Tag: self-awareness

Let Your Imagination Guide You To Success

I hope this message finds you well, safe, and committed to being YOU, the real you.

And as you are being YOU, I wanted to share something that is stretching me to take more radical action in my life. I hope it inspires you, too.

So here it goes….

My parents were teenage parents. By the time they were 18, there were 2 of us, me and my older sister, so I literally grew up with my parents.

Though young and financially poor, I watched my parents complete college, struggle to make ends meet, serve in the community, challenge convention, work for equality, and pastor churches. Of course, creating a life for themselves and a growing family wasn’t easy. They endured racism, sexism, and lots of other isms that almost derailed their progress. Yet, they persevered.

Survival made our lives a bit unpredictable. Sometimes we had heat, food, and a phone, and sometimes we didn’t. Still, we endured.

Of course, I periodically complained about not having the basics and a few luxuries. But when I complained about wearing thrift store clothes, eating government cheese, and chewing on day-old bread, my parents didn’t reprimand me; they encouraged me. They told me I was investing in my future, and they reminded me that the sacrifices I make as a child would pay off when I was an adult.

My father said, “Hang in there and use your imagination so you can see what’s possible for your life.”

Imagination? I wondered how imagination could bring me nice clothes, new shoes, popcorn at the movies, and hot fried chicken. Of course, my childhood desires wanted immediate gratification.

My father explained that my imagination was a gift and that it would guide me to success if I used it daily. And you know, my father was right. My imagination helped me see possibilities and opportunities that cleared my eyes and stirred my heart. It helped me see way beyond my conditions, expertise, and circumstances; it filled me with hope. Even today, I look at my life and wonder how a poor little Black girl like me could grow up to live in such a beautiful home, get to do meaningful work, and have such loving relationships.

I am grateful that I used my imagination.

So, here is what I want you to do.

Close your eyes and release your imagination. Let your imagination run wild so you can see what you truly desire. Let your imagination room to a new realm beyond mere reality.

Let your imagination show you and grow you.

Let it show you how to create new beginnings from painful endings, big opportunities from big obstacles, unlimited potential from unimaginable pain, great advantages from great adversity, and endless love from crippling loss.

IMAGINE!!!!

Imagine what you can do and be if you widen your vision and take one small step forward to what you really desire.

Imagine what you could do if you worried less about making people happy or fitting into norms, labels, and closets.

Imagine what you could try if you trusted yourself to seek, fail, rebound, pivot, shift, and reimagine your life.

Imagine what you could do if you used your education, training, and lived wisdom to create a life that feels more honest, harmonious, and whole.

Imagine how living in peace and joy could extend your life, rest your mind, and heal your body.

Imagine!

Let your vision guide you to victory!

Let your insight spur your initiative.

Let your wisdom help you win.

Let your longing inform your legacy.

IMAGINE!!

My parents had few resources, but they imagined that their life could be different for their children…. for me.

Today, as you are daring to SOAR higher than your circumstances, conditioning, and the anxiety caused by the craziness in the world, remember to imagine.

IMAGINE what’s possible, believe the inconceivable, and trust that you can do the unbelievable.

You can do it! And most of all, you don’t have to do it alone. I can help.

Blessings!

SharRon

Your Values are Personal, But They Are Not Private.

The other day, somebody mentioned that her values were important to her.

I said, “Really. What are your values.”

She shared them, and I was shocked. She said she valued diversity, inclusion, openness, and authenticity.

I was floored because she constantly made statements that were racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and elitist.

She constantly shared her opinion about who “exhibited leadership qualities” and who had gravitas.

She was quick to talk about “those people” and why something wasn’t fair to people who “really worked hard.”  Code: white entitlement.

Thankfully, I was on zoom call. I turned off my camera because I know my face showed that I was not only perplexed but incredulous. It was too comical to be angry.

I didn’t have the energy to engage her or discuss her thoughts, even though she did her best to get my feedback.

For my mental health, I no longer participate in conversations about DEIJ when I don’t feel like it or when there is limited ROI. I no longer sign up for emotional labor unless I feel called to it.

The truth is, our values are personal, but they should NOT be private. People close to you or people who work with you should be able to identify what you stand for and what matters to you.

In other words, you should live in such a way that everybody can see what guides and governs your life.

My elders should use to say, ” I should be able to know a few things by how you do a few things.” Hmmmm…..

So today, ask yourself how you are demonstrating, modeling, expressing, or supporting your values?

If you are not representing what you believe or what you support, what can you do to make your personal values come alive so that you are a change agent or a role model for what you espouse?

Just a thought!

What do you think?

I can’t wait to hear from you.

