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Tag: identity

Don’t Be Limited By Labels!

I hate being labeled. Don’t you?

Being boxed in or imprisoned by someone’s myopic thinking challenges my sense of justice and respect.

I am like most folks: I don’t appreciate being restricted by the opinions of people who don’t know me, especially when they don’t know themselves.

But this is what I KNOW to be true: People who can’t control, contain, or cripple you will label you to neutralize you.

They will use hateful and harmful words to strip you of your humanity and divinity.

They will hinder your ability to navigate the world by perverting your motives, underestimating your strengths, and exaggerating your weaknesses.

Of course, the label will sting!

But when you realize their labeling is the only tool they have to hinder you, you will recognize their powerless ploys for what they are …..feeble attempts at manipulation, assassination, and dehumanization.

Remember, you are beyond labels.

No sticker can capture your entire essence.

You are too masterfully made, too exceptionally equipped, and too carefully crafted to fit whatever noun or adjective they select to describe you.

But YOU MUST believe that!

You must remember that your FULL identity, ability, and potential are beyond anyone’s grasp or understanding.

You must know that no one limits you!

No name can dull your brilliance!

Granny used to say, “It doesn’t matter what they call you; it only matters what you answer to.” That means YOU, and only YOU, have the power and the privilege of determining who, what, and whose you ARE!

YOU are the designer of your life. You are the architect.

That’s why it is vital to get rooted in who you are –  anchored in your identity, purpose, and hope.

Because when you are grounded in who you are, you are less likely to get derailed by the assumptions and assessments of naysayers.

And most of all, you won’t let empty critiques and mean-spirited critics distract you from pursuing your life-enriching, soul-nourishing goals.

REMEMBER: Don’t let labels limit you. Don’t let someone’s perception disrupt your commitment to wholeness, happiness, and rest. Don’t get distracted by empty opinions.

Soar beyond the labels others place on you, and watch your life expand.

Blessings

SharRon

 

Only You Know What’s Best For You

So often, we believe we can only feel and think one way about a specific topic. We frequently feel bullied to choose between this or that, as if there are only two options to consider.

But life often exists in the grey; life is rarely black or white. There are few absolutes.

Yes, absolutes are non-negotiable; we must honor humanity, ensure dignity, and protect freedom.

However, most of life’s questions are full of nuances, complexities, and contradictions that challenge us to think deeply about our values. And those are the questions and decisions that don’t fit neatly into our cultural conditioning, religious doctrines, and social norms. The decisions that affect us the most are never this or that; they may be both or neither.

Bottom line: Don’t get bullied by binaries.

You can have multiple opinions, concerns, and feelings about one topic.

So, question everything and allow yourself to have mixed feelings about something until you know what is true for you.

Create space in your mind and expand the love in your heart to hold tension and dichotomies.

Most of all, trust and test your own inner knowledge because YOU and only you know what’s best for you.

So, this week, here are some journal prompts to help you get clear on your goals and needs.

Journal Prompts:

  • What feels suitable for me in this season of my life?
  • What nourishes my soul and stimulates my mind?
  • How does staying in an unfulfilling career or relationship affect me?
  • How does changing my routines help me rest, think, or heal?
  • Where do I need to think broadly about my life?
  • Why am I not advocating for myself at work or at home?
  • Who am I becoming, and why?
  • What could I do if I expanded my understanding of “truth?”
  • How would updating my definition of success create more capacity in my life?

Spend some time asking yourself these critical questions. And then, be sure to sign up for the free I Dare To Be Me Virtual Open House to get additional insight about creating a life that honors your deepest needs.

Don’t be bullied. You are too amazing to be shoved into a belief system that suppresses your soul.

Blessings!

SharRon

What 3 Weeks Of COVID Taught Me

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog, but unfortunately, I had Covid. For over three weeks, I tested positive, and honestly, I still have not recovered. I am still experiencing extreme fatigue, occasional migraines, sporadic dizziness, and mild hair loss. But through it all, I am thankful. I am alive, and I have a few lessons to share, and I hope the lessons resonate with you, too.

Lesson 1: COVID reminds me that invisible things can be deadly.

I know that’s not a new revelation, but we need to talk about it. Why? Because there may be some invisible things in your life that are causing death, too. Invisible things like feelings of doubt, fear, resentment, unforgiveness, jealousy, pride, superiority, and arrogance….just to name a few.

Do any of those feelings resonate with you?

From racism to sexism, from toxic greed to abject poverty, from arrogance to ignorance, from individualism to tribalism…..some invisible things also create narratives, systems, policies, and structures that cause irreparable harm to our culture and our environment.

They cause death….. death of your dreams, death of meaningful relationships, death of unity, death of confidence, death of hope, death of our environment, death of trust, death of dignity, death of compassion, death of creativity, etc.

And just like COVID, invisible things are often transmitted into our hearts and minds without our awareness, influencing how we treat people and our planet.

