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Tag: self-love

What My 7-Month Illness Taught Me About Joy

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on What My 7-Month Illness Taught Me About Joy

Have you ever found yourself waking up in the middle of the night with a gnawing question: “Is this all there is?” or “Am I living the life I was meant to live?”

If you’ve ever wrestled with these thoughts, you might be experiencing what philosophers and psychologists call a “telos crisis.”

The word “telos” comes from ancient Greek, meaning “end” or “purpose.” And a telos crisis happens when you feel disconnected from your purpose or destiny. It’s that sinking feeling that you’re off track, unfulfilled, or simply existing rather than thriving. It’s also a feeling that you are trapped by the status quo. Have you ever felt that way?

I remember vividly when my first telos crisis came knocking. On the outside, everything looked picture-perfect. The job, the relationships, the accolades — everything society says we should want or strive for – were in place. But inside, I felt hollow. I sensed I was living someone else’s dream, not my own. Most of all, I felt like I was emotionally drowning because my soul was gradually suffocating under the weight of expectations, traditions, and “shoulds.” It was a spirit-draining time in my life.

Many passion-driven, big-hearted people like YOU will also experience a telos crisis, not once but many times. Why?  A telos crisis can be triggered by a career change, a health crisis, a significant loss, an empty nest, a divorce, a religious shift, or even a moment of stillness in a noisy life. The political uncertainty and polarization we’re living through in America may also exacerbate a telos crisis because chaos often stirs up deeper questions about our place in the world and the collective legacy we’re creating. So, it’s inevitable. You will face something that will transform your life and provide the wisdom you need for a new chapter or stage.

My current telos crisis – my 7-month health challenge-  though painful, was a necessary wake-up call. It shook me out of my spiritual complacency and invited me to recalibrate, reflect, and realign my priorities.  It made me release the weight of roles, obligations,  and expectations that choked my spirit so I could focus on who I was becoming in my next season. It also showed me that I needed to build different types of friendships so I could be more vulnerable and transparent and ask others for help without them questioning my faith. Whew! Having a few Christians question my faith when I was suffering was disheartening.   (I share some of my experiences in the newest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.)

So, how do you know you’re in the middle of a telos crisis? Here are some signs:

  1. Chronic Discontent: You’re constantly dissatisfied, even when things are objectively “fine.” Joy feels out of reach.
  2. Restlessness: You feel an urge to change but don’t know where to start or what to pursue.
  3. Numbing Behaviors: You find yourself overworking, over-eating, binge-watching, or overindulging to avoid confronting or feeling the void. (This is how I coped.)
  4. Questioning Your Choices: You start wondering if the life you’ve built is yours or if it’s the product of societal or familial expectations.
  5. Yearning for Meaning: You crave something deeper, richer, more soul-stirring than your current day-to-day grind.

Here’s the good news: A telos crisis isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. It’s a wake-up call from your soul, urging you to come home to yourself.

So, here are 5 steps to navigate through it:

1. Pause and Reflect

When you’re in the middle of a telos crisis, your instinct might be to distract yourself or power through. Resist that urge. Instead, give yourself permission to pause. Journal your thoughts, meditate, or take long walks in nature. Ask yourself, “What’s missing? What does my soul truly desire?”

2. Revisit Your Values

Often, a telos crisis stems from living out of alignment with your core values. Take some time to identify what matters most to you. Is it freedom? Connection? Creativity? Contribution? Once you know your values, you can begin to make choices that honor them.

3. Rewrite the Narrative

Many of us are living scripts that we didn’t write. Yes, it’s true. These scripts come from society, family, or past versions of ourselves. Decide to be the author of your own story or a new chapter. Ask, “What would a life that feels true to me look like?” Dream boldly. Let your imagination run wild!

4. Take Small, Courageous Steps

Significant changes don’t happen overnight. Start small. Maybe it’s signing up for that class you’ve been curious about, having an honest conversation with a loved one, or carving out 10 minutes daily to do something you love. Small steps build momentum.

5. Seek Support

Don’t go it alone. Share your journey with trusted friends, a mentor, or a coach. Success never happens in isolation, so find someone who can hold space for your exploration and encourage you as you navigate uncharted territory. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help illuminate the path forward and help you think bigger.

Click here to listen to the podcast on Apple or YouTube.

My friend, you don’t have to go through the telos crisis alone. I’ve been where you are and know how overwhelming it can feel. So, connect with me. Together, we can explore your thoughts, clarify your vision, and strategize your next steps. Click here. 

Or join my next Sister Circle, a small, intimate gathering where we will share, connect, and build a roadmap for your future. If you are interested in joining, email me at SharRon@SharRonJamison.com. We have several gatherings scheduled throughout the year.

Thankfully, I am on the road to wellness. I am not there yet, but my health is improving, and my strength is returning. I am doing everything in my power to prioritize my health and engage in the healing process, even when it’s hard or when I feel incredibly vulnerable. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Remember: A telos crisis isn’t something to fear. It’s your soul’s way of whispering, shouting, or sometimes shaking you awake so you can step boldly into the life you were always meant to live.

Blessings!

SharRon

P.S. If this message resonates with you, please share it with someone who may need inspiration. They might just need to be reminded that what they are experiencing is normal, natural, and enriching.

Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

What needs to change?

