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Tag: diversity and equity

Gatkekeepers Have Big EGOs But Little Power When You Are Rooted!

Last year, someone thought they could block my progress and prevent me from achieving one of my goals. They thought they had the power to determine my destiny. Wrong!

I know people have also tried to block your process because we all have gatekeepers in our lives. We all have people at our jobs, communities, and families who think they can control our destiny and dictate our futures.

That’s why being grounded in who you are is essential! When you know who you are and what you need, you don’t let gatekeepers stop you from pursuing your goals. You find a way to do what you feel called to do!

So how does being grounded in who you are – BEING ROOTED TO RISE – neutralize dream-blocking gatekeepers?

There are many ways, and I have listed the top 5 ways below.

1. Authentic Self-Presentation: Being rooted to rise helps you feel comfortable in your own skin. Remember, gatekeepers thrive on inconsistency and insecurity. But when you are consistent and comfortable in your own skin, you are more creative, resilient, and courageous. You show up as your fully empowered self, anchored in your identity, confident in your talents, and grounded in your integrity.

2. Confidence in Decision-Making: Being rooted to rise gives you confidence to make choices that align with your values and vision. When gatekeepers challenge your path or try to undermine your integrity, your confidence enables you to stand firm in your convictions and be stable in your pursuit.

3. Resilience in the Face of Rejection: Being rooted to rise helps you deal with rejection. It reminds you that rejection does not determine your worth or reflect your competence.  And when you don’t view rejection as a roadblock, you appreciate that rejection is only redirection to something better and greater.

4. Clear Sense of Purpose: Being rooted to rise provides a clear sense of purpose. With a strong sense of purpose, you will have the strength and motivation to persist despite the odds.  Remember, gatekeepers have big egos but little internal power. So, when guided by purpose, you will always have the courage and ingenuity to find new routes and create options to achieve your goals.

5. Genuine Connections: Being rooted to rise helps you build genuine connections with mentors, advocates, and allies. Having confidantes and colleagues to support and sponsor you is a powerful strategy to limit the impact of gatekeepers.  Remember, genuine relationships can open doors that gatekeepers can’t block.

The bottom line is this: when you are armed with self-knowledge and empowered by your innate wisdom, you can create a life that aligns with your values, needs, and aspirations…..despite the gatekeepers, naysayers, or haters.

REMEMBER: Stay Rooted & Watch Yourself Rise!

Have a great week!

Blessings,

SharRon

Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back To Yourself

Do you realize since birth, you have been gradually “un-rooted” from your true identity?

Instead of being supported into becoming your highest authentic Self, you have been shaped into what people felt you should be or could be. Little by little, you were molded to be more socially acceptable, predictable, and controllable, with little regard for how you were divinely wired to win or destined to live.

“Un-rooting” you wasn’t always malicious or intentional, but it was constant.

Education, religion, traditions, culture, gender norms, and social expectations…. all forced you into cultural boxes and disconnected you from your wisdom, gifts, and truth.

And now, even though you may be successful or accomplished, you still may not be YOU — your whole, undiluted you! You still might feel at odds with your true nature and out of alignment with your soul.

I know that being rooted and getting re-rooted can be difficult. Removing and identifying the habits, beliefs, and patterns blocking you from being “at home with yourself” is a process. But by reconnecting with your intuition, strength, and beauty and honoring your values, feelings, and dreams, you can live more honestly and freely. You can feel firmly anchored in your inner authority and truth, giving you the power to follow your conscience and your calling, not the crowd.

I realize I am NOT telling you something you don’t already know. Even when your mind doesn’t know you are out of sync, your body and soul know you are not aligned. Your inner champion knows when you need a change, a renewal, and a reclamation to root into your own innate wisdom and selfhood.

That’s why in Rooted To Rise: A Journey BackTo Yourself, we provide the safety and support you need to return home to your true Self – a self you left behind to fit into society’s boxes. We give you new tools and deeper insight on re-rooting yourself so you can return to the truth of who you are  AND make decisions that honor the real you, not the curated you.

