Skip to main content

Tag: life

Are You Willing To Lead?

You are a leader!

Do you believe that?

Last week, I started a workshop stating that everyone in the room was a leader. What was puzzling was that some folks didn’t agree with my statement.

Some shared that they didn’t feel like leaders because they didn’t have decision-making power. Others talked about titles, positions, and hierarchies as if labels and organizational charts were the only factors that determine and define leadership.

The group responses were not entirely surprising, because it’s hard to see yourself as a leader when society constantly doubts, discounts, and disrespects you. It’s also hard to appreciate and activate your sovereignty when you have been systematically marginalized because of your ability, race, class, age, body, faith, gender identity, sexual orientation, or other factors considered inferior to the “mainstream”.

So you know what I did?

I stopped the pre-planned workshop and started talking about liberatory self-leadership. Together, as a loving group, we talked about America’s complex history, the burden of stereotypes, and the heaviness of discrimination.

People shared how difficult it was to speak up and to make choices in systems that squash their voices and challenge their resolve.

It was painful to hear but powerful to see how people shared their souls, trusting that there was space for their opinions and lived experiences.

During the meeting-turn-healing-gathering, I shared information about the power of agency and choice — a choice to be an example, the choice to follow your conscience, the agency to explore options, the agency to resist tradition, and the choice to have faith.

I also shared how self-leadership ensures that you don’t deny your own lived reality, dilute your dreams, or unconsciously accept oppression.

And, I encouraged the audience to research and learn history to challenge the historical lies that deny their contributions to American culture. When you know the truth about who you are and your ancestors, you can reclaim the power and pride of your heritage. And then you can stand boldly in your divinity, dignity, and humanity.

Whew! We went all the way there!

The workshop was an engaging, healing, and transformative experience. And to every person who bravely shared their heart, THANK YOU! Your willingness to be vulnerable and honest elevated everyone in the room.

So, today, I want to ask you that question. What does self-leadership mean to you?

To me, leading myself is….

  •  About being courageous enough to maintain my beliefs and values while still being open to learning, unlearning, and relearning.
  • About opposing popular opinions that contradict my values, defying cultural norms, and reimagining success while prioritizing my wholeness.
  • About pursuing my dreams, knowing that my milestones and mistakes are equally ordered to teach me on my journey.
  • About acknowledging my unique abilities and skills while recognizing that joining forces with like-minded people and building communities is wise and helpful.
  •   About honoring the ideas, ideologies, and identities of others while also honoring my own.
  •  About leaving anything and anyone that blocks my growth, denies my self-expression, and undermines my integrity.

TRUTH: Self-leadership is the key to living a life that honors your sacred call, respects your unique identity, and gives you the power to create a peaceful life. And it ensures that your choices, divinity, and humanity are not up for debate!

Reply to this message and let me know what self-leadership means to you. Also, let me know if you would like to attend a similar workshop.

My prayer for you and me is that we embrace and embody our innate leadership, so we never feel forced to be something we don’t want to be.

Have a great week!

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Only You Know What’s Best For You

So often, we believe we can only feel and think one way about a specific topic. We frequently feel bullied to choose between this or that, as if there are only two options to consider.

But life often exists in the grey; life is rarely black or white. There are few absolutes.

Yes, absolutes are non-negotiable; we must honor humanity, ensure dignity, and protect freedom.

However, most of life’s questions are full of nuances, complexities, and contradictions that challenge us to think deeply about our values. And those are the questions and decisions that don’t fit neatly into our cultural conditioning, religious doctrines, and social norms. The decisions that affect us the most are never this or that; they may be both or neither.

Bottom line: Don’t get bullied by binaries.

You can have multiple opinions, concerns, and feelings about one topic.

So, question everything and allow yourself to have mixed feelings about something until you know what is true for you.

Create space in your mind and expand the love in your heart to hold tension and dichotomies.

Most of all, trust and test your own inner knowledge because YOU and only you know what’s best for you.

So, this week, here are some journal prompts to help you get clear on your goals and needs.

Journal Prompts:

  • What feels suitable for me in this season of my life?
  • What nourishes my soul and stimulates my mind?
  • How does staying in an unfulfilling career or relationship affect me?
  • How does changing my routines help me rest, think, or heal?
  • Where do I need to think broadly about my life?
  • Why am I not advocating for myself at work or at home?
  • Who am I becoming, and why?
  • What could I do if I expanded my understanding of “truth?”
  • How would updating my definition of success create more capacity in my life?

Spend some time asking yourself these critical questions. And then, be sure to sign up for the free I Dare To Be Me Virtual Open House to get additional insight about creating a life that honors your deepest needs.

Don’t be bullied. You are too amazing to be shoved into a belief system that suppresses your soul.

Blessings!

