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What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog, Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness

Sometimes, you learn more about your relationships when you are sick than when you are well.

During my 10-month health challenge, that’s precisely what I learned. After months of pretending that everything was fine, I had to be honest about what was happening to me. And what became crystal clear was that I was extremely fortunate to have folks who could accept me and sit with me when I was “raw”—scared, without makeup, doubtful, and physically weak.

Honestly, I wasn’t really surprised that my friends were so wonderful because I am extremely selective and intentional about my inner circle.  In fact, years ago, I created a framework to help me assess relationships. I call the framework the CIA Framework, which stands for Courage, Integrity, and Authenticity.

The CIA Framework was extremely helpful when I was unwell. It also showed me that courage, integrity, and authenticity could be expressed in many ways. For example, during those 10 painful months…

  • Courage looked like truth-tellers who loved me enough to be honest, even when it was hard. They told me when I was not following the doctor’s orders and how I was prolonging my illness. They also reminded me I had the internal resources and medical insight to make strategic decisions about my healing journey.
  • Integrity looked like consistency because my friends kept showing up when I had nothing to offer. They kept calling and texting me when I could not call them back or when I was unwilling to provide updates. They balanced honoring my boundaries while providing emotional, spiritual, and physical care.
  • Authenticity looked like people who made space for the real me, not just the “strong” me. They were people who didn’t weaponize religion, guilt me into rushing my healing journey, bombard me with empty platitudes, or make cruel comments about how I looked.

Even though I was blessed to experience these traits while I was ill, the CIA framework applies to every part of our lives.  For example, courage helps you speak up at work when something is unjust. Integrity allows you to lead without compromising your values. Authenticity allows you to build businesses, relationships, and identities rooted in who you are, not who people want you to be.

My friend, the CIA Framework is not just a friendship filter; it’s a life framework to ground you and guide you so you can SOAR while experiencing soul-nourishing, life-enriching support.

Also, the CIA framework is both a mirror and a magnet. In the same way we use the CIA to evaluate others, we must use it to examine ourselves.

Why?

When we embody the traits we desire in others, we develop aligned, anchored, and wholesome friendships. And as I learned, when you have aligned friendships, you won’t have to chase support because it will find you. It will find you and be beside you in your deepest valleys, and it will celebrate loudly in your greatest victories.

I share more about the CIA Framework in the Deciding To Soar Podcast: Living Life Your Own Way. You can listen to the full episode: What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness on  Apple Podcast or YouTube.

If you have a friend who may benefit from this message, please forward it and encourage them to listen to the podcast.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your presence and your prayers.

Let’s continue to soar higher because the best is yet to come.

Blessings,

SharRon

Sacred Seasons: The Journey to a Purpose-Filled Life

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Life doesn’t always unfold in a straight line.

Life often moves in seasons—sacred, shifting seasons that shape how we grow, how we lead,
and how we live.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking with many visionaries, leaders, and purpose-seekers about life seasons.

We have discussed how seasons help people rethink their lives, values, and missions.

Why?

If we are open-minded and open-hearted, seasons help us bloom, heal, and align.

For example, when we feel stuck, seasons can push us forward, help us learn, and clarify our vision.

When we are courageous, seasons help us challenge, confront, and change societal paradigms that support our own humanity and the humanity of others.

If we are reflective, seasons help us shift and adjust so we can ride the waves of change without drowning.

If we pay attention, seasons inspire us to grow and ask ourselves new questions that expand our lives.

If we study our personal or political history, seasons help us affect change and prevent us from passing laws that rob ourselves and others of their identities, dignity, and humanity.

If we are observant, seasons help us be grateful for what we have and thankful for what we don’t have.

When we lose something or someone we cherish, seasons allow us to mourn.

If we permit ourselves to process the loss, seasons open our hearts to grieve and remember the love we had and the love we still need.

However, if we are not intentional, seasons cause us to regress and cause pain and disruptions in our lives and the lives of others.

Though some seasons are more challenging than others, each season’s goal is the same: to Help us Live Purpose-Filled Lives.

On the newest episode of the Deciding to Soar Podcast: Living Life Your Own Way, I discuss the five distinct seasons we all go through in our lives. Click here.

The seasons that we experience are never linear. You may be in more than one at the same time, in different areas of your life. But each season is sacred. Each is necessary. And each season is part of your soul’s curriculum to prepare you to do what you were created to do.

I share the seasons below. Which season most resonates with you?

