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Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

What needs to change?

Although I ask myself this question regularly, there’s something about the end of the year that makes me dig a little deeper to ensure that I am really happy—not fake happy or “just settling happy”—but soul happy. I constantly gauge how I feel because I want to experience the soul-enriching, soul-nourishing happiness that gives me peace, keeps me whole, and honors my deepest desires. I want to be happy, happy for REAL, which often means making changes.

About 25 years ago, I found myself at a crossroads and knew I needed to make courageous changes in my life. I was extremely unhappy; I was navigating life practically heartbroken. Spiritually, professionally, and personally, I had co-created experiences that de-prioritized my health, agency, and wholeness. And, I knew I craved something different for my life, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my chronic dissatisfaction because, for years, I had made many disempowering choices. I denied my needs, and I failed to choose ME. And unfortunately, each fear-filled, denial-based choice moved me further away from my values, voice, and vision.

As my health declined, the more terrified I became about making more poor decisions that could further disrupt my life.  I wasn’t scared about stretching beyond my comfort zone, but I was afraid of making choices that would affect my aging parents, distract me from fulfilling my divine purpose, or further jeopardize my health. But no matter how hard I prayed for direction,  I couldn’t hear God or access my own wisdom. Fear had compromised my faith and muted the whispers of my soul.  I felt lost.

To gain clarity, I developed the CLEAR Framework,  a tool to help me identify my deepest needs, wishes, and goals. I had no intention of creating a coaching tool; I only desired to create something that would help me hear my inner voice so I could follow my own path, even if it meant detouring from everything I had been taught and told to do.

The tool proved extremely helpful and eye-opening, so I wanted to share the CLEAR framework with you. So, if you feel stuck, unsure of your next step, or overwhelmed by a decision, use the CLEAR framework to clarify what changes are needed in your own life. Once you know your desires, you can navigate life with greater awareness and create more serenity, fulfillment, and joy.

C.L.E.A.R. ( Listen On YouTube or Apple Podcast)

C: Closure – Recognizing When Doors Are Closing

The C in CLEAR stands for closure. Feelings of closure are often complex, unconscious, and layered. In fact, your soul usually discerns the need for closure before your mind has words to express the quiet yearning for change.

For example, you may sense closure when you feel deep dissatisfaction with your relationships, a dwindling sense of belonging in your community, a disconnection with your faith, or a lack of passion for a job. These feelings of closure—internal calls for endings—are often a signal that you’ve outgrown your current environment and that it’s time for a change or a rebirth.

Take a moment to assess:

  • Are you feeling stagnant in your career or relationships? Why?
  • Do you sense that your ability to grow or to make an impact is diminishing? Why?
  • How do you feel confined by policies, people, and practices? Why?
  • What feels like it needs to end or be empty so you can be nourished or recharged with something new?
  • What do you yearn for in this season of your life?
  • What do you want to finish, or what feels completed?
  • What do you no longer wish to experience or participate in?
  • What needs to end so I won’t jeopardize my dignity, potential, or purpose?

Recognizing these signs of closure is not about failure; it’s about grace and growth. It’s about courageously permitting yourself to seek new spaces, relationships, and situations where you can flourish.

L: Letting Go – Releasing What No Longer Serves You

The L in CLEAR reminds us to examine what we are losing, what we have already lost, or what we need to let go of. The L requires us to reckon with the truth – our inner knowing – and honor what we feel inside our souls, know in our minds, and crave in our hearts.

For example, the L demands that we tell ourselves the truth if we feel we are losing confidence, passion, or self-esteem. It requires assessing if we are clinging to beliefs, identities, or narratives that no longer align with who we are or want to become.

Ask yourself:

  • What mindsets or habits are holding me back? How?
  • Is my current environment eroding my enthusiasm or self-worth? How?
  • Are people ignoring my new identity or boundaries? Why? How could I be encouraging their resistance to who I am now?
  • How is this situation honoring my integrity, destiny, or personhood?
  • What meaning am I assigning to “letting go,” and how does that interpretation support my efforts?

Letting go can be difficult, but it creates space for something new and better to enter your life.

E: Erasure – Reclaiming Your Authenticity

The E in CLEAR stands for erasure. Erasure is when we feel forced to suppress or abandon parts of ourselves to fit into specific spaces or to have access to certain groups. This could mean adapting to workplace cultures, relationships, or environments that demand assimilation at the expense of our authenticity. For some groups, it can mean code-switching, masking, or denouncing your identity in exchange for group membership.

Consider:

  • Where and how are you expected to have historical or cultural “amnesia” to participate or advance in specific spaces?
  • Are you erasing aspects of your identity to be accepted by your job or co-workers?
  • Do you feel you’re shrinking yourself to make others comfortable with your expertise, talents, success, or beliefs?
  • Are you abandoning your truth for traditions or organizational norms?
  • How are you compromising your integrity for inclusion?
  • Are you doubting, discounting, or dismantling yourself for fear of exclusion or retaliation?

Chronic erasure can erode your soul, undermine your sense of freedom,  and destroy your sense of self.  However, making changes to reclaim and celebrate your identity and honor your uniqueness ensures you stay healthy and whole.  And, when you reclaim who you are, you RISE! You make life-expanding, soul-nourishing, and dignity-affirming decisions to support your wholeness, wellness, and well-being.

A: Anger – Listening to What Frustrates You

The A in CLEAR stands for anger. Anger is often a sign that something we deeply value—our passions, purpose, or priorities—is being neglected. Chronic anger, which can manifest as frustration or resentment, could indicate that a situation or relationship no longer aligns with our values or goals. Even though you may want to ignore it, anger is a valuable emotion that informs us that we must change to align with our deepest values and needs.