For decades, I rejected the truth of who I knew I was. However, once I reclaimed and honored the parts of myself that society told me to throw away, I created a life of meaning, peace, and a sense of freedom.  Most importantly, my health improved, and I renewed my spiritual practices, which helped me experience inner peace.

The authentic YOU is waiting for you to RISE and SOAR in every dimension of your life. Are you ready?

We start on Feb. 24, and I hope to see you there!

Blessings!

 

SharRon

What An Ex-Priest Taught Me About Being Honest & Free!

First, thank you so much for reading last week’s newsletter. I am so grateful that it resonated with so many of you. I received many comments acknowledging that what I shared spoke to your heart! I also received copies of journal entries, pictures of vision boards, and soul-enriching poems! Hearing from you made my heart sing and nourished my soul. Thank you!

Today, I want to share a story about one of my clients because he is a courageous cycle-breaker, self-advocate, and visionary like you.

I can’t share his name yet, but he’s an ex-priest. What’s interesting is that he never really wanted to be a priest. Never! As a child, he enjoyed the Catholic Church, the pageantry of rituals, and learning about God. He was also active in the community and the local diocese but never saw himself as part of the clergy.

However, since he was deeply involved in the church, his family thought he should become a priest. Even though he complied with their wishes, he instinctively knew that being a priest was the wrong career decision for him. But he didn’t know how to say no. Also, saying no was difficult because he was conflicted. On the one hand, he loved how the community affirmed and praised him for his decision. On the other hand, the validation and expectations made him feel like a prisoner trapped by the community’s needs.

So, for years, he dedicated his entire life to training for a profession he didn’t enjoy and felt ill-suited for. He went to the seminary, got mentored by older priests, and was ordained. But the closer he got to taking his final vows for the priesthood, the more dread and trapped he felt.

Eventually, his anxiety became too overwhelming, and he realized that going against his intuition was starting to negatively affect his spiritual and physical well-being. And with all the courage he could muster, he told his family he had changed his mind and was leaving the church. And boy, his family was furious about his decision. They questioned his faith, his mental soundness, and his commitment to God. My client’s family also told him that he was an embarrassment to the family and community and that leaving the priesthood was shameful.

Despite not being consistently active in the Catholic Church themselves, his family strongly criticized his decision to leave the priesthood. According to my client, how his family responded was cruel, judgmental, and hypocritical…his words, not mine.

Thankfully, my client left the priesthood and is now restructuring his life. His relationship with his family is still a bit strained, but he’s happy and relieved.  He’s dating, starting a business, and considering starting a support group for ex-clergy members.

I share this story to encourage you to look at your own life to see if you are living authentically and to ensure you are deeply rooted in your selfhood. Because when you are deeply rooted in who you are, you won’t erase parts of your identity or abandon your dreams to fit into roles that rob you of fulfillment. You won’t choose professions you are ill-equipped for, date people you are not compatible with, and allow others to dictate critical life choices. You will stay “near to yourself,” never neglecting or betraying your dreams, intuition, needs, and purpose.

Thankfully, my client was able to reclaim his life, and he continues to journey back home to himself. And if you need to return home to yourself or re-fortify yourself in your truth, please join me for Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home to Yourself.

Because when you are at home with your truth and when you reclaim all of who you are, you will live a happier, more honest life. You will have fewer regrets, enjoy more peace, and experience more fulfillment personally and professionally.

I share my client’s story and 4 key insights that may help you on your journey. Click here to listen to the community podcast or YouTube. After you listen, share your thoughts.

I hope to see you in Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home To Yourself.

But if you can’t attend, please stay close because I look forward to sharing more stories and tips to help you be who you were uniquely created to be so you can DARE TO SOAR HIGHER in every dimension of your life.

