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Tag: black female leaders

Holy Rebellion: When Restlessness Becomes Revelation

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Holy Rebellion: When Restlessness Becomes Revelation

In my previous podcast episode and blog, I discussed ruptures — those sacred breakings that occur when the soul can no longer carry what the ego insists on keeping.  And talking about ruptures really resonated, as I received many responses from people around the world.

First…..THANK YOU! Thank you to those who shared their reflections, stories, and honest questions with me. Your words reminded me that this work of healing, reckoning, and rising is not mine alone; it’s ours. And it is an honor to be on this life-enriching, truth-telling journey with you.

Many of the inquiries I received revolved around these questions:  “What leads to the rupture? How do I know if I am experiencing ruptures? And how to move through ruptures without disrupting my entire life?”

This blog is my attempt to answer those questions as I understand them, in this season of my own growth and development. Even after 60 years, I continue to learn, grow, and challenge my own assumptions as I navigate major life transitions. Still, I will try to share what I am learning in my own life and what I experience from working with game changers, paradigm shifters, and visionaries like you.

Let’s begin….

As I shared on the podcast and blog, ruptures rarely happen overnight. There are exceptions, for example, when a person unexpectedly experiences tragedy, receives a life-changing diagnosis, or suffers a painful loss.  However, most ruptures build quietly, often beneath the surface, until silence becomes too heavy to hold or discomfort becomes too distressing to bear.

In some ways, ruptures are the soul’s way of saying, “Something sacred must shift — or simply put, something needs to move or change.”

That desire to move or shift often begins with what I call holy restlessness, a divine unease that refuses to let us stay in places we have outgrown or in areas that can’t honor our wholeness.

If you haven’t yet listened to or read the earlier message, “Your ‘Enough’ Is Holy,” I encourage you to do so. It will help you see how divine disruption clears the path for divine order. (Link)

So, let’s discuss restlessness ….

Restlessness is something we all experience. All of us!

We feel it when our jobs start draining us instead of developing us.

We notice it when our relationships stagnate or demand that we abandon crucial aspects of our humanity to maintain connection and commitment.

We sense it when our dreams start whispering again, reminding us that we are not doing what we were created to do.

We notice it when doubt drowns hope, anger derails advancement, and lies have more leverage than the truth.

We feel it in our communities when compassion gives way to competition, complicity, and corruption.

We see it in our places of worship and our schools, in our politics and our parenting, when fear is used to drive decisions.

We see it in the widening gaps between racial groups, in the silence that replaces courage, and in the harsh words hurled at those who dare to be different.

We see it! We sense it

Why?

Because…. restlessness emerges when the soul signals that expansion is overdue and your growth can no longer fit within your current container, relationship, philosophy, faith, or job.

And even though everyone experiences restlessness, everyone feels this holy restlessness differently. Some sense in their bodies. Others feel in their thinking. The experience of holy restlessness is as unique as your fingerprints.

For me, I experience holy restlessness as a quiet stirring in my soul.

However, to people who know me well, they say that holy restlessness in me looks like irritation, frustration, or even short-temperedness.  They say, “SharRon is complaining again, or she is so touchy.”  I don’t always immediately agree with them, but honestly,  they’re usually right.

For example, when I’m being called into something new, life starts to feel tight, heavy, and suffocating. I cry more. I isolate. I stop returning calls. I read more books. I get quiet as I try to process the changes that I can’t see, but sense. It’s hard to put language to the feeling, but it feels as if my spirit is searching for a new path, my body is wrestling with direction, and my heart is bracing for transformation. It is a disorienting feeling because even when my mind hasn’t yet caught up, my soul knows that something is changing, that the rupture has begun.

This year, I’ve felt those feelings in every area of my life. And while it’s been uncomfortable, I’ve learned that restlessness is not something to fear. It’s something to honor.

As I’ve wrestled with my own holy restlessness, I began to see a rhythm emerging — a sacred pattern that helps people move from discomfort to discovery, from friction to freedom, and from confusion to clarity.

I call it the 5 R’s of Holy Rebellion.

These are not rules to follow or rigid steps to master. They’re spiritual rhythms, which are also divine invitations to wake up, break free, and rebuild. Each step reveals something about how we grow, heal, and reclaim ourselves. Each step also asks us to pause, to feel, and to follow the truth wherever it leads. Each step requires you to tell yourself the truth.

As you read through the steps or rhythms, notice which stage feels most familiar to you. That’s usually where your soul is doing its deepest work.

1. Restlessness – The Divine Disturbance
Restlessness is the first knock on the door of your destiny.

It’s the shaking that causes the waking. It’s the stirring and rumble that announces, “You’ve stayed here long enough.”

It’s what wakes you up from the slumber of routine or the invisible cage of the status quo.

It gathers your lessons, your losses, your receipts, and your resilience, whispering: “There’s more in you — but you can’t carry it, develop it, or experience it here.”

Restlessness is holy because it refuses to let you confuse safety with purpose or societal goals with a Spiritual call.

2. Reckoning – The Sacred Confrontation
Reckoning arrives when truth sits you down and says, “We need to talk.”

It’s when the fog clears and you can no longer hide behind busyness or blame. You start facing what you’ve been pretending not to see — your compromises, your patterns, your silence.

Reckoning is rarely gentle, but it is always just. It’s not here to shame you; it’s here to sharpen you. It’s the moment your excuses expire and your honesty begins.

Remember: Reckoning doesn’t come to ruin you; it comes to realign you.

3. Rupture – The Necessary Breaking
Rupture happens when you can’t go back to pretending. It’s not chaos; it’s clarity. It’s the divine demolition that clears space for truth.

Rupture doesn’t destroy you; it delivers you.

It’s the holy unraveling that makes room for what’s real. It’s the Spirit saying, “Let go so I can rebuild.”

Rupture is not rebellion against God; it’s rebellion against what keeps you from God.

If this is your season of rupture, be gentle with yourself. You’re being re-formed, not ruined.

4. Repair & Rebuild – The Holy Reordering

After the breaking comes the building.

Repair is tender work — a mix of humility, patience, and hope. It’s when you pick through the debris of what was and decide what deserves to remain.

This is where wisdom meets work, where faith meets follow-through. You rebuild not from fear, but from freedom. You reorder your life around integrity and alignment — not image or approval.

Repair is where the sacred becomes sustainable.

5. Rest – The Sacred Integration
Rest is not retreat; it’s restoration.

It’s where everything you’ve endured begins to make sense. It’s the breath between battles and the silence after the storm.

Rest teaches you that rebellion was never about destruction; it was always about divine reordering. It’s the pause that integrates your healing, your lessons, and your liberation.

Rest is how rebellion becomes regeneration, rather than exhaustion.

Again….

None of the stages or steps is an isolated moment. They are sacred movements — a rhythm of rebirth that repeats as life calls you higher. So, each time you move through it, you shed another layer of limitation and gain another layer of liberation.

Now that you’ve walked through these five rhythms with me, I invite you to look inward.