Reflect on:

  • Where do I feel persistent anger, alienation, or irritation?
  • Why and where do I feel powerless or invisible?
  • How is anger showing up in my body?
  • Where am I constantly critiquing something, and why?
  • Is this anger signaling unmet needs or neglected priorities at home?
  • Is anger fueling me or fooling me? How does it affect my behavior?

Again….never ignore anger. Instead, use it to identify your truth and as a catalyst for change, guiding you toward environments that respect your personhood and nurture your passions.

R: Rest – Seeking Peace and Safety

Finally, the R in CLEAR stands for rest. Deep emotional, physical, and spiritual rest comes when we feel safe, valued, and settled. If confusion, chaos, or a lack of safety pervades your environment, you won’t rest. You will also feel constantly exhausted if you have to continually act, compromise, or over-give in exchange for access or acceptance.   So, determine if you feel rested or at ease. If not, a change might be needed.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel peace and rest in my current situation?
  • Where do I feel taxed, troubled, twisted, and constantly tested?
  • Is this a place or a relationship where I can thrive without sacrificing my well-being and wholeness?
  • Do I feel drained at certain places, events, or groups?
  • Do I have to be high alert at work or watch my back when engaging with certain people?
  • Do I have to hide my intentions, conceal my motives, or minimize my goals with certain groups?
  • Is this situation affecting my ability to sleep?

You deserve environments and relationships where you can recharge and feel at ease. Remember, rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for a fulfilling life.

Get CLEAR! (listen here)

Before you make another decision, get clear. And use the CLEAR framework because it isn’t just a guide for major life decisions—it’s a way to honor yourself and your needs. (listen here on YouTube)

So, before the new year:

  1. Take a moment to reflect on your current situation (work, relationships, faith, projects).
  2. Use each CLEAR principle as a lens to evaluate where you are and what changes might be needed.
  3. Create a plan to address areas where you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or diminished.
  4. Find people who can support you on your journey and remind you of your brilliance.

Remember, change isn’t about abandoning what’s familiar; it’s about stepping into what’s more fulfilling.

I also look forward to sharing more about CLEAR on Jan. 18th in the NOW What Retreat. Be on the lookout for registration information.

Thanks for reading and listening to the Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast.

Also, please reply to this message and let me know your thoughts.

Blessings!

SharRon

* I have been asked how you can support my work. I would love to work with you. However, I also love coffee and tea.  Click here.

 

 

When An Election Hurts Your Heart

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on When An Election Hurts Your Heart

The recent election and the entire electoral process were extremely painful for many people. Not only did the results fill some with dread, but the outcomes also instilled fear and a genuine concern about the state of our democracy.  Many people, especially people who have been historically marginalized, told me that the outcome of the presidential election was incredibly unsettling, and they feared for their safety, their livelihoods, and their freedom to exist in a world that demonizes their very presence.  It was and continues to be a scary time.

The election and the mean-spirited campaigns were gut-wrenching for me, too. I felt disgusted, enraged, and appalled at the tactics used to manipulate, malign, and exploit people. I was even more saddened that some people believed the divisive rhetoric and harmful lies without validation, research, or corroboration. If information was shared on social media, it was believed to be accurate. If a politician shared “facts,”  it was accepted that the “facts” were verified. If a clergyperson shared a religious perspective, some people believe it was a message directly from God.

Witnessing the entire process was so maddening that I had to take a break – a time out from the foolishness. And so, for weeks,  I avoided the media to protect my spirit and soul from the vicious mud-slinging, myth-making, victim-blaming, name-calling, and dog-whistling that spewed a level of vitriol that I believe have irrevocably fractured relationships and alliances.  I also temporarily disconnected from frazzled and angry friends in order to find space in my heart for optimism, hope, and faith.  I didn’t want to abandon anyone because I cared deeply about their feelings. But I knew I had to stabilize myself because the stakes were too high to surrender to fear, hopelessness, and feelings of defeat. I also knew I needed to stay anchored in my spiritual beliefs in order to protect myself from the constant anxiety that was threatening to swallow me whole. Despite the social upheaval and the toxic political climate, I had to remain open, creative, and courageous. As a single, middle-aged Black woman, I didn’t have the luxury of feeling disempowered, worried, or apathetic.  Like many of you, I had to muster up the strength to make life-affirming, soul-nourishing decisions that honored my soul, instilled hope, and fostered healing. And my decisions had to be strategic because many self-appointed powerbrokers and gatekeepers were no longer trying to hide their disdain for specific communities and identities. It felt as if the election results emboldened them to be MORE offensive, oppressive, and cruel.

Shifting my perspective to see the power of possibility amid so much malice and disrespect wasn’t easy. However, in these trying moments, I reflected on the invaluable wisdom I learned from my elders and ancestors to inspire and direct me. I recalled the lessons they taught me that anchored them through the horrors of enslavement, segregation, Jim Crow, redlining, police brutality, political abuse, and social erasure.  I remembered the strength of their deep faith and resolve that equipped and empowered them to build schools, businesses, hospitals, churches, families, and legacies with limited resources and little protection. I remembered them telling me that my ancestors’ wisdom was stored in my bones, cultivated through my experiences, and strengthened through adversity. I remembered. Thank God, I remembered!

The knowledge and timeless insights I learned from my elders decades ago reminded me that no election, challenge, or person can undermine the calling on our lives. Their words of wisdom also reaffirmed that no politician or policy can undermine God’s plan for humanity if enough God-inspired, justice-minded, faith-filled people work together to effect change.