 

Blessings, SharRon

Being A “Mis-Fit” Is Your SuperPower For Success!

Most of my life I was called a misfit. Most of the groups I so desperately wanted to join rejected me, excluded me, or ridiculed me. They said that I was weird, but I wasn’t weird. I was just different, too different, to fit into groups that demanded blind conformity.

Thankfully,  I realized that my definition of “misfit” was not the same as theirs. To me, a “misfit” was a courageous person who refused to fit into places and with people who could not accept how God made them. So, I accepted I was a “mis-fit” because I realized that I was a circle who people wanted to fit in a square hole. I was a “mis-fit” because I was a person who demanded to live my own life without the permission or approval of others. I was a “mis-fit” because I refused to follow traditions that trapped me, norms that nullified me, doctrines that devalued me, or stereotypes that subjugated me. I was “mis-fit” because I refused to abandon my destiny, my vision, and my divine assignment. I was divinely different.

As a leader, creative, and visionary, I bet you have been called a “mis-fit” too. And how wonderful is that!

How brave of you to live on your own terms and not succumb to the status quo.

How audacious of YOU to not shrink your vision, silence your voice, and squash your dreams to fit into someone else’s version of reality.

How daring of you to lift your voice for others, love who you want to love, and live in a way that illuminates the darkest parts of the world?

How amazingly brave!

My friend, you are wondrous, Spirit-created, and God-inspired design. You were never made nor expected to be a clone, an imposter, or an actor who faded into the crowd. You were created to be different to make a difference —  to be the salt of the earth, to add value, and to accessorize the ordinary.

So, please do NOT fit in; stand out and stand up! The world needs you to walk in all of your uniqueness so that you can demonstrate the diversity, the creativity, and the divinity of a loving God.

(excerpt from Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

 

Let’s Start A Fight!

Today is a good day to start a fight!

No, I am not talking about violence, but I am talking about starting a fight in 3 critical areas.

First, this week, start a fight to be more of yourself.

Yes, be yourself, even if people try to pressure you to be who they want you to be. Resist conformity and accommodation. Stand strong even when individual and systemic pressures attempt to restrict, sway, or sabotage you. And remember to stay alert because sometimes the pressure to comply is so insidious that you may unconsciously succumb to beliefs that don’t align with your truth.

Remember, you have agency and inner wisdom. You can prevent subtle suggestions and harmful narratives from controlling your mind in a way that renders you a slave to public opinion or to the superficial status quo. You are just that powerful!

Secondly, fight against mediocrity.

In a world that pressures people to be average, it is easy to underperform or do just enough to get by. Doing the least possible can be appealing, especially when your brilliance intimidates some and confuses others.

But despite people misunderstanding you or challenging your perspective, strive for excellence and precision. Continue to do your best, even if people are not clapping for you or praising you. Do your best to make yourself proud. That alone will boost your self-confidence, and that’s something to fight for.

Finally, fight against being mean.

COVID has all of us a bit discouraged and anxious. Everywhere you look, people are frowning, frustrated, fearful, and acting foolish. People are stressed, exhausted, and physically overwhelmed.

But a kind word can be just the medicine that a stressed-out parent, healthcare provider, teacher, caregiver, or essential worker needs to make it through the day. Being cordial, grateful, and extending mercy could bring cheer to someone’s heart and provide the levity they need to endure another day. Remember, you are a thermostat, not a thermometer. You can establish and sustain a climate for positivity. You don’t need to settle for just registering the climate.

So this week, start a fight, a good fight.

And after you win your battles, extend a hand to someone else!

You can listen to the message by clicking here.

If you are seeking new ways to fight to be the highest version of yourself, “You Can Depend On You” is starting soon. Click here to learn more. 

Remember you don’t have to settle for a life you learned to live, you can create a life you love!

Blessings!

SharRon

IGNORE the Naysayers!

If you want to pursue your destiny, one skill that you must develop and strengthen is the skill of IGNORING the naysayers.

 

Yes, ignoring the comments and opinions of people who don’t care about you, your gift, or your life’s calling is a critical skill!

 

Just for the record, ignoring people does not mean that you are rude or arrogant. Ignoring people means you are focused, disciplined, and committed to being the highest version of yourself.

 

It means that you are dedicated to executing your vision with excellence, greatness, and integrity.

 

My friend, let’s be honest. You already wrestle with your own inner demons and insecurities. You are constantly challenging oppressive narratives that undermine your confidence and feelings of worthiness.  So why invite more demons into your space and spirit by listening to people who don’t care about you, who don’t share your values, and who don’t have their own dreams.