1. Revelational Season: The Awakening

  • This is a season of enlightenment and divine inquiry when you question everything you have learned about life.
  • It’s when hidden truths are revealed or hidden talents are discovered.
  • It’s a season where family secrets may be revealed, or real intentions become known.
  • It’s often sparked by discomfort, frustration, or divine nudges that urge you to open your eyes, hearts, and minds.
  • This is the season that reminds you that you can’t UN-know what you deeply know.
  • It’s when you admit that something is no longer working or fulfilling.
  • It is also when you acknowledge that you can’t return to who or what you used to be. However, you may not be entirely sure how to proceed.
  • This incredible time in our lives is about untying, untethering, and untangling us from mediocrity, stagnation, and inferiority.
  • Vital because: It breaks illusions and brings truth to light. It starts your soul’s realignment.

“Revelation is where the soul whispers, ‘There’s more.’”

2. Educational Season: Learning

  • This season, you gather the tools, wisdom, and skills needed to address your revelation – your new truth or dream.
  • You go back to school, take a course, or begin training through formal study to gain the needed expertise or knowledge to activate your new vision and architect your desired life.
  • This is a period of many mistakes, mentors, and moments that provide real-world, on-the-job training so you can maximize your moment.
  • This season will challenge you to keep your mind and heart open so you can consider new thoughts, meet new people, and experience new places.
  • It’s a period of learning HOW to fail so you can acquire the critical lessons you need while you are down and use them on your way back up.
  • During this period, you may apply old knowledge in new or creative ways because you will recalibrate or re-use what you already know.
  • It’s a time of disruption, dismantling, disconnecting, decolonizing, and deconstructing, which allows you to rebuild, reinforce, and rekindle.
  • Vital because: It prepares you with the knowledge, strategy, and spiritual maturity you need to build. It’s where you implement your newfound insight, solutions, and strategy.

“Education feeds the vision that revelation uncovered.”

3. Directional Season: The Clarifying

  • This is a season about soul-inspired movement.
  • It doesn’t always mean significant shifts or making massive changes; it could mean boundaries, pivots, pauses, or purposeful action.
  • This season is a time of testing, trying, and timing as you discern how to proceed to fulfill your calling, dharma, or destiny.
  • This period is dedicated to progress, often requiring you to let go of old plans or paths that no longer serve you.
  • During this season, you align your inner life with your outer truth to experience congruency and harmony. For example, you make decisions about your career that align with your conscience or re-configure your relationships so they align with your deepest needs.
  • This season requires courage because you are taking steps without knowing the path to your ultimate destination.
  • It is a time of liberation—sometimes fragile freedom—when you gain strength in your sovereignty and agency.
  • This season requires you to be a champion, crusader, creator, and collaborator because success never happens in isolation.
  • Vital because: Without direction, movement, or trusting your intuition to guide you, you drift.

“Direction comes when you’re ready to walk in what you know.”

4. Aspirational Season: The Dreaming

  • This is where you dare to believe, try, love, and hope again.
  • This period requires you to own, trust, unleash your imagination, and see yourself bigger than ever.
  • During this season, your desires re-emerge, often with new depth, understanding, and purpose.
  • This is a season of profound innovation because your vision expands, your creativity flows, and your courage increases.
  • Risk-taking, chance-making, and legacy-building are embraced and welcomed.
  • This season will remind you that dreams are not distractions but are divine directions to your destiny.
  • This is a season when others will often misunderstand you but will feel the most inspired, resilient, and courageous.
  • You will finally realize your capacity to stretch, create, and lead based on how you are divinely wired and NOT what society has indoctrinated or threatened you to be.
  • Vital because: It restores possibility, breathes life into your calling, and confirms your identity.

“Aspiration reminds you that your dreams are divine data.”

5. Enjoyable Season: The Living

  • This is the season where you taste the fruit of your journey and your labor.
  • This season nourishes your spirit and refills your cup for the next journey ahead.
  • You allow yourself to feel good, rest well, and receive joy.
  • You no longer feel guilty for ease, pleasure, success, or happiness.
  • You allow yourself to ask for and receive help.
  • You honor prayer, presence, and peace as spiritual practices.
  • You prioritize and protect your wholeness, wellness, and your health.
  • Vital because: Enjoyment is not a reward—it’s a requirement for sustained purpose.

“Joy is sacred. Pleasure is part of your purpose.”

Seasons.