Although I ask myself this question regularly, there’s something about the end of the year that makes me dig a little deeper to ensure that I am really happy—not fake happy or “just settling happy”—but soul happy. I constantly gauge how I feel because I want to experience the soul-enriching, soul-nourishing happiness that gives me peace, keeps me whole, and honors my deepest desires. I want to be happy, happy for REAL, which often means making changes.

About 25 years ago, I found myself at a crossroads and knew I needed to make courageous changes in my life. I was extremely unhappy; I was navigating life practically heartbroken. Spiritually, professionally, and personally, I had co-created experiences that de-prioritized my health, agency, and wholeness. And, I knew I craved something different for my life, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my chronic dissatisfaction because, for years, I had made many disempowering choices. I denied my needs, and I failed to choose ME. And unfortunately, each fear-filled, denial-based choice moved me further away from my values, voice, and vision.

As my health declined, the more terrified I became about making more poor decisions that could further disrupt my life.  I wasn’t scared about stretching beyond my comfort zone, but I was afraid of making choices that would affect my aging parents, distract me from fulfilling my divine purpose, or further jeopardize my health. But no matter how hard I prayed for direction,  I couldn’t hear God or access my own wisdom. Fear had compromised my faith and muted the whispers of my soul.  I felt lost.

To gain clarity, I developed the CLEAR Framework,  a tool to help me identify my deepest needs, wishes, and goals. I had no intention of creating a coaching tool; I only desired to create something that would help me hear my inner voice so I could follow my own path, even if it meant detouring from everything I had been taught and told to do.

The tool proved extremely helpful and eye-opening, so I wanted to share the CLEAR framework with you. So, if you feel stuck, unsure of your next step, or overwhelmed by a decision, use the CLEAR framework to clarify what changes are needed in your own life. Once you know your desires, you can navigate life with greater awareness and create more serenity, fulfillment, and joy.

C.L.E.A.R. ( Listen On YouTube or Apple Podcast)

C: Closure – Recognizing When Doors Are Closing

The C in CLEAR stands for closure. Feelings of closure are often complex, unconscious, and layered. In fact, your soul usually discerns the need for closure before your mind has words to express the quiet yearning for change.

For example, you may sense closure when you feel deep dissatisfaction with your relationships, a dwindling sense of belonging in your community, a disconnection with your faith, or a lack of passion for a job. These feelings of closure—internal calls for endings—are often a signal that you’ve outgrown your current environment and that it’s time for a change or a rebirth.

Take a moment to assess:

  • Are you feeling stagnant in your career or relationships? Why?
  • Do you sense that your ability to grow or to make an impact is diminishing? Why?
  • How do you feel confined by policies, people, and practices? Why?
  • What feels like it needs to end or be empty so you can be nourished or recharged with something new?
  • What do you yearn for in this season of your life?
  • What do you want to finish, or what feels completed?
  • What do you no longer wish to experience or participate in?
  • What needs to end so I won’t jeopardize my dignity, potential, or purpose?

Recognizing these signs of closure is not about failure; it’s about grace and growth. It’s about courageously permitting yourself to seek new spaces, relationships, and situations where you can flourish.

L: Letting Go – Releasing What No Longer Serves You

The L in CLEAR reminds us to examine what we are losing, what we have already lost, or what we need to let go of. The L requires us to reckon with the truth – our inner knowing – and honor what we feel inside our souls, know in our minds, and crave in our hearts.

For example, the L demands that we tell ourselves the truth if we feel we are losing confidence, passion, or self-esteem. It requires assessing if we are clinging to beliefs, identities, or narratives that no longer align with who we are or want to become.

Ask yourself:

  • What mindsets or habits are holding me back? How?
  • Is my current environment eroding my enthusiasm or self-worth? How?
  • Are people ignoring my new identity or boundaries? Why? How could I be encouraging their resistance to who I am now?
  • How is this situation honoring my integrity, destiny, or personhood?
  • What meaning am I assigning to “letting go,” and how does that interpretation support my efforts?

Letting go can be difficult, but it creates space for something new and better to enter your life.

E: Erasure – Reclaiming Your Authenticity

The E in CLEAR stands for erasure. Erasure is when we feel forced to suppress or abandon parts of ourselves to fit into specific spaces or to have access to certain groups. This could mean adapting to workplace cultures, relationships, or environments that demand assimilation at the expense of our authenticity. For some groups, it can mean code-switching, masking, or denouncing your identity in exchange for group membership.

Consider:

  • Where and how are you expected to have historical or cultural “amnesia” to participate or advance in specific spaces?
  • Are you erasing aspects of your identity to be accepted by your job or co-workers?
  • Do you feel you’re shrinking yourself to make others comfortable with your expertise, talents, success, or beliefs?
  • Are you abandoning your truth for traditions or organizational norms?
  • How are you compromising your integrity for inclusion?
  • Are you doubting, discounting, or dismantling yourself for fear of exclusion or retaliation?

Chronic erasure can erode your soul, undermine your sense of freedom,  and destroy your sense of self.  However, making changes to reclaim and celebrate your identity and honor your uniqueness ensures you stay healthy and whole.  And, when you reclaim who you are, you RISE! You make life-expanding, soul-nourishing, and dignity-affirming decisions to support your wholeness, wellness, and well-being.