 

Goal: Develop your ability to IGNORE statements that keep you stuck, scared, silent, sidetracked, shipwrecked, shallow, stale, sick, and salty.

 

Trust me; your ability to IGNORE people and their negative comments will serve and support you well as you pursue your dreams.

 

If you want more encouragement to ignore the naysayers, stay tuned. “You Can Depend On You” will launch soon.

 

Make sure you join my mailing list to learn more. Click here.

 

Blessings,

 

SharRon!

Your Life Will Teach You Where To Go!

As a child, my elders told me that if you pay attention to your life, it will teach you what you need to know, where you need to grow, and where you need to go.

I never really thought much about that lesson, but over this last year, life has taught me many lessons about what I should be and should not be doing. If you are a big-hearted, socially aware person, you probably feel that life has taught you a lot during the last 18 months, too.

So this year, as I do every year around my birthday, I reflect on the critical lessons I learned during the twelve preceding months. It’s an understatement to say that this year the lessons were insightful and profound. Living amid a global pandemic, dealing with constant civil unrest, dealing with racial reckoning, and enduring an international quarantine encouraged me to reflect deeply about how I was living, loving, and leading.

So, during this week, I invite you to think about the critical lessons you learned in 2020, and what lessons you are learning today. I have provided a few prompts for you.

  • How did you learn to create more love, more peace, and more joy in your life amid the chaos?
  • What were the major lessons that you had to unlearn and relearn to reclaim harmony, restore relationships, and reimagine how you engage the world?
  • Where in your life are you marginalizing, minimizing, trivializing, and stigmatizing your own vision, your own goals, and your own desires?
  • Where in your life are you still tied to patterns and perspectives that are sabotaging your growth?
  • How can you better embrace your worthiness, commit to more self-care, and connect more profoundly with your loved ones?

The answers to these questions may require that you consciously reset your priorities, rethink your childhood, and create new environments so you can flourish and thrive. Your answers may even require you to take some risks and make new investments in yourself and others.

Even though a bit chaotic, this season offers enormous possibilities. And if you walk with courage, be resilient, and envision wholeness for yourself and others, you will launch into a new dimension of joy.

Wishing you well as you Dare To Soar HIGHER!

Blessings,

SharRon

*P.S. Sign up for my newsletter to get access to my private podcast. Click here.

If You Can’t Trust Yourself, Trust Your Track Record

As you start a new month, I have a hard question for you.

Have you ever wanted to go for a promotion or start a business but felt inadequate?

Have ever felt you were not qualified enough, did not have the right degree, and didn’t have the right connections to pursue your dreams?

I have. Early in my career, I would interview for job after job, but never land the promotions I desired and earned.

I grew really frustrated because I knew that the folks who landed the positions were not more skilled or educated than I was. Heck, I even trained some of them.

Of course, there were many factors working against me. I was a young, Black woman and the biopharmaceutical industry was not ready to embrace diversity, especially without a fight.

After being looked over and picked apart, I told my father that I was leaving corporate America. But I also admitted that I feared failing as an entrepreneur.

He said, “SharRon, if you can’t trust yourself, trust your track record.”

Whew.. that statement was the jolt I needed to help me remember all the successes that shaped my career. That one brief statement encouraged me to take a jog down memory lane and I realized I had shattered many glass ceilings, smashed a few paradigms, and kicked in numerous closets. Yes, I had a track record of success.

Why is it important to review your track record? 

As you pursue your purpose, you will be forced to take some risks. And when you do, it’s always helpful to have a few people to remind you of your mastery, abilities, and capacity to overcome obstacles. It’s also extremely wise to have a strong inner core, which I define as a group of people who can help you rise to the occasion and help you resist the spirit of fear. For me, my inner core included my father.

Over the weekend, take a close inventory of your friends and determine which friends have the traits and the mentality to be in your inner core. Use the MRS framework to help you identify which friends most align with your needs, dreams, and goals. And then make some needed adjustments so you can SOAR.

I have provided a quick overview of the MRS framework for you to review.

  • M = People with whom you enjoy Meaningful Mutuality
  • R = People who help you RISE, REST, RECOVER, and RESIST
  • S = People who are Spiritually aware, awakened, and live. 

We all need people who believe in us; our friendships are critical to our calling. That’s why, in “You Can Depend On You,” I dedicate an entire module to identifying and cultivating healthy connections. If you are going to become the highest version of yourself, gather and engage with people who can share their wisdom, time, and talent with you. Find a great core for your calling!

Remember, you can depend on yourself to foster relationships with helpful, faithful folks. Even if you made some poor selections in the past, as I did, you can still trust yourself to make positive “friend” choices today.