Wherever you are on your journey, trust that your season is not a mistake; it’s a message. And whether you’re awakening, learning, discerning, dreaming, or delighting… trust that you’re precisely where you need to be for this specific time.

Click here to listen to the episode.

Remember, don’t rush the season. Receive it. Reflect on it. Rest in it. Rise with it.

Because the best is yet to come!

SharRon

3 Ways to Empower Yourself—And 1 Mistake That Keeps You Stuck

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Do you feel empowered?

With everything happening around us—politically, personally, and professionally—feeling empowered is more important than ever.

Why?

When we feel empowered, we make decisions that protect our wellness, uplift our communities, and support our loved ones. We use our personal power with courage.

So today, I want to explore what self-empowerment really looks like because self-empowerment is about living with permission….SELF-Permission.

Self-empowerment also ensures we don’t surrender our lives to fear, expectations, bullies, or outdated beliefs.

So, let’s break self-empowerment down into four essential practices that will help you live an empowered life.

Self-Advocacy: Using Your Voice with Confidence

Self-advocacy is recognizing, communicating, and claiming what you need without guilt, hesitation, or waiting for validation. It’s about courageously owning your voice and trusting your inner-knowing.

⇒ When We Do It Well:

  • We command respect in relationships and workplaces.
  • We live our values without caving in or conforming to the status quo.
  • We set boundaries that prevent burnout and resentment.
  • We reinforce our self-worth by treating our voice as valuable.
  • We ask for support, resources, assistance, and grace.

⇒ When We Fail to Self-Advocate:

  • We feel invisible, unheard, or taken advantage of.
  • We let fear of rejection silence us or compromise our integrity.
  • We over-extend, over-give, over-promise, and over-serve in ways that deplete us.
  • We become resentful, expecting others to read our minds.

I provide examples of self-advocacy in the latest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.

Self-Definition: Choosing Who You Are on Your Own Terms

Self-definition is the ongoing process of deciding who you are based on your truth—not what society, family, traditions, or past conditioning has taught or told you to be.

⇒ When We Define Ourselves Authentically:

  • We are aware of our talents, gifts, identities, and values.
  • We feel at peace because we are living in alignment.
  • We stop shape-shifting or hustling for approval and validation.
  • We attract relationships and opportunities that align with our truth, values, and destiny.
  • We feel respected.

⇒ When We Let Others Define Us:

  • We burn out and become bitter because we are living a lie.
  • We feel lost or disconnected from our true selves.
  • We live on autopilot and let others make decisions about our careers, faith, politics, or money.
  • We feel like fakes, frauds, and failures because we live without integrity.

I provide examples of the latest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.

Self-Determination: Walking in Your Truth, Boldly

Self-determination is the power to act on your self-definition—to control your life, choices, and future.

⇒ When We Live with Self-Determination:

  • We feel powerful and in control of our lives. We control the controllable.
  • We move with intention, not regret, reaction, or restriction.
  • We stop waiting for permission or consensus and start leading our way.
  • We feel clear, courageous, and committed to ourselves.

⇒ When We Lack Self-Determination:

  • We drift through life, reacting instead of acting.
  • We struggle with consistency and follow-through.
  • We let external forces dictate our path, pace, people, and perspectives.
  • We blame others or our circumstances for not exploring options and moving forward.
  • We constantly make up excuses for not taking action.

Self-Sabotage: Self-Empowerment in Reverse

Self-sabotage is self-empowerment in reverse. It occurs when we unconsciously or consciously disrupt our own growth, success, or happiness. It is when we divert energy away from our dreams, destiny, and hopes.  Due to fear, doubt, or limiting beliefs, we acquiesce and give up without trying or without trying long enough.

⇒ When We Overcome Self-Sabotage:

  • We reclaim our energy and use it to follow through on our commitments and dreams.
  • We don’t run from fear; we embrace it.
  • We allow ourselves to receive success, love, and happiness.
  • We stop making excuses and start making moves.
  • We don’t settle for mediocrity; we step into our greatness.
  • We know self-sabotage often disguises itself as procrastination, perfectionism, avoidance, overthinking, fake humility, or negative self-talk.

⇒ When We Stay in Self-Sabotage:

  • We stall or remain stuck in toxic places and relationships.
  • We create unnecessary obstacles that block our own success.
  • We avoid hard work, we lack resilience, and we cancel out our dreams.
  • We never know how talented or capable we are.
  • We prioritize rationalizing – which means we tell ourselves “rational lies.”