A: Anger – Listening to What Frustrates You

The A in CLEAR stands for anger. Anger is often a sign that something we deeply value—our passions, purpose, or priorities—is being neglected. Chronic anger, which can manifest as frustration or resentment, could indicate that a situation or relationship no longer aligns with our values or goals. Even though you may want to ignore it, anger is a valuable emotion that informs us that we must change to align with our deepest values and needs.

Reflect on:

  • Where do I feel persistent anger, alienation, or irritation?
  • Why and where do I feel powerless or invisible?
  • How is anger showing up in my body?
  • Where am I constantly critiquing something, and why?
  • Is this anger signaling unmet needs or neglected priorities at home?
  • Is anger fueling me or fooling me? How does it affect my behavior?

Again….never ignore anger. Instead, use it to identify your truth and as a catalyst for change, guiding you toward environments that respect your personhood and nurture your passions.

R: Rest – Seeking Peace and Safety

Finally, the R in CLEAR stands for rest. Deep emotional, physical, and spiritual rest comes when we feel safe, valued, and settled. If confusion, chaos, or a lack of safety pervades your environment, you won’t rest. You will also feel constantly exhausted if you have to continually act, compromise, or over-give in exchange for access or acceptance.   So, determine if you feel rested or at ease. If not, a change might be needed.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel peace and rest in my current situation?
  • Where do I feel taxed, troubled, twisted, and constantly tested?
  • Is this a place or a relationship where I can thrive without sacrificing my well-being and wholeness?
  • Do I feel drained at certain places, events, or groups?
  • Do I have to be high alert at work or watch my back when engaging with certain people?
  • Do I have to hide my intentions, conceal my motives, or minimize my goals with certain groups?
  • Is this situation affecting my ability to sleep?

You deserve environments and relationships where you can recharge and feel at ease. Remember, rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for a fulfilling life.

Get CLEAR! (listen here)

Before you make another decision, get clear. And use the CLEAR framework because it isn’t just a guide for major life decisions—it’s a way to honor yourself and your needs. (listen here on YouTube)

So, before the new year:

  1. Take a moment to reflect on your current situation (work, relationships, faith, projects).
  2. Use each CLEAR principle as a lens to evaluate where you are and what changes might be needed.
  3. Create a plan to address areas where you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or diminished.
  4. Find people who can support you on your journey and remind you of your brilliance.

Remember, change isn’t about abandoning what’s familiar; it’s about stepping into what’s more fulfilling.

I also look forward to sharing more about CLEAR on Jan. 18th in the NOW What Retreat. Be on the lookout for registration information.

Thanks for reading and listening to the Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast.

Also, please reply to this message and let me know your thoughts.

Blessings!

SharRon

* I have been asked how you can support my work. I would love to work with you. However, I also love coffee and tea.  Click here.

 

 

When An Election Hurts Your Heart

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on When An Election Hurts Your Heart

The recent election and the entire electoral process were extremely painful for many people. Not only did the results fill some with dread, but the outcomes also instilled fear and a genuine concern about the state of our democracy.  Many people, especially people who have been historically marginalized, told me that the outcome of the presidential election was incredibly unsettling, and they feared for their safety, their livelihoods, and their freedom to exist in a world that demonizes their very presence.  It was and continues to be a scary time.

The election and the mean-spirited campaigns were gut-wrenching for me, too. I felt disgusted, enraged, and appalled at the tactics used to manipulate, malign, and exploit people. I was even more saddened that some people believed the divisive rhetoric and harmful lies without validation, research, or corroboration. If information was shared on social media, it was believed to be accurate. If a politician shared “facts,”  it was accepted that the “facts” were verified. If a clergyperson shared a religious perspective, some people believe it was a message directly from God.

Witnessing the entire process was so maddening that I had to take a break – a time out from the foolishness. And so, for weeks,  I avoided the media to protect my spirit and soul from the vicious mud-slinging, myth-making, victim-blaming, name-calling, and dog-whistling that spewed a level of vitriol that I believe have irrevocably fractured relationships and alliances.  I also temporarily disconnected from frazzled and angry friends in order to find space in my heart for optimism, hope, and faith.  I didn’t want to abandon anyone because I cared deeply about their feelings. But I knew I had to stabilize myself because the stakes were too high to surrender to fear, hopelessness, and feelings of defeat. I also knew I needed to stay anchored in my spiritual beliefs in order to protect myself from the constant anxiety that was threatening to swallow me whole. Despite the social upheaval and the toxic political climate, I had to remain open, creative, and courageous. As a single, middle-aged Black woman, I didn’t have the luxury of feeling disempowered, worried, or apathetic.  Like many of you, I had to muster up the strength to make life-affirming, soul-nourishing decisions that honored my soul, instilled hope, and fostered healing. And my decisions had to be strategic because many self-appointed powerbrokers and gatekeepers were no longer trying to hide their disdain for specific communities and identities. It felt as if the election results emboldened them to be MORE offensive, oppressive, and cruel.

Shifting my perspective to see the power of possibility amid so much malice and disrespect wasn’t easy. However, in these trying moments, I reflected on the invaluable wisdom I learned from my elders and ancestors to inspire and direct me. I recalled the lessons they taught me that anchored them through the horrors of enslavement, segregation, Jim Crow, redlining, police brutality, political abuse, and social erasure.  I remembered the strength of their deep faith and resolve that equipped and empowered them to build schools, businesses, hospitals, churches, families, and legacies with limited resources and little protection. I remembered them telling me that my ancestors’ wisdom was stored in my bones, cultivated through my experiences, and strengthened through adversity. I remembered. Thank God, I remembered!

