Please Check On Your Black and Black Collegues

Early this morning, a few Black women from various industries prayed, shared, and cried together.

We had to because we know that tomorrow, so many Black people will be expected to go to work, participate on virtual calls, and smile WHILE their hearts are bleeding and breaking.

Some Black folks will be so anxious and distraught that they will not be able to focus or find the words to engage with colleagues. Why? The ongoing collective pain of injustice, apathy, and corporate posturing is emotionally excruciating. The pain is debilitating, and knowing that there is NO RELIEF in sight makes the pain sharper and deeper.

Unfortunately, some white colleagues will not understand, and a few won’t even care about the impact of the Buffalo murders on the hearts, minds, and souls of Black employees.

For some White people who have decided that courageous allyship is too risky for their careers or who are concerned that Black and Brown people are “getting special treatment” in corporate spaces, it will be business as usual.

As a minister who works in corporate America, I know my day will be filled with healing, consoling, and holding space for people to process individual/collective grief and rage.

So even as I am processing my own pain and crying through my own gut-wrenching tears, I will be praying, consoling, and holding space for grieving people.

People ask….why do we talk about racial incidents at work? Why should DEIJ be considered a leadership competency?

Why? Corporate cultures are reflective of our bigger culture. We all know that, so no need to write about it here.

The truth: Until the words on corporate WEBSITES become the truth and the reality of the WAYS people WORK, our corporate spaces will remain emotionally violent, physically exhausting, and spiritually depleting environments that foster mediocrity, incite fear, and protect oppressive behavior.

My heart is bleeding.

One day I hope that there will be a greater appreciation and concern for the challenges, agony, and the mental stress many Brown and Black people experience and ENDURE in corporate spaces.

But in the meantime, I will do my part to be a conduit of change because, as a minister first and a corporate leader second, I believe that Jesus is always connected to JUSTICE. I believe I MUST be the change I want to see, feel, and experience.

I am praying for the families who lost loved ones.

I am praying for justice.

I am praying for a world where we all can feel safe, seen, supported, and respected.

I am praying for you.

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

What Do You Feel Called To Do?

In a world that is reeling from so much pain, grief, and suffering, staying emotionally well and feeling safe are not easy feats. It takes discipline and intention to stay whole and joyful these days.

I know I haven’t shared a newsletter in a few weeks or engaged much on social media. And you know what? I missed sharing my thoughts with you and receiving your responses.

The good news is …. I have been speaking a lot and conducting sister circles for Black History Month and Women’s Month. It’s been an exhilarating time.

Yet, as the world celebrates both months, I find myself questioning if I am doing MY work, not just good work, MY work.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy celebrating and honoring the contributions of Black Americans and women. The well-deserved recognition is affirming and long overdue.

But honestly, as a Black woman, both months create rumblings in my soul because celebrating brave pioneers and trailblazers makes me wonder if I am truly living my life to the fullest. It makes me wonder if I am being as courageous as I need to be to create a legacy. It makes me examine if I am fearlessly living and embodying my truth. (I don’t compare my life with others; I question if I am living out loud and in alignment with my divine call.)

What I know for sure…. I am not alone. 

Many people are also trying to recover and remember the real truth of who they are. You know….those deeply-rooted truths that our souls and hearts know, but our minds can’t seem to name, describe, and process yet.

After speaking to thousands of people, I realize many people are delving deep into their souls, trying to excavate the truth or awaken to the truths that have been buried to accommodate the masses.

Many people are shoveling through the “shoulds” trying to find meaning and bring balance to their lives.

Others are disconnecting from reality because the prospect of “truth” somehow contradicts what they need to assuage their fears, justify their behavior, or reclaim their sovereignty.

That’s why it is critical that we consistently ask ourselves… what am I called to do NOW? Now! What’s the truth for me today? What do I want to leave behind to help others on this journey called life?

Yes, you had plans and goals, but do those plans still resonate with who we are NOW and who you feel destined to become?

So, as you are reading this message….. What do you feel called to do? What will your legacy be? What will you gift to the next generation?

Whatever it is, I am sure that what you are being called to do is beyond the societal SHOULDs that are stopping you from being fully alive, spiritually awake, and authentically YOU!

The SHOULDS are probably undermining your legacy.

To me, legacy means providing generational gifts (traditions, thoughts, money, experiences, knowledge, beliefs) that prepare people for greatness. It means ensuring that our loved ones are not starting from ground zero again.

That’s what I am thinking about, and I would love for us to think about that together because collective wisdom is powerful. Joining hearts and heads with diverse people allows us to come together and to get closer to the truth of who we are. And then, we can build our individual and collective legacies to support generations to come.

