Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.
Yes, KILLING them!
What’s the assumption: All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope.
I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?
When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?
No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.
Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?
It means that YOU MUST let some things go!
If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.
Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.
But no more!
Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.
And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.
I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!
So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.
Put yourself first!
Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.
Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.
Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.
The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.
But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.
Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.
I am cheering for you!
You got this!
My team and I are here for you.