The knowledge and timeless insights I learned from my elders decades ago reminded me that no election, challenge, or person can undermine the calling on our lives. Their words of wisdom also reaffirmed that no politician or policy can undermine God’s plan for humanity if enough God-inspired, justice-minded, faith-filled people work together to effect change.

I pray these lessons inspire you as they encouraged me. I hope they remind you that you can SOAR higher than any policy, law, or tradition that tries to block, dismantle, or dishonor you. And most of all, I hope you are so inspired that you continue to inspire others to live beyond the suffocating status quo and stretch beyond social limitations so they can live fully, truthfully and peacefully.

Here are the lessons I shared on the podcast Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.  You can listen on YouTube or Apple and read below.

Elder: If It Didn’t Stop Us, It Won’t Stop You

History is filled with stories of resilience. Our ancestors faced insurmountable challenges—enslavement, displacement, wars, and systemic oppression. Yet, they pressed forward through every storm, building families, schools,  cultures, and legacies. They survived with unwavering determination, proving that obstacles, no matter how towering, are not permanent barriers but mere stepping stones to a greater destiny. When the world tried to silence their voices, they sang louder. When the world tried to erase them, they let their lights shine brighter.  When opportunities seemed scarce, they created something from nothing. Their endurance is a testament to the power of persistence.

Today, that same resilience flows through you and me. Our challenges may differ, but the weight of oppression is not unfamiliar to our spirits.  So,  confront setbacks, and remember the courage of those who came before you. Our elders thrived under laws and policies designed to break them, yet they soared. Their story is our inheritance. Their strength is our foundation. Their legacy is our leverage. Whatever you’re up against, know that it didn’t stop your ancestors and won’t stop you.

Elder: The Path for You May Be Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes, the answers we seek are right in front of us, yet we miss them because doubt, distraction, or societal expectations blind us. But because what we seek is also seeking us, we must slow down and pay attention to what’s happening around us and within us. We must pay close attention to the whispers of our intuition, the wisdom of our bodies, and the nudges of our curiosity. Even if what we feel or sense is not traditional or familiar, we must move in the direction of our spirit to discover and claim our paths.

My elders also reminded me that the clarity you long for isn’t always about discovering something entirely new; sometimes, it’s about recognizing what’s already within your reach and activating wisdom you already know. They always advised me to lean into my gifts, passions, or experiences that others overlook, minimize, or criticize. They told me that spiritual messages are sometimes disguised as”mess” and that I MUST maintain an open heart, spirit, and mind to SEE and SENSE God.

My friend, look! Look beyond what you see with your eyes and see with your heart. Let your spiritual vision grab God’s vision. Your path is right before you; it’s been there for days or decades.

Elder: Pick Your Own Tools to Sow the Land

Just as farmers choose tools suited to their soil, you must decide what tools work best for your unique journey. Why? God made you special, so a one-size-fits-all approach won’t help you achieve your goals or fulfill your destiny.  Remember, what works for someone else may not fit your vision, purpose, personality, or skill set, but that’s okay. What’s important is to be intentional about the tools you gather—whether it’s education, mentorship, prayer, or imagination—and use them creatively, courageously, and consistently to sow the seeds of your future.

Most of all, resist the pressure to conform to societal norms, cultural expectations, or artificial timelines. Your path is divinely distinct, as are the instruments, strategies, and timing you need to bring it to fruition.  So, determine what feels authentic, what aligns with your values, and what empowers you to thrive. Just as our ancestors innovated with what they had, you, too, can make memories and start cultural movements with your chosen tools.

Elder: Protect Your Dream Space Because It Holds Your Destiny

Your dreams are sacred. They are not merely aspirations; they are vital glimpses of your destiny, instructions for your future, and plans for your purpose. Yet, the world tries to infect your mind and undermine your ability to hold onto your dreams. That’s why creating a mental and emotional sanctuary for your dreams is crucial, particularly in a world that often prioritizes indoctrination over critical thinking, respectful discussion, and genuine inquiry. By nurturing this sanctuary, you empower yourself to challenge the status quo and cultivate the life you truly desire.

So, be mindful of what you allow into your dream space. Surround yourself with people who believe in your vision, believe in you, and challenge you to grow. Say no to influences that plant seeds of doubt, mediocrity, or fear in your heart and mind. Remember that your dreams preview what’s possible in your life, so guard them because they are the bridge to your destiny.

Elder: Who You Are Is Your Strength, Especially in Adversity

During political struggle, it can be tempting to compromise your integrity or conceal your true identity. And even though suppressing who you are or going with the flow may make your life feel initially easier, erasing your identity strips you of your superpowers and self-respect.  Abandoning your unique perspective, skills, and resilience leaves you without the internal infrastructure YOU NEED to withstand adversity and attacks.

So, lean into your identity, especially when life feels uncertain. Your heritage, values, and personal journey are not just part of your story—they are the source of your strength and the foundation of your faith. Both will sustain you in the most trying moments and ensure you are anchored in the God above you and connected to the God within you.

Elder: There Is a Difference Between Salt and Salve

In life, you will encounter people and experiences that either act as salt or as a salve. Salt, while valuable, can sting when placed on wounds because it exposes truths, provokes discomfort, or highlights what needs healing. On the other hand, salve soothes, nurtures, and aids recovery. Both have an essential purpose in your life, and knowing when to apply each is crucial to your growth, wholeness, and well-being.