That’s why I am committed to becoming more intentional about identifying and uprooting the invisible things in my life that may negatively affect how I treat myself and others.

Here are a few questions I am asking myself that might also help you.

  • What invisible things could limit my joy, affect my emotional health, and undermine my happiness?
  • What invisible things tempt me to devalue and invisibilize people in my life?
  • What invisible things are seeping into my leadership style, causing me to perpetuate oppressive systems, discount people facing complex realities, or instill shame in others who live differently than I do?

Since I am committed to being a purpose-divine, value-centered, and dignity-affirming human, I am closely interrogating how I navigate in the world to ensure that I share power, generously share space, listen to other marginalized voices, and celebrate the diversity of God. In essence, I don’t want to cause the death of anything! I want to be a source of light, love, and liberation, and I bet you do too.

Lesson 2: I continue to tether my identity to my productivity.

Honestly, this revelation surprised me because, for decades, I have been doing deep healing work around self-love, self-acceptance, and self-prioritization. I have been intentionally decolonizing my thinking, dismantling internalized cultural norms, and disowning oppressive programming to unravel my sense of worthiness from my work.

But even though I have made significant strides around my worthiness, I realized I still have more work to do. As a result, I am committed to becoming more discerning about my feelings and more watchful about my behavior, so I don’t prioritize “doing-ness” over “being-ness.” I have also added more emphasis on “beingness” in my coaching programs because worshiping productivity only leads to burnout, anger, frustration, constant comparison, and posturing. And after two years of COVID, civil unrest, and ongoing collective grief, I am NOT interested in participating and perpetuating any toxic beliefs that, according to Beyonce, will break my soul or break the souls of others.

So, if you plan to join the next cohort of I Dare To Be Me that starts in late September, be ready to talk more about loving yourself and be ready to discuss how our society has elevated external production, public validation, and organizational approval over your personal sanity, safety, and well-being. Something to really think about, right?

Here are a few questions I am sitting with that I hope may also support you.

  • How can I stop squandering my energy, trying to prove my relevance to others, and use that energy to deeply love myself?
  • How is pursuing applause, accolades, and approval serving my highest good and contributing to my emotional well-being?
  • How are ladder-climbing, status-seeking, and promotion-chasing limiting my time and space to consistently honor myself and cherish my loved ones?

Please sit with these questions. And if you are willing, send me a message and let me know your thoughts because I would love to hear from you.

I look forward to sharing more revelations with you next week, and I also look forward to sharing a few thoughts in our private community podcast.

But in the meantime, please take care of yourself this week and stay healthy. Even though the media is not talking much about COVID, COVID is still killing people and making others extremely ill.

And if we are not following me on IG, please do. Here is a link to my most recent reels about self-love and self-agency. Click here. I hope the reels help you SEE just how amazing and powerful you are.

Thank you for letting me share my heart and thoughts with you.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

You Are Worthy Of Support

To live in an unstable, unjust world, you must get and stay rooted in your own humanity.

Why? Because when you feel as if nothing is sacred or safe, it’s hard to feel anchored. It’s hard to stand up for your values and discern your truth so you can make thoughtful decisions that honor your greatest needs.

How do you get rooted?

Heal!

  • You start a messy, painful, non-linear process to unravel, unpack, and unlearn the old narratives, historical myths, and societal messages that undermine your power, self-love, and self-trust.
  • You find a sacred community of truth-tellers, wisdom-sharers, and purpose-seekers who know how to hold sacred space for your grief, your greatness, your growth, your giftedness, and your gallantry. ALL OF IT! It must be a community where you can share your feelings, shed old identities, and shatter old belief systems so you can grow.
  • You learn how to listen to your body and learn how your body communicates what it needs, so you can assess if you have the internal stamina and capacity to engage, or if you need to strategically withdraw from environments, circumstances, and relationships.
  • You learn how to name your feelings without labeling yourself, so you have the language to express, explore, and excavate your feelings and interrogate what your feelings mean.
  • You learn to rest by doing what restores your clarity, revives your soul, reinvigorates your body, and renews your spirit.
  • You commit to your own liberation by loving yourself without judgment and trusting yourself without delay. You don’t wait until…. you love and trust yourself NOW!
  • You harness the power of your personal story because you have lessons, experiences, and earned wisdom that will fortify you and help you navigate the currents of drama, chaos, and negativity.

Does this resonate with you?

If you desire a place that centers your brilliance, acknowledges your history, and appreciates the complexities of being a Brown and Black human or any other marginalized human in an oppressive world, I want to personally invite you to I Dare To Be Me!

In August, I am holding a special virtual open house to share more about the I Dare To Be Me experience. If you are interested, be sure to join the mailing list.

The truth: To deal with the changes and challenges in the world, you must HEAL and be rooted in your identity, humanity, and self-worth to rise even amid adversity, resistance, and cultural shifts.

And most of all, YOU are worthy of support. You don’t have to navigate the seas of change and transformation alone. There is a sacred community of truth-tellers, purpose-seekers, and bridge-builders waiting to support you.