Please reply to this message and let me know your thoughts.

If you missed last week’s blog, please click here. 

Blessings!

SharRon

Embracing MORE in 2024!

What a year!

2023 was a year of paradoxes.  Up and Downs! Contradictions and Consistencies! Set-backs and Set-ups!  Joy and Pain! Mountaintop Moments and Valley Lows! Inclusion and Exclusion! Happiness and Horror!

But despite the individual and collective polarities we have experienced and witnessed in 2023, I am still convinced that goodness will prevail. I believe we ALL still have the power to change the world for our common good. I still know that we ALL are bright lights, and we can illuminate the darkness that robs us of our shared humanity.  Even though I am shocked, angry, and grieved about some of the trauma happening in the world, I am also STILL resolved, empowered, and committed to work for change.

Why?

First, I am grateful for my life!

Also….I still believe in US – you and me!

So, as we embark on a new year, I hope and pray that:

You can keep making the right choices for yourself even when the choices feel risky.

You keep speaking up for yourself and others even when finding the right words is difficult.

You keep standing up for yourself and others even if you stand on shaky legs.

You keep seeing the best in yourself and others, even if you must strain to see beyond your biases, constant propaganda, and great complexities.

You keep raising your hand to advocate for yourself and others, even when others act like they don’t see you or hear you.

You keep walking your own path even if the path is unclear, uncharted, and unconventional.

You keep listening to your heart and the wisdom of your ancestors even if you must ignore the crowd and leave long-term relationships.

You keep holding onto your faith even if you must cling tighter than you’ve ever clung to an unwavering hope in a Higher Power.

You keep protecting your integrity even when you are tempted to compromise who you are and what you believe for perks, power, and privileges.

You keep saying “no” even when saying “yes” is more comfortable, convenient, and profitable.

You keep establishing boundaries to protect and promote your health, healing, and wholeness, even when others call you divisive, selfish, or standoffish.

You keep making rest and restoration priorities, even though society keeps telling you that rest is earned and reserved for others who don’t look like you.

You keep learning history so you can appreciate the lived experiences of others, courageously confront your assumptions, and value differences in ways that honor and restore the humanity and dignity of others.

You prioritize your total health so that your mind, body, spirit, and soul get the nourishment you need to be the happiest, healthiest, and highest version of yourself.

You stay rooted in your truth while remaining open to new ideas so that you can evolve and transform without guilt, pressure, or fear.

You keep loving yourself even when your mistakes and memories fill you with shame, feelings of inferiority, and crippling doubt.

You keep choosing and working for justice even when the world keeps misleading you to believe in the policies of “JUST-US.”

You keep creating ways to generate income and financial freedom for yourself and your family so you don’t have to subject yourself to the soul-draining effects of assimilation, code-switching, microaggressions, and other types of corporate trauma.

You keep dreaming even when your current reality convinces you that your dreams are pointless, too big, or beyond your ability.

You keep hearing, prioritizing, and honoring your intuition, insight, instincts, and inner voice so you know what to do and when to do it.

You keep taking value-inspired action, so you don’t have to live with the pain of regret.

You keep reclaiming, reconnecting, and remembering parts of yourself that you left behind to fit into unwelcoming and unsupported places.

I hope you can keep DOING YOU – courageously, unapologetically, and effortlessly because you believe in YOUR FREEDOM, identity, humanity, and joy.

I am praying….

I am praying, dreaming, and hoping for all of us. I am praying because we – YOU AND ME – are essential to the world. The world needs us, and we need the world. We need each other to be more human and humane.

What I know for sure is that there is so much more in store for you.

There is so much more in store for me.

There is so much more in store for the world.

And if we dare to soar higher than everything we have been taught, told, seen, or experienced, we can create a safer, saner, more equitable world. And when we do that, we can create spaces to thrive and experience a little heaven on Earth.

Blessings to you!

I wish you a Happy and Healthy New Year!