So, be discerning in how you engage with yourself and others. Tough love (the salt) is sometimes necessary to confront hard truths, but it must be balanced with compassion (the salve) to foster healing and facilitate progress. Similarly, surround yourself with people who can be both—those who challenge you to improve while supporting your journey with care and encouragement. Life demands salt and salve during times of change, and wisdom lies in knowing how to use them to elevate and not harm.

 

My friend, I hope these lessons helped you because your journey and mine—our journey—will be challenging. The next four years will stretch and challenge our nation in unprecedented ways. But just like the ancestors before us, we possess the strength to persevere, the wisdom to find our hidden path, and the courage to choose tools that align with our purpose.  Like them, we can fiercely protect our dreams and our ability to dream. Like them, we can courageously lean into our authenticity and discern the moments that call for salt or salve. Just like them….we can make it.

Over the next four years, I believe that our lives will be a testament to the power of resilience and the audacity of hope. And as our valiant story unfolds with chapters that will inspire others, we will dare to soar higher! We will be the change we need and the change we seek. We will be the visionaries, bridge-builders, wisdom-seekers, truth-tellers, and leaders who speak for the voiceless, inspire the hopeless, and renew the spiritless. We will share wisdom with others just like our ancestors and elders shared with us, and we will thrive!

We will SOAR HIGHER individually and collectively … I believe….because the best is yet to come!

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Are Ghosts Holding You Back?

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Are Ghosts Holding You Back?

This election season has me thinking a lot about ghosts—not the ghosts we see in movies or cartoons, but the types of ghosts that interfere with our ability to live honest, peaceful, and soul-nourishing lives.

So, today, I want to talk about the invisible ghosts from your past –  experiences, beliefs, doubts, fears, trauma, obligations, conditioning, memories, assumptions, unspoken narratives, etc. –  that influence and shape your life.

Why?

We can ONLY live creatively, openly, and authentically if we can determine what is helping us, haunting us, or hindering us in our quest to be emotionally mature, productive, contributing members of society. Without introspection and insight, we don’t thrive individually or collectively. We don’t repair relationships, reckon with our beliefs, or restore peace.

I share more about the ghosts in a new episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Way. You can listen to it on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

Let’s review. 

1. The Ghost of the Ground

The Ghost of the Ground is the ghost that anchors you to the proverbial floor or convinces you to settle for something beneath your ability. It’s the ghost that magnifies every mistake and miscalculation and nullifies and minimizes your victories, severely undermining your confidence. For example, if you try something new and don’t achieve the desired outcome (fall down), the Ghost of the Ground will discourage you from trying again. It will constantly convince you that you don’t have the ability, talent, expertise, or resources to achieve your desired goals or make life-expanding decisions. And when you try again, it will find quick ways to sabotage your efforts and dash your hopes.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Ground is hard to detect, especially when you elevate logic and data over your intuition and faith.  So, pay attention to how you move in your world. Focus and be intentional about your goals. Get wisdom and feedback from people who want you to win! Why? The Ghost of the Ground is a sneaky ghost that tries to dismantle your resolve and tenacity; it will find underhanded ways to discourage you.

Truth: There is no such thing as failure. Always remember that if you DON’T get the outcome you want, you will always get the lesson you need. And… getting the lesson that you need means trying again WITH experience, insight, and acquired wisdom.

Wisdom: The enemy plants doubt seeds in places God wants us to grow the most – LaTonya Benson.

Action:

  • Consider how you view “failure.” Do you define failure as a stepping stone or a tombstone?
  • Determine if you are not starting your business, getting married, getting divorced, moving to a new city, going back to school, or starting your non-profit because you are scared of failing. Be honest with yourself so you can create an actionable plan.
  • Identify where you are vulnerable and determine why.
  • Remember: Failure is an experience or event, but it is NEVER your identity. So don’t let the Ghost of the Ground prevent you from getting up and starting over again, again and again. You can restart as many times as needed because success and self-discovery are processes of starts and stops.
  •  Identify where you “fell down” and hire support so you won’t fall in the same spot again.

2. The Ghost of Glory

The Ghost of Glory thrives on external validation. It yearns for applause, accolades, and affirmation from the crowd and will have you hustling to be seen,  heard, and known.

Since it fears being insignificant, it causes you to compromise your own fulfillment, health, and wellness to achieve or maintain a cultural definition of success. And you already know that achieving goals that are not your own leaves you feeling resentful, empty, lost, and frustrated.

Action: 

  • Identify what you want and why you want it.
  • Measure success by your own standards.
  • Identify why you crave applause and admiration from others and address it.
  • Identify the price you pay for staying in a position or holding on to a belief that no longer supports you.
  • Make a vision for every aspect of your life and ensure it is broad enough to accommodate growth, peace, and joy.

Wisdom: Never choose applause over authenticity. Authenticity provides courage, clarity, and self-trust to live on your own terms.

3. The Ghost of Greed

The Ghost Of Greed always craves more. And let’s be honest: the Ghost of Greed is pervasive in our culture. From social media to political perspectives, we are encouraged to grab more—more wealth, more power, more land, more sex, and more control. MORE! MORE! MORE! And we are not only encouraged to grab MORE, but we are also encouraged to grab MORE FOR ME and MINE….as if everyone else’ needs and inalienable rights are irrelevant.