Ask yourself: Where do I find myself in this sacred cycle? Am I in the restlessness of awakening, the reckoning of truth-telling, the rupture of release, the repair of rebuilding, or the rest of renewal?

My friend, listen to your life.

Pay attention to what’s shaking, stirring, or stretching you because those feelings are not accidents. They’re invitations and holy nudges calling you to evolve.

Please repeat after me: Holy Restlessness is not a punishment; it’s my permission. It’s grace, disguised as discomfort, calling me toward my next becoming.

Here’s My Blessing To YOU: 

May your restlessness become revelation.
May your reckoning become release.
May your rupture lead to repair.
And may your rest remind you that divine rebellion is not defiance; it’s devotion to your truth.

If this message resonated with you, I encourage you to revisit the episode “Holy Rebellion: When Restlessness Becomes Revelation” on Apple Podcast or Youtube. You may hear it differently now that your heart has shifted.

And as always, remember:
You were never created to live stuck, silenced, or small.
You were created to SOAR— higher, wiser, freer, and whole.

Blessings,

SharRon

Your “ENOUGH” Is Holy!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Your “ENOUGH” Is Holy!

There comes a moment when the weight of disrespect becomes too heavy to bear. When your body tightens, your spirit trembles, and your soul whispers, no more.

For many Black women, that whisper doesn’t come from weakness; it comes from wisdom. It’s the moment when exhaustion and enlightenment meet, when silence feels like betrayal, and when continuing to endure feels like erasing yourself. 

That moment is the rupture, and though it hurts, it is also holy.

Ruptures are sacred shatterings or divine awakenings.

They happen when you have been stretched too far, stretched too wide, and stretched for too long.

They are when another slight, another dismissal, another “you’re overreacting” slices into the soul that’s already tender from years – sometimes decades – of carrying too much, ignoring too much, and speaking too little.

But ruptures do not always arrive in one dramatic moment. For some, it’s an instant crack—a sharp, undeniable break where everything you believed collapses at once. It’s a single moment that shakes our foundations, alters our relationships, and transforms our beliefs.

For others, it’s a slow widening—a hairline fracture that expands gradually until it becomes a gaping hole in the soul. Or, it’s a series of minor fractures that eventually split our spirits and relationships wide open. It’s a break that can’t be mended.

And for most of us, ruptures never happen in isolation. When one area of our life ruptures or awakens, other areas begin to stir too. The personal touches the professional. The emotional collides with the spiritual. The social ripples through the sacred. The political clashes with the philosophical. Awakening in one area of our lives often inevitably stirs awakenings everywhere, as we realize that aspects of our lives are interconnected and influenced by many factors, many of which are beyond our control.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on some of my own ruptures—especially around friendship and belonging. There were relationships where I allowed too much room for injustice. At first, I mistook silence for strategic support and tolerance for allyship. But over time, I could no longer overlook the quiet minimization and erasure of non-White people. I could not ignore or excuse the way some “friends”—who I thought were allies—stayed silent when colleagues were overlooked, maligned for speaking up, or excluded simply for inviting inclusivity.

It was painful to realize that some people were never on the battlefield with me. They were watching from the sidelines—or worse, secretly protecting and enforcing the very systems that harm people who look like me. That was my rupture, and it’s one that still hasn’t finished healing yet.

Maybe your rupture isn’t professional. Maybe it’s personal, relational, spiritual, or emotional. But regardless of where it shows up, I want you to know this: I see you. I understand you. And you are not alone. 

And most of all, I hope that you don’t equate ruptures with failure, because  I know that ruptures are really freedom trying to find its way out of bondage to experience liberation.

Reflection Prompt: What truth are you no longer willing to swallow? What’s bursting in your soul?

What I have learned is that ruptures bring a gift: revelation.  Revelation is not just an aha moment; it’s the clarity that arrives when your spirit stops pretending not to know what it has always known.

It’s when you begin to recognize what you ignored, resisted, or rationalized. When you finally see what systems are and who people really are—and sometimes, who you have become while trying to survive them.

For some, revelation can feel like both grief and grace because it exposes illusions: the one-sided friendships, the leaders who confused your loyalty with servitude, the environments that required your excellence but denied your existence.

The blessing is that revelations don’t come to shame you. They come to show you where to begin again. Where to look again. Where to see opportunity again. Because when you see, you can choose.

When you see, you can no longer hide behind “maybe they didn’t mean it.” You can stop rationalizing abuse, inequity, and disparity. You can fully honor what your body, spirit, and intuition already knew long before your mind caught up.

Reflection Prompt: What have your wounds been trying to reveal to you?

Revelation is essential, but clarity alone isn’t healing. Seeing the truth is only the first step; living in that truth is the sacred next one.

 That’s where redemption begins, which is a holy process of returning to yourself.

And redemption is not about forgiving the offender first; it’s about rescuing yourself from the cycles of self-abandonment, self-disrespect, and self-erasure.

It’s about remembering that you were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to protect it, preserve it, and honor it.

It is the season when self-trust is rebuilt. When your “yes” and “no” finally find their rightful power and their needed place in your life. When you begin to speak without shrinking, to rest without guilt, to set boundaries without apology, and to disengage without explanation.

My friend, redemption is not perfection; it’s permission. It’s the permission to come home to yourself after living too long in exile. It’s the power to reclaim the parts of yourself that you gave away in exchange for money, access, control, or counterfeit love.

It’s the moment when you whisper, I forgive myself for forgetting who I was. 

And with that whisper, a new kind of peace begins to rise.

Reflection Prompt: What parts of you are waiting to be reclaimed?

When you reclaim yourself, you also reclaim your creative power. That’s when the rebuilding begins. And the rebuilding begins not from what was broken, but from what has been blessed. It starts by acknowledging that losses were lessons and rejection was protection.

Rebuilding doesn’t mean restoring what was, because your newfound wisdom won’t allow you to exist again in those same places.  It means redesigning what will be. Creating what needs to be. Imagining what you hope it will be. 

It means learning to create without crisis, to build without begging, and to dream without doubt.

Rebuilding is slow, deliberate, sacred work. It’s learning how to live from truth instead of trauma. It’s trusting that you can build something holy, healthy, and whole—on your own terms, in your own time, with your own voice.

This is the work of wholeness: making peace with the past, reclaiming your power, and creating a life aligned with your values and not your wounds.

Reflection Prompt: What foundation are you ready to lay beneath your life now?

Where am I now?

Those relationships that I once valued look different now.  Some are strained. Some have ended. Some are clumsy.

And others, I’m keeping strategically close, not out of comfort, but out of purpose. I stay connected to access the information and insight needed to help others who are more vulnerable than I am, as I know that equity and empathy are still evolving or nonexistent in many settings.

But even as I move forward, I still feel the sting of it all, and the wound is healing, but slower than I expected.  The healing is slower, not because I haven’t done my emotional work, but because the world keeps reopening it or stalling the recovery process.. The political climate, the visible injustice, and the sheer amount of human suffering make it difficult to close what was once painfully cracked open.

