Tag: emotional healing

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Written by SharRon Jamison on July 1, 2021. Posted in Blog, Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption: All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope.

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon

Are You A Discount Diva? Are You Undervaluing Yourself?

Written by SharRon Jamison on June 14, 2021. Posted in Blog. No Comments on Are You A Discount Diva? Are You Undervaluing Yourself?

Have you ever played yourself cheap or betrayed yourself to fit into a specific group?

I have.

In fact, 25 years ago, one of my dearest friends told me I devalued myself so much that I navigated in the world like a “discount diva.”

What? A discount diva?

Boy, I was crushed! I was not only offended by how casually she called me out, but I was also saddened because her words felt true. And because her words felt true to my soul, I felt embarrassed, stupid, and exposed.

At first, I rejected her perspective, and I was defensive. I tried to convince her that I was NOT that chick; I was not a discount diva. I did my best to persuade her that I was accomplished, educated, and polished because my fragile ego could not take such painful, though honest, comments.

It was an emotionally excruciating day, but I listened to my friend. While she shared her revelations, I cried, really sobbed, as she lovingly explained how she “experienced” me. She provided details, examples, and names. Her comments were thoughtful, candid, and courageous.

My conversation with my friend was life-changing, and I go into greater detail about that experience in Deciding To Soar 2. If you haven’t bought the book, please do. If you have purchased my newest book, please turn to Chapter 50. You will find the entire story there. Order here or via Amazon.

How did I process my friend’s candid feedback?

By using a method called the TRUTH Method.

The TRUTH Method is a process I created to ensure that I don’t immediately reject helpful feedback, and it is the same process that I use with powerful people today.

The TRUTH Method helps people objectively review and dissect the past WITHOUT shaming themselves because shame never changes behavior. And most of all, the TRUTH Method leads to value-based action and deep emotional healing.

TRUTH Method

T = Even though feedback is tough to hear, take it in. Listen with fresh ears.

R = Don’t immediately resist and reject feedback, reflect on it. Assess your behavior and beliefs. Identify what’s feels true.

U = Don’t shun feedback, “UN” it. (Un is a prefix that means to do the opposite.) You may need to unpack, unlearn, or untether yourself from old conditioning to heal.

T = Trust yourself to make new decisions and to tackle the naysayers and your internal critics. Lovingly challenge and confront anything that prevents your growth.

H = Don’t hide from your mistakes or your beliefs. Get help, huddle, and heal.

Bottom-line is this: Acknowledging the truth is the basis of transformation. And to make dynamic, life-changing shifts in your life, you must identify and reckon with your past, your habits, your hobbies, your relationships, and your beliefs that strip you of power.

You MUST tell yourself the truth!

You can listen to more insights on our community private podcast feed by joining my newsletter. Click here to join.

You can also listen via YouTube by clicking here. And while you are there, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Moral of the story: Honor yourself and seek feedback. Learn how people “experience” you. Never forget that you are a divine design and not a discount diva. You have much to offer the world.

P.S. Make sure you purchase Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose and the Deciding To Soar Reflection Guide by clicking here.

Blessings!

SharRon

What’s Blocking You?

Written by SharRon Jamison on April 27, 2015. Posted in Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on What’s Blocking You?

Have you ever thought about what’s really blocking you in your life? No, really. Have you thought about why you continue to stay in a joyless, sexless and unfulfilling relationship? Or, why you continue to work an unrewarding, unsatisfying and low-paying job? Or, why you continue to associate with people who have low goals, no goals or no guts? Or, why you participate in organizations that demonize, disappoint or degrade you and others? Or, why you associate with people who are envious of you and secretly covet your life? Have you truly thought about those things?

To be honest, I really did not consider those questions myself until one day I woke up and realized that I was lost. I woke up and found myself confused about my career, puzzled about my purpose, baffled by my relationship, mystified by my faith and confounded by the choices that I was FAILING to make. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that I was not making decisions at all; I was just letting life happen. I was not choosing anything; I was settling for whatever and whomever came in my life. And boy, did I settle. I sold myself short personally and professionally.

But thankfully, I have learned that living and creating a fulfilling life required that I make decisions. Yes, living a satisfying life required me to participate fully in the life process even when I didn’t feel equipped, qualified or confident enough to make informed choices. Even when I didn’t want to or feel up to it, I learned that I had to be the leader, director, and organizer of my life; I had to be the boss of me. Prepared or not, I learned that I had to guide, manage and love myself enough to make decisions that helped me SOAR.

Those decisions are not always easy to make and sometimes the options are less than desirable. But being the boss is not always easy and not making a decision is really a decision too. Something to consider right?

My clients often ask me the same question, “How do I become the boss of me?” It is a simple question, but simple questions rarely have simple answers. But here is what I offer.

I first tell my clients, who I call my teachers, to become AWARE. I encourage them to be become AWARE of what moves them, soothes them, angers them, motivates them, stresses them, relieves them, inspires them, etc. I advise them to conduct a monthly and sometimes a weekly self-inventory to learn what makes them tick, sick and stick. I encourage them to find out what makes them uncomfortable and then fully explore that discomfort. I hope I inspire them to learn what brings them peace, growth and liberation so that they can “live” in that space for the rest of their lives. Finally, I encourage them to get quiet and still so that they can hear the whispers from their souls because that is where our truth lies.

Becoming aware and staying aware won’t be easy, especially with all of the distractions that vie for our attention and challenge our minds. But I implore you to try. Try to be become more AWARE of the amazing person you already are, and try to stay committed to growing into the more amazing person you hope to be. Because once you become aware, you will better appreciate who you are, recognize your full potential, discern what’s good and who is good for your spirit, and transform your life into greater abundance.

Awareness is the first step. I look forwarding to sharing the other 4 steps in the coming weeks. So stay tuned.

I wish you success on your journey to greater AWARENESS. You can do it! I know you can. We are on this journey together.

If you are interested in working with me to gain more self AWARENESS, please contact me. I am always here to support and serve you!

Blessings to you always and remember to DARE To SOAR HIGHER!