SharRon

What Is Your Life Saying To You?

Have you ever wondered how you would look, live and love if you did most of what you promised yourself you would do?

During my weekly inventory, I think about my life. I examine my choices, thoughts, actions, and comments to assess if my life resembles and reflects the promises I made to myself and honors the commitments I made to others.

Sometimes I feel proud that my behavior aligns with my commitments. But sometimes, I realize that there are gaps, and the gaps are usually around how I treat myself and how I treat my “calling.” Sometimes I also realize that I am giving too much of myself to people and places not aligned with my destiny, jeopardizing my wholeness and health.

Over the last few months, I have realized that many leaders, visionaries, and change agents also feel their lives are not aligned with their deepest desires or their most urgent needs. Many have shared that they feel burdened by responsibilities or exhausted by politics, competing priorities, and challenging people.

Truth: Collective exhaustion and misalignment take a toll on our souls. It distracts people – people like you and me who deeply care about the world – from creating the change we want and need to see in our communities. Weariness also prevents us from honoring and caring for spirits, bodies, and loved ones.

So, this week, take a step back and review your life to ensure you are directing your energy and efforts to the right causes, values, and systems.

Inspect your relationships. Examine your career, your calling, or your life’s work. Analyze your progress, proficiency, and potential to determine if your behavior aligns with your soul’s desires and goals.

Then, look in the mirror. Glance over your body. Reflect on your heart. Connect with your soul. Survey the rooms in your house. Then honestly (without judgment), ask yourself: is my life lying to me about what I care about, or am I lying about my life?

My elders used to say that ” talking and telling ain’t the same thing.” Translation: What you say is one thing. What you do is something else.

So, today, ask yourself: What is my mouth saying that I am NOT doing? How can I get more in alignment with my truth? What unconscious thoughts or fears are getting in my way? How are my goals and actions aligned with my values? Where can I be more courageous in my decision-making and bridge-building?

When your life reflects the core of who you are, you will thrive! You will feel invigorated, empowered, and fulfilled. And when you are happy, aligned, and rested, you will create the changes you want to see in the world.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we speak and work for the collective good while honoring our deepest individual needs. That way, our mouths will talk, and our lives with honestly tell.

Blessings!

SharRon

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

P.S. Are you receiving my newsletter? Be sure to sign up to be the first to learn about upcoming programs, resources, and retreats. Click here.

Life Is Just A Big Experiment!

YOU GET TO EXPERIMENT!

Yes, you get to experiment because life is just one big experiment.

You don’t need to know everything to move forward, and you don’t have to hustle or manipulate people to get what you want.

If you know …

  • Your values
  • Your needs
  • Your strengths
  • Your desires
  • Your needs
  • Your non-negotiables
  • Your qualities
  • Your standards
  • Your deepest truths
  • Your purpose or if you are awakening to your purpose

You know enough to move toward your dreams and goals.

Yes, you do!

Your history, innate abilities, intuition, and hopes always provide clues to guide you to everything you need to support your highest good.

So, take an inventory of what you already know.

And instead of exhausting yourself by doing things that don’t work or didn’t work because they didn’t align with your list, take a different approach.

Lean into curiosity.

Consider new ideas.

Have stimulating conversations.

Pay attention to how something feels in your body.

Start, pause, and pivot as many times as you need to — experiment.

Give yourself all the space you need to explore.

Permit yourself to be open, honest, vulnerable, and hopeful.

Rest. Dream. Imagine.

And gradually, your answers will appear.

Happy experimenting.

Blessings!

SharRon

September Is the Month Of Completion

Happy September!

It’s the 9th month, and the number 9 symbolizes completion. For me, that’s exciting because it reminds me that I have fulfilled an important stage in my life and that I am ready for something new.

But even though embarking on something new sounds exciting, it can also feel daunting, especially when you are not accustomed to reflecting on your own needs, dreams, and mission.

So, how do you start something new?

First, by being honest with yourself about the quality of your life and discerning if its current structure serves your greatest good… YOUR truth.

Second, by accepting that your truth may have changed because you have grown from an experience, awakened to a new revelation, or healed from an old wound.

Third, by accepting that your new truth may be controversial, confrontational, and contradictory to the status quo. Yes, your new truth may ruffle a few feathers.

Finally, by accepting that your new truth requires new choices and actions because it’s challenging to make life-expanding moves with an old mindset.

So, if you are ready to embark on something new – something bigger, better, and bolder – consider these four critical pillars. And if you need any more motivation to launch out into something new, consider the following benefits:

Your truth will ensure that you stay well, stay whole, and feel worthy of everything you desire and deserve.

Your truth will safeguard you from succumbing to societal narratives, political lies, generational trauma, or gender norms that will stunt your growth or steal your joy.

