Author: SharRon Jamison

IGNORE the Naysayers!

If you want to pursue your destiny, one skill that you must develop and strengthen is the skill of IGNORING the naysayers.

 

Yes, ignoring the comments and opinions of people who don’t care about you, your gift, or your life’s calling is a critical skill!

 

Just for the record, ignoring people does not mean that you are rude or arrogant. Ignoring people means you are focused, disciplined, and committed to being the highest version of yourself.

 

It means that you are dedicated to executing your vision with excellence, greatness, and integrity.

 

My friend, let’s be honest. You already wrestle with your own inner demons and insecurities. You are constantly challenging oppressive narratives that undermine your confidence and feelings of worthiness.  So why invite more demons into your space and spirit by listening to people who don’t care about you, who don’t share your values, and who don’t have their own dreams.

 

Goal: Develop your ability to IGNORE statements that keep you stuck, scared, silent, sidetracked, shipwrecked, shallow, stale, sick, and salty.

 

Trust me; your ability to IGNORE people and their negative comments will serve and support you well as you pursue your dreams.

 

If you want more encouragement to ignore the naysayers, stay tuned. “You Can Depend On You” will launch soon.

 

Make sure you join my mailing list to learn more. Click here.

 

Blessings,

 

SharRon!

Your Life Will Teach You Where To Go!

As a child, my elders told me that if you pay attention to your life, it will teach you what you need to know, where you need to grow, and where you need to go.

I never really thought much about that lesson, but over this last year, life has taught me many lessons about what I should be and should not be doing. If you are a big-hearted, socially aware person, you probably feel that life has taught you a lot during the last 18 months, too.

So this year, as I do every year around my birthday, I reflect on the critical lessons I learned during the twelve preceding months. It’s an understatement to say that this year the lessons were insightful and profound. Living amid a global pandemic, dealing with constant civil unrest, dealing with racial reckoning, and enduring an international quarantine encouraged me to reflect deeply about how I was living, loving, and leading.

So, during this week, I invite you to think about the critical lessons you learned in 2020, and what lessons you are learning today. I have provided a few prompts for you.

  • How did you learn to create more love, more peace, and more joy in your life amid the chaos?
  • What were the major lessons that you had to unlearn and relearn to reclaim harmony, restore relationships, and reimagine how you engage the world?
  • Where in your life are you marginalizing, minimizing, trivializing, and stigmatizing your own vision, your own goals, and your own desires?
  • Where in your life are you still tied to patterns and perspectives that are sabotaging your growth?
  • How can you better embrace your worthiness, commit to more self-care, and connect more profoundly with your loved ones?

The answers to these questions may require that you consciously reset your priorities, rethink your childhood, and create new environments so you can flourish and thrive. Your answers may even require you to take some risks and make new investments in yourself and others.

Even though a bit chaotic, this season offers enormous possibilities. And if you walk with courage, be resilient, and envision wholeness for yourself and others, you will launch into a new dimension of joy.

Wishing you well as you Dare To Soar HIGHER!

Blessings,

SharRon

*P.S. Sign up for my newsletter to get access to my private podcast. Click here.

If You Can’t Trust Yourself, Trust Your Track Record

As you start a new month, I have a hard question for you.

Have you ever wanted to go for a promotion or start a business but felt inadequate?

Have ever felt you were not qualified enough, did not have the right degree, and didn’t have the right connections to pursue your dreams?

I have. Early in my career, I would interview for job after job, but never land the promotions I desired and earned.

I grew really frustrated because I knew that the folks who landed the positions were not more skilled or educated than I was. Heck, I even trained some of them.

Of course, there were many factors working against me. I was a young, Black woman and the biopharmaceutical industry was not ready to embrace diversity, especially without a fight.

After being looked over and picked apart, I told my father that I was leaving corporate America. But I also admitted that I feared failing as an entrepreneur.

He said, “SharRon, if you can’t trust yourself, trust your track record.”

Whew.. that statement was the jolt I needed to help me remember all the successes that shaped my career. That one brief statement encouraged me to take a jog down memory lane and I realized I had shattered many glass ceilings, smashed a few paradigms, and kicked in numerous closets. Yes, I had a track record of success.