I pray these lessons inspire you as they encouraged me. I hope they remind you that you can SOAR higher than any policy, law, or tradition that tries to block, dismantle, or dishonor you. And most of all, I hope you are so inspired that you continue to inspire others to live beyond the suffocating status quo and stretch beyond social limitations so they can live fully, truthfully and peacefully.

Here are the lessons I shared on the podcast Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.  You can listen on YouTube or Apple and read below.

Elder: If It Didn’t Stop Us, It Won’t Stop You

History is filled with stories of resilience. Our ancestors faced insurmountable challenges—enslavement, displacement, wars, and systemic oppression. Yet, they pressed forward through every storm, building families, schools,  cultures, and legacies. They survived with unwavering determination, proving that obstacles, no matter how towering, are not permanent barriers but mere stepping stones to a greater destiny. When the world tried to silence their voices, they sang louder. When the world tried to erase them, they let their lights shine brighter.  When opportunities seemed scarce, they created something from nothing. Their endurance is a testament to the power of persistence.

Today, that same resilience flows through you and me. Our challenges may differ, but the weight of oppression is not unfamiliar to our spirits.  So,  confront setbacks, and remember the courage of those who came before you. Our elders thrived under laws and policies designed to break them, yet they soared. Their story is our inheritance. Their strength is our foundation. Their legacy is our leverage. Whatever you’re up against, know that it didn’t stop your ancestors and won’t stop you.

Elder: The Path for You May Be Hidden in Plain Sight

Sometimes, the answers we seek are right in front of us, yet we miss them because doubt, distraction, or societal expectations blind us. But because what we seek is also seeking us, we must slow down and pay attention to what’s happening around us and within us. We must pay close attention to the whispers of our intuition, the wisdom of our bodies, and the nudges of our curiosity. Even if what we feel or sense is not traditional or familiar, we must move in the direction of our spirit to discover and claim our paths.

My elders also reminded me that the clarity you long for isn’t always about discovering something entirely new; sometimes, it’s about recognizing what’s already within your reach and activating wisdom you already know. They always advised me to lean into my gifts, passions, or experiences that others overlook, minimize, or criticize. They told me that spiritual messages are sometimes disguised as”mess” and that I MUST maintain an open heart, spirit, and mind to SEE and SENSE God.

My friend, look! Look beyond what you see with your eyes and see with your heart. Let your spiritual vision grab God’s vision. Your path is right before you; it’s been there for days or decades.

Elder: Pick Your Own Tools to Sow the Land

Just as farmers choose tools suited to their soil, you must decide what tools work best for your unique journey. Why? God made you special, so a one-size-fits-all approach won’t help you achieve your goals or fulfill your destiny.  Remember, what works for someone else may not fit your vision, purpose, personality, or skill set, but that’s okay. What’s important is to be intentional about the tools you gather—whether it’s education, mentorship, prayer, or imagination—and use them creatively, courageously, and consistently to sow the seeds of your future.

Most of all, resist the pressure to conform to societal norms, cultural expectations, or artificial timelines. Your path is divinely distinct, as are the instruments, strategies, and timing you need to bring it to fruition.  So, determine what feels authentic, what aligns with your values, and what empowers you to thrive. Just as our ancestors innovated with what they had, you, too, can make memories and start cultural movements with your chosen tools.

Elder: Protect Your Dream Space Because It Holds Your Destiny

Your dreams are sacred. They are not merely aspirations; they are vital glimpses of your destiny, instructions for your future, and plans for your purpose. Yet, the world tries to infect your mind and undermine your ability to hold onto your dreams. That’s why creating a mental and emotional sanctuary for your dreams is crucial, particularly in a world that often prioritizes indoctrination over critical thinking, respectful discussion, and genuine inquiry. By nurturing this sanctuary, you empower yourself to challenge the status quo and cultivate the life you truly desire.

So, be mindful of what you allow into your dream space. Surround yourself with people who believe in your vision, believe in you, and challenge you to grow. Say no to influences that plant seeds of doubt, mediocrity, or fear in your heart and mind. Remember that your dreams preview what’s possible in your life, so guard them because they are the bridge to your destiny.

Elder: Who You Are Is Your Strength, Especially in Adversity

During political struggle, it can be tempting to compromise your integrity or conceal your true identity. And even though suppressing who you are or going with the flow may make your life feel initially easier, erasing your identity strips you of your superpowers and self-respect.  Abandoning your unique perspective, skills, and resilience leaves you without the internal infrastructure YOU NEED to withstand adversity and attacks.

So, lean into your identity, especially when life feels uncertain. Your heritage, values, and personal journey are not just part of your story—they are the source of your strength and the foundation of your faith. Both will sustain you in the most trying moments and ensure you are anchored in the God above you and connected to the God within you.

Elder: There Is a Difference Between Salt and Salve

In life, you will encounter people and experiences that either act as salt or as a salve. Salt, while valuable, can sting when placed on wounds because it exposes truths, provokes discomfort, or highlights what needs healing. On the other hand, salve soothes, nurtures, and aids recovery. Both have an essential purpose in your life, and knowing when to apply each is crucial to your growth, wholeness, and well-being.

So, be discerning in how you engage with yourself and others. Tough love (the salt) is sometimes necessary to confront hard truths, but it must be balanced with compassion (the salve) to foster healing and facilitate progress. Similarly, surround yourself with people who can be both—those who challenge you to improve while supporting your journey with care and encouragement. Life demands salt and salve during times of change, and wisdom lies in knowing how to use them to elevate and not harm.