In my newest book, Deciding To Soar 2:Unwrapping Your Purpose, I dedicate 10 chapters on the topic of friendships. Be sure to order it today, and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

SharRon

 

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption:  All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope. 

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon

What’s Blocking You? – Part 2

actionHave you ever felt as if you were stuck in a rut? I have. There have been times in my life when I have felt stuck, cemented and confined by people, policies, places and positions.  A few times I felt so emotionally trapped by routines, responsibilities and relationships that I stopped growing, learning, loving and living.  I was emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually sinking, and I was sinking fast.

Thankfully some wonderful coaches and counselors helped me change the trajectory of my life and now almost 25 years later, I have learned a few things.   I have learned that self-reflection is the first step to personal transformation. Yes, I learned that I had to learn more about me. I learned that I had to learn who I was devoid of expectations, fears, traditions, norms and facades. I had to discover who I was outside of what everybody else wanted me to be.   Trust me, that was difficult; it required peeling back layers of my personality that I never knew existed.

For me, self-reflection was a painstaking process because I had to take off the masks and remove my disguises; I could no longer hide. I also had to stop acting, and the funny thing was —  I didn’t know that I was even acting. I thought my beliefs and behavior were self-directed; I soon realized that they were not. I realized that my beliefs and behavior were influenced by whole lot of people who didn’t know me, care about, support me or even like me. Yikes! What a wake-up call!

During my self-discovery journey, I was forced to analyze my history to identify patterns, themes and the orgins of my bad behavior. I had to understand why I  sabotaged my success, happiness, relationships and health. I was forced to evaluate my perspectives and define my truth, and honestly 25 years ago, I didn’t know I even had a truth. Imagine that.

I am not alone; many people are and have been in the same boat. Many people today are struggling or have struggled to understand themselves. Some, like I did, have and continue to struggle to find their purpose, accept their calling or even understand the need for transformation. Most successful people I know have been to THE place, the place of truth that helped them jump-start their journeys of personal transformation.  I call THAT place “Blessings at the Bottom” (Chapter 39 in I Have Learned A Few Things)

Yes, most of us have been to that the scary, unfamiliar and agonizing place that demanded that we become more self-aware.  I am sure that we all can agree that THE place is a challenging place but it is also an exciting place. It is a place of great promise, great purpose, great clarity and of great relief. During THAT place, we were forced to look closer, deeper and broader at the choices that we made or honestly consider the choices that we were failing to make. We removed our defenses and we became emotionally transparent to ourselves; we didn’t hide from our histories, failures, mistakes and secrets.  We became self-aware and as result, we were ready to embark on our new journeys, our journeys of personal transformation.

As we learned in the previous post, self-AWARENESS is the first step toward personal transformation. After you conduct a full life inventory and commit to continuous self-discovery, the second step on the road to personal transformation is ACTION. Yes, ACTION! If you want a different life, you must make changes; you must do something and many times, do a lot of “somethings” differently. As we say in the South, “you just can’t talk about it, you got to be about it”.

But even though we know we must do something, it is the “doing” that scares us the most. It is the “doing” that keeps up stuck, stagnant and stale in our lives. It is the “doing” that seems insurmountable, unfathomable and just down right undoable.  It is the “doing” that reveals our fears, unravels our resolve and makes us abandon our dreams. It is the “doing” that frequently stops us or makes us settle for relationships that are unfulfilling, jobs that are underpaying and lives that are unsatisfying. The “doing”, the failure to take action, is what limits our successes and negates our future.

actionchangesthings

So how do we address the “doing” so that it feels doable? I don’t know all of the answers but I have a few thoughts.