Why is it important to review your track record? 

As you pursue your purpose, you will be forced to take some risks. And when you do, it’s always helpful to have a few people to remind you of your mastery, abilities, and capacity to overcome obstacles. It’s also extremely wise to have a strong inner core, which I define as a group of people who can help you rise to the occasion and help you resist the spirit of fear. For me, my inner core included my father.

Over the weekend, take a close inventory of your friends and determine which friends have the traits and the mentality to be in your inner core. Use the MRS framework to help you identify which friends most align with your needs, dreams, and goals. And then make some needed adjustments so you can SOAR.

I have provided a quick overview of the MRS framework for you to review.

  • M = People with whom you enjoy Meaningful Mutuality
  • R = People who help you RISE, REST, RECOVER, and RESIST
  • S = People who are Spiritually aware, awakened, and live. 

We all need people who believe in us; our friendships are critical to our calling. That’s why, in “You Can Depend On You,” I dedicate an entire module to identifying and cultivating healthy connections. If you are going to become the highest version of yourself, gather and engage with people who can share their wisdom, time, and talent with you. Find a great core for your calling!

Remember, you can depend on yourself to foster relationships with helpful, faithful folks. Even if you made some poor selections in the past, as I did, you can still trust yourself to make positive “friend” choices today.

In my newest book, Deciding To Soar 2:Unwrapping Your Purpose, I dedicate 10 chapters on the topic of friendships. Be sure to order it today, and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

SharRon

 

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption:  All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope. 

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon

Happiness = Follow the Light, Embrace Love, and Demand Your Liberation

Last weekend was a celebratory weekend and I hope you enjoyed the festivities.

First, we celebrated Juneteenth, a glorious holiday to celebrate liberation. Even though Juneteenth has been celebrated for over 100 years in the Black community, this year, the federal government finally established it as a national holiday to commemorate the emancipation of enslaved people, my ancestors. Even though there is so much more work to do before all people are free, I enjoyed the gatherings.

We celebrated Father’s Day, which was a wonderful holiday to honor the men in our lives – fathers and our father figures. However, I also want to acknowledge that Father’s Day is not a day of celebration for everyone. For some, it is a painful reminder of the father they never knew or had.

And then there is the summer solstice which announced that summer is here! Many cultures celebrate the summer solstice because it symbolizes light. It’s a reminder that we carry big potential, that we are passionate, and that we are action-takers. The summer solstice is also about letting go of what no longer serves your highest good. It’s an exciting time!

When you combine the power of these 3 events, we are reminded of three life-affirming messages.

  • We are reminded that we can live liberated lives.

You can live free from toxic traditions, away from cultural expectations, and outside of societal norms. When you deeply honor your needs, desires, and wishes WITHOUT external judgment, you can make value-inspired decisions to support yourself and pursue your life’s work. You can’t stop settling, stop begging, and stop yearning for what you desire and courageously pursue it. You can DARE to soar higher in how you live, move, and love. You can rewrite the rules and reimagine your life.

  •  We are reminded that we are a light and that we can shed light.

You have the right to illuminate dark places in the world by telling the truth and protesting against injustice and greed. You have the authority to illuminate dark spots in your own life so you can heal old wounds and address old secrets that keep you cloaked in shame. You have permission to stop hiding your talents, cultivate your gifts, access your wisdom, and showcase your God-given skills. You have the authority to illuminate the lies in history books, confront the toxic myths in your families, and oppose the biased laws that govern our country. You are a light.

  • We are reminded that we deserve love, care, and emotional nourishment.

You have a right to love yourself and to give yourself the love that you didn’t receive when you were a child. You have permission to love yourself by divesting from toxic rules, toxic relationships, and toxic religions that trap you in shame and dependency. You also have the right to co-create relationships with men from a place of equality, and not succumb to patriarchy. You have a right to also support men as they divest from the same patriarchy that undermines their humanity, too.

Liberation, Light, and Love are available to you, but they are not always easy to access, especially without support.