 

My friend, I hope these lessons helped you because your journey and mine—our journey—will be challenging. The next four years will stretch and challenge our nation in unprecedented ways. But just like the ancestors before us, we possess the strength to persevere, the wisdom to find our hidden path, and the courage to choose tools that align with our purpose.  Like them, we can fiercely protect our dreams and our ability to dream. Like them, we can courageously lean into our authenticity and discern the moments that call for salt or salve. Just like them….we can make it.

Over the next four years, I believe that our lives will be a testament to the power of resilience and the audacity of hope. And as our valiant story unfolds with chapters that will inspire others, we will dare to soar higher! We will be the change we need and the change we seek. We will be the visionaries, bridge-builders, wisdom-seekers, truth-tellers, and leaders who speak for the voiceless, inspire the hopeless, and renew the spiritless. We will share wisdom with others just like our ancestors and elders shared with us, and we will thrive!

We will SOAR HIGHER individually and collectively … I believe….because the best is yet to come!

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Are Ghosts Holding You Back?

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Are Ghosts Holding You Back?

This election season has me thinking a lot about ghosts—not the ghosts we see in movies or cartoons, but the types of ghosts that interfere with our ability to live honest, peaceful, and soul-nourishing lives.

So, today, I want to talk about the invisible ghosts from your past –  experiences, beliefs, doubts, fears, trauma, obligations, conditioning, memories, assumptions, unspoken narratives, etc. –  that influence and shape your life.

Why?

We can ONLY live creatively, openly, and authentically if we can determine what is helping us, haunting us, or hindering us in our quest to be emotionally mature, productive, contributing members of society. Without introspection and insight, we don’t thrive individually or collectively. We don’t repair relationships, reckon with our beliefs, or restore peace.

I share more about the ghosts in a new episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Way. You can listen to it on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

Let’s review. 

1. The Ghost of the Ground

The Ghost of the Ground is the ghost that anchors you to the proverbial floor or convinces you to settle for something beneath your ability. It’s the ghost that magnifies every mistake and miscalculation and nullifies and minimizes your victories, severely undermining your confidence. For example, if you try something new and don’t achieve the desired outcome (fall down), the Ghost of the Ground will discourage you from trying again. It will constantly convince you that you don’t have the ability, talent, expertise, or resources to achieve your desired goals or make life-expanding decisions. And when you try again, it will find quick ways to sabotage your efforts and dash your hopes.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Ground is hard to detect, especially when you elevate logic and data over your intuition and faith.  So, pay attention to how you move in your world. Focus and be intentional about your goals. Get wisdom and feedback from people who want you to win! Why? The Ghost of the Ground is a sneaky ghost that tries to dismantle your resolve and tenacity; it will find underhanded ways to discourage you.

Truth: There is no such thing as failure. Always remember that if you DON’T get the outcome you want, you will always get the lesson you need. And… getting the lesson that you need means trying again WITH experience, insight, and acquired wisdom.

Wisdom: The enemy plants doubt seeds in places God wants us to grow the most – LaTonya Benson.

Action:

  • Consider how you view “failure.” Do you define failure as a stepping stone or a tombstone?
  • Determine if you are not starting your business, getting married, getting divorced, moving to a new city, going back to school, or starting your non-profit because you are scared of failing. Be honest with yourself so you can create an actionable plan.
  • Identify where you are vulnerable and determine why.
  • Remember: Failure is an experience or event, but it is NEVER your identity. So don’t let the Ghost of the Ground prevent you from getting up and starting over again, again and again. You can restart as many times as needed because success and self-discovery are processes of starts and stops.
  •  Identify where you “fell down” and hire support so you won’t fall in the same spot again.

2. The Ghost of Glory

The Ghost of Glory thrives on external validation. It yearns for applause, accolades, and affirmation from the crowd and will have you hustling to be seen,  heard, and known.

Since it fears being insignificant, it causes you to compromise your own fulfillment, health, and wellness to achieve or maintain a cultural definition of success. And you already know that achieving goals that are not your own leaves you feeling resentful, empty, lost, and frustrated.

Action: 

  • Identify what you want and why you want it.
  • Measure success by your own standards.
  • Identify why you crave applause and admiration from others and address it.
  • Identify the price you pay for staying in a position or holding on to a belief that no longer supports you.
  • Make a vision for every aspect of your life and ensure it is broad enough to accommodate growth, peace, and joy.

Wisdom: Never choose applause over authenticity. Authenticity provides courage, clarity, and self-trust to live on your own terms.

3. The Ghost of Greed

The Ghost Of Greed always craves more. And let’s be honest: the Ghost of Greed is pervasive in our culture. From social media to political perspectives, we are encouraged to grab more—more wealth, more power, more land, more sex, and more control. MORE! MORE! MORE! And we are not only encouraged to grab MORE, but we are also encouraged to grab MORE FOR ME and MINE….as if everyone else’ needs and inalienable rights are irrelevant.

Instead of satisfaction and sufficiency, this ghost thrives on the perception of scarcity and the lust for dominance. And no matter how much you achieve, it will compel you to accumulate, grab, steal, manipulate, lie, exploit, justify, or coerce to acquire, hoard, or seize MORE….even at the expense of others.

Most alarming is that the Ghost of Greed doesn’t honor boundaries or ethics; it has no moral compass or social conscience. It wants what it wants, even if it violates the law, robs a person of dignity, or destroys communities.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of Greed also has an insatiable political appetite. Just look around the globe. There are many examples of how the Ghost of Greed threatens the quality of our lives, robs developing countries of their natural resources, and threatens global alliances. This ghost loves to dominate, disenfranchise, and destroy. It promotes personal avarice over communal advancement.