SharRon,

The Dare To Soar Mentor and Strategist

P.S. Remember to download your 2023 Year-End Review Booklet.

 

Success Is A Personal Thing!

Success is such a personal thing. Yes, it’s personal!

Success is what YOU want for your life, and you must CREATE it.

Now, it won’t be easy because sometimes, success requires you to tear down or strategically quit something you spent time, money, and energy making or cultivating.  And leaving something you invested in is hard, even when you know happiness and relief are right around the corner.

Sometimes, success also requires you to analyze and compare incomes with outcomes.  Or demand that you compare inputs to outputs. Or require you to make additions and subtractions. Success, however you define it, requires you to take inventory of your choices and make adjustments to advance.  Whew!

The truth is that creating something new or more satisfying is not easy; it’s a layered process that requires wisdom and a plan. And the plan has to be agile enough to allow pivots, pauses, and changes in perspective because the “success” journey is about self-discovery. You will learn more about your gifts, talents, and intuition with every new step you take toward your dreams.

So….despite the discomfort, when it is time to move, shift, and restructure parts of your life, you must take action. You must take small steps in the direction of your dreams and vision. If not, you will forfeit your ability to express your essence. And most of all, you will delay your own happiness and fulfillment. Yes, YOU!  Remember, you are in charge and responsible for creating the life you want to live.

Just for the record… Everyone will NOT be happy when you make changes to pursue your dream. Some folks will even gossip about you.

But trust me, the people who will have the most to say about your choices never really supported you, anyway. Not really!  Why? People deeply invested in your happiness encourage and support you when you take risks. Also, people who really know you realize when you are not happy or playing small and anticipate you making changes to enrich your life. That’s a fact!

So, as a new month starts and another year comes quickly to a close, look at your life. Evaluate your relationships. Assess your business. Examine your career. Think about how you treat your body, your most important asset.

And, then, change what no longer works for you so you can position yourself for your future.

Change whatever needs to be changed to align your body, mind, and soul so you can:

  • Produce more fruit in your career, business, & purpose.
  • Be more faithful to your goals, values, vision, and health.
  • Have more focus on the things that matter.
  • Love and spend time with friends and REAL supporters.
  • Create a deeply-connected family that provides unconditional acceptance and support.
  • Experience deeper fulfillment in ways that feel nourishing.
  • Stay fluid so you can change when your circumstances or needs change.
  • Deepen your faith so you have a higher and closer relationship to a Higher Power.
  • Strengthen your foundation so you can weather storms and “hold” success without faltering.

Remember, success is personal! It’s not just about achievement, accolades, positions, money, or status. Sometimes, success is about YOUR peace, rest, purpose, and deep-bellied laughter with loved ones.

If creating success on your own terms resonates, join me and other brave souls in 2024 for a few life-enriching, soul-nourishing events.

You’ll not only gain life-transforming strategies and profound insights to craft your own definition of success, but you’ll also leave with an unwavering determination to fulfill your soul’s deepest desires.

Click here to get on my mailing list.

In the meantime, keep making success personal, so you can live a life that makes YOUR heart sing.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

The Dare To Soar Higher Strategist

Don’t Let Your Village Cloud Your Vision

There will always be people in your life who will NOT and cannot SEE you!

Even if they work with you, live with you, worship with you, or train with you, they may overlook or minimize your brilliance because they are so tethered to stereotypes, labels, or their own understanding of who you are.

Do you know the type?

You tell them what you were called to do, and faster than a New York minute, they will attempt to discourage you.

They will provide reasons why your vision is too large, too unattainable, too risky, and too beyond who they think you are, to be realized.

When you continue to pursue your purpose without their approval and support, they will up the ante. They will use guilt to dissuade you, rejection to coerce you, and the fear of abandonment to intimidate you.

When you are not deterred by their mean-spirited antics or their empty advice (which is really thinly disguised envy), they start smear campaigns to discredit you or to discount your ideas.