  • Get clear about what you want and who you want to be; determine your compelling WHY. Your WHY will create your vision, and your vision will guide and direct you. For example, when I started my healing journey, my WHY was that I no longer wanted to feel yucky inside. I was tired of feeling small, silent, suffocated and sidetracked. My WHY was not elaborate or deep; it was just honest.  More importantly, at the time that was all I could articulate but it was a great start. What’s your WHY?
  • Identify the resources that you already have and identify what you are already know. When I started my personal transformation, I knew that I had some money and I knew that I needed therapy. I knew that my prolonged feelings of malaise and sadness were not normal. I didn’t know too much more than that but knowing those few things was critical to me moving forward in my life.  So what do you already have and what do you already know?
  • Take a step, make a call, start a class, join a group or find support. I would say read a book but I have learned that reading books in isolation is never enough for sustained growth. Books provide concepts but an activity, practice or coaching provides the application. And to make the changes that you want in your life, you need both concepts and application. Just think about. You can read a book about swimming all day long but until you jump in the pool do you know if you can really swim? The same principle applies when learning new life skills. So, what are you doing to use, practice, apply or implement the knowledge that you are learning?
  • Don’t worry about understanding all the details. You may never know all of the details before you start a business, pursue your dreams or embark on a healing journey. Learn as much as you can and get started. No, don’t be reckless or careless; be calculating, prudent and analytical. But after you obtain as much information as you can, MOVE, DO, GO, BE, and TRY! Take action…..bold action. As you take a few steps toward your goals, more information, resources and support will show up. Trust me…I have been there.
  • Only focus on 3 – 5, preferably only 3, things that you want to improve or change at one time. Some coaches may disagree with me on this. However, from working with all types of clients, I have learned that personal transformation is challenging, and trying to do too much at once often becomes overwhelming. And what do overwhelmed people routinely do? They procrastinate or they QUIT! So, honor yourself. Organize your life and focus on a few things so you don’t fall out, fall down and fall asleep. Trust me, it happens.
  • Remember that success is a process, and sometimes a messy process. This weekend one of my mentors said something that resonated in my spirit. He said that “sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. Wow…as we say in the Christian faith –  that was an on-time word. That phrase freed me! I now feel more creative, more committed and more courageous to pursue my own dreams. That little phrase empowered and embolden me to Soar Higher!

I encourage you to take Action! Never forget that motion motivates, activates and elevates. So get started because today is the first day of the rest of your life. And, don’t forget to get some support on your journey. If you need coaching or assistance, please feel free to call the Jamison Group.  We would love to provide you with support and guidance as you embark on your new life.

Always remember to DARE to SOAR HIGHER because You are ALWAYS worth your best!

(Reprinted from my upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few Things About Success)

Blessings,

SharRon

What’s Blocking You?

self awareness

Have you ever thought about what’s really blocking you in your life? No, really. Have you thought about why you continue to stay in a joyless, sexless and unfulfilling relationship? Or, why you continue to work an unrewarding, unsatisfying and low-paying job? Or, why you continue to associate with people who have low goals, no goals or no guts? Or, why you participate in organizations that demonize, disappoint or degrade you and others? Or, why you associate with people who are envious of you and secretly covet your life? Have you truly thought about those things?

To be honest, I really did not consider those questions myself until one day I woke up and realized that I was lost. I woke up and found myself confused about my career, puzzled about my purpose, baffled by my relationship, mystified by my faith and confounded by the choices that I was FAILING to make. Yes, I was shocked when I realized that I was not making decisions at all; I was just letting life happen. I was not choosing anything; I was settling for whatever and whomever came in my life. And boy, did I settle. I sold myself short personally and professionally.

But thankfully, I have learned that living and creating a fulfilling life required that I make decisions. Yes, living a satisfying life required me to participate fully in the life process even when I didn’t feel equipped, qualified or confident enough to make informed choices. Even when I didn’t want to or feel up to it, I learned that I had to be the leader, director, and organizer of my life; I had to be the boss of me. Prepared or not, I learned that I had to guide, manage and love myself enough to make decisions that helped me SOAR.

Those decisions are not always easy to make and sometimes the options are less than desirable. But being the boss is not always easy and not making a decision is really a decision too. Something to consider right?

My clients often ask me the same question, “How do I become the boss of me?”  It is a simple question, but simple questions rarely have simple answers. But here is what I offer.

know thyself

I first tell my clients, who I call my teachers, to become AWARE. I encourage them to be become AWARE of what moves them, soothes them, angers them, motivates them, stresses them, relieves them, inspires them, etc.  I advise them to conduct a monthly and sometimes a weekly self-inventory to learn what makes them tick, sick and stick. I encourage them to find out what makes them uncomfortable and then fully explore that discomfort. I hope I inspire them to learn what brings them peace, growth and liberation so that they can “live” in that space for the rest of their lives. Finally, I encourage them to get quiet and still so that they can hear the whispers from their souls because that is where our truth lies.

Becoming aware and staying aware won’t be easy, especially with all of the distractions that vie for our attention and challenge our minds. But I implore you to try. Try to be become more AWARE of the amazing person you already are, and try to stay committed to growing into the more amazing person you hope to be.  Because once you become aware, you will better appreciate who you are, recognize your full potential, discern what’s good and who is good for your spirit, and transform your life into greater abundance.

Awareness is the first step.  I look forwarding to sharing the other 4 steps in the coming weeks. So stay tuned.

I wish you success on your journey to greater AWARENESS. You can do it! I know you can. We are on this journey together.

If you are interested in working with me to gain more self AWARENESS, please contact me.  I am always here to support and serve you!

Blessings to you always and remember to DARE To SOAR HIGHER!

SharRon