Action: 

  • Determine what’s enough and why it’s enough.
  • Determine what’s driving your desire for MORE.
  •  Shift from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance by listing what you genuinely need to be happy and fulfilled.
  •  Identify what you were taught about money, power, and control. And then determine how those childhood lessons serve who you are today.
  • Explore your relationship between external accumulation and inner alignment.
  • Identify your values and explore how your values align with peace and justice.
  • Examine how your country and communities treat other countries and communities. Identify what drives the treatment or mistreatment.
  • Evaluate if MORE of something is adding or subtracting from your life and the lives of others.

4. The Ghost of the Group

The Ghost of the Group pressures you to conform, to fit in, and to follow societal expectations—even if it means abandoning your individuality and truth. This ghost can be emotionally harmful because it demands self-editing, self-erasure, self-abandonment, and self-denial. It uses the fear of exclusion, judgment, and rejection as tools to control what you say, do, and believe.

Unfortunately, the Ghost of the Group is extremely deceptive and calculating. It will make you accommodate, tolerate, and protect injustice, oppression, and abuse for group membership. It will also make you act and vote against your best interests in exchange for group acceptance—acceptance that is frequently empty, conditional, and manipulative at best.

Action: 

  • Understand who you are and embrace your uniqueness.
  • Determine your own path. Cultivate the inner strength to follow your own conscience and not the crowd.
  • Challenge outdated cultural scripts or gender paradigms to create space for you to be who you are.
  •  Find strength and joy in your individuality and be willing to stand apart from the crowd.
  • Surround yourself with people who don’t expect you to “lie to live”  or slowly die in exchange for a temporary connection and conditional access.
  • Hire a coach, get a mentor, or enlist a healer because leaving controlling groups can be complex without support.

5. The Ghost of Gossip

The Ghost of Gossip is tricky because it amplifies your anxieties about being talked about. It exploits your fears of public attack and criticism, leading you to undermine your own efforts, conceal your truth, and abandon your dreams. Since it convinces you to focus on the judgment of others MORE than the whispers from your soul, it makes you a prisoner of public opinion.

Here is some truth: You can’t control lies, hearsay, or rumors. People will always make comments about things they don’t know, things they can’t have, or things they don’t understand. And if people are jealous of you or threatened by you, they will constantly create lies to ruin your reputation or undermine your effectiveness.

Remember, gossip feels personal. But it’s pathological because it exposes the hearts, motives, and minds of unhealed, toxic, and vindictive people.

So, move with power, conviction, and authority, knowing that the people who talk negatively about you are the same people who rarely do anything in their own lives that is unique, newsworthy, or note-worthy.

ELDER WISDOM: A lie doesn’t care who tells it. It just wants to be told.

Action: 

  • Know who you are and have a strong sense of self-worth.
  • Let your authenticity and accomplishments speak for themselves. You don’t need to campaign for acceptance!
  • Don’t waste your energy and time convincing people that the lies are untrue. People will believe what they want to believe.
  • Don’t fear rumors. You can’t do anything to stop them, so live your values, trusting that the people you want in your life will see beyond the lies and deceit.
  • Don’t share your secrets with unhealed or jealous people. Both types of people can’t be trusted with their own lives, and they can’t be trusted with sensitive aspects of your life, either.

Ghosts! Click here to listen to the podcast.

Confronting your ghosts isn’t easy. But as you learn to identify and challenge each ghost, you will experience greater freedom and joy….. to BE who you were born to be….and will STOP settling for what the ghosts are convincing you to be.

I look forward to exploring the ghosts in greater detail in my upcoming workshop called NOW WHAT!  It’s happening in December, so be on the lookout for additional information.

In the meantime, please email me and tell me what ghosts most resonate with you and what you do to confront them.

Also, please share this message with someone who is dealing with ghosts. It may be just what they need to make more soul-nourishing, courageous decisions.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

How To Deal With Haters In Your Home!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog, Uncategorized. No Comments on How To Deal With Haters In Your Home!

People who throw stones at you are simply in love with where you’re going. – Dr. Maya Angelou

Does this quote from the late Dr. Maya Angelou resonate with you?

When I first saw the quote, it made me think of a hater—someone who criticizes or tries to undermine one’s dreams, beliefs, reputation, or goals.

The quote resonated so much that I created a workshop entitled “How to Deal With Haters in Your Home.” 

In the workshop, I defined “homes” broadly because we navigate and spend time in many types of homes. For example, we spend time and energy in our work homes, exercise homes, worship homes, political homes, educational homes, or other organizational homes.

But, wherever we spend our time, we will inevitably encounter people who will try to make our lives miserable. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the truth.

As I shared with the audience, SOARING HIGHER means rethinking how we view haters.

Why?

Throughout my life, my haters have been extremely instrumental in my growth and development. In some ways, they have been my refiners, motivators, and catalysts; they have been blessings in disguise!

The workshop was such a success that I shared some insights from the workshop in this week’s episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way. 

INSIGHTS

When your haters behave badly, remember that ….

1. You Are NOT Under Attack; You Are Under Construction.

Haters can highlight areas you need to improve, develop, or fortify.  If you don’t have knee-jerk reactions to their insults, backstabbing, and “roadblocking,” haters can help you activate your innate talents, access your own wisdom, and build coalitions to help you achieve your goals. Haters can also apply just enough pressure to make you more decisive so that you move more urgently, consistently, and courageously.