If you feel called to talk about SHOULDS and how they affect your ability to build a legacy, join me on Thursday, March 24th via Zoom at 8 pm EST. It’s free.

Let’s gather together and share our thoughts. Here’s the link to register.

Hope to see you there!

SharRon

Leaders Need Love, Too!

Since January, I’ve been meeting and speaking with leaders from many industries and from all walks of life, and I have heard one common theme: many leaders are trying to do life alone or they don’t have adequate support.

So many of them are bearing the weight of multiple responsibilities and roles, and shouldering so much responsibility is taking a toll on their minds and spirits, especially during COVID.

Because let’s face it; it doesn’t matter how educated or experienced you are, you still need support. Nobody is an island, and nobody has all the answers and resources they need to live in an ever-changing, complicated world.

So, as a leader, what do you need?

You need people who understand the challenges, nuances, and intricacies of your life who can offer real-world advice and soul-nourishing support. As my elders used to say, “you need people who know what you carry.”

In the coming weeks, I will offer some thoughts about choosing comrades who understand what you carry. But today, I want to offer one gem.

YOUR FRIENDS MUST HAVE THE QUALITIES OF WATER.

When you think of people embodying water-like qualities, you think of people who can nourish, protect, and replenish you by showering you with affirmation, wisdom, and laughter when you need it, so you don’t lose faith in yourself, dreams, and abilities. And you need friends who can also confront you, correct you, and critique you so you don’t get too full of yourself and stop growing.

You also need people in your life to function like water to extinguish the fires in your soul so you don’t self-destruct and compromise your career, business, and relationships. Why? Emotional fires make you extremely volatile, impulsive, and easy to seduce, which makes you a liability to yourself and others.

In my latest book, Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose, I share how I almost let a few emotional fires burn up my family, career, health, and dreams.

I hate to admit it, but I was “raging”, and the unprocessed anger created a dangerous inferno in my soul that almost burned up my life, jeopardized my livelihood, and undermined my ability to be a leader. Trust me, it wasn’t pretty, and it was extremely painful.

So, today, take an inventory. Identify who understands what you carry and embodies the qualities of water, so you have the support you need to lead in a way that honors you and respects others.

I discuss this issue in greater detail in our private community podcast. Join my mailing list for access.

But in the meantime, send me a message and let me know how you are evaluating your friends and colleagues on their “water-ability.” Click here to send me a message.

Remember, you need help and you deserve help!

Leaders need love, too, and loving yourself at the deepest level requires that you have load-sharing support and a soul-nourishing community.

Blessings!

SharRon

Go Home And Have Peace!

As a child, my family moved around a lot. My parents were teenage parents and our lives centered around their jobs, college, and, of course, finances. I didn’t understand it then, but I now understand that my young parents were figuring life out along the way and doing the best they could to complete their education while raising a growing family. Wow…that’s a lot.

 

I am so proud of my parents. Despite tragedy, trouble, and trauma, my parents have been together for almost 60 years. Side by side, they raised 4 very different kids; we are as different as night and day. But through all the vicissitudes of life, they taught us one important lesson: when you are at home in your soul, you can live anywhere.

 

I didn’t believe it then, but life has taught me that “HOME” is truly an inside job, an inside feeling, and an inside commitment to yourself. It is an anchoring place that aligns you with your values, awakens you to your vision, and alerts you when you go astray.

 

“Home” is your foundation, and it stabilizes you, but it requires vigilance to live there. In a culture that constantly bombards you with gloom-and-doom messages,  perpetuates injustice,  exploits the weak, abuses the uniformed, and undermines public trust, it’s hard to create a sense of “home” if you are not intentional. Coupled with your own personal issues, competing needs, and idiosyncrasies, home can seem so far away.

 

But despite the challenges, it’s important to “go home.”

 

The shifts, chaos, and the vicissitudes of life can’t disrupt your peace if you are “at home”.

 

The critics, haters, and naysayers won’t derail your momentum if you are “at home.”

 

Popularity, profits, and perks won’t seduce you if you are “at home.”

 

Not being accepted, not being validated, and not being invited won’t make you question your worth if you are “at home.”

 

Challenging the status quo, disrupting cultural norms, and detaching from historical narratives won’t intimidate you if you are “at home.”

 

Exploring unknown places, entertaining original ideas, and engaging with diverse people won’t scare you if you are “at home.”

 

Leaving jobs you hate, detaching from traditions that don’t honor you, and freeing yourself from unhealthy relationships won’t frighten you if you are “at home.”