Instead of satisfaction and sufficiency, this ghost thrives on the perception of scarcity and the lust for dominance. And no matter how much you achieve, it will compel you to accumulate, grab, steal, manipulate, lie, exploit, justify, or coerce to acquire, hoard, or seize MORE….even at the expense of others.

Most alarming is that the Ghost of Greed doesn’t honor boundaries or ethics; it has no moral compass or social conscience. It wants what it wants, even if it violates the law, robs a person of dignity, or destroys communities.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of Greed also has an insatiable political appetite. Just look around the globe. There are many examples of how the Ghost of Greed threatens the quality of our lives, robs developing countries of their natural resources, and threatens global alliances. This ghost loves to dominate, disenfranchise, and destroy. It promotes personal avarice over communal advancement.

Action: 

  • Determine what’s enough and why it’s enough.
  • Determine what’s driving your desire for MORE.
  •  Shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance by listing what you genuinely need to be happy and fulfilled.
  •  Identify what you were taught about money, power, and control. And then determine how those childhood lessons serve who you are today.
  • Explore your relationship between external accumulation and inner alignment.
  • Identify your values and explore how your values align with peace and justice.
  • Examine how your country and communities treat other countries and communities. Identify what drives the treatment or mistreatment.
  • Evaluate if MORE of something is adding or subtracting from your life and the lives of others.

4. The Ghost of the Group

The Ghost of the Group pressures you to conform, to fit in, and to follow societal expectations—even if it means abandoning your individuality and truth. This ghost can be emotionally harmful because it demands self-editing, self-erasure, self-abandonment, and self-denial. It uses the fear of exclusion, judgment, and rejection as tools to control what you say, do, and believe.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Group is extremely deceptive and calculating. It will make you accommodate, tolerate, and protect injustice, oppression, and abuse for group membership. It will also make you act and vote against your best interests in exchange for group acceptance—acceptance that is frequently empty, conditional, and manipulative at best.

Action: 

  • Understand who you are and embrace your uniqueness.
  • Determine your own path. Cultivate the inner strength to follow your own conscience and not the crowd.
  • Challenge outdated cultural scripts or gender paradigms to create space for you to be who you are.
  •  Find strength and joy in your individuality and be willing to stand apart from the crowd.
  • Surround yourself with people who don’t expect you to “lie to live”  or slowly die in exchange for a temporary connection and conditional access.
  • Hire a coach, get a mentor, or enlist a healer because leaving controlling groups can be complex without support.

5. The Ghost of Gossip

The Ghost of Gossip is tricky because it amplifies your anxieties about being talked about. It exploits your fears of public attack and criticism, leading you to undermine your own efforts, conceal your truth, and abandon your dreams. Since it convinces you to focus on the judgment of others MORE than the whispers from your soul, it makes you a prisoner of public opinion.

Here is some truth: You can’t control lies, hearsay, or rumors. People will always make comments about things they don’t know, things they can’t have, or things they don’t understand. And if people are jealous of you or threatened by you, they will constantly create lies to ruin your reputation or undermine your effectiveness.

Remember, gossip feels personal. But it’s pathological because it exposes the hearts, motives, and minds of unhealed, toxic, and vindictive people.

So, move with power, conviction, and authority, knowing that the people who talk negatively about you are the same people who rarely do anything in their own lives that is unique, newsworthy, or note-worthy.

ELDER WISDOM: A lie doesn’t care who tells it. It just wants to be told.

Action: 

  • Know who you are and have a strong sense of self-worth.
  • Let your authenticity and accomplishments speak for themselves. You don’t need to campaign for acceptance!
  • Don’t waste your energy and time convincing people that the lies are untrue. People will believe what they want to believe.
  • Don’t fear rumors. You can’t do anything to stop them, so live your values, trusting that the people you want in your life will see beyond the lies and deceit.
  • Don’t share your secrets with unhealed or jealous people. Both types of people can’t be trusted with their own lives, and they can’t be trusted with sensitive aspects of your life, either.

Ghosts! Click here to listen to the podcast.

Confronting your ghosts isn’t easy. But as you learn to identify and challenge each ghost, you will experience greater freedom and joy….. to BE who you were born to be….and will STOP settling for what the ghosts are convincing you to be.

I look forward to exploring the ghosts in greater detail in my upcoming workshop called NOW WHAT!  It’s happening in December, so be on the lookout for additional information.

In the meantime, please email me and tell me what ghosts most resonate with you and what you do to confront them.

Also, please share this message with someone who is dealing with ghosts. It may be just what they need to make more soul-nourishing, courageous decisions.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

Create A Life That Honors Your Soul!

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What would you do if you lived outside of the expectations and imaginations of others?

What would you do if you stepped into your full humanity and stopped denying yourself pleasure, joy, and rest?

What could you create if you left or changed your career to align with your dreams and desire for more freedom?

You would be healthier, happier, and more whole!

Living healtheir, happier, and whole is exactly what DARING TO SOAR HIGHER is about!

It is about SOARING beyond and above the expectations, narratives, and systemic barriers that try to undermine your fulfillment!

SOARING HIGHER is about honoring your own journey, following your own inner wisdom, and prioritizing your needs.

SOARING HIGHER is moving past and through your pain, reclaiming your true identity, and restoring your peace.