👉🏾 Don’t be alarmed. Don’t retaliate. Don’t despair.

Recognize that your current village may not have the capacity to appreciate your future vision.

Recognize that you have changed and your desires and aspirations no longer align with the places that reared you.

Recognize that your birthing place has become a prison and that you MUST leave in order to bloom and build your new life.

Remember…you have a vision, which may require a new village.

Your newfound creativity may demand new comrades, collaborations, and colleagues.

That was and is my story. I bet it was your story, too.

That’s why in I DARE TO BE ME, we talk honestly about friendships, connections, and mutuality.

We honestly and courageously explore the importance of aligned partnerships that support your purpose.

🔗 Join the “I Dare To Ne Me” Waitlist by clicking here.

I look forward to sharing more about how fruitful friendships provide the safety, sustenance, and support you need to soar.

It’s your time to SOAR Higher, and having the right relationships will help you easily take flight.

Thank you, Pastor Dr. Kenneth Lee Samuel, for helping us understand the critical connection between villages and visions.

Bet On Yourself, Not A System!

Therapist: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

Me: What systems? How am I betting on them?

Tears still come to my eyes when I think of this painful conversation. I still feel sad when I remember struggling to prove myself in an unsupportive corporate environment.

For years, I did everything to demonstrate my competency, creativity, and proficiency. And I knew people saw my value because they consistently stole my work, ideas, and strategies. But despite being trusted to train and unofficially lead others, I was repeatedly told I wasn’t “ready” for leadership roles. In other words, I was good enough to “labor” but not lead.

After being overlooked for yet another leadership position, I emotionally crashed. And during one of my therapy sessions, my therapist — a powerful Black woman – asked me a critical question that changed my life: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

For years, I had been in therapy with white counselors (they accepted my health insurance) but had never been asked about the impact of systems on my well-being. Never! There were no conversations about bias, being excluded, being overlooked, being talked over, being dismissed, or being disrespected. Even though I shared many details of my work environment, I was never asked questions about systems, racism, sexism, or any other isms.

Thankfully, I finally found a Black therapist who deeply connected with me. Tenderly, she asked me questions that made me feel genuinely heard and understood. Because of her own experiences, she never questioned my experiences or realities. She didn’t ask for painful examples or embarrassing details that made me feel more ashamed. She didn’t pepper me with questions to devalue or discount the effects of ongoing corporate abuse. She KNEW!

During my sessions with her,  she gently explained how I unknowingly colluded with harmful historical systems and narratives that robbed me of my agency, health, and self-respect. And through her wisdom, love, and spiritually infused strategies, I started a powerful healing journey. I began to learn and unlearn messages that made me doubt my value, ability, and brilliance. Most importantly, I began to remember and believe in the power of MY story, identity, and ancestral wisdom.

The healing process was painful and layered, yet soul-nourishing. Gradually, I started regaining my confidence, joy, and self-respect. I regained my agency and began working differently and more courageously with colleagues and saboteurs.  I also began reimagining my future as a Black professional and realized I had enormous potential that didn’t need to be validated by corporations.

My life-changing experience with a therapist who understood oppression and the sting of microaggressions – which are NOT micro at all – was one reason I started creating safe places for other Black women and women of color. I wanted to provide loving sanctuaries where women could grieve without judgment and grow without fear. I wanted to create spaces where women felt honored, celebrated, and affirmed—places where women didn’t need to compete or spiritually exhaust themselves to be seen or witnessed.

The truth is, when I entered corporate America, I unknowingly bet on a system because I didn’t know any better. For the first 10 years of my career, I played by the written rules of success, not the unspoken paths.  Why? I was the first person in my family to work in corporate settings and didn’t know what it meant to bet on myself in corporate environments. Honestly, I just didn’t know how to navigate or advocate for myself; I wasn’t taught the political games.  In the early 1990s and even today, there were few mentors, sponsors, or allies willing to extend a hand to support people who looked like me.