 

Speaking your mind, facing your inner demons, and processing your childhood wounds won’t terrify you if you are “at home.”

 

Are you “at home?”

 

The adage says that home is where your heart is. I believe that. But I also believe that “home” is where your healing is.

 

“Home” is where your hope is.

 

“Home” is where your help is.

 

“Home” is where your happiness is.

 

“Home” is where your harmony is.

 

“Home” is where your health is.

 

“Home” is where you are whole.

 

The most loving thing you can do for yourself is to Go HOME!

 

Going “home” may not be a straightforward journey because the path back to yourself is never linear; it’s filled with many ups and downs. It’s an ever-winding path with lots of unlearning, relearning, and learning. A lot of sharing, speaking, simplifying.  Tons of decluttering, decolonizing, disconnecting. Lots of remembering, reclaiming, and restoring.  AND loads of fulfillment, freedom, and faith. It’s a lifelong trip and you will experience many emotions, seasons, and stages along the way.

 

So, why not start today? Why not go home?

 

Go HOME and LOVE YOURSELF fiercely.

 

GO HOME…..the real you is waiting to meet you.

 

Blessings!

SharRon

 

** If you ever need support on your journey home, I would love to help you.

*excerpt based on Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose.

Happy Black History Month

My parents didn’t have much. They were just teenagers when they had my sister and me.

Yet, they gave me something valuable. They taught me to love myself and reinforced my self-worth in a culture that insisted that I was nothing, dirty, and worthless.

They exposed me to the power, the brilliance, and the beauty of Black people. They made sure that I knew Black people were not just slaves. And most of all, my Dad made sure that I understood that history books strategically and willfully omitted the truth about Black contributions to perpetuate the myth of white supremacy and superiority.

I am so grateful to my parents. Because even when White teachers told me I was dumb and even when white kids bullied and degraded me, there was a sweet knowing in my soul that I was royalty.

My parents made sure that I knew I was powerful, valuable, and worthy of respect. They shared stories that challenged the many lies I learned in history books so that I would remember that I was the descendants of a royal people who were inventors, innovators, leaders, and wisdom-givers.

That sweet knowing gave me the power to endure adversity, violence, and abuse from teachers and students. From kindergarten through second grade, I was kicked in the back, spat on in the face, hit in the head with a chair by a teacher, pushed down steps, punched in the stomach, and consistently called nigger by my classmates…..all before I entered the 3rd grade.

I was humiliated daily, and at times, I found it difficult to learn. Even today, I still cry for the younger me who was forced to endure so much pain while adults – teachers, school nurses, and principals – looked the other way. To White adults, constant violence and abuse were warranted. Why? Because my parents enrolled me in “their” schools.

I was wounded, but praise God, my wounds didn’t win. Praise God that my parents gave me the ammunition to neutralize and challenge the lies that tried to confine me to a life of mediocrity, misery, and marginalization. Praise God for the Black Churches that taught scripture and Black History side by side so that Black children would know that we had a place in God’s Kindom ( not kingdom…patriarchy has no place in my life).

Happy Black History Month!

And during this precious but short month, I pray all people will take the time to learn, discover, and remember the truth about the wealth, brilliance, beauty, tenacity, diversity, and love found in the histories, experiences, and lives of Black people.

Blessings!

A Few HUGS Can Help You Win!

HUGS will help you win!

When you are trying something new, you need plenty of HUGS!

Even though there is great power and comfort in a warm embrace, I am talking about different types of HUGS.

What are HUGS?

HUGS are essential ingredients for your success.

H.U.G.S. stands for:

H = You must understand your history.
When pursuing a goal or dream, it’s important to review your history because your past always leaves clues about your future. For example, understanding your cultural and social histories provides valuable insight into what shaped your beliefs and behaviors. When you understand your history, you can challenge inherited assumptions, so you can choose between who society wants you to be and who you want to become.

U =  You need to be undergirded.

Undergirding is not a word you hear a lot, but it means “to bolster, brace, strengthen and sustain.” It means possessing and accessing the internal and external infrastructures YOU need to build what you desire in your life. I will share more about the importance of infrastructure on Saturday during Soar 2022. You can register here.

G =  You need to give yourself grace.

When starting something new, you must give yourself the grace to learn and experiment with new skills, abilities, and perspectives. You must allow space for learning, relearning, and unlearning without judging yourself. Remember, everything in life is a big experiment that gives you the outcomes you want OR the lesson you need. So, give yourself grace to experiment so you can gain the wisdom you need.

S = You need support.