The truth is, each headline, each story, each silence around suffering reminds me how deeply personal pain is connected to collective pain. And sometimes, that awareness makes healing harder. But even in that tension, there’s truth. A truth that reminds me that our healing is never just about us.  It’s also about the world we live in, the systems we’re part of, the people we’re still called to serve, and a divine purpose we are called to fulfill.

That’s the paradox of growth:
 You can forgive, but still protect yourself.
 You can outgrow people and still hold compassion for their journey.
 You can keep your heart open without keeping yourself unguarded.

I believe ruptures are holy. They are divine thresholds.

When women, especially Black women, reach that sacred threshold…when we finally say enough—it’s not the end of our story. It’s the beginning of our liberation. It’s the acknowledgment and awareness that we are ready to come back home to ourselves.

That’s why I know that ….

Every rupture is a rebirth.
 Every revelation is a reckoning.
 Every redemption is a return.
 Every rebuild is a resurrection.

So if you find yourself standing in your own moment of breaking, remember this: Your rupture is not your ruin. It is your release. It is your resurrection, revival, and renewal.

It’s a sacred stage that offers YOU an opportunity to name what hurts, to reclaim what’s true, to rebuild what you need, and to restore your peace — piece by piece.

My friend, YOUR ENOUGH is holy.

You are holy!

And I know that the best is yet to come.

Blessings!

SharRon

P.S. I look share more in the Deciding To Soar Podcast. Also, if you are not receiving my newsletters, please subscribe. I share more intimate details and insight with that community.

 

Stop Telling Your Business

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on Stop Telling Your Business

Some People Don’t Act Like Sanctuaries; They Act Like Cesspools.

Yes, I said it, and I will not take it back.

I know that my words may sound harsh, but I say it with love because I want to protect you from the pain of misplaced trust. 

Because…

When we are tired, hungry for relief, and longing to be understood, it is easy to let our guard down. And in those moments of need, or when we feel incredibly vulnerable, we often mistake availability for suitability. So, despite not knowing a person’s character and motives, we over-share and disclose sensitive information about our lives with people who may not genuinely care about us, our reputations, or our careers.

Sound familiar? If so, you are not alone.

It may be hard to admit, but throughout our careers, we have all shared sensitive information about ourselves with the wrong people. Why? Because it is human to desire a safe place to “lay your burdens down.” Yet when political division is high and personal compassion is low, we must be more discerning and thoughtful about what we disclose and with whom we trust our truths.

The truth is, some people lack the capacity or desire to support us.

Why?

  • They have not done their own personal work, and they do not know who they are.
  • They may not have developed spiritually or emotionally enough to handle and protect confidential information with care.
  • They have not challenged their own cultural assumptions, corporate motives, or historical narratives, and so they feel entitled to harm without accountability or concern.
  • They are just mean-spirited. Yes, some people are just cruel and vindictive.

When we share with people like that, those who are incapable of being emotional sanctuaries, we suffer. We suffer because unhealed or morally empty people will betray us. They wound us with our own words. They weaponize our work. They will steal our ideas. They will destroy us with our own disclosures. Sometimes they repeat our confessions to our enemies or in spaces we never authorized. Additionally, they misrepresent our thoughts or exaggerate our statements, turning our personal pain into gossip rather than being met with understanding and compassion.

I have personally been hurt by confiding in a colleague whom I thought was trustworthy. Over dinner, I once shared that I was having a medical procedure. And a week after my disclosure, I learned that my colleague had been awarded an assignment for which I was uniquely qualified and had advocated to lead.

How did she get it? She “let it slip” to leadership that I was sick and claimed my medical issues would make me unavailable to attend meetings and unable to complete the assignment. I was livid because I never said that, but that was what she shared.

When I confronted her, she offered tears and insisted she was “protecting me” because she cared. Cared? No. It was all lies. She ONLY cared about herself and her career.

The truth was that I should never have disclosed something so personal because she had done nothing to earn my trust. Nothing. What I later realized was that my colleague viewed my medical crisis as an opportunity to advance her career. But karma had the final word, and she flopped. After all, she was never qualified to lead the project.

It was a painful lesson, but it taught me something I will never forget: trust must be earned, not assumed. And my need for comfort can never outweigh my need for discernment.

So how do we avoid these pitfalls? How do you not get sucked in like I did? How do we distinguish between individuals who are truly sanctuaries and those who are cesspools? The answer is Discernment, and Discernment shows up in the patterns we notice and the questions we dare to ask about how a person shows up in the world.

Here are some clues to look for BEFORE you trust others with your truth.

1. Look at how they live their lives.

Do they walk their talk? Do their choices match their words? If a person does not live with alignment, they will not hold your life with integrity. Remember, you will know who people are by what they do, not by what they say. Their habits, commitments, and relationships will reveal whether they can handle the weight of your disclosure. Never assume someone has the capacity to hold your story if they have never demonstrated the capacity to hold their own.

2. Notice if they are always talking about others.

If someone freely shares stories that are not theirs to share, you can be certain that your story will eventually be added to the mix. It does not matter if they hide names or sprinkle in disclaimers. If they do not respect the boundaries of another person’s life, they will not respect the boundaries of yours. Remember, discussing people without their permission is a red flag. Gossipers may entertain you today, but they will expose you tomorrow.

3. Pay attention to reciprocal sharing.

Healthy relationships require balance. It is one thing to share openly with a counselor, minister, or mentor, because those roles are built on intentional one-way disclosure. But it is very different when you are in peer relationships. If you share all of your struggles, scars, and stories, and the other person offers nothing about themselves, the relationship is lopsided. You are giving them your truths, your fears, and your innermost thoughts, and you are getting nothing in return. This imbalance can turn into exploitation.

I live by a personal policy: I do not share with people who do not share with me. It protects my spirit and ensures there is a mutual exchange of trust.

4. Be cautious of those who have nothing to lose.

If a person has nothing at stake, then they also have nothing restraining them from betraying you. People who lack stability, accountability, or credibility may see your story as currency. They may treat your vulnerability as something to leverage instead of something to protect. Before you trust, ask yourself: What would it cost this person to violate me? If the answer is “nothing,” then they are not safe.

5. Confess up, share laterally.

When you are in a leadership position, you must respect the boundaries of hierarchy. Your direct reports are not your confidants. They may be kind, loyal, and even trustworthy, but the relationship is not structured for them to carry your personal burdens or most profound truths. Sharing downward creates confusion and undermines your leadership.

The wise path is to confess upward to mentors, spiritual advisors, or professional guides, and share laterally with trusted peers who are not dependent on you. Confess up. Share across. Never confess down.

6. Remember the climate we live in.

The world is charged with vitriol, inequity, and division. Unfortunately, that same toxicity flows into our corporations, churches, and communities. One wrong word can cost you a career. A misplaced story can fracture a friendship.

The weight of leadership, identity, and survival is heavy. That is why Discernment is not just wise, it is necessary. Not everyone possesses the emotional intelligence, moral compass, or spiritual maturity to navigate the complexities of your truth.