My friend,  self-empowerment is the key to living life on your own terms. And it’s not a one-time thing—it’s a decision you make every day, especially in challenging times.

So, as a reminder:

  •  Advocate for yourself, so your needs will NOT be overlooked.
  • Define yourself, or others will define you.
  • Determine your path so you will not drift or feel coerced into making decisions that don’t support or suit you.
  • Recognize sabotage so you won’t hold yourself back from pursuing your dreams or activating your hope.

JOURNAL: How are these self-empowerment practices showing up in your life? How could your life change if you stepped more fully into self-empowerment?

If this message resonated with you, hit reply and share your thoughts with me. I would love to hear from you.

Please also forward this message to someone who needs a reminder of their power.

Remember, you can listen to the podcast on Apple Podcast or YouTube. And while you are there, please subscribe.

Let’s keep rising—together – as we empower ourselves so we can also empower others!

Blessings!

SharRon

Happy Black History Month

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My parents didn’t have much. They were just teenagers when they had my sister and me.

Yet, they gave me something valuable. They taught me to love myself and reinforced my self-worth in a culture that insisted that I was nothing, dirty, and worthless.

They exposed me to the power, the brilliance, and the beauty of Black people. They made sure that I knew Black people were not just slaves. And most of all, my Dad made sure that I understood that history books strategically and willfully omitted the truth about Black contributions to perpetuate the myth of white supremacy and superiority.

I am so grateful to my parents. Because even when White teachers told me I was dumb and even when white kids bullied and degraded me, there was a sweet knowing in my soul that I was royalty.

My parents made sure that I knew I was powerful, valuable, and worthy of respect. They shared stories that challenged the many lies I learned in history books so that I would remember that I was the descendants of a royal people who were inventors, innovators, leaders, and wisdom-givers.

That sweet knowing gave me the power to endure adversity, violence, and abuse from teachers and students. From kindergarten through second grade, I was kicked in the back, spat on in the face, hit in the head with a chair by a teacher, pushed down steps, punched in the stomach, and consistently called nigger by my classmates…..all before I entered the 3rd grade.

I was humiliated daily, and at times, I found it difficult to learn. Even today, I still cry for the younger me who was forced to endure so much pain while adults – teachers, school nurses, and principals – looked the other way. To White adults, constant violence and abuse were warranted. Why? Because my parents enrolled me in “their” schools.

I was wounded, but praise God, my wounds didn’t win. Praise God that my parents gave me the ammunition to neutralize and challenge the lies that tried to confine me to a life of mediocrity, misery, and marginalization. Praise God for the Black Churches that taught scripture and Black History side by side so that Black children would know that we had a place in God’s Kindom ( not kingdom…patriarchy has no place in my life).

Happy Black History Month!

And during this precious but short month, I pray all people will take the time to learn, discover, and remember the truth about the wealth, brilliance, beauty, tenacity, diversity, and love found in the histories, experiences, and lives of Black people.

Blessings!

Hurray For New Beginnings!

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It’s benediction time!

When you think of the word benediction, you probably think of religious rituals.

But benedictions are not only for religion; they are also expressions of appreciation and respect delivered at significant endings to signify the beginning of another sacred journey.

Benedictions are holy and cherished because they allow us to acknowledge all the pain and trials we have endured and the triumphs and successes we have enjoyed.

And as we reflect and review all we have experienced, we celebrate and offer praise. We open our hearts and minds with great anticipation, knowing that whatever is being birthed in us and through us will catapult us into a higher dimension of destiny.

A few days ago, I offered a few benedictions in my life. I offered prayers of gratitude and said a few goodbyes over several identities that served the old me. I thanked those identities for helping me navigate some tumultuous times in my life and honored the power, perspective, and promotions that those identities helped me achieve.

I also offered benedictions over a few relationships that had run their course so I could SOAR unencumbered by the weight of performing, proving, and people-pleasing.

I said some farewells to some outdated beliefs that I needed to retire because they no longer offered guidance, truth, or illumination.

I also gave some Holy Ghost sendoffs to some old wounds that kept me triggered, hypervigilant, and constantly agitated so that I could enjoy more peace.

Offering those benedictions was a powerful “spiritual shedding” that commemorated a rebirth, called for spiritual reclamation, and served as a sacred closure.

And now I feel more empowered to dare to soar higher, fortified by a new awareness, a fresh spiritual anointing, and a bolder inner advocate to make my dreams come true.