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Reclaim Your True Identity

I love meeting people who grew up with lots of love, affirmation, and unconditional acceptance. I love to meet them because, unfortunately, people who received unconditional love and endless support as children are rare. Yes, rare.

Unfortunately, most of us grew up feeling that we were wrong, extremely weird, or felt as if we did not belong in our families, communities, and schools. And because we believed we were too different or not enough of whatever was needed to belong, we were denied the very support we craved and the affirmation we needed to trust ourselves and deeply cherish our uniqueness.

As we grew older, if we didn’t find a community that nurtured our individuality and neutralized the harmful narratives we learned, we made ourselves small to fit into norms that felt safe. Or, we hid parts of ourselves that were unwelcomed or vilified. Or, sometimes, we clung to outgrown identities, belittling labels, and toxic myths that left us emotionally distressed, defeated, or devalued.

Does any of this sound familiar?

If that sounds like your story or experience, you are not alone. Many people have experienced self-erosion and self-erasure. Many people have been marginalized or excluded because their needs, feelings, and perspectives existed outside of a narrowly-defined “norm.” Many people have abandoned their dreams, betrayed their souls, and concealed their true natures just to exist and survive in a judgmental, myopic world.

I hate to admit it, but I am extremely familiar with self-erosion because my true self started to wither away when I was five or six years old. My true self tried to fight for survival, but the peer pressure to conform was too strong; it crushed my will and strength to fight for my individuality. And because I was so young, I hadn’t developed the skills to speak up or stand up for myself. So slowly, the oppressive messages, constant exclusion, and inherited beliefs took residence in my mind and spirit, and I relented. I became what culture wanted me to be — an obedient, predictable, accommodating person with little confidence and anemic self-love. I sadly became a spoke in a societal wheel mired in self-sabotage, self-hatred, and self-suppression.

However, after college, I embarked on a full reclamation and self-liberation journey to find my TRUE identity because I knew I wasn’t whole. I knew I was compromising my soul because I felt miserable and lost. I didn’t have the vocabulary or emotional awareness to explain my feelings, but I knew I did not fit into the suffocating status quo. Heck, sometimes I felt as if I didn’t even belong in my own family. I was different, and my difference was obvious; it couldn’t be ignored. But slowly and thankfully, my true self spoke to me, compelled, comforted, and urged me to keep searching for the real me. My true self begged me to take the proverbial wheel of my life and drive home to my truth and home to myself.

Now, I look at my life, and I am grateful. My life is not perfect, easy, or problem-free. But I am at peace because I have reclaimed most of ME. I have released the need to struggle for success, hustle for acceptance, and abide by the status quo. I no longer choose this or that; I live in a world of “and”  because I don’t believe in binaries, bullies, or limiting beliefs. I also no longer ascribe to society’s definition of success because striving for society’s success always makes me feel unsuccessful. What a paradox, right?

I now courageously disobey rules, disconnect from toxicity, and detach from historical lies that do not sustain me or honor the dignity of all God’s people. I fearlessly experiment with new opportunities, explore new dimensions of my personality, and accept unique invitations to remind myself that I am free, expansive, and worthy of joy. I am no longer pander to the crowd or try to appease people, especially those who try to manipulate me with their meanness or oppress me with their opinions. I boldly dance to my own music and sing my own songs. And most of all, I keep my head, heart, and hands open, knowing that God will pour out blessings, bestowing me with goodness, grace, and soul-nourishing gifts.

As I continue my reclamation journey, I invite others to join me. I invite others to taste the sweet nectar of their wholeness and revel in their holiness. I encourage people to expand, express, and experience the totality of their being with curiosity, delight, and love. And oh, it feels so good to be doing the work I was created to do. I feel so anchored, rooted, and aligned in ways that are hard to define but heavenly to feel. I know I am profoundly blessed and guided, and I sense a higher dimension of destiny calling my name.

So, join me if you are interested in reclaiming your entire self and reveling in your full identity. Let’s learn how to restore what we lost so we can dance with power, live in truth, and leap with joy. Let’s remember our dreams, rediscover our needs, restore our true personalities, and reimagine our futures. Let’s set new standards, defy the isms, and establish harmony within ourselves and our communities.

My friend, a new day is coming, and you have the power to shape it. Every courageous choice you make will help you live boldly, love intensely, liberate yourself constantly, and dream endlessly. You, the full you, will create this new season of your life full of the variety, joy, and fulfillment you deeply crave.

And the best news is … after you deeply love and affirm who you are, you will never have to deal with self-erosion and self-erasure again. You will never have to assimilate or divest of your humanity and truth. You will boldly give yourself permission to rest, reimagine, restore, recreate, and SOAR, even if nobody else likes you or agrees with your decisions. You will radically trust your spirit to guide you so you can live fully  – undiluted, unfazed, and unencumbered – and enjoy a soul-enriching life.

Blessings as you bloom,

SharRon