7. Some people who seem like assistants are actually assassins.

This is a harsh truth: some of the people closest to you are not your allies. They are clever, cunning, and strategically placed assassins who were sent to study you. They are there to collect data, to identify your vulnerabilities, learn your weaknesses, and understand your patterns. They are on assignment to study your pain, expose your weaknesses, and assess the depth of your expertise. They seem curious and concerned, but they are cunning and calculating. Their presence is not benign; it is a well-constructed plot.

How do you know? They always seem to be around when you are stressed, insecure, or after difficult conversations. They are privy to details about your life that you have never shared publicly. They are always present during your breakdowns, but absent during your breakthroughs. They are quick to offer advice and appear to mentor you, while secretly sharpening a knife to stab you in the back.

They are not there because they care about you, your reputation, or your well-being. They are there because their egos are inflated, but are unaware they are actually being used as tools—played like fools—by those who are even more corrupt.

It is sad, but true.

So, trust your gut. Ask yourself: Why is this person always around when I am struggling? Why do they insist on “picking my brain” or “seeking my guidance”? Why are they the first to nominate me for opportunities that could kill my reputation, derail my career, or put me in harm’s way?

Do not be naive. Just because they are close does not mean they are concerned. They are present only to cut, collect, consume, and control, but NEVER to care.

That is why Discernment is key. By tracking patterns, questioning motives, and trusting intuition, you can prevent a lot of heartache. If something feels off or unsettles you, do not lower your guard.

Five Things You Can Do When You Need a Safe Place

  1. Pause before you pour. Sit with your feelings first so you know what you truly need.
  2. Pray or journal. Sometimes your safest sanctuary is your own spirit or your own page.
  3. Identify one vetted confidant. Choose someone who has shown alignment, reciprocity, and confidentiality.
  4. Seek professional safe spaces. Therapists, coaches, mentors, or spiritual advisors are trained to carry what peers cannot.
  5. Create community with caution. Build circles of trust slowly, based on receipts, not rhetoric. Safe spaces are cultivated, not assumed.

My friend, be careful. Be mindful. Know the difference between a sanctuary and a cesspool.

A person who is a sanctuary will witness you without wounding you. A cesspool will pollute what is pure.
 A person who is a sanctuary will protect your secrets. A cesspool will spread them like waste.
 A person who is a sanctuary will affirm your humanity. A cesspool will erode your confidence, your character, and your calling.

Remember, this is not about labeling people as bad. It is about recognizing who has done their own emotional work and who has not.

So, choose wisely where you rest your soul, where you place your trust, and where you plant your most vulnerable truths so you can SOAR!

Blessings.

SharRon

Three Affirmations for Safety and Discernment

  1. I deserve safe spaces that honor my truth and protect my heart.
  2. I trust myself to discern between sanctuaries and cesspools.
  3. My vulnerability is sacred.

Do ONLY What Matters!!!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Do ONLY What Matters!!!

Lately, I’ve been noticing how easy it is NOT to focus on what really matters. When you are experiencing numerous challenges and changes—such as job loss, life transitions, injustice, political chaos, financial strain, global crises, and personal uncertainties—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or distracted. It is easy to feel like you’re just existing or just living in survival mode.

The truth is, when life feels fragile or uncertain, if we are not careful, we can spiral downward. We can unconsciously minimize our needs, rationalize unhealthy behaviors, or agonize over events. Unfortunately, when we do that, we usually make matters worse, add fuel to the proverbial fire, or sink into feelings of hopelessness.  And, none of those behaviors are empowering, helpful, or soul-nourishing. Unfortunately, I have tried all of them.

So this week, I’ve been reminding myself that ONLY 4 things really MATTER:

1. How I feel matters. My emotions and intuition carry wisdom and guidance. They signal me to pay attention, to pivot, or to pause. So, I listen to those inner messages and signals because they can sense what I can’t see, yet.

2. My values matter. In uncertain times, my values are my compass. They guide me. When life gets frustrating, they ensure that I don’t compromise my integrity or succumb to peer pressure. They also ensure that I don’t elevate public acceptance over my soul’s alignment. Thankfully, my values keep me grounded, empowered, and emboldened to do my life’s work, even when it’s risky or difficult.

3,. What I know matters. I have learned a lot in 60 years. And, the lessons I’ve learned and the miracles I have experienced carry power. They remind me that God is in control and is orchestrating everything for my highest good. So even when I feel drained or demoralized, I remind myself that my long-term purpose is greater than the temporary pain.

Note: I don’t bypass the pain. I honor and look for the wisdom in the wound because I believe that God created me to WIN. And I will WIN when I am being ME. Not the public me. Not the socially curated me. Not the ME people want me to be. The ME that God created me to be because the ME that God created is a WINNER. Being a winner is my identity. That’s what I know to be true, and I hope you know that to be true for you as well. YOU ARE A WINNER! It’s who you are, and circumstances won’t change your God-given identity.

4. What people think about me doesn’t matter.  Everybody has an opinion about who you are and who they think you should be. But nobody’s opinions about me matter to me more than my own opinion of myself. Nobody! Nobody defines my worth, determines my goals, decides how much money I can make, who I can love, what I can wear, or how I live my life. Nobody! And because I don’t let external validation and approval usurp what I know about myself, my purpose, or my humanity, I have peace in my soul even when there is conflict in the world. Note: Some people may perceive me as arrogant. I know its soul and God-designed alignment.

These four reminders—feelings, values, self-knowledge, and release from others’ opinions—are not just concepts. They are anchors. They help us hold on when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control. They keep us grounded and rooted in ourselves so we don’t drift away from our own hearts, minds, and souls. This week, I invite you to think about these truths and anchor yourself or strengthen your anchor by asking yourself:

  • How am I really feeling today?
  • Where am I letting someone else’s opinion dictate my choices?
  • Which values do I need to honor right now?
  • What beliefs do I need to embody to stand boldly in the storm?
  • What patterns do I need to rethink to bring peace, synergy, and harmony to my life?
  • What life transition am I struggling with, and how can my values ground me?
  • What life lesson do I need to remember to stay motivated?
  • Where am I too invested in making others understand me, accept me, or co-sign my decisions?

Remember: The world is a bit chaotic right now, so find support.  Also, remember that when you connect with people who see and encourage you, you can hold these truths about yourself more deeply and more easily. And when you can hold them for yourself, you can become a mirror for others to hold their truths.

And together, we can strengthen each other as we all experience and endure the waves—and sometimes storms—of change.

I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts about these 4 truths?

If this message resonates with you, please share this email. Sometimes, a small reminder is all a person needs to know that they’re not alone.

Affirmations

  • I can live in chaos, but chaos doesn’t have to live in me.
  • I am safe with myself.
  • I can still pray for change and celebrate my current progress.
  • I can be well in an unwell world.

Listen to the podcast on this topic.

September’s Invitation: Time For A Sacred Check-In

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Welcome to September and the beauty of fall. There’s something about this season—the crisp air, the turning leaves, the earlier sunsets, children returning to school—that invites us to pause and reflect. It feels like nature itself is whispering: things are shifting, and so are you. 

But September is also special for another reason. It’s the ninth month of the year, and in the language of numbers, nine symbolizes completion. Completion doesn’t only mean finished. It means a cycle has been honored, a chapter has been fulfilled, and you are being prepared for what comes next. 