Success is always a team sport. Sometimes you need advice, skills, and mentors to assist you. When you identify the types of support you need, you can enlist and invest in the training, people, and resources you need to SOAR.

So, as you are considering your 2022 goals, think about giving yourself lots of H.U.G.S. because hugs have a way of providing the unique leverage, energy, and perspectives you need to:

  1. Ask yourself life-enhancing questions
  2. Awaken your buried gifts
  3. Attuned to your inner knowing
  4. Accept the highs of success without arrogance and the lows of growth without shame
  5. Allow people to help you without judging yourself
  6. Accomplish goals that are meaningful to you

If you’re interested in learning more about the power of hugs, I invite you to join me this Saturday for SOAR 2022.  Click here.

In the comfort of your home, you can gather with other heart-centered, values-driven people to talk about how you can achieve meaningful goals with joy and ease.

 

The Marriage Didn’t Last But I Did!

Today is an interesting day.

It is the anniversary of my first marriage.

A wedding day, which for many people are happy days, was a challenging day for me because I didn’t have support.

You see, I was marrying a man of a different faith, and because of that, my family and most of my friends didn’t attend my wedding. Since I was not marrying a Christian, my marriage was “not of God,” and, as a result, not worthy of their presence.

So, as I prepared and primped, I cried. I mean, big crocodile tears filled with fear, doubt, indignation, abandonment, and disappointment. Big tears filled with salt, mascara, and eyeliner that almost soiled my pretty white dress. Big tears filled with turmoil, chaos, and inner conflict that almost made me leave my groom at the altar.

The day was emotionally excruciating, and as I stumbled down to the front of the wedding chapel, my heart crumbled into a million pieces. My parents’ absence, especially my father’s because I was a Daddy’s girl, felt like desertion. I also felt deeply demonized by the church, and I feared that God was going to “strike me down” at the altar. Even though I tried my best to ignore the fear tactics of the “saints,” their messages of doom unnerved me.

The blessing: Even though the love didn’t last, my liberation did.

It was on that day, December 23rd, that I learned that I had the power to make choices that were mine. I had the power to choose what made me happy, even if it made everybody else sad. I had the right to choose my truth over traditions. I had the power to follow my own conscience and resist the pressure of the crowd.

And now, every time I feel scared to do something that I feel called to do, I remind myself that I have the inner fortitude to stand up for my beliefs, stand firm in the face of oppression, and to speak my truth, even when the truth is inconvenient or controversial.

What I know from working with many destiny-seeking, big-hearted clients is that we all have pivotal moments in our lives that reveal our strength, show who we are, and announce who we are destined to be.

The problem is that many people don’t take inventory of those moments, or they overlook the significance of their moments. And as a result, they don’t recognize how many times they have ALREADY been heroes and sheroes in their own lives. They fail to acknowledge and celebrate the many battles that they have already won. They undervalue their own journey, and the insight they gained from following their own unique path.

Please take inventory of your life and notice the moments, milestones, and miracles that you have already experienced. That way, you can remember who you are!

You can remember and reclaim your sovereignty.

You can resurrect your buried dreams, goals, and wisdom.

You can revive the dead places in your life.

You can restore your hope.

You can release old identities, paradigms, and perspectives so you can RISE and SOAR!

Today is my liberation day and I pray I continue to liberate my mind so I can continue to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

And as I SOAR HIGHER, I look forward to helping others SOAR HIGHER too.

So, if you have some tough decisions to make in 2022 and you need help challenging the status quo, I would love to help.

I would love to share insight from the lessons that I have learned on my own personal path to self-liberation and self-trust because I know what I have learned can help you too.

Words to SOAR By: Remember to look critically at your life. Reflect on your experiences and acknowledge all the evidence that confirms that you ALREADY possess the courage, tenacity, giftedness, and inner wisdom to live an authentic life. Remind yourself that you already have the power you need to do what you have been divinely called to do.

All you need is somebody who believes in you to help you remember who you are!

I Dare To Be Me is starting soon, and giving yourself the gift of liberation is the gift that will continue to give back to you for a lifetime. Click here to learn more. 

 

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher!

 

SharRon

Being Cute Is Not Enough!

Being pretty does not always mean that you are attractive. Attractive means that you are a magnet for change, growth and abundance.

Are you attractive?

 

I know you look good but are you a magnet for other leaders, trailblazers, and visionaries?

 

As a high-performer yourself, you need other people around you who are just as talented, skilled, and gifted as you are. You need people who are confident and are willing to share, support, and help you upgrade your skills.

 

And guess what?

 

They need you too! 

