Skip to main content

Are You Watering Weeds?

October 7, 2023

Are you watering weeds and expecting flowers to bloom?

If my elders saw someone using their effort, energy, and enthusiasm in unproductive ways, they would say they were “watering weeds.”

“Watering weeds” may not be a common expression today, but it is a statement I am exploring more in my life and with my clients.

So this week, I posed the critical question to 3 coaching groups: Where are you watering weeds?

The answers the groups shared were complex, insightful, and vulnerable. So, I wanted to share some of their answers with you, hoping you can identify where you may be metaphorically watering weeds in your own life.

Which response most resonates with you?

  • Continuing to invest in a failing business or project.
  • Staying employed at a company despite not getting opportunities to grow, develop, or contribute.
  • Staying in a relationship with someone not ambitious, abusive, or toxic.
  • Staying connected to family members who drain, use, or criticize you for evolving.
  • Staying in a faith tradition that demonizes you because of who you are and who you love.
  • Dwelling on negative thoughts and emotions, such as self-criticism, failure, and regret.
  • Spending time with people who constantly complain or criticize others.
  • Investing in relationships where there is no reciprocity or mutuality.
  • Living in places that are financially draining and emotionally stagnating.
  • Undermining your fitness goals by using food to numb emotional pain.
  • Procrastinating on important tasks and spending time scrolling on social media.
  • Donating time and money to causes that violate the public’s trust.
  • Constantly choosing temporary comfort over investing in my desired goals.

The candid and revealing conversations were life-changing. And through their own reflections, transparency, and honesty, the brave folks who shared were able to recognize the barriers that kept them in ruts and harmful situations.

The good news is that we can change! You and I can make different choices that promote our fulfillment.

Instead of watering weeds, we can “water flowers.”

“Watering flowers” is a commonly used phrase representing activities that nurture the soul, uplift the heart, and aid personal growth. Metaphorically, nurturing supportive relationships is like watering flowers.

To be clear: “Watering Flowers” is not about toxic positivity or being Pollyanna. It’s about intentionally creating a fulfilling and meaningful life.

In my private podcast, I share a few thoughts about watering weeds. Click here to listen and to subscribe.  If you have time, please tell me where you are watering flowers. Also, let me know how I can support you.

I hope you have a fantastic October and spend most of your time watering flowers, not weeds.


The Dare To Soar Higher Strategist