That’s why I want to invite you to join me for “You Can Depend On You,” a life-changing, mind-stretching, culture-shifting journey to help you reclaim your authentic self so you can be who you were created to be.

So you can be your FULL self, not your public, watered-down self that betrays your soul.

Now doesn’t that sound freeing?

Can you imagine what becomes possible for you if you depend on yourself to embrace more liberation, light, and love in ways that honor your soul?

How could your life change if you courageously depended on yourself to live an honest life and not an obligated life?

The truth: You can experience a more honest, gratifying life. NO MORE Settling, Sinking, or Suffering! No more parroting, people-pleasing, and prioritizing the needs of others. No more doing anything that costs you everything, and offers nothing!

My friend, if you are interested in learning more about “You Can Depend On You”, just email info@SharRonJamison.com

Remember, you can depend on yourself to liberate yourself from the status quo, to be a light in your own life, and to love yourself fully. You have everything you need INSIDE OF YOU!

Affirm Today: I am light, I am love, and I am liberated!

Because the best is yet to come!

SharRon

Are You A Discount Diva? Are You Undervaluing Yourself?

Have you ever played yourself cheap or betrayed yourself to fit into a specific group?

I have.

In fact, 25 years ago, one of my dearest friends told me I devalued myself so much that I navigated in the world like a “discount diva.”

What? A discount diva?

Boy, I was crushed! I was not only offended by how casually she called me out, but I was also saddened because her words felt true. And because her words felt true to my soul, I felt embarrassed, stupid, and exposed.

At first, I rejected her perspective, and I was defensive. I tried to convince her that I was NOT that chick; I was not a discount diva. I did my best to persuade her that I was accomplished, educated, and polished because my fragile ego could not take such painful, though honest, comments.

It was an emotionally excruciating day, but I listened to my friend. While she shared her revelations, I cried, really sobbed, as she lovingly explained how she “experienced” me. She provided details, examples, and names. Her comments were thoughtful, candid, and courageous.

My conversation with my friend was life-changing, and I go into greater detail about that experience in Deciding To Soar 2. If you haven’t bought the book, please do. If you have purchased my newest book, please turn to Chapter 50. You will find the entire story there. Order here or via Amazon.

How did I process my friend’s candid feedback?

By using a method called the TRUTH Method.

The TRUTH Method is a process I created to ensure that I don’t immediately reject helpful feedback, and it is the same process that I use with powerful people today.

The TRUTH Method helps people objectively review and dissect the past WITHOUT shaming themselves because shame never changes behavior. And most of all, the TRUTH Method leads to value-based action and deep emotional healing.

TRUTH Method

  • T = Even though feedback is tough to hear, take it in. Listen with fresh ears.
  • R = Don’t immediately resist and reject feedback, reflect on it. Assess your behavior and beliefs. Identify what’s feels true.
  • U = Don’t shun feedback, “UN” it. (Un is a prefix that means to do the opposite.) You may need to unpack, unlearn, or untether yourself from old conditioning to heal.
  •  Trust yourself to make new decisions and to tackle the naysayers and your internal critics. Lovingly challenge and confront anything that prevents your growth.
  • H = Don’t hide from your mistakes or your beliefsGet help, huddle, and heal. 

Bottom-line is this: Acknowledging the truth is the basis of transformation. And to make dynamic, life-changing shifts in your life, you must identify and reckon with your past, your habits, your hobbies, your relationships, and your beliefs that strip you of power.

You MUST tell yourself the truth!

You can listen to more insights on our community private podcast feed by joining my newsletter. Click here to join.

You can also listen via YouTube by clicking here. And while you are there, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Moral of the story: Honor yourself and seek feedback. Learn how people “experience” you. Never forget that you are a divine design and not a discount diva. You have much to offer the world.

P.S. Make sure you purchase Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose and the Deciding To Soar Reflection Guide by clicking here.

Blessings!

SharRon

Don’t Wait Another Day!

It’s June. Half of 2021 is over. So now what?

What are you going to do?

The world is opening up, so what are you doing to live a bigger, bolder, and more satisfying life?