The truth is, I have been incredibly hurt and betrayed by haters. But even when their tactics felt threatening or career-killing, I realized that all things—even those that make me cry and angry… were working together for my highest good. As my elders used to say, “What people thought would destroy me, really developed me.” And that’s why I know haters have always been a part of my refinement, creativity, and ascension process.

2. Haters Will Get On Your Nerves, But They Will Also Keep You On Your Knees. (praying)

Let’s be honest; haters can intimidate, irritate, and infuriate you, especially when they stoop to low levels to hurt you. However, haters can also help you be more discerning, which allows you to see and sense motives, sabotage, or other covert behavior.

When I think about my life, my haters have sensitized me to my own inner knowing, leading to many life-enhancing decisions. When their antics forced me to my knees (pray or spiritual practice), it made me more open to hearing God, refining my vision, clarifying my purpose, and strengthening my resolve to accomplish my goals. Through prayer, I was able to unleash my imagination to see new possibilities, create innovative solutions, and challenge old paradigms.

I know this for sure: Most haters forget that success—however you define it—is spiritual. And….. spirituality encourages all of us to connect with our own power, trust our intuition, and look to our Higher Power for direction and protection.

3. Haters Will Enlist Saboteurs, But Their Antics Will Reveal Your Real Supporters.

Believe it or not, mean-spirited haters will often help you attract new supporters. When people try to tear you down, sincere, principled, and open-minded people will come to your defense. People who understand who you are, what you are trying to accomplish, and what you are going through will become your strongest allies and provide additional resources, opportunities, and backing. They will partner with you and root for your rise.

When I think about my life, my haters have escorted me to tremendous success and more visibility. Even though their gossip campaigns, smear tactics, and other sabotaging strategies were designed to destroy me, their mean-spirited antics have ushered me into new communities and partnerships that have warmed my heart and expanded my reach. So, instead of feeling betrayed and belittled, I have been blessed and bolstered in ways that have elevated my mission, restored my faith, and strengthened my heart.

My ancestors said it best: Messy and mean folks are good magnets for good messengers and positive missions.

Family, it’s true. Haters can be manipulative, pathological, polarizing, tricky, unethical, stubborn, biased, and reckless.

Yet, your haters can result in your biggest hallelujah.

So, remember, you are a force to be reckoned with.

You are a person with goals, dreams, and a divine calling.

You are the captain of your own destiny.

Believe in yourself, and don’t let anyone dim your lights or make you doubt your destiny.

Let your haters be your motivators because the best – YOUR BEST – is yet to come.

Blessings to you,

SharRon

***If you know someone dealing with a hater, will you share this message with them?

Feeling Inspired? Let’s Connect on social media.

Share your #haterstransformation on IG.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more uplifting content!

Learn more about the upcoming workshop, Now What!

Why Not Take Your Own Advice?

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Great News!

I finally took my own advice and transitioned my private community podcast to a public platform.

It took me a few years longer than I expected—because …well, I thought a public podcast had to be perfect.

But….I had to accept that my public podcast would not be perfect. First, because I don’t believe in perfection. Perfection is an illusion and an impediment to progress.

Second, I didn’t want to be bothered by all the bells and whistles of a professionally produced podcast. For example, I didn’t want to be responsible for editing, finding music, arranging interviews, etc. I didn’t want to do any of that. Yet, I deeply desired to share with a broader audience.

Thanks to some truth-telling and courageous soul-searching, I realized that my delay in entering the public podcasting world was due to my fear of being judged.

I probably should have realized that sooner, but I didn’t. And when I reflected more on my delay, I realized that keeping my podcast “private” for so long was an attempt to protect myself from criticism.

Why?

I didn’t want to be vulnerable to any more public critique. As a minister, leader, speaker, and author, I am constantly critiqued, sometimes very harshly, and I wanted to feel safe.

But I  realized that delaying my desires wasn’t keeping me safe. In fact, postponing the transition to a public forum made me feel like I was settling and shrinking, which of course, didn’t make me feel proud of myself.

Family, none of these feelings are easy to admit, but they are true.  No matter your success, no one is immune to first-time jitters. Even people who have accomplished a lot encounter fear, doubt, and anxiety about new projects.

That’s why I want to encourage you to think about your life.

I want you to identify if and how self-doubt or fear is causing you to dim your light, delay opportunities, or stay in unhealthy relationships.

I want YOU to ask yourself: 

  • Am I letting the fear of judgment deter me from honoring my goals or living my values?
  • Why does somebody else’s opinion of my work matter more than my OWN desire to offer something to the world?
  • Am I letting the status quo make me a prisoner of public opinion?
  •  Am I conforming to something I don’t even believe in or trust?
  • Will I regret not trying to pursue this opportunity?
  • What will I lose if I do or say nothing?
  • What will I gain if I try a different option?
  • How can a different environment or approach support my dreams and wholeness?
  • How does staying in my present state support my growth and development?
  • What would joy, kindness, or integrity do?
  • What do I really lose when I lose people who don’t believe in me?

Hard questions, right?

Here’s the truth:

  • You don’t have to be perfect to start something new.
  • People will always judge and critique you when you do something you want to do.
  • Delaying your dreams breeds frustration and sadness.

MORE TRUTH:

  • There will always be people who will downplay your creativity or question your decisions when you follow your heart’s desires.
  • There will always be people on the sidelines, on the couch, not living their dreams or not living their truth, who want to give you guidance and advice.  Unfortunately, their advice and opinions are usually based on ignorance, indecision, or inaction. 
  • There will always be people who will try to scare you away from doing what you want to do because they have failed or because they lack the courage to embark on their own unique path.
  • There will always be people who will belittle you vs build themselves.