So this weekend, look at your life and identify what needs a benediction, a sacred closing.

Determine if your career, job, relationship, identity, belief, or faith tradition no longer serves you, and say goodbye for good.

By offering words of thanksgiving and sincere gratitude for what went right, what went wrong, and what didn’t go as planned, you can release the past and walk into your future EMPTY, waiting and willing to be filled and fulfilled with goodness, greatness, and grace.

The good news is, when you offer heartfelt benedictions, they don’t need to be deep or complicated.

You can say something like….Thank you for what you taught me, brought me, and gave me. Or……May the strength of God sustain me as I go forth with the lessons I gained, the wisdom I earned, and the power I reclaimed.

Whatever you say from your heart is enough because benedictions are deeply personal.

A few days ago, after I gave my benedictions, I was inspired to create a workshop to address the power of fresh beginnings.

This workshop, Creating A Path to More Freedom, Fulfillment & Flow with Ease, is definitely for you if you know you need to say goodbye to a few things but need help discerning what needs to be released so you can soar. Click here.

During the workshop, I will share seven key questions that will help you determine what needs a benediction so you can welcome all the life-nourishing opportunities that God has in store just for you!

Click here to register.

Remember, offer a benediction so you can walk through 2022 with great expectations of peace, joy, love, ease, and abundance.

Blessings,

SharRon

You can’t choose where you are chained

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog, Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on You can’t choose where you are chained

My elders used to tell me that “ you can’t choose when you are chained.”

This message still resonates with me today and I constantly ask myself — “what am I unknowingly chained to that is compromising my values, voice, and vision.”

Not only do I vigorously interrogate my life, in my work with leaders, visionaries, healers, and entrepreneurs, I help them question their lives too.

I help them identify the mental, social, spiritual, emotional, systemic, and cultural chains that unconsciously block them from pursuing their desires and dreams.

I also help them see ways that old and invisible chains are shrinking, compromising, and sabotaging their lives in ways that bring unnecessary struggle, endless sacrifices, and mind-numbing box-checking.

The work I do with people is life-changing because, honestly, people rarely realize how they are chained to careers, identities, traditions, beliefs, and relationships that rob them of peace, power, and purpose.

The unfortunate truth is, some folks have lived with their “chains” for so long that they have normalized scarcity, boredom, mediocrity, and people-pleasing.

Some have even idolized some of their “chains” and endlessly condemn, judge, and harm people, sometimes in the name of God.

Of course, it’s difficult to see our own chains, but it is not impossible.

So, this week, reflect on your life.

Identify what may be “chaining” you and preventing you from living a life that embodies your values, honors your purpose, and addresses your deepest needs.

Identify what small shifts can liberate you from standards, protocols, and a few people, so you can metaphorically breathe new air, build new relationships, break unhealthy habits, and bury toxic traditions.

And if you need support, please email me. Having a fresh perspective can help you see what’s blocking you from soaring in every dimension of your life.

Listen to the message on YouTube.

You can’t choose if you are chained, so GET FREE!

 

 

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

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Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption:  All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope. 

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon

Finding Your Real Self In A World Of Sameness

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Sometimes we hide so long that we cannot remember who we really are.

So, who are you? Do you know?

Look in the mirror and re-introduce yourself to yourself.

Remove the masks, make-up, money, mess, messages, and material stuff that obscure your essence.

Step out of the shadows and step away from your public plastic personas.

Pull off the veil of insecurity, inadequacy, and insufficiency.

As my Sister @alexokoroji would say, get naked.

Now, look! See your beauty!

Inhale your magnificence! Marvel at your splendor!

Imagine possibilities! Celebrate your body!

Ask yourself questions! Listen to your soul.

Step outside of the social constructs that confine you to mediocrity.

Push behind and beyond the biases and stereotypes that undermine you.

Speak to your heart. Clear your mind.

Honor the God in you! Look!!!

Look deeply!!! Look with expectation.

Now, that is YOU!!!❤️❤️❤️

What do you think of YOU now?

Are you ready to SOAR HIGHER than you have ever SOARED before?

It’s time to SOAR Higher!

What’s Blocking You? – Part 2

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actionHave you ever felt as if you were stuck in a rut? I have. There have been times in my life when I have felt stuck, cemented and confined by people, policies, places and positions.  A few times I felt so emotionally trapped by routines, responsibilities and relationships that I stopped growing, learning, loving and living.  I was emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually sinking, and I was sinking fast.