What are you doing to ensure that you don’t get back on the hamster wheel and forget all the lessons you learned during the COVID quarantine?

What are you doing to create space for new people, new opportunities, and new awakenings so you don’t return to a life that was dishonest, restrictive, or chaotic?

How are you now stepping out and taking some risks because you realize that death is real and those small things like viruses can have life-changing consequences?

What are you doing to ensure that you are acting in ways that are compatible with your desired success and happiness so you don’t stay in an unfulfilling job or relationship?

What are you doing to learn more about your country’s history so you can be a change agent, an ally, or a more courageous social justice advocate?

What are you doing to interrupt your old patterns and disrupt your default beliefs so you can open yourself up to new perspectives?

What are you doing to re-think your relationships so that you are surrounded by people who want and expect you to win?

How are you stretching your mind, reevaluating how you work, and reimagining how you live so you can thrive with ease?

Good questions? Yes!

I know that some of you will be working with me during the next six months to delve deeper into what it means to live a self-aware, liberated life. I am so excited about our journey, and I know that your life will be forever changed as you DARE TO BE YOU in profound, healing ways.

But since this is a time of personal and societal rebuilding, I will be offering other options for us to work together as we all are being challenged to reimagine our lives. So, stay tuned. I have a few resources that will support you, especially if you are ready to see yourself with fresh eyes and live outside of the status quo.

In the meantime, I started a private podcast just for our community. It is not perfect, but I wanted to share some timely insights, journal prompts, and some healing resources that may support you. If you find them valuable, invite others to the Dare To Soar Higher community. They can join by clicking here.

As the world reopens, please remember to pace yourself, rest, and don’t settle for “what was” when “what can be” is so much for thrilling, fulfilling, and edifying!

Blessings!

SharRon

Name Especially When It’s Easier To Numb

I have often struggled with depression. Some years it was just a low grade, couldn’t-get-my-groove-back type of feeling. And at other times, it was a debilitating feeling of dread and desperation.

Of course, I explained my feelings away by convincing myself that my extreme sadness was due only to work stress, or that it was the result of being a single mom, or it was due to the daily microaggressions that I faced at work. And we all know that any one of those issues alone can wreak havoc on your mental health.

But even though ALL of that was true, I was still reluctant to NAME what I suspected it really was —depression. Why? Church and culture had convinced me that being depressed was a sign of weakness and a sign of being faithless. And so, I was admonished to pray more. But what I really needed was some prayer, a therapist, and a little bit of Prozac. Let the church say amen!

But instead of finally naming my depression, I numbed it. I worked harder, exercised more, ate more, prayed more, and nagged my son more. I did more of everything but tell the truth. I did everything but NAME the hope-depleting, joy-sucking feeling which I knew was depression.

Thank God I am liberated from those toxic beliefs. I now know that we MUST normalize talking about mental health, therapy, and trauma. We must also talk about the ways that racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, poverty, health inequity, toxic religion, systemic oppression, white-washing, gaslighting, suffocating norms, and toxic individualism compound the need for being more intentional about our mental health and about seeking support. And we must normalize that finding the RIGHT therapist, coach, or counselor may take time. Yes, it may take a few months and a few failed attempts to find the person or group that most resonates with you. So, please don’t stop going to therapy or seeking help because the first therapist could not resonate with you or your lived experience.

My friend, we live in a society where over 17 million people have experienced at least one major depressive episode. Because of COVID, civil unrest, past trauma, and so many other gut-wrenching losses, some people have experienced chronic depression and struggle every day.

Because of its prevalence, discussions about mental health must be normalized and talked about in the home, in schools, on our jobs, and in our faith-based organizations. It is dangerous to be silent about depression, and it is irresponsible to stigmatize people when they need support, community, and compassion.

In Deciding To Soar 2, I talk about my bouts with depression, and I will keep talking about it because it is important for people to know that depression can be treated and healing can be trusted. Never forget that your mental health matters because you matter. (Chapter 7)

What I know for sure: Therapy saved my life. Racially sensitive and culturally informed therapy helped me understand how historical trauma and racial trauma stripped me of my power and trapped me in a world of self-loathing. It helped me understand how I was consciously and unconsciously taught to hate myself and devalue people who looked like me. It helped me understand how my faith tradition was steep in patriarchy, which polluted my relationship with God. It helped me understand that I was worthy of wealth, abundance, love, and rest.