That’s why, for me—and many of my clients, September is a sacred checkpoint. It’s the time when we step back to review our year, reassess our direction, and realign with what matters most. We ask: What have I outgrown? What do I need to release? What deserves my attention now? This month is an excellent opportunity to take inventory and make sure that our outer life is still reflecting our inner truth. 

We start this “fall inventory” process with four simple but powerful steps: 

  1. Be Honest with Yourself

Every new beginning starts with honesty. Who are you right now—not who you were six months ago, not who others expect you to be, but who you truly are in this moment? What do you need? What do you desire at this stage of your life? What do you want to stop doing?

Application: Take a journal this week and write down three truths about who you are today. Don’t edit. Don’t filter. Let your words reflect your reality, even if it feels uncomfortable. That honesty will become the foundation for your next season. 

  1. Accept That Your Truth Evolves

Growth changes us. Healing shifts us. Awakening opens our eyes. The truth that guided you last season may not be the truth that serves you now. And that’s okay. Sometimes your destiny requires a pivot—a change in direction so that you can walk into greater abundance, alignment, and ease. 

Application: Think about one belief, goal, or role that no longer fits who you are becoming. What would it look like to loosen your grip? Where might your life expand if you allowed yourself to pivot? 

  1. Embrace Confrontation as Transformation

I know the word “confrontational” can feel heavy, but it’s not always a negative connotation. Living in your truth may confront old paradigms, interrogate limiting beliefs, challenge old identities, or contradict cultural norms. That confrontation is how transformation begins. Remember, the status quo is safe, but it rarely produces miracles, memories, or momentum. 

Application: Ask yourself: What needs to be confronted in my life right now? It could be a habit, a relationship dynamic, or even a limiting story you’ve told yourself for years. Remember, when you lovingly confront what no longer serves you, you create space for what will serve you better. 

  1. Choose Courage Through New Choices

Every new truth requires new choices. Some risks are small, some are big, but all require courage. Whether you’re a planner who takes careful steps or a visionary who leaps, the point is not how fast you move but that you move in alignment with your truth. 

Application: Identify one courageous choice you can make this month—something that brings your outer life into harmony with your inner truth. It doesn’t have to be dramatic; even a small decision can shift your entire trajectory when it’s rooted in authenticity. 

So, as you step into September, reflect on what feels complete in your life, what no longer fits, and what courageous choice you can make this month to align more fully with who you are becoming. 

Reminder: Completion is not just about endings; it’s about becoming ready for the beginning you deserve. 

Reflection Questions for Your September Inventory 

  1. What feels complete in my life right now—and how can I honor its closure? 
  2. Where have I outgrown old goals, roles, identities, or beliefs? 
  3. What truth about myself am I resisting because it feels confrontational or disruptive? 
  4. What is one courageous choice I can make this month that aligns me with who I am becoming? 
  5. How can I invite more peace, integrity, and authenticity into my daily life this season? 
  6. What relationships with people, organizations, or jobs do I need to reassess, reimagine, or release so I can go?

Completion is not an ending; it’s preparation for the beginning you deserve and desire.

I re-released a podcast that shares more about this topic. 

Please listen and let me know your thoughts. 

Affirmation: I am growing and I will change my mind, my path, and beliefs so I can SOAR HIGHER!

Blessings! 

SharRon

 

From GLUE to GOLD: Thriving Beyond Downsizing

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My mother once told me, “Be the glue, but don’t lose your gold.”

As a child, I didn’t understand the wisdom behind her words. But life has a way of making old lessons resurface, especially when we need them most. And today, that wisdom is needed more than ever, because so many talented women are navigating career transitions, layoffs, and burnout in workplaces that do not fully recognize their value.  And it is in moments like these—when workplaces are shifting and careers are being redefined—that we must remember the difference between being the GLUE and living in our GOLD.

What It Means to Be the GLUE

🌿 GLUE holds everything together.

At work, it’s the person who steps in when projects fall apart, the one who carries failing teams on her shoulders, or the one who smooths over conflicts no one else wants to touch.

In families, it’s the one who remembers every birthday, keeps traditions alive, and fills in the gaps so no one feels the cracks.

In communities, it’s the one who volunteers, organizes, and shows up even when exhausted.

But here’s the more profound truth: while GLUE keeps things together, it can also trap you in places where you no longer belong.

  • Organizationally, GLUE can preserve broken systems, uphold biased practices, and maintain policies that don’t honor your worth.
  • Personally, GLUE can steal your time, stifle your growth, and silence your unique gifts.
  • Spiritually, GLUE can drain your energy, blur your boundaries, and keep you from fulfilling your purpose.

If you’re not careful, GLUE doesn’t just hold things together; it holds you back. 

What It Means to Live in Your GOLD

🌟 GOLD is different.

GOLD is your brilliance. It’s your voice being heard, your name on the byline, your art on the wall, your business thriving, your vision shaping conversations. GOLD is when you aren’t just patching up holes in someone else’s life; you’re flourishing in the fullness of who you are.

And here’s the power of GOLD:

  • Personally, GOLD restores your energy, dignity, and joy.

  • Professionally, GOLD fuels resilience after layoffs, opens doors, changes conversations, and sets new standards for what’s possible.

  • Culturally, GOLD disrupts the status quo, challenges injustice, and inspires others to bring their gifts forward.

GOLD doesn’t just shine; it transforms. And the blessing is, when you step into your GOLD, you make room for others to step into theirs, too.

Not long ago, I spoke with a woman who had just been downsized after nearly twenty years with her company. She had been the GLUE for years. She was the one who trained new staff, stayed late when deadlines loomed, and kept entire departments running smoothly. Her managers praised her dependability but never promoted her.

When the layoffs came, she was among the first to go.

At first, she felt invisible and discarded after years of holding everything together. But over time, she realized something important: they had let go of the GLUE, but they could never erase her GOLD that was encoded in her DNA. The skills, the creativity, the vision that had been overlooked at work for decades were still hers to use, develop, and leverage.  And with new realization and renewed courage, she began building something of her own – something that reflected her brilliance instead of diminishing it.

Her story is a reminder that downsizing does not define you. In fact, career transitions can be an invitation and the catalyst you need to reclaim your purpose, honor your gifts, and step fully into your God-given GOLD.

Her story is a reminder for us all that…

✨ GLUE may protect what exists, but it often does so at your expense. It can leave you overextended, underappreciated, and unseen.
✨ GOLD, on the other hand, fuels new beginnings. It gives you energy, clarity, and courage to create, lead, and live in alignment with your true purpose.

This week, as you consider your own journey, ask yourself:

  • Where am I pouring myself out as GLUE, and what is it costing me?

  • If I keep holding everything together, what parts of me might fall apart?

  • Where in my life do I need to stop preserving and start transforming?

  • How would I live differently if I treated my GOLD as urgent, precious, and sacred?

  • What’s one bold way I can honor my GOLD this month?