Thankfully some wonderful coaches and counselors helped me change the trajectory of my life and now almost 25 years later, I have learned a few things.   I have learned that self-reflection is the first step to personal transformation. Yes, I learned that I had to learn more about me. I learned that I had to learn who I was devoid of expectations, fears, traditions, norms and facades. I had to discover who I was outside of what everybody else wanted me to be.   Trust me, that was difficult; it required peeling back layers of my personality that I never knew existed.

For me, self-reflection was a painstaking process because I had to take off the masks and remove my disguises; I could no longer hide. I also had to stop acting, and the funny thing was —  I didn’t know that I was even acting. I thought my beliefs and behavior were self-directed; I soon realized that they were not. I realized that my beliefs and behavior were influenced by whole lot of people who didn’t know me, care about, support me or even like me. Yikes! What a wake-up call!

During my self-discovery journey, I was forced to analyze my history to identify patterns, themes and the orgins of my bad behavior. I had to understand why I  sabotaged my success, happiness, relationships and health. I was forced to evaluate my perspectives and define my truth, and honestly 25 years ago, I didn’t know I even had a truth. Imagine that.

I am not alone; many people are and have been in the same boat. Many people today are struggling or have struggled to understand themselves. Some, like I did, have and continue to struggle to find their purpose, accept their calling or even understand the need for transformation. Most successful people I know have been to THE place, the place of truth that helped them jump-start their journeys of personal transformation.  I call THAT place “Blessings at the Bottom” (Chapter 39 in I Have Learned A Few Things)

Yes, most of us have been to that the scary, unfamiliar and agonizing place that demanded that we become more self-aware.  I am sure that we all can agree that THE place is a challenging place but it is also an exciting place. It is a place of great promise, great purpose, great clarity and of great relief. During THAT place, we were forced to look closer, deeper and broader at the choices that we made or honestly consider the choices that we were failing to make. We removed our defenses and we became emotionally transparent to ourselves; we didn’t hide from our histories, failures, mistakes and secrets.  We became self-aware and as result, we were ready to embark on our new journeys, our journeys of personal transformation.

As we learned in the previous post, self-AWARENESS is the first step toward personal transformation. After you conduct a full life inventory and commit to continuous self-discovery, the second step on the road to personal transformation is ACTION. Yes, ACTION! If you want a different life, you must make changes; you must do something and many times, do a lot of “somethings” differently. As we say in the South, “you just can’t talk about it, you got to be about it”.

But even though we know we must do something, it is the “doing” that scares us the most. It is the “doing” that keeps up stuck, stagnant and stale in our lives. It is the “doing” that seems insurmountable, unfathomable and just down right undoable.  It is the “doing” that reveals our fears, unravels our resolve and makes us abandon our dreams. It is the “doing” that frequently stops us or makes us settle for relationships that are unfulfilling, jobs that are underpaying and lives that are unsatisfying. The “doing”, the failure to take action, is what limits our successes and negates our future.

actionchangesthings

So how do we address the “doing” so that it feels doable? I don’t know all of the answers but I have a few thoughts.

  • Get clear about what you want and who you want to be; determine your compelling WHY. Your WHY will create your vision, and your vision will guide and direct you. For example, when I started my healing journey, my WHY was that I no longer wanted to feel yucky inside. I was tired of feeling small, silent, suffocated and sidetracked. My WHY was not elaborate or deep; it was just honest.  More importantly, at the time that was all I could articulate but it was a great start. What’s your WHY?
  • Identify the resources that you already have and identify what you are already know. When I started my personal transformation, I knew that I had some money and I knew that I needed therapy. I knew that my prolonged feelings of malaise and sadness were not normal. I didn’t know too much more than that but knowing those few things was critical to me moving forward in my life.  So what do you already have and what do you already know?
  • Take a step, make a call, start a class, join a group or find support. I would say read a book but I have learned that reading books in isolation is never enough for sustained growth. Books provide concepts but an activity, practice or coaching provides the application. And to make the changes that you want in your life, you need both concepts and application. Just think about. You can read a book about swimming all day long but until you jump in the pool do you know if you can really swim? The same principle applies when learning new life skills. So, what are you doing to use, practice, apply or implement the knowledge that you are learning?
  • Don’t worry about understanding all the details. You may never know all of the details before you start a business, pursue your dreams or embark on a healing journey. Learn as much as you can and get started. No, don’t be reckless or careless; be calculating, prudent and analytical. But after you obtain as much information as you can, MOVE, DO, GO, BE, and TRY! Take action…..bold action. As you take a few steps toward your goals, more information, resources and support will show up. Trust me…I have been there.
  • Only focus on 3 – 5, preferably only 3, things that you want to improve or change at one time. Some coaches may disagree with me on this. However, from working with all types of clients, I have learned that personal transformation is challenging, and trying to do too much at once often becomes overwhelming. And what do overwhelmed people routinely do? They procrastinate or they QUIT! So, honor yourself. Organize your life and focus on a few things so you don’t fall out, fall down and fall asleep. Trust me, it happens.
  • Remember that success is a process, and sometimes a messy process. This weekend one of my mentors said something that resonated in my spirit. He said that “sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. Wow…as we say in the Christian faith –  that was an on-time word. That phrase freed me! I now feel more creative, more committed and more courageous to pursue my own dreams. That little phrase empowered and embolden me to Soar Higher!