Therapy helped me SOAR HIGHER than the prerogative paradigms, perspectives, and prescriptions that held me down and tried to help me back.

Therapy is not a luxury. It is essential if you want to live an authentic, audacious life.

If you would like more tools and strategies to SOAR higher, please sign up for my newsletter by clicking here.

I am cheering for you!

You can heal!

Blessings,

SharRon

 

Finding Your Real Self In A World Of Sameness

Sometimes we hide so long that we cannot remember who we really are.

So, who are you? Do you know?

Look in the mirror and re-introduce yourself to yourself.

Remove the masks, make-up, money, mess, messages, and material stuff that obscure your essence.

Step out of the shadows and step away from your public plastic personas.

Pull off the veil of insecurity, inadequacy, and insufficiency.

As my Sister @alexokoroji would say, get naked.

Now, look! See your beauty!

Inhale your magnificence! Marvel at your splendor!

Imagine possibilities! Celebrate your body!

Ask yourself questions! Listen to your soul.

Step outside of the social constructs that confine you to mediocrity.

Push behind and beyond the biases and stereotypes that undermine you.

Speak to your heart. Clear your mind.

Honor the God in you! Look!!!

Look deeply!!! Look with expectation.

Now, that is YOU!!!❤️❤️❤️

What do you think of YOU now?

Are you ready to SOAR HIGHER than you have ever SOARED before?

It’s time to SOAR Higher!

Have You Lost Your Voice?

Have you lost your voice?

Not your physical voice, but the sound of your truth?

Why does losing your voice matter?

Losing your voice is how you gradually lose yourself.

How?

Losing your voice is when you fail to own your truth and stand up for what you believe in or trust.

It’s when you swallow your words, abandon your truth, and suppress your opinions to make others happy.

Losing your voice is when you downplay your beliefs in exchange for fake respect, shiny objects, and conditional acceptance.

What I know for sure: Your voice is unique, and it’s yours. You may not have developed it, refined it, or acknowledged it yet, but you have a voice. You have opinions and perspectives that guide and govern your life.

You have something to say! And it’s important that you say it because you have something to say that only you can say. Nobody else in the world has your unique perspective or lived experience.

Why?

You have a voice that creates, connects, and comforts in a distinctive way.

You have an incredible, inimitable sound that summons greatness, shares insight, and serves a bigger purpose.

You have a voice that carries, moves, and inspires people to take life-altering action.

You!

Just so you know…. some people will not like you using your voice especially if your voice clashes or competes with the status quo or pushes people beyond their comfort zones.

But despite the risks and repercussions, and there will be many, I encourage you to FIND YOUR OWN VOICE and speak as loud as you can. 

Speak so loud that you rattle the cages of conformity and complacency to inspire change.

Speak so loud that you pull down strongholds of wickedness in high places so integrity can be restored.

Speak so loud that you drown out your haters, doubters, and manipulators who try to confuse, control, and confine you!

Speak so loud that you empower and embolden people to live beyond their circumstances and rise beyond their trauma.

Speak so loud that people feel the winds of challenge, change, and progress in their lives.

Speak so loud that the mental chains of oppression fall from the minds, hands, and hearts of leaders, influencers, and change agents.

SPEAK with intention and conviction!

The world needs your voice.

Why?

Justice is waiting, Truth is waiting. Peace is waiting. Your Creator is waiting.

So, SPEAK!

Ask yourself:

  • What do I need to say to myself and to others to live honestly and with integrity?
  • What do I need to share to support my mission, vision, and truth to others?
  • What do I need to demand to keep myself safe, sane, and striving in my personal life?
  • What do I need to express to release old wounds, address old trauma, and forgive old debtors so I can move forward with joy and peace?

Speak!

Your voice needs to be heard and witnessed.

Are YOU ready?