The Power of SHIFT Support: Reframing Strength, Asking for Help, and Becoming Whole
I hope this message finds you well-rested in your body, nourished in your spirit, and deeply connected to those who help you feel seen, safe, and supported. We all need and deserve that kind of care in our lives, especially today. 💜
Family, recently, some friends and clients have shared that they are experiencing “life quakes” in their lives. Those moments can shake your very foundation and make you question your ability to make wise choices or stay aligned with your values. And you know what? I have been feeling the same way, as I am also navigating some significant transitions in my life.
Honestly, my recent life transitions have been taxing and have required a few favors from some trusted friends. And although I believe in the power of community and I value helping others, I still struggled when I asked for and received support. Admitting that I needed an extra set of hands, a ride from the hospital, or extensions on work deadlines felt uncomfortable and scary for me. So, if you’ve ever found it hard to reach out, you’re not alone. Many people struggle to ask for help, especially when they need it most.
For example, a few decades ago, when I was going through a divorce, I needed lots of help. I had just been promoted at work, and while I was managing everything extremely well on the outside, inside, I was unraveling. I didn’t know how to care for an energetic toddler, perform in a high-pressure job, manage a household, and still make space for my own heartbreak and healing. Family, the pressure was relentless, the loneliness was suffocating, and the shame of needing help but not knowing how to ask for it felt heavier than my responsibilities. Trust me; I was a hot mess!
But what caught me most off guard wasn’t just the new routines and the extensive to-do list. It was the emotional shifts I had to navigate as I tried to reinvent myself and accept my new identity as a single working mom. It was a crazy time, and I struggled to hold everything together for me and my son.
What I wish someone had told me then: Shifting is sacred but not simple.
It is not just the outer and logistical changes that challenge us. It is the emotional layers of grief, shame, fear, and uncertainty that spiritually and emotionally derail you. And when all that hits you at once, it can leave you feeling lost and questioning your worth, your strength, and your direction. Does this sound familiar?
Let’s say it together: SHIFTING IS HARD.
Whether starting over in a new city, changing careers, ending or beginning a relationship, buying a new home, adapting to a health diagnosis, experiencing a financial crisis, or grappling with your faith, any major life shift or life quake can overwhelm you.
And that is why we need something I call SHIFT Support—soulful, structured, gentle care that honors your heart, mind, and spirit. We need support that feels intentional and compassionate and provides wisdom, warmth, strategy, and soulfulness. We need a wise mentor who can journey with us so we feel aided, not judged, as we navigate the unknown. Most importantly, we need SHIFT Support that helps us move from barely surviving to slowly thriving, even when life gets messy. It is the kind of care that does not magically make the hard stuff disappear but makes challenges and burdens feel easier to bear.
So, if SHIFT Support is so important, why don’t we ask for it? And why don’t more people offer it?
Because we have been taught not to ask for it.
We were handed stories—passed down through generations—that told us to stay silent, sacrifice, and handle everything on our own.
We have internalized fears that tell us we are not enough, not ready, or not worthy of help.
We have seen and live within systems that tell us we do not have access to resources or lack the agency to make requests.
But here is the good news: those stories can be rewritten. Just because those messages were passed down to us does not mean we have to be limited or imprisoned by them. Those outdated stories do not have to become our truth or an imposed mandate.
You CAN ASK FOR HELP!
Yes, you do not have to shift alone. You do not have to shrink your needs to abide by society’s definition of “strong.” You can choose a different path and perspective. You can ask for what you need. You can learn to receive compassionate, caring support without feeling guilty, weak, or unworthy.
On the latest episode of the podcast Deciding to Soar: Living Life Your Own Way, I shared more about SHIFT Support, why transitions are emotionally taxing, and how you can be kinder to yourself when experiencing life transitions. Please listen, and I hope my words resonate with you. You can listen on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.
And if you know in your heart that you need SHIFT Support right now, I have private, confidential session openings this summer and would be honored to work with you.
Listen now on YouTube or Apple Podcasts and start receiving the support you deserve.
In the meantime, here are some affirmations to say out loud when you are struggling to ask for help.
🌿 3 Affirmations to Remind You That You Are Worthy of Help
- I am not a burden. I am a blessing, and my healing deserves support.
- Even when I’m not at my best, I desire and deserve care.
- Asking for help doesn’t diminish my power; it deepens it.
- Asking for help is not weakness; it’s wisdom wrapped in courage.
🔄 3 Affirmations to Challenge Inherited Beliefs
- I release the need to suffer in silence to prove my strength.
- I prefer assistance more than I want to endure agony.
- My worth is not measured by how much I sacrifice or struggle.
- I can honor my family’s past without repeating their pain.
💭 3 Affirmations to Confront Internal Fears
- I am becoming, not breaking.
- I am worthy of support and making requests for assistance.
- I don’t need to have everything together to feel safe, supported, and seen.
- My fear is loud, but my truth is louder, and my truth says I’m enough.
🏛️ 3 Affirmations: Asking for Help When Facing Institutional & Systemic Barriers
- I am not weak for needing help. I am wise for refusing to struggle alone in systems that weren’t built for me.
- I desire support not because I can’t navigate this system, but because I choose not to navigate complexity, injustice, and bureaucracy alone.
- Asking for help is how I reclaim my dignity in spaces and systems designed to deny it.
Here are culturally rooted proverbs or adages that speak to the power and wisdom of asking for help, community, or interdependence:
✝️ Christian Adage
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
– Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NIV)
A reminder that partnership and mutual support are divinely ordained.
🌍 African Proverb (Akan, Ghana)
The one who climbs a good tree always gets a push.
Translation: When your mission is worthy, support will come only if you let others help.
🪶 Native American Proverb (Lakota)
- When you are in pain, go to the elders. Their words are medicine.
This reflects the cultural value of seeking wisdom, guidance, and support from community and ancestors.
🖤Mexican Proverb
- El que pide ayuda, no está solo.
Translation: The one who asks for help is not alone.
This affirms that vulnerability is a bridge to community, not a sign of weakness.
Remember, you are not unraveling; you are re-forming. You are not lost; you are being led. You are shifting, and your shifts are sacred AND they are shaping you into a newer, bolder version of yourself.
Blessings as you shift with ease.
With love and truth,
SharRon
* Lifequake is a term coined by Bruce Feiler.