 Remember: Being GLUE isn’t bad; sometimes it’s necessary. But if being the GLUE starts to rob you of joy, peace, and the chance to live fully in your GOLD, it’s time to make adjustments to honor your divine call.

Affirm: I honor my GOLD. Titles or positions do not define or diminish my value. My gifts are alive, radiant, and ready to transform my life and the world around me.

Are You Just Being Needed or Being Valued?

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Many great causes and movements need YOU.

Why?

Our communities are in crisis. The world is full of worthy causes, urgent concerns, and endless calls for help. And if you are justice-minded, heart-led, and spiritually grounded, it is natural to want to show up. To help. To heal. To contribute.

And let me say this clearly: your compassion is a sacred gift. It is what makes you human, generous, empathetic, and communal. Also, the philosophy of mutual aid is rooted in our cultural DNA.

But over time, without discernment, your desire to help can become a habit that costs YOU more than it heals the world.

Why?

Your desire to help, whether driven by internal needs or external teachings, can lead you to over-function, exploit your need for validation, or manipulate you into giving something you don’t have. ( I will address this experience in another blog or podcast.)

So, let’s have an honest conversation because being needed is not the same as being valued.

  • Being needed means someone wants or expects your time, talent, or presence because it fills a gap or a role.
  • Being needed is about filling a function, supplying resources, and providing expertise.
  • Being needed is about always being on someone’s emergency response team or constantly being the go-to person.
  • Being needed means that people will continue to use you without acknowledging that they are using you up!

Being valued is different, and it feels different to the body and soul.

Being valued means someone honors your being, your boundaries, and your well-being.

Being valued means that someone honors our brilliance and appreciates our bandwidth.

Being valued means that people appreciate your expertise but never expect your exhaustion.

Being valued means that people recognize your expertise and experience, but never feel entitled to either.

Being valued means that people and organizations know the difference between constant rescue and communal reciprocity.

Let me say it another way for the people in the back. 🙂

When you’re needed, you are often called in times of crisis, praised for what you produce, and expected to give without rest. Sounds familiar?

When you’re valued, you are included in the planning process, appreciated for your wisdom, allowed to have input, and seen as essential, not expendable.

This is why so many brilliant, big-hearted people are burned out. They are celebrated for their service, but silently suffer, feel unsupported, or feel siphoned. They are applauded for being helpful while feeling hollowed out inside. And to add insult to injury, the more they give, the more people take, demand, and expect.

So, if you feel overused, overcommitted, and underappreciated, pause. Not because the work is not important, but because you are important, too. You are a valuable part of any equation and a tremendous asset to any cause.

Also, you were not created to live in chronic sacrifice or be constantly overwhelmed, even if the organization is doing meaningful, necessary work. You were also made for joy, rest, and soul-deep alignment.

Here’s a tool I use to check in with my spirit and body before saying yes to any request to serve, volunteer, or accept an assignment.

Pause. Process. Proceed. Walk in Peace.

Pause – If it is NOT a life and death situation, pause. Don’t rush into yes—still yourself. Slow down.
Process – Ask: Is this request or relationship aligned with my values and energy? Is this request a pattern or a partnership?
Proceed – Only if the exchange is rooted in dignity, not just duty. Remember, every choice has a cost and consequence.
Walk in Peace – Honor your decision without feeling guilty, knowing that your “no” can be just as holy as your “yes.”

Let’s normalize asking:
– Who honors me while asking for my help?
– Where do I feel seen, not just summoned?
– What opportunities allow me to contribute and stay connected to my humanity, dignity, and joy?
– What feels aligned with my path, purpose, destiny, or interest?

The world needs you – the whole you. The rested you. The respected you. The radiant you.

Here’s the question: What version of YOU are you giving to yourself, offering to the world, or volunteering to the cause? Are you operating from overflow or overwhelm?

I share more thoughts about feeling needed vs feeling valued in the newest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way. It’s available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and other podcast platforms. Please subscribe when you visit, leave a review, or send me an email to share your thoughts.

Also, if you have been struggling to say NO and discern where to share your time, I want to invite you to a workshop: Wholeness: Living Free in a Confining World — A Spiritual Strategy for Saying Yes to Yourself Without Shame. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk about issues and create solutions when you don’t feel alone. Join us and dare to serve in a way that sustains you.

I know this is a controversial perspective, and may seem hypocritical coming from me, a minister, but we have to talk about always BEING NEEDED. You deserve rest.

Blessings to you as you discern where and when to spend your precious time!

SharRon

 

Be the Gate, Not the Gutter!

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I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you arrived through curiosity, community, or a soft whisper from your soul, I want to thank you for visiting my website. I know life moves fast, and time is sacred, so I honor your presence and pause.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting deeply on how we move through the world when everything around us feels uncertain or unclear. And while I’m not here to sound an alarm, I am here to say that we must understand the four essential roles we  MUST play in our lives, especially during challenging times.

These roles are essential spiritual muscles that help us show up in our truth, activate our agency, and center our souls. And in moments when everything is vying for your attention—media, politics, institutions, loved ones, fears, your needs – embracing these roles will change how you lead, love, and live.

Honestly, it took me almost 50 years to define and name the roles. Not because I lacked wisdom, but because it was difficult to discern what was needed in a culture that was constantly evolving to keep certain groups hustling, conforming, and abiding by the status quo.  But through the years— almost 4 decades of serving in corporate leadership, ministry, and entrepreneurship— I’ve discovered how these 4 roles can refine, protect, and shift how you live, lead, and love.

I refer to these roles as the Gate, the Glue, the Gap, and the Guardian. Let’s explore the roles together and identify the “MUST DO” behaviors that can fortify, empower, and stabilize you amid the uncertain winds of change.

As the Gate, you must activate your gift of discernment. You must realize that not everything or everyone deserves access to your life, your heart, your attention, or your energy. You must also recognize that boundaries are not about creating walls; they are about honoring and maintaining your worth, wealth, well-being, and worthiness. As a result, you must constantly evaluate what enters your life and to what degree so you can build and blossom without feeling burdened and burnt out.

As the Glue, you must be a soul-nourishing connector and cross-cultural collaborator.  You must learn how to bring people together with purpose, clarity, and empathy. However, being the Glue does not mean you succumb to martyrdom or mindlessly build bridges. No way! It means you should build bonds, promote mutuality, and create vital networks to support positive change. And through prayer and spiritual precision, not peer pressure, you can intentionally find ways to unify and mobilize people around causes that support the common good. (Don’t forget: GLUE is sticky, which means you must FIRST stick to your values, exemplify integrity, and demonstrate empathy to ensure you can build bridges based on truth, trust, and transparency.)

As the Gap, you must get comfortable stepping into what others fear: the unknown, the broken, the different, the uncertain, the inconvenient,  the unpopular, the uncommon,  and the invisible. You must bravely identify opportunities to rewrite rules, shape language, and dismantle barriers so all can thrive. Being the GAP also means reclaiming visionary practices of prayer, tapping into your intuition, and walking by faith. Doing so will keep you connected to God and ensure that you don’t limit yourself to your current circumstances, political realities, historical narratives, or personal suffering, so that you won’t get derailed amid adversity, attacks, and avarice.

