing you need to bring it to fruition.  So, determine what feels authentic, what aligns with your values, and what empowers you to thrive. Just as our ancestors innovated with what they had, you, too, can make memories and start cultural movements with your chosen tools.

Elder: Protect Your Dream Space Because It Holds Your Destiny

Your dreams are sacred. They are not merely aspirations; they are vital glimpses of your destiny, instructions for your future, and plans for your purpose. Yet, the world tries to infect your mind and undermine your ability to hold onto your dreams. That’s why creating a mental and emotional sanctuary for your dreams is crucial, particularly in a world that often prioritizes indoctrination over critical thinking, respectful discussion, and genuine inquiry. By nurturing this sanctuary, you empower yourself to challenge the status quo and cultivate the life you truly desire.

So, be mindful of what you allow into your dream space. Surround yourself with people who believe in your vision, believe in you, and challenge you to grow. Say no to influences that plant seeds of doubt, mediocrity, or fear in your heart and mind. Remember that your dreams preview what’s possible in your life, so guard them because they are the bridge to your destiny.

Elder: Who You Are Is Your Strength, Especially in Adversity

During political struggle, it can be tempting to compromise your integrity or conceal your true identity. And even though suppressing who you are or going with the flow may make your life feel initially easier, erasing your identity strips you of your superpowers and self-respect.  Abandoning your unique perspective, skills, and resilience leaves you without the internal infrastructure YOU NEED to withstand adversity and attacks.

So, lean into your identity, especially when life feels uncertain. Your heritage, values, and personal journey are not just part of your story—they are the source of your strength and the foundation of your faith. Both will sustain you in the most trying moments and ensure you are anchored in the God above you and connected to the God within you.

Elder: There Is a Difference Between Salt and Salve

In life, you will encounter people and experiences that either act as salt or as a salve. Salt, while valuable, can sting when placed on wounds because it exposes truths, provokes discomfort, or highlights what needs healing. On the other hand, salve soothes, nurtures, and aids recovery. Both have an essential purpose in your life, and knowing when to apply each is crucial to your growth, wholeness, and well-being.

So, be discerning in how you engage with yourself and others. Tough love (the salt) is sometimes necessary to confront hard truths, but it must be balanced with compassion (the salve) to foster healing and facilitate progress. Similarly, surround yourself with people who can be both—those who challenge you to improve while supporting your journey with care and encouragement. Life demands salt and salve during times of change, and wisdom lies in knowing how to use them to elevate and not harm.

 

My friend, I hope these lessons helped you because your journey and mine—our journey—will be challenging. The next four years will stretch and challenge our nation in unprecedented ways. But just like the ancestors before us, we possess the strength to persevere, the wisdom to find our hidden path, and the courage to choose tools that align with our purpose.  Like them, we can fiercely protect our dreams and our ability to dream. Like them, we can courageously lean into our authenticity and discern the moments that call for salt or salve. Just like them….we can make it.

Over the next four years, I believe that our lives will be a testament to the power of resilience and the audacity of hope. And as our valiant story unfolds with chapters that will inspire others, we will dare to soar higher! We will be the change we need and the change we seek. We will be the visionaries, bridge-builders, wisdom-seekers, truth-tellers, and leaders who speak for the voiceless, inspire the hopeless, and renew the spiritless. We will share wisdom with others just like our ancestors and elders shared with us, and we will thrive!

We will SOAR HIGHER individually and collectively … I believe….because the best is yet to come!

Blessings!

SharRon