If you feel you are betting on a system instead of seeing your brilliance, I would love to help. For over 25 years, I have worked with some amazing women and have helped them rethink, retool, and reimagine their careers in ways that honored their souls.

I am still in corporate America and doing work I enjoy. But because I see myself differently and fully – I see myself BEYOND the limitations of systems –  I have also been able to build a successful business, write books, coach executives, serve as a minister in a progressive congregation, and help some big-hearted people DARE TO SOAR HIGHER in every aspect of their lives.

Bet ON YOURSELF!

You have everything you need encoded and loaded in your DNA to create a soul-nourishing career inside and outside organizations.

BET ON YOURSELF!

You got this!

Blessings!

SharRon

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

Success Is Never About Knowing More Stuff; Success Is About Knowing More of SELF

Some people spend their entire lives learning how to follow rules, how to hide their identities, and how to collude with the dominant culture to get ahead in the world.

They learn how to perform, please, and produce for others, but never learn how to pursue their own dreams.

They don’t learn what excites their souls, what ignites their hearts, or what delights their bodies.

They don’t learn how to resist peer pressure, how to reclaim their agency, or how to reposition their goals.

They never learn how to value their own history, how to respect their voice, or how to settle their spirit.

Honestly, some people never learn who they are or how to care for themselves. And so, they follow old templates, policies, and traditions that don’t align with their innate strengths, needs, or gifts.

They copy and comply with the status quo, never creating their own life or charting their own course.

They live decades, never interrogating their inherited beliefs or questioning why they feel so disconnected from themselves.

They live encumbered, weighed down by the expectations of the world, never tasting the sweetness of liberation.

The good news is, you are NOT most people.

You can choose to live differently just by asking yourself the following questions.

Questions…..

  • What do I know about myself – history, identities, and desires?
  • What lights me up?
  • What tickles my fancy?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • What truth do I need to admit to myself?
  • Why don’t I follow my heart or heed my own internal compass?
  • What will nourish my soul?
  • What are my talents and skills?
  • How has culture shaped my understanding of my place in the world?
  • What oppressive beliefs are undermining my ability to step into my full power?
  • How are my childhood beliefs informing my adulthood behavior?

Just a few questions can help alter the trajectory of your life.

What I know for sure is: Life gets easier when YOU accept the truth of who YOU are…the TRUTH Of SELF!

The TRUTH OF SELF is the key that unlocks all the doors of your life.

Do you know the TRUTH Of SELF?

If not, join me and other heart-centered visionaries for a six-month journey to learn more about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I Dare To BE ME is starting soon.

It’s time for you to know how valuable and talented you are so you can live your BEST LIFE!

See you soon!

 

 

The More We Know Community Show: Conversations Cultivating Change

Something magical happens when two Black women discuss the power of purpose.

Why?

We understand that following purpose is not easy in a culture that undervalues who we are.

In a culture that constantly bombards us with messages aimed at undermining our self-worth, self-value, and our sense of dignity, we know it takes courage and tenacity to believe in ourselves.

It takes a steadfast belief in our brilliance, sovereignty, and inner wisdom to defy that status quo and to confront the narrow, demeaning paradigms used to keep us informed, in debt, and in fear.

It takes deep self-trust, faith, optimism, and a community of other powerful women to hold space, to cheer us on, and to share their collective wisdom to break glass ceilings, challenge oppressive cultures, and disconnect from toxic religion.

Sylvia Bartley and I talk about these issues and more because we are committed to helping people, especially Black Women, fulfill their purpose, celebrate their gifts, and create legacies.

Please listen, share your thoughts, share the podcast with your friends, and write a review. We would love your support.

Thank you, Dr. Bartley, for offering such an inspirational gift to the world.

I SEE you, and I honor you.

Click here to listen.