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Tag: black female leaders

Only You Know What’s Best For You

So often, we believe we can only feel and think one way about a specific topic. We frequently feel bullied to choose between this or that, as if there are only two options to consider.

But life often exists in the grey; life is rarely black or white. There are few absolutes.

Yes, absolutes are non-negotiable; we must honor humanity, ensure dignity, and protect freedom.

However, most of life’s questions are full of nuances, complexities, and contradictions that challenge us to think deeply about our values. And those are the questions and decisions that don’t fit neatly into our cultural conditioning, religious doctrines, and social norms. The decisions that affect us the most are never this or that; they may be both or neither.

Bottom line: Don’t get bullied by binaries.

You can have multiple opinions, concerns, and feelings about one topic.

So, question everything and allow yourself to have mixed feelings about something until you know what is true for you.

Create space in your mind and expand the love in your heart to hold tension and dichotomies.

Most of all, trust and test your own inner knowledge because YOU and only you know what’s best for you.

So, this week, here are some journal prompts to help you get clear on your goals and needs.

Journal Prompts:

  • What feels suitable for me in this season of my life?
  • What nourishes my soul and stimulates my mind?
  • How does staying in an unfulfilling career or relationship affect me?
  • How does changing my routines help me rest, think, or heal?
  • Where do I need to think broadly about my life?
  • Why am I not advocating for myself at work or at home?
  • Who am I becoming, and why?
  • What could I do if I expanded my understanding of “truth?”
  • How would updating my definition of success create more capacity in my life?

Spend some time asking yourself these critical questions. And then, be sure to sign up for the free I Dare To Be Me Virtual Open House to get additional insight about creating a life that honors your deepest needs.

Don’t be bullied. You are too amazing to be shoved into a belief system that suppresses your soul.

Blessings!

SharRon

What Is Your Life Saying To You?

Have you ever wondered how you would look, live and love if you did most of what you promised yourself you would do?

During my weekly inventory, I think about my life. I examine my choices, thoughts, actions, and comments to assess if my life resembles and reflects the promises I made to myself and honors the commitments I made to others.

Sometimes I feel proud that my behavior aligns with my commitments. But sometimes, I realize that there are gaps, and the gaps are usually around how I treat myself and how I treat my “calling.” Sometimes I also realize that I am giving too much of myself to people and places not aligned with my destiny, jeopardizing my wholeness and health.

Over the last few months, I have realized that many leaders, visionaries, and change agents also feel their lives are not aligned with their deepest desires or their most urgent needs. Many have shared that they feel burdened by responsibilities or exhausted by politics, competing priorities, and challenging people.

Truth: Collective exhaustion and misalignment take a toll on our souls. It distracts people – people like you and me who deeply care about the world – from creating the change we want and need to see in our communities. Weariness also prevents us from honoring and caring for spirits, bodies, and loved ones.

So, this week, take a step back and review your life to ensure you are directing your energy and efforts to the right causes, values, and systems.

Inspect your relationships. Examine your career, your calling, or your life’s work. Analyze your progress, proficiency, and potential to determine if your behavior aligns with your soul’s desires and goals.

Then, look in the mirror. Glance over your body. Reflect on your heart. Connect with your soul. Survey the rooms in your house. Then honestly (without judgment), ask yourself: is my life lying to me about what I care about, or am I lying about my life?

My elders used to say that ” talking and telling ain’t the same thing.” Translation: What you say is one thing. What you do is something else.

So, today, ask yourself: What is my mouth saying that I am NOT doing? How can I get more in alignment with my truth? What unconscious thoughts or fears are getting in my way? How are my goals and actions aligned with my values? Where can I be more courageous in my decision-making and bridge-building?

When your life reflects the core of who you are, you will thrive! You will feel invigorated, empowered, and fulfilled. And when you are happy, aligned, and rested, you will create the changes you want to see in the world.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we speak and work for the collective good while honoring our deepest individual needs. That way, our mouths will talk, and our lives with honestly tell.

Blessings!

SharRon

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

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Acts Of Courage Come From HOPE

Happy March!

This month marks the beginning of Spring, which always signals a change in seasons, longer days, fun vacations, and exciting transformations. To me, all of those changes signal new HOPE!

And with HOPE comes a call to activate courage, because hope without courage changes nothing. But when hope is partnered with courage, lives change, policies change, businesses change, relationships change, and our paradigms change.

But just a word of caution — many people will not appreciate or welcome your acts of courage.

TRUTH: People who have done nothing significant or daring in their own lives will never understand what you are trying to do. And most of all, they won’t appreciate the cost of your courage.

 NEVER!

They will never understand your struggles, losses, stresses, or loneliness.

They will never appreciate your priorities, sacrifices, or your evolution.

They will never appreciate the risks you take or the rejection you endure.

So, as you enter a new month of unlimited possibilities and fresh revelations, guard your heart while you pursue your goals and dreams.

Prioritize your truth, desires, and vision.

Don’t feel the need to explain your decisions or justify your choices.

Don’t feel the need to announce your new path, perspective, or person.