DARING TO SOAR HIGHER is about walking, talking, and embodying your truth, agency, and freedom so you can experience MORE OF YOURSELF!

And honestly, isn’t that what we ALL want?

We ALL want to be more of ourselves to experience MORE fulfillment, inner peace, and self-love.

In a few weeks, a few courageous folks and I will embark on a journey together to SOAR HIGHER, and you are invited to join us.

I am holding a special virtual open house to share more about the soul-nourishing journey. If you want to learn more, DM me, and I will send you the information.

In the meantime, please check out Deciding To Soar: Living Your Own Way! I recently transitioned the podcast to a public podcast, and I am so excited to share exciting and inspirational episodes with you!

Blessings!

SharRon

Do You Need To Sit?

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As a child, when there was a storm, my elders would say, “Go sit your narrow behind down somewhere. God is speaking.”

Now, when I look at all the political and historical storms in the world, I wonder if God is demanding that we sit, not be idle, but to sit down somewhere.

Maybe God is insisting that we sit and get incredibly still so we can hear the unique voice of our Creator, which guides and governs us.

Maybe God is forcing us into contemplation so we can see the error of our collective ways and the smallness of our love.

Maybe God is summoning us to something greater, fairer, bigger, and bolder that will support the common good.

Maybe God is showing us how our desire for domination and our denial of our corrupt systems are obliterating the world.

Maybe God is calling us to examine how society is disintegrating due to injustice, intolerance, and inaction.

Maybe God is empowering us to create strategies to dismantle oppression, confront greed, challenge exploitative capitalism, and resist all vestiges of white supremacy.

Maybe God is refueling our spirits to fight for freedom, live with integrity, and heal our ancestral wounds.

Maybe God is intervening and integrating ways to reboot, rebuild, and redistribute resources so nobody goes hungry, unhoused, or unhealed.

Maybe God is reminding us of our humanity and the humanity of others so folks can stop dropping bombs and shooting bullets at defenseless people.

Maybe God is warning us to value people over profit, power, privileges, and perks so we can remember the sacredness of human life.

Maybe God is prompting us to talk to each other and to stop talking about each other so we can see that we have more in common than we think.

Maybe God is reclaiming our attention so we can focus on solutions that instill hope, promote harmony, and facilitate healing.

During storms, my elders wisely advised me to sit. And so, I am following their advice because I realize my anger and grief about what is happening in the world are starting to consume me.

Witnessing continued genocide, horrific violence, intentional starvation, political pandering, the lack of adequate healthcare, and other global atrocities requires me to gather myself so I can determine how to participate in what I pray about and hope for.

Life has taught me that sacred sitting is a meditative posture that prepares people to be visionaries, freedom fighters, game-changers, and truthtellers. It equips them to challenge the world’s ethos, create more humane paradigms, and confront the stifling status quo.

So, I find myself sitting, thinking about my next move, determined to make a difference even if I don’t know how to help in ways that would bring transformative healing, spiritual awakening, and paths for sustainable reconciliation.

I’m sitting – thinking and praying – because I know we can do better.

We are not powerless!

We are movement-makers! We are relational innovators! We are the hands and feet of a just God!

What about you?

Blessings to you!

Reclaim Your WILL And Find Peace!

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Hey there,

How are you doing?

I wanted to check in because a lot is happening around the world. And honestly, the world feels a bit heavy right now. For some, it may even feel heartbreaking and emotionally exhausting as people struggle to be heard, seen, and protected.

I know many of you may be dealing with conflicting emotions and trying to make sense of contradictory narratives we hear in the media. But as you try to make sense of it all, I want YOU to remember the incredible strength YOU have inside you – the power of your WILL.

Lately, I have been speaking a lot about our WILL because our WILL helps us feel strong and grounded during difficult times. It keeps us hoping, working, advocating, and living without giving up or giving in to vitriol, negativity, and hopelessness. Most of all, our WILL ensures that we stay purposeful and focused as we navigate an evolving and sometimes turbulent world.

As you harness the power of your WILL, here are a few thoughts to consider.

YOU HAVE…..

W – Wisdom. Even though a lot is happening in the world, you have wisdom within and around you to move through complexity and uncertainty. You have inherited and acquired knowledge that you gained from your ancestors, upbringing, communities, spiritual beliefs, and life experiences that provide incredible insight and direction. So, access and apply what you know to make choices that honor your deepest values, desires, and dreams. Especially during political and social unrest, trust your instincts and intuition to navigate the path ahead, trusting that the answers you seek lie within your soul.

I – Imagination. Now more than ever, you must unleash your imagination to think outside the box and dream beyond your current reality. You must look inwardly and pay attention to the messages in your dreams, bypassing evidence, predictions, and naysayers to see opportunities for yourself and others. You must quiet the outside chatter to sense your inner hope and see a future filled with peace, justice, and dignity. Your ability to imagine is directly tied to your ability to create, innovate, problem-solve, and manifest what you need and want. Remember, tomorrow’s answers may not be limited to what you know and see today.

L – Levity. Since the world feels heavy, please make time and create space for joy, passion, play, and rest. Weekly, dedicate a few hours to drawing, laughing, dancing, and singing. Commune with nature, paint a picture, get a massage, or play a sport. Do something fun and light to rejuvenate your spirit, reconnect with your body, and renew your resolve. Levity will relax your mind, which will help you access your wisdom and activate your imagination as you pursue your path.