As the Guardian, your priority must be protecting what matters most – your peace, values, health, imagination, time, purpose, and dreams. This means you must get comfortable saying “NO” to guilt, grandstanding, and gaslighting, which will provide the freedom you need to move without judgment, hesitation, or self-doubt.  Since you will be required to lead and take risks, you must lavish yourself and others with grace and peace, remembering that we are all on a journey, learning and unlearning as we go. You must also dedicate time and space for new revelations, so that fresh wisdom can freely take root in your bones and find refuge in my heart. Remember, during times of transition and political polarization, it is essential to protect your health, preserve your strength,  and cultivate liberatory practices that keep you receptive to God’s voice.

Each role is vital to your overall well-being. However, you must also declare and confront what you are not.

You must  NEVER be the Gutter. You cannot absorb dysfunction or allow toxicity in your life. You can’t accept or tolerate emotional, political, historical, doctrinal, religious, or workplace debris from those who won’t do their own healing or invest in their own growth. You can’t let the worst in others define the best in you or minimize your worth. Even if you must stand alone, you can’t let historical narratives or the loudest voices in the room drown out the truth that you know and the wisdom others need.  You can’t let bullies, boredom, and burnout steal your creativity, wonder, and joy. Most of all, you can’t let your mind or space become a dumping ground for dangerous outcomes, endless revenge, or immature decision-making. Even at your worst and when circumstances look bleak, you must remember to be the treasure, but NEVER the trash.

These lessons changed me, and I believe they will change you too. So, if you’re navigating a transition, reclaiming your identity, stepping into your next season, or just trying to process the chaos in the world, I invite you to listen to the episode. Why? This episode isn’t just a podcast; it’s a permission slip to live fully, freely, and faithfully.

Tune in now on Apple Podcast → Gate. Glue. Gap. Guardian. NEVER Gutter – Key Life Lessons in less than 10 Minutes.

Listen on YouTube → Be the Gate, Not the Gutter: Key Life Lessons That I Learned In 50 Years All in 10 Minutes.

As you reflect on the roles in your life, consider the following questions to help you evaluate how you can show up more powerfully as you continue your culture-shifting, purpose-informed work.

✨ Reflection Questions: Live It, Don’t Just Learn It

Be the GATE: What do you need to protect or filter?

  • What thoughts, people, or energies have I allowed into my life that I need to release or restrict?
  • What boundaries have I been afraid to enforce because I feared rejection or conflict?
  • How can I better guard my mind, time, and spirit from distractions and emotional drain?

Be the GLUE: How do you build connection and collaboration?

  • Where in my life or leadership can I help people come together with more compassion and clarity?
  • How am I modeling empathy over ego in difficult situations?
  • How can I support my community, team, or family without over-functioning or losing myself?

Be the GAP: Where are you uniquely called to stand in the in-between?

  • What problem, pattern, or possibility do I see that others may not?
  • Where am I being asked to be the bridge, not the builder of both sides, but the bold connector between them?
  • What fear must I release to step into the space where transformation can happen, and differences co-exist?

Be the GUARDIAN: What must you protect to stay whole?

  • What aspects of my peace, health, or joy am I currently sacrificing—and why?
  • What relationships, roles, or routines no longer honor my worth or well-being?
  • How can I start guarding my purpose with the same commitment I give to protecting others?

Avoid the GUTTER: What do you need to unlearn to stop absorbing toxicity?

  • Where am I participating in gossip, drama, or dysfunction under the guise of connection or loyalty?
  • What parts of myself do I betray just to belong, be liked, or avoid conflict?
  • How can I stop carrying what doesn’t belong to me— other people’s pain, projections, or poison?

Remember, these roles aren’t just concepts; they are roles to support your vision, well-being, and your calling. And I know that if you embody the roles, you will soar higher than you have ever soared before.

My friend, if you are interested in exploring these roles in greater detail, I invite you to join me on Saturday, July 19th, for a 90-minute live workshop, where we’ll delve deeper into the roles of the Gate, Glue, Gap, and Guardian.

Together, we’ll explore how to apply these roles courageously in your life, career, and calling, so you can lead with purpose, amplify your impact, and safeguard your well-being.

If this message resonated with you, please share this blog with someone who could use some encouragement. And please don’t forget to subscribe to the Deciding to Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast for more soulful strategies to help you live, lead, and love on your own terms.

Never forget: You were born for more. You were built to soar.

Thank you for taking the time to reflect and read with me. I appreciate you. (Subscribe to my newsletter)

Blessings to you!

SharRon

P.S. I want you to know that I am not ignoring what’s happening in the world. These are hard, heartbreaking, and often horrifying times. Like many of you, I’m still trying to process it all. But I remain committed to praying, protesting, donating, and sharing my time to support efforts that honor the common good. In the meantime, I’ll continue to write and share this blog, trusting that God continues to give me words that offer spiritual sustenance and wisdom in a time of collective grief, growth, and awakening.

When Help Isn’t Healing: What I Learned About Support During My Sacred Season

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Asking for help isn’t always easy. But learning to receive it—that’s an entirely different kind of courage.

How do I know?

Recently, I found myself navigating a difficult season physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was sick, and for the first time in a long time, I had to lean on others more than I wanted to. I had to ask, trust, be vulnerable, expose my frailties, and let people into parts of my life that I usually don’t talk about.

While some people showed up with tenderness, patience, and care, others showed up with conditions, expectations, and ego. It was humbling, and honestly, it was heartbreaking.

But it also taught me a lesson I’m still carrying today: Not all help is healing.

The Hard Truth About “Help” is… When you’re in a vulnerable place, every offer of support can feel like a lifeline.

But here’s what I’ve also learned:

  • Some people offer help to feel useful, not to actually be of use.
  • Some offer support with invisible strings attached.
  • And some want access to your pain, not because they care, but because it gives them a story to share with others or a sense of control.

I had to admit that support like that didn’t feel good. In fact, it felt manipulative. It didn’t create peace; it added more pressure. And in those moments when I needed care the most, I had to make some soul-honoring decisions to protect my dignity, not just my body.

I thought my experience was unique, but in a recent conversation, I learned others had also struggled with asking for and receiving help that felt nourishing, safe, and loving. We also identified some factors that helped requesting and receiving assistance feel safer,  more honoring, and extremely affirming.

We agree that help feels healing when there is….

  1. Specificity. Specificity is vital. Be specific about what you need. If you can, think it through or tell people you really don’t know what you need, and let them help support you based on their understanding.
  2. Capacity. Ask people who are emotionally, spiritually, or financially equipped to show up. Some people may not be, and that’s okay.
  3. Trust. Trust is sacred. If someone has violated your boundaries before, they may not be the safest option to support you again.
  4. Discernement. Discernment is protection. Just because someone can help doesn’t mean they should.
  5. Mutuality. Mutuality matters. If someone keeps score or expects emotional repayment, it’s not generosity, it’s leverage.