 

In other words, you need to be equally yoked!

 

Trust me, being equally yoked is not only for marriage and partnerships. Being equally yoked is essential if you want to grow, evolve, and SOAR to new levels in your life.

 

So how do you attract people who are just as driven, giving, and authentic as you are?

 

I share a few tips in the video below. But if you don’t have 6 minutes,

Here are a few tips:

 

  • List three adjectives that you feel describe you today
  • List 3 adjectives that you aspire to in the next five years
  • Ask three people to share 3 adjectives about you
  • Ask three people how they “experience” you so that you can identify your social blindspots and/or your social/relational strengths
  • Ask three people to identify the 3 top values that govern your life based on their interaction with you 

 

Now, be open to the feedback and ask for suggestions or explanations if you need clarity.

 

It might be a bit uncomfortable, but understanding how you are perceived is essential to attracting people who have the character and competence you need to SOAR Higher!

 

Bottom line: As 2019 comes to a close, it’s time to reflect and reexamine how you show up in the world.

 

Why? 2020 is the decade of destiny and you must attract the caliber of connections and resources that you need to excel at life and love.

 

I look forward to sharing more about the importance of connections and success in the next “Dare To Me” cohort. Click here for more information.

 

It starts in late February, so get on the waitlist today to receive exclusive bonuses and gifts.

 

Blessings and Happy New Year!

 

P.S. I would love to work with you. In the meantime,… here are a few ways I can help you transform your life from the inside out:

 

1. Subscribe to my Youtube channel and feed your mind and soul about relationships, success, and “doing” YOU!. Click here to start listening. I will follow you back.

2. FOLLOW me on Instagram to fill your IG feed with bit-sized motivation to help you through the day. Click here to follow me and I will follow you back.

3. Download my Free Audio Series on Friendship. 

 

 

From Bad Break-up to Good Wake-up

Bad Breakups…. Yuck!!

If you have ever experienced a bad personal, professional or a career break-up, you know that bad breakups are not easy. Feelings fly, accusations assault, lies label, connections collapse, and remarks ruin reputations. Severing relationships can be dicey, destructive and detrimental.

If the parties are not emotionally mature and spiritually-grounded, they expose themselves and others to undue scrutiny. They share intimate details of the break-up to make themselves right and to show the entire world that the other person is wrong. Trust is violated, secrets are disclosed, businesses are lost and what was shared in confidence gets plastered on social media. Making personal, business and intimate disclosures, of course, is not high-level emotional functioning, but we all have done it.

 Let’s face it…. when people are hurting, they lash out and some people play dirty. They tell half-truths, concoct outright lies, or share sensitive information that compromises not only their lives but also the lives of others. The full truth is rarely shared, and, when we are blinded by our pain, nobody really remembers the full truth anyway. After coaching people for over 20 years there are a few things I know for sure: pain has a way of making people pretty, pain causes amnesia and pain degrades others.

What I also know for sure is that pain or scandal is a magnet for messy people. Messy people run to scandal faster than pigs flock to slop. Messy people are like vultures who circle around wounded people waiting to stir the pot of pain so that they can to add their own special brand of venom to an already volatile situation. Of course, that makes the pain worse.

But breakups, though painful, are not the times to numb your feelings by finding another date or another bestie to fill the void. Yes, you need friends; we all need support. But we also need to feel our feelings too because breaks-up are the times for deep reflection and honest introspection.

What I know for sure is that breakups are great times for emotional check-ups and spiritual wake-ups. Post break-ups are times to get quiet and journal. It’s a great time to ask yourself some key questions to understand why the relationship started, why the relationship failed, what parts of you need healing or development and what you really desire in your “ships”.

The more you learn about you, the more information you have to support your new relationship with yourself AND to support a connection with a prospective partner.  Knowledge is power and self-awareness are key to growth, fulfillment, and satisfaction.

But above all, remember that any information you gained from relationships, should stay between the parties involved. The relationship was not a community event; it was once a special bond or agreement between the two of you.

If you are going through a break-up or if you want to learn more skills to prevent another break-up, register for the You Can Depend on You Coaching Program starting on September 21. This is the last time in 2017 that this program will be offered as a live on-line program.

If you have questions and if you are tired of choosing people who don’t align with your values, register today. https://tinyurl.com/YouCanDependonYou

Let’s dare to soar higher as we honor the sanctity of connections even after the connection is over.

***If you need some communication advice to prevent future break-ups, be sure to get my free gift here. http://daretosoarhigher.sharronjamison.com/

Blessings!

SharRon, Your Life Strategist