L – Liberation. Think and choose for yourself. This sounds easy, but opening your mind to new ideas is extremely difficult. But to operate fully in your WILL depends on your ability to listen, learn, and pressure-test what you hear about other countries, communities, and cultures. Because once you free your mind from other people’s beliefs and conclusions, you will create spaciousness for personal revelations, receive divine downloads, and unlock new possibilities for yourself and others. Remember… OPENNESS creates Opportunities.

Life is complex, and there are no easy answers, especially now. However, your WILL can ground and guide you through this unpredictable, challenging time. And when surrounded by supportive friends and fortified by faith, you will make it through this difficult chapter in your life.

I shared more about the power of our WILL in our community podcast. To listen, click here. (Choose a podcast server and subscribe to be notified when I release new episodes.)

As you navigate this uncertain time, you are also invited to join me for a free gathering next week called “Unboxed and Unbothered.” In 60 minutes, we will talk about the power of being unboxed and unbothered during times of transition and growth. It’s free, so sign up now because I am keeping the gathering intimate, so people can feel safe sharing.

My friend, I genuinely believe in the power of our individual and collective WILL – wisdom, imagination, levity, and liberation. And by activating our WILL, we can co-create a safe, secure world for all of us and a unique path just for you!

If this message resonates with your soul, will you do me a favor and share it with a colleague or a loved one? I want to ensure that people know about our community so that they can have support, too.

Remember to register for Unboxed and Unbothered.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back To Yourself

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Do you realize since birth, you have been gradually “un-rooted” from your true identity?

Instead of being supported into becoming your highest authentic Self, you have been shaped into what people felt you should be or could be. Little by little, you were molded to be more socially acceptable, predictable, and controllable, with little regard for how you were divinely wired to win or destined to live.

“Un-rooting” you wasn’t always malicious or intentional, but it was constant.

Education, religion, traditions, culture, gender norms, and social expectations…. all forced you into cultural boxes and disconnected you from your wisdom, gifts, and truth.

And now, even though you may be successful or accomplished, you still may not be YOU — your whole, undiluted you! You still might feel at odds with your true nature and out of alignment with your soul.

I know that being rooted and getting re-rooted can be difficult. Removing and identifying the habits, beliefs, and patterns blocking you from being “at home with yourself” is a process. But by reconnecting with your intuition, strength, and beauty and honoring your values, feelings, and dreams, you can live more honestly and freely. You can feel firmly anchored in your inner authority and truth, giving you the power to follow your conscience and your calling, not the crowd.

I realize I am NOT telling you something you don’t already know. Even when your mind doesn’t know you are out of sync, your body and soul know you are not aligned. Your inner champion knows when you need a change, a renewal, and a reclamation to root into your own innate wisdom and selfhood.

That’s why in Rooted To Rise: A Journey BackTo Yourself, we provide the safety and support you need to return home to your true Self – a self you left behind to fit into society’s boxes. We give you new tools and deeper insight on re-rooting yourself so you can return to the truth of who you are  AND make decisions that honor the real you, not the curated you.

For decades, I rejected the truth of who I knew I was. However, once I reclaimed and honored the parts of myself that society told me to throw away, I created a life of meaning, peace, and a sense of freedom.  Most importantly, my health improved, and I renewed my spiritual practices, which helped me experience inner peace.

The authentic YOU is waiting for you to RISE and SOAR in every dimension of your life. Are you ready?

We start on Feb. 24, and I hope to see you there!

Blessings!

 

SharRon

Rediscovering Dreams, Nurturing Growth, and Embracing Authenticity

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Yesterday was the first time in 20 years that I spent Christmas with my parents. Celebrating and enjoying the holidays with them was such a blessing.
While there, I saw this wonderful picture of me when I was 7. It made me ask myself:
👉🏾 What did this little girl want?
👉🏾 What did this little girl believe about her potential and purpose?
👉🏾 What did this little girl hope for and believe about her life?
👉🏾 When did this little girl STOP dreaming big?
I don’t know the answers, but this morning I am asking myself those questions because the little girl in the picture has wisdom that the adult ME needs.
The little girl in the picture has divine insight… insight that God protected from the unconscious, ubiquitous effects of cultural and social indoctrination.
Wisdom that God protected to ensure she stayed equipped, enthusiastic, and empowered to fulfill her divine calling. To do something significant, transformative, and legacy-producing in the world.
So, the adult ME is staring at the photo, straining to see beyond the social brainwashing and conditioning to see what the little girl wanted and needed so that I CAN give it to her.
The adult ME is resurrecting and reclaiming those childhood buried dreams – the dreams that society tried to kill – so I can be the changemaker that God ordained me to be.
The adult ME is revising narratives, identifying lies, and debunking myths that tried to make me settle for the status quo and a “toxic” normal that is making the world a scarier, sicker, and sadder place to live.
Questions:
  • What did your little person need?
  • What buried dreams do you need to resurrect?
  • What must you remember and reclaim to walk in your authentic authority?
Our childhoods hold clues about our greatness. And when we look under the pain, trauma, historical narratives, systematic oppression, cultural domination, and gender norms, we will uncover who we were divinely created to be!
As my elders used to say: You are higher than what you heard.
Let’s Dare To Soar Higher!
Blessings.

 

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

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A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

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