So, if you’re in a season where you need help, or if you’re unsure about the help being offered, consider these:

  • Does this support make me feel seen, safe, and stronger?
  • Do I trust this person to honor my vulnerability without judgment or gossip?
  • Am I accepting help out of fear, guilt, or obligation?
  • Do I have the freedom to ask for the kind of help I actually want?

Let me be clear: You are not ungrateful for wanting nourishing help.

You are not selfish for refusing support that drains your spirit.

And you are not broken because you’ve struggled to ask for help in the past.

You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to name your needs. You are allowed to receive help without surrendering your soul.

If this message resonates, I encourage you to check out my latest podcast episode, “When Help Isn’t Healing,” where I unpack this conversation more deeply. The podcast is available on Apple Podcast or you can listen on YouTube.

Thinking of you as you courageously ask for help.

SharRon

The Power of SHIFT Support: Reframing Strength, Asking for Help, and Becoming Whole

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I hope this message finds you well-rested in your body, nourished in your spirit, and deeply connected to those who help you feel seen, safe, and supported. We all need and deserve that kind of care in our lives, especially today. 💜

Family, recently, some friends and clients have shared that they are experiencing “life quakes” in their lives. Those moments can shake your very foundation and make you question your ability to make wise choices or stay aligned with your values. And you know what? I have been feeling the same way, as I am also navigating some significant transitions in my life.

Honestly, my recent life transitions have been taxing and have required a few favors from some trusted friends.  And although I believe in the power of community and I value helping others, I still struggled when I asked for and received support. Admitting that I needed an extra set of hands, a ride from the hospital, or extensions on work deadlines felt uncomfortable and scary for me. So, if you’ve ever found it hard to reach out, you’re not alone. Many people struggle to ask for help, especially when they need it most.

For example, a few decades ago, when I was going through a divorce, I needed lots of help. I had just been promoted at work, and while I was managing everything extremely well on the outside, inside, I was unraveling. I didn’t know how to care for an energetic toddler, perform in a high-pressure job, manage a household, and still make space for my own heartbreak and healing. Family, the pressure was relentless, the loneliness was suffocating, and the shame of needing help but not knowing how to ask for it felt heavier than my responsibilities. Trust me; I was a hot mess!

But what caught me most off guard wasn’t just the new routines and the extensive to-do list. It was the emotional shifts I had to navigate as I tried to reinvent myself and accept my new identity as a single working mom. It was a crazy time, and I struggled to hold everything together for me and my son.

What I wish someone had told me then: Shifting is sacred but not simple.

It is not just the outer and logistical changes that challenge us. It is the emotional layers of grief, shame, fear, and uncertainty that spiritually and emotionally derail you. And when all that hits you at once, it can leave you feeling lost and questioning your worth, your strength, and your direction. Does this sound familiar?

Let’s say it together: SHIFTING IS HARD.

Whether starting over in a new city, changing careers, ending or beginning a relationship, buying a new home, adapting to a health diagnosis, experiencing a financial crisis,  or grappling with your faith, any major life shift or life quake can overwhelm you.

And that is why we need something I call SHIFT Support—soulful, structured, gentle care that honors your heart, mind, and spirit. We need support that feels intentional and compassionate and provides wisdom, warmth, strategy, and soulfulness. We need a wise mentor who can journey with us so we feel aided, not judged, as we navigate the unknown. Most importantly, we need SHIFT Support that helps us move from barely surviving to slowly thriving, even when life gets messy. It is the kind of care that does not magically make the hard stuff disappear but makes challenges and burdens feel easier to bear.

So, if SHIFT Support is so important, why don’t we ask for it? And why don’t more people offer it?

Because we have been taught not to ask for it.

We were handed stories—passed down through generations—that told us to stay silent, sacrifice, and handle everything on our own.

We have internalized fears that tell us we are not enough, not ready, or not worthy of help.

We have seen and live within systems that tell us we do not have access to resources or lack the agency to make requests.

But here is the good news: those stories can be rewritten. Just because those messages were passed down to us does not mean we have to be limited or imprisoned by them. Those outdated stories do not have to become our truth or an imposed mandate.

You CAN ASK FOR HELP! 

Yes, you do not have to shift alone. You do not have to shrink your needs to abide by society’s definition of “strong.” You can choose a different path and perspective. You can ask for what you need. You can learn to receive compassionate, caring support without feeling guilty, weak, or unworthy.

On the latest episode of the podcast Deciding to Soar: Living Life Your Own Way, I shared more about SHIFT Support, why transitions are emotionally taxing, and how you can be kinder to yourself when experiencing life transitions. Please listen, and I hope my words resonate with you. You can listen on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

And if you know in your heart that you need SHIFT Support right now, I have private, confidential session openings this summer and would be honored to work with you. 

Listen now on YouTube or Apple Podcasts and start receiving the support you deserve.

In the meantime, here are some affirmations to say out loud when you are struggling to ask for help.

🌿 3 Affirmations to Remind You That You Are Worthy of Help

  • I am not a burden. I am a blessing, and my healing deserves support.
  • Even when I’m not at my best, I desire and deserve care.
  • Asking for help doesn’t diminish my power; it deepens it.
  • Asking for help is not weakness; it’s wisdom wrapped in courage.

🔄 3 Affirmations to Challenge Inherited Beliefs

  • I release the need to suffer in silence to prove my strength.
  • I prefer assistance more than I want to endure agony.
  • My worth is not measured by how much I sacrifice or struggle.
  • I can honor my family’s past without repeating their pain.

💭 3 Affirmations to Confront Internal Fears

  • I am becoming, not breaking.
  • I am worthy of support and making requests for assistance.
  • I don’t need to have everything together to feel safe, supported, and seen.
  • My fear is loud, but my truth is louder, and my truth says I’m enough.

🏛️ 3 Affirmations: Asking for Help When Facing Institutional & Systemic Barriers

  • I am not weak for needing help. I am wise for refusing to struggle alone in systems that weren’t built for me.
  • I desire support not because I can’t navigate this system, but because I choose not to navigate complexity, injustice, and bureaucracy alone. 
  • Asking for help is how I reclaim my dignity in spaces and systems designed to deny it. 

Here are culturally rooted proverbs or adages that speak to the power and wisdom of asking for help, community, or interdependence:

✝️ Christian Adage

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

– Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NIV)

A reminder that partnership and mutual support are divinely ordained.

🌍 African Proverb (Akan, Ghana)

The one who climbs a good tree always gets a push.

Translation: When your mission is worthy, support will come only if you let others help.

🪶 Native American Proverb (Lakota)

  • When you are in pain, go to the elders. Their words are medicine.

This reflects the cultural value of seeking wisdom, guidance, and support from community and ancestors.

🖤Mexican Proverb

  • El que pide ayuda, no está solo.

Translation: The one who asks for help is not alone.

This affirms that vulnerability is a bridge to community, not a sign of weakness.

Remember, you are not unraveling; you are re-forming. You are not lost; you are being led. You are shifting, and your shifts are sacred AND they are shaping you into a newer, bolder version of yourself.

Blessings as you shift with ease.

With love and truth,

SharRon

 

* Lifequake is a term coined by Bruce Feiler.