Your truth will keep you aligned with your heart, help you stay attuned to your inner compass, and develop you toward the highest version of yourself.

Your truth will ensure that you don’t downplay your gifts or use your strengths in self-sabotaging ways.

Most of all, your truth will soften you so you feel safe, seen, and “surrendered” to your higher calling without constant compromise, unproductive comparison, and undue labor.

Essentially, your truth will anchor and prevent you from jeopardizing your dreams, which so many of us do when we prioritize the needs of others over our own.

As a coach and sojourner, I am exploring and considering some critical questions to help me discover and reclaim MORE of my truth. In this season of my life, I want to deeply connect with my TRUTH to expand my capacity to stay open to possibility, follow my inner compass, and welcome divine connections. Maybe these questions will support you if you are also in a season of self-discovery and self-activation.

DareTo Soar Higher Questions:

  • Where in my life am I pretending to be something I am not?
  • Where am I erasing or diluting myself to fit into spaces, and why?
  • What lights me up and lightens my load?
  • What tickles my fancy and makes me feel free?
  • What increases my belief in myself and in a greater power?
  • How can I become more sovereign and less swayed by the opinions, triggers, and expectations of others?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • Where do I need to give myself more permission to explore and execute?
  • Why do I conform and comply with practices or beliefs that don’t align with my divine path?
  • Where am I giving unappreciated labor and love, and why?
  • Where am I forfeiting my integrity, dignity, and mental health?

How do I know if I am being called to do something if I don’t have experience doing it?

Great questions, right?

I know that following your truth will activate you and help you contribute something magical to the world. And the best news is when you follow your truth, you will feel less burdened and obligated to make others happy, and that’s freedom.

So, do yourself a favor. Ask yourself questions, nurture your needs, own your power, pursue your ambition, speak with integrity, and rest your body.  Let your truth bring you the fulfillment you crave and the freedom you deeply desire. Because as all know, the TRUTH will set you free.

Blessings!

What Do You Feel Called To Do?

In a world that is reeling from so much pain, grief, and suffering, staying emotionally well and feeling safe are not easy feats. It takes discipline and intention to stay whole and joyful these days.

I know I haven’t shared a newsletter in a few weeks or engaged much on social media. And you know what? I missed sharing my thoughts with you and receiving your responses.

The good news is …. I have been speaking a lot and conducting sister circles for Black History Month and Women’s Month. It’s been an exhilarating time.

Yet, as the world celebrates both months, I find myself questioning if I am doing MY work, not just good work, MY work.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy celebrating and honoring the contributions of Black Americans and women. The well-deserved recognition is affirming and long overdue.

But honestly, as a Black woman, both months create rumblings in my soul because celebrating brave pioneers and trailblazers makes me wonder if I am truly living my life to the fullest. It makes me wonder if I am being as courageous as I need to be to create a legacy. It makes me examine if I am fearlessly living and embodying my truth. (I don’t compare my life with others; I question if I am living out loud and in alignment with my divine call.)

What I know for sure…. I am not alone. 

Many people are also trying to recover and remember the real truth of who they are. You know….those deeply-rooted truths that our souls and hearts know, but our minds can’t seem to name, describe, and process yet.

After speaking to thousands of people, I realize many people are delving deep into their souls, trying to excavate the truth or awaken to the truths that have been buried to accommodate the masses.

Many people are shoveling through the “shoulds” trying to find meaning and bring balance to their lives.

Others are disconnecting from reality because the prospect of “truth” somehow contradicts what they need to assuage their fears, justify their behavior, or reclaim their sovereignty.

That’s why it is critical that we consistently ask ourselves… what am I called to do NOW? Now! What’s the truth for me today? What do I want to leave behind to help others on this journey called life?

Yes, you had plans and goals, but do those plans still resonate with who we are NOW and who you feel destined to become?

So, as you are reading this message….. What do you feel called to do? What will your legacy be? What will you gift to the next generation?

Whatever it is, I am sure that what you are being called to do is beyond the societal SHOULDs that are stopping you from being fully alive, spiritually awake, and authentically YOU!

The SHOULDS are probably undermining your legacy.

To me, legacy means providing generational gifts (traditions, thoughts, money, experiences, knowledge, beliefs) that prepare people for greatness. It means ensuring that our loved ones are not starting from ground zero again.

That’s what I am thinking about, and I would love for us to think about that together because collective wisdom is powerful. Joining hearts and heads with diverse people allows us to come together and to get closer to the truth of who we are. And then, we can build our individual and collective legacies to support generations to come.

If you feel called to talk about SHOULDS and how they affect your ability to build a legacy, join me on Thursday, March 24th via Zoom at 8 pm EST. It’s free.

Let’s gather together and share our thoughts. Here’s the link to register.

Hope to see you there!

SharRon