Walk boldly and bravely into a higher dimension of destiny and fulfillment, knowing you are fully equipped to create and enjoy your dream life.

Blessings!

SharRon

Don’t Rush Into A Resolution

Even though nothing is magical about the first of the year, I know the first few weeks of 2023 will bring many transformations–thoughtful endings, a few abrupt exits, many renewed commitments, and some energizing fresh starts.

So, consider what will move you closer to your dreams and desires as you make resolutions or intentions.

I have provided a few prompts to help you.

  • How do I want to feel?
  • What will support me in this new season of my life?
  • How do I know what I want?
  • How do I change?
  • What could fill me up?
  • What could drain me?
  • How do I move from my current situation to what I deeply desire?
  • What step will be the least disruptive to my family?
  • How do I clarify why I am moving in a different direction?
  • What do I do with fear?
  • How do I know if I have the proper support for this big goal?
  • What if I don’t have a concrete plan to move forward?
  • How do I know if my contingency plan is solid enough?
  • How can I get better?
  • Who can mentor me?
  • What will help me grow?
  • What risks do I need to take?
  • How can I ensure I am not over-extended?
  • What boundaries do I need to create or reconsider?
  • How can I create more harmony in my life?

All these are significant questions and will help you discern what feels right to you for this specific season in your life.

REMINDER: You don’t need to rush into resolutions.

You only need to trust yourself to choose and to keep choosing what you need and desire to create the life and lifestyle you crave.

 

Go Home!

It is easy to lose your way in a world that tries to convince you to live outside of your own skin, to mistrust your own wisdom, and to deny your own purpose.

But what if you went home to yourself?

What if you courageously went back home to yourself, armed with deep-seated truth, soul-nourishing love, and a commitment to live beyond the narratives imposed on you?

What if you traveled back home to yourself, releasing the historical lies that were manufactured to spiritually and mentally imprison you?

What if you journeyed back home to your essence, knowing that your Creator was with you, in you, and ahead of you – leading the way?

What if you stepped back into your divine identity, unencumbered by traditions, unbothered by cultural norms, unashamed of your past, and unbossed by oppressive ideologies.

What if you anchored yourself in your own definitions, honored your own dreams, and believed in your own destiny?

What if?

What I know for sure is that going home to yourself is the place where you can bask in your own love, enjoy your deepest liberation, and shine your brightest light.

“Home” is the place and space where you DARE to believe, DARE to try, and DARE to SOAR despite anything you have been taught and told.

In 2023, go home and enjoy the power, brilliance, and beauty of YOU!

And, if you need support on your journey back home to yourself, it would be an honor to walk beside you holding up a mirror so you can see yourself through the lens of love.

Blessings!

SharRon

September Is the Month Of Completion

Happy September!

It’s the 9th month, and the number 9 symbolizes completion. For me, that’s exciting because it reminds me that I have fulfilled an important stage in my life and that I am ready for something new.

But even though embarking on something new sounds exciting, it can also feel daunting, especially when you are not accustomed to reflecting on your own needs, dreams, and mission.

So, how do you start something new?

First, by being honest with yourself about the quality of your life and discerning if its current structure serves your greatest good… YOUR truth.

Second, by accepting that your truth may have changed because you have grown from an experience, awakened to a new revelation, or healed from an old wound.

Third, by accepting that your new truth may be controversial, confrontational, and contradictory to the status quo. Yes, your new truth may ruffle a few feathers.

Finally, by accepting that your new truth requires new choices and actions because it’s challenging to make life-expanding moves with an old mindset.

So, if you are ready to embark on something new – something bigger, better, and bolder – consider these four critical pillars. And if you need any more motivation to launch out into something new, consider the following benefits:

Your truth will ensure that you stay well, stay whole, and feel worthy of everything you desire and deserve.

Your truth will safeguard you from succumbing to societal narratives, political lies, generational trauma, or gender norms that will stunt your growth or steal your joy.

Your truth will keep you aligned with your heart, help you stay attuned to your inner compass, and develop you toward the highest version of yourself.

Your truth will ensure that you don’t downplay your gifts or use your strengths in self-sabotaging ways.

Most of all, your truth will soften you so you feel safe, seen, and “surrendered” to your higher calling without constant compromise, unproductive comparison, and undue labor.

Essentially, your truth will anchor and prevent you from jeopardizing your dreams, which so many of us do when we prioritize the needs of others over our own.

As a coach and sojourner, I am exploring and considering some critical questions to help me discover and reclaim MORE of my truth. In this season of my life, I want to deeply connect with my TRUTH to expand my capacity to stay open to possibility, follow my inner compass, and welcome divine connections. Maybe these questions will support you if you are also in a season of self-discovery and self-activation.