I encourage you to take Action! Never forget that motion motivates, activates and elevates. So get started because today is the first day of the rest of your life. And, don’t forget to get some support on your journey. If you need coaching or assistance, please feel free to call the Jamison Group.  We would love to provide you with support and guidance as you embark on your new life.

Always remember to DARE to SOAR HIGHER because You are ALWAYS worth your best!

(Reprinted from my upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few Things About Success)

Blessings,

SharRon

What’s Blocking You?

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on What’s Blocking You?

self awareness

Have you ever thought about what’s really blocking you in your life? No, really. Have you thought about why you continue to stay in a joyless, sexless and unfulfilling relationship? Or, why you continue to work an unrewarding, unsatisfying and low-paying job? Or, why you continue to associate with people who have low goals, no goals or no guts? Or, why you participate in organizations that demonize, disappoint or degrade you and others? Or, why you associate with people who are envious of you and secretly covet your life? Have you truly thought about those things?

To be honest, I really did not consider those questions myself until one day I woke up and realized that I was lost. I woke up and found myself confused about my career, puzzled about my purpose, baffled by my relationship, mystified by my faith and confounded by the choices that I was FAILING to make. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that I was not making decisions at all; I was just letting life happen. I was not choosing anything; I was settling for whatever and whomever came in my life. And boy, did I settle. I sold myself short personally and professionally.

But thankfully, I have learned that living and creating a fulfilling life required that I make decisions. Yes, living a satisfying life required me to participate fully in the life process even when I didn’t feel equipped, qualified or confident enough to make informed choices. Even when I didn’t want to or feel up to it, I learned that I had to be the leader, director, and organizer of my life; I had to be the boss of me. Prepared or not, I learned that I had to guide, manage and love myself enough to make decisions that helped me SOAR.

Those decisions are not always easy to make and sometimes the options are less than desirable. But being the boss is not always easy and not making a decision is really a decision too. Something to consider right?

My clients often ask me the same question, “How do I become the boss of me?”  It is a simple question, but simple questions rarely have simple answers. But here is what I offer.

know thyself

I first tell my clients, who I call my teachers, to become AWARE. I encourage them to be become AWARE of what moves them, soothes them, angers them, motivates them, stresses them, relieves them, inspires them, etc.  I advise them to conduct a monthly and sometimes a weekly self-inventory to learn what makes them tick, sick and stick. I encourage them to find out what makes them uncomfortable and then fully explore that discomfort. I hope I inspire them to learn what brings them peace, growth and liberation so that they can “live” in that space for the rest of their lives. Finally, I encourage them to get quiet and still so that they can hear the whispers from their souls because that is where our truth lies.

Becoming aware and staying aware won’t be easy, especially with all of the distractions that vie for our attention and challenge our minds. But I implore you to try. Try to be become more AWARE of the amazing person you already are, and try to stay committed to growing into the more amazing person you hope to be.  Because once you become aware, you will better appreciate who you are, recognize your full potential, discern what’s good and who is good for your spirit, and transform your life into greater abundance.

Awareness is the first step.  I look forwarding to sharing the other 4 steps in the coming weeks. So stay tuned.

I wish you success on your journey to greater AWARENESS. You can do it! I know you can. We are on this journey together.

If you are interested in working with me to gain more self AWARENESS, please contact me.  I am always here to support and serve you!

Blessings to you always and remember to DARE To SOAR HIGHER!

SharRon