That’s why you must ALWAYS search your own heart and make decisions that honor you, support your values, and align with your dreams.

My friend, you can do what you feel called to do. YOU CAN!

You don’t need to be perfect or have everything figured out. You can create, contribute, and serve imperfectly and do it YOUR way!

And even if it’s messy at first, trust that you will learn and gain the experience you need to improve in the future.

So, I hope you enjoy my imperfect public podcast, Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way. 

I also hope my testimony encourages you to do something you genuinely want to do in your life.  And if criticism comes, and I am sure it will, I pray that the joy of following your heart will inspire you to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

Blessings!

SharRon

P.S. If you want to subscribe to my newsletter, please click here.

Create A Life That Honors Your Soul!

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What would you do if you lived outside of the expectations and imaginations of others?

What would you do if you stepped into your full humanity and stopped denying yourself pleasure, joy, and rest?

What could you create if you left or changed your career to align with your dreams and desire for more freedom?

You would be healthier, happier, and more whole!

Living healtheir, happier, and whole is exactly what DARING TO SOAR HIGHER is about!

It is about SOARING beyond and above the expectations, narratives, and systemic barriers that try to undermine your fulfillment!

SOARING HIGHER is about honoring your own journey, following your own inner wisdom, and prioritizing your needs.

SOARING HIGHER is moving past and through your pain, reclaiming your true identity, and restoring your peace.

DARING TO SOAR HIGHER is about walking, talking, and embodying your truth, agency, and freedom so you can experience MORE OF YOURSELF!

And honestly, isn’t that what we ALL want?

We ALL want to be more of ourselves to experience MORE fulfillment, inner peace, and self-love.

In a few weeks, a few courageous folks and I will embark on a journey together to SOAR HIGHER, and you are invited to join us.

I am holding a special virtual open house to share more about the soul-nourishing journey. If you want to learn more, DM me, and I will send you the information.

In the meantime, please check out Deciding To Soar: Living Your Own Way! I recently transitioned the podcast to a public podcast, and I am so excited to share exciting and inspirational episodes with you!

Blessings!

SharRon

Some People Can Only Give Judgement, Not Support

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I value confidentiality and never share who I work with, which may not be the best marketing decision, but it’s a choice I value.
Why?

There have been times in my life when I felt extremely lost and full of shame, and I needed sacred space-holders and secret-keepers who could help me navigate critical life decisions.

For example, in my early thirties, I made significant personal and professional blunders that destroyed my confidence and undermined my career.

During those difficult times, I craved a safe harbor because I needed a sanctuary that welcomed my full humanity—the good, the not-so-good, the complex, and the contradictory. I needed reassurance, community, and discerning counsel; I needed help.

And, I needed the right type of help because I didn’t need more judgment; I already gave myself large doses of that.

I needed a safe place, a spiritual respite where wisdom was shared, questions asked, exploration encouraged, and confidence restored.

But even though I searched for the right person to journey with me for months, it wasn’t easy finding a mentor/coach/therapist who understood the challenges of being a Black woman in corporate America. Finding someone who understood my lived reality and had the emotional agility to support someone like me was tricky.

Why?

I needed…

  • A person with the mindset of an entrepreneur who also appreciated the complexity of faith, the fluidity of sexuality, the emotional toll of being “the first or only,” and the importance of true liberation, as I defined it.
  • A holistic teacher who valued wholeness and didn’t use their “unlived” life or inexperience as the rubric to determine what authentic, courageous “living” meant for me.
  • An open-minded strategist who understood my unique struggles as a leader, entrepreneur, minister, and pioneer who was tired of living a compartmentalized life.
  • A spiritual healer who understood what it felt like to be applauded as a public success but intimately knew the excruciating pain of feeling like a private failure.
  • A mentor who had an open mind and could hold tension and tenderness with ease and efficacy.
  • A brave soul who understood what it meant to be a Black woman in a world steeped in misogyny and misogynoir.
  • An expert who understood trauma, oppression, and cultural conditioning.
  • A spiritual doula who could help give birth to my dreams and calling.

So, 25 years ago, I became the person I needed. I became the healer and coach for successful, multifaceted, multi-layered, and multi-hyphenated women. I became a safe place for folks to reassess their lives and to reclaim their deep desires  – without judgment or further marginalization.

Like you, I became what I hoped for, yearned for, and desperately craved—a friend for high-achieving, boundary-breaking, liberation-loving people who want “to stay near to themselves” and honor their own truth. (phrase by the author, Cole Arthur Riley)

If you crave a safe, sacred, confidential place filled with compassion, curiosity, and care, I would love to support you as you create a fresh path, discover a new identity, or challenge an old narrative.

What I know for sure: Life-changing decisions are more manageable when you have support that provides life-expanding insight, spirit-filled strategies, and time-tested wisdom.

Because when you are changing your life, you don’t need more judgment; no one does.

You just need a welcoming, loving place to help you reach your goals so you can live authentically and SOAR HIGHER!

Blessings!

SharRon

Opting Out Is Also A Courageous Option!

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Sometimes, after I facilitate workshops for corporate women, my heart breaks.

Why?

Some women are really struggling in corporate environments. And honestly,  I OVERstand because it is not always easy for me, either.

But here’s the truth….. sometimes you CAN’T listen to the advice of your friends, especially if they don’t have experience in corporate settings, don’t have to deal with workplace politics, or don’t know how to extend empathy.

Why?

Some people just don’t understand that corporate trauma is real.  Trying to exist and thrive in some corporate environments is extremely debilitating, spiritually exhausting, confidence-eroding, and disease-producing!