DareTo Soar Higher Questions:

  • Where in my life am I pretending to be something I am not?
  • Where am I erasing or diluting myself to fit into spaces, and why?
  • What lights me up and lightens my load?
  • What tickles my fancy and makes me feel free?
  • What increases my belief in myself and in a greater power?
  • How can I become more sovereign and less swayed by the opinions, triggers, and expectations of others?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • Where do I need to give myself more permission to explore and execute?
  • Why do I conform and comply with practices or beliefs that don’t align with my divine path?
  • Where am I giving unappreciated labor and love, and why?
  • Where am I forfeiting my integrity, dignity, and mental health?

How do I know if I am being called to do something if I don’t have experience doing it?

Great questions, right?

I know that following your truth will activate you and help you contribute something magical to the world. And the best news is when you follow your truth, you will feel less burdened and obligated to make others happy, and that’s freedom.

So, do yourself a favor. Ask yourself questions, nurture your needs, own your power, pursue your ambition, speak with integrity, and rest your body.  Let your truth bring you the fulfillment you crave and the freedom you deeply desire. Because as all know, the TRUTH will set you free.

Blessings!

You Belong To You

I BELONG TO ME!

When I was a little girl, my elders always said, “Always keep the best of you for yourself.”

It took me years to understand what that adage meant. But over the years, I realized it meant holding on to your dreams, never compromising your integrity, being honest even when lying was easy, and taking care of my spirit. It meant doing everything that I was NOT doing, and my quality of life showed the toxic effects of self-abandonment.

After some soul searching, I realized I was giving the best of me away to be accepted. Of course, I was not consciously betraying myself. But every time I didn’t live my truth, reinforce my boundaries, make time for my dreams, or collude with oppressive narratives, I took a chunk out of my own soul. Sadly, I had to admit that I was indeed giving the best of myself to others, and I was exhausted and depressed.

​My friend, what if you are giving the best of yourself away? Your best years? Your prime time? Your dreams? Your vision? What if you are sacrificing your needs to fulfill societal expectations, family obligations, or meet unreasonable job demands?

The truth is, if you are giving yourself away, you can take your power back. You can make life-affirming, soul-nourishing choices that honor your humanity and dignity.

You Don’t have to believe what you have been told or taught!

You don’t need to live a life full of “shoulds,” “supposed to,” “can’t,” “they won’t let me,” “someday,” “they,” and “you better not.”  You don’t have to accept a life where you feel trapped, frustrated, and coerced to follow rules that don’t align with your heart.  You don’t have to deny and delay your dreams to please people and to win friends and favors.

You don’t have to live in fear. You don’t have to rescue everybody. You don’t have to swallow your dignity or collude with a patriarchal culture to survive.  YOU DON’T need to destroy YOU to be devoted to THEM!

You can push back because YOU BELONG to YOU!

When you accept your power, YOU and the entire world benefit from your contribution, wisdom, and love. That’s why I created a free 3-day private podcast to help you reclaim your agency and sanity.

You BELONG TO YOU!

Alice Walker: “People give up their power by thinking they don’t have any.”

You have power, and it’s time to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

Click here for the link.

You Are Worthy Of Support

To live in an unstable, unjust world, you must get and stay rooted in your own humanity.

Why? Because when you feel as if nothing is sacred or safe, it’s hard to feel anchored. It’s hard to stand up for your values and discern your truth so you can make thoughtful decisions that honor your greatest needs.

How do you get rooted?

Heal!

  • You start a messy, painful, non-linear process to unravel, unpack, and unlearn the old narratives, historical myths, and societal messages that undermine your power, self-love, and self-trust.
  • You find a sacred community of truth-tellers, wisdom-sharers, and purpose-seekers who know how to hold sacred space for your grief, your greatness, your growth, your giftedness, and your gallantry. ALL OF IT! It must be a community where you can share your feelings, shed old identities, and shatter old belief systems so you can grow.
  • You learn how to listen to your body and learn how your body communicates what it needs, so you can assess if you have the internal stamina and capacity to engage, or if you need to strategically withdraw from environments, circumstances, and relationships.
  • You learn how to name your feelings without labeling yourself, so you have the language to express, explore, and excavate your feelings and interrogate what your feelings mean.
  • You learn to rest by doing what restores your clarity, revives your soul, reinvigorates your body, and renews your spirit.
  • You commit to your own liberation by loving yourself without judgment and trusting yourself without delay. You don’t wait until…. you love and trust yourself NOW!
  • You harness the power of your personal story because you have lessons, experiences, and earned wisdom that will fortify you and help you navigate the currents of drama, chaos, and negativity.

Does this resonate with you?

If you desire a place that centers your brilliance, acknowledges your history, and appreciates the complexities of being a Brown and Black human or any other marginalized human in an oppressive world, I want to personally invite you to I Dare To Be Me!

In August, I am holding a special virtual open house to share more about the I Dare To Be Me experience. If you are interested, be sure to join the mailing list.

The truth: To deal with the changes and challenges in the world, you must HEAL and be rooted in your identity, humanity, and self-worth to rise even amid adversity, resistance, and cultural shifts.

And most of all, YOU are worthy of support. You don’t have to navigate the seas of change and transformation alone. There is a sacred community of truth-tellers, purpose-seekers, and bridge-builders waiting to support you.

Blessings!

SharRon