So, here’s a reminder for some of my corporate folks, especially women of color: Opting out of any unsafe situation is courageous!

You don’t need to continue anything or align with anything that jeopardizes your emotional, spiritual, or mental health.

You don’t have to carry the torch for all women!

You don’t have to endure disrespect to prove you “can do it” because your competence is undeniable.

You don’t have to be a punching bag to hold the doors open for other women or to help women get seats at the table.

You don’t have to sabotage or undermine other historically marginalized people to gain brownie points from people who really don’t like or respect you, either.

You don’t have to do any of that!

And not doing any of that does not mean you are not committed to your success and the success of other women.

It’s also does NOT mean that you are weak, selfish, or “hurting your race.”

You can be committed to gender parity, diversity, inclusion, and equity, AND care about yourself FIRST!

Honestly, YOU MUST honor yourself first!

And while you are “getting your entire self” together, find a loving community that can hear and support you without heaping more guilt, expectations, and cultural shame on your plate.

Remember,  YOU are not responsible for correcting systems and structures strategically designed to exclude and undermine you.

Your primary goal is to stay well and whole in an extremely sick system while you help to create something healthier and better for all humans.

Signed,

A Corporate Sister Who Knows & Cares

Do You Need To Sit?

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As a child, when there was a storm, my elders would say, “Go sit your narrow behind down somewhere. God is speaking.”

Now, when I look at all the political and historical storms in the world, I wonder if God is demanding that we sit, not be idle, but to sit down somewhere.

Maybe God is insisting that we sit and get incredibly still so we can hear the unique voice of our Creator, which guides and governs us.

Maybe God is forcing us into contemplation so we can see the error of our collective ways and the smallness of our love.

Maybe God is summoning us to something greater, fairer, bigger, and bolder that will support the common good.

Maybe God is showing us how our desire for domination and our denial of our corrupt systems are obliterating the world.

Maybe God is calling us to examine how society is disintegrating due to injustice, intolerance, and inaction.

Maybe God is empowering us to create strategies to dismantle oppression, confront greed, challenge exploitative capitalism, and resist all vestiges of white supremacy.

Maybe God is refueling our spirits to fight for freedom, live with integrity, and heal our ancestral wounds.

Maybe God is intervening and integrating ways to reboot, rebuild, and redistribute resources so nobody goes hungry, unhoused, or unhealed.

Maybe God is reminding us of our humanity and the humanity of others so folks can stop dropping bombs and shooting bullets at defenseless people.

Maybe God is warning us to value people over profit, power, privileges, and perks so we can remember the sacredness of human life.

Maybe God is prompting us to talk to each other and to stop talking about each other so we can see that we have more in common than we think.

Maybe God is reclaiming our attention so we can focus on solutions that instill hope, promote harmony, and facilitate healing.

During storms, my elders wisely advised me to sit. And so, I am following their advice because I realize my anger and grief about what is happening in the world are starting to consume me.

Witnessing continued genocide, horrific violence, intentional starvation, political pandering, the lack of adequate healthcare, and other global atrocities requires me to gather myself so I can determine how to participate in what I pray about and hope for.

Life has taught me that sacred sitting is a meditative posture that prepares people to be visionaries, freedom fighters, game-changers, and truthtellers. It equips them to challenge the world’s ethos, create more humane paradigms, and confront the stifling status quo.

So, I find myself sitting, thinking about my next move, determined to make a difference even if I don’t know how to help in ways that would bring transformative healing, spiritual awakening, and paths for sustainable reconciliation.

I’m sitting – thinking and praying – because I know we can do better.

We are not powerless!

We are movement-makers! We are relational innovators! We are the hands and feet of a just God!

What about you?

Blessings to you!

Don’t Reject Any Part Of YOU!

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I used to hide parts of me because I felt ashamed, guilty, inadequate, dirty, and awkward.

I hid my truth so much that I stopped living in integrity, alignment, and peace.

I hid my genius so much that I didn’t honor my talents, gifts, and expertise and failed to contribute fully to the world.

I hid my love so much that I failed to make myself present, accessible, and “satisfy-able” which made me feel isolated and alone.

I hid my brokenness so much that I left people confused, frustrated, and concerned about my path, needs, and values.

I hid my pain so much that I suffered in isolation and succumbed to depression and despair, never asking for help or support.

I hid so much and hid so well that I lost myself in relationships, organizations, and perspectives.

I HID!

But I blossomed when I accepted those cracked, flawed, fragile, differently-shaped, multi-colored, frayed, complex, and authentic parts of me.

I grew! I evolved! I healed.

What I didn’t realize then was that all of the pieces …all of them…were valuable pieces and elements of my life journey. They were me! And rejecting those undesired pieces of me did not make them any less mine. Remember, rejection of a thing does not erase or negate a thing!

The truth is that the pieces that I rejected left me ill-equipped, unbalanced, and afraid to live fully. They made me suffer and kept me stuck in relationships and situations that further eroded my self-esteem and undermined my power. But accepting those parts gave me the confidence, knowledge, and power to assume my rightful place in the world.

Here are some questions: what piece of YOU and your history are you rejecting? How is rejecting parts of your past supporting your development and elevation in the future? What are you afraid for others to know, and why?

Whatever you are rejecting, please know that you have the power and strength to bring those pieces of you back home where they belong. And then, you can use them differently and more compassionately in the next season of your life.

Let’s Dare To Soar Higher as we welcome our pieces back home so we can use them as lessons, leverage, and laughter as we SOAR!