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Tag: I Dare To Be Me

Are You Just Being Needed or Being Valued?

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Are You Just Being Needed or Being Valued?

Many great causes and movements need YOU.

Why?

Our communities are in crisis. The world is full of worthy causes, urgent concerns, and endless calls for help. And if you are justice-minded, heart-led, and spiritually grounded, it is natural to want to show up. To help. To heal. To contribute.

And let me say this clearly: your compassion is a sacred gift. It is what makes you human, generous, empathetic, and communal. Also, the philosophy of mutual aid is rooted in our cultural DNA.

But over time, without discernment, your desire to help can become a habit that costs YOU more than it heals the world.

Why?

Your desire to help, whether driven by internal needs or external teachings, can lead you to over-function, exploit your need for validation, or manipulate you into giving something you don’t have. ( I will address this experience in another blog or podcast.)

So, let’s have an honest conversation because being needed is not the same as being valued.

  • Being needed means someone wants or expects your time, talent, or presence because it fills a gap or a role.
  • Being needed is about filling a function, supplying resources, and providing expertise.
  • Being needed is about always being on someone’s emergency response team or constantly being the go-to person.
  • Being needed means that people will continue to use you without acknowledging that they are using you up!

Being valued is different, and it feels different to the body and soul.

Being valued means someone honors your being, your boundaries, and your well-being.

Being valued means that someone honors our brilliance and appreciates our bandwidth.

Being valued means that people appreciate your expertise but never expect your exhaustion.

Being valued means that people recognize your expertise and experience, but never feel entitled to either.

Being valued means that people and organizations know the difference between constant rescue and communal reciprocity.

Let me say it another way for the people in the back. 🙂

When you’re needed, you are often called in times of crisis, praised for what you produce, and expected to give without rest. Sounds familiar?

When you’re valued, you are included in the planning process, appreciated for your wisdom, allowed to have input, and seen as essential, not expendable.

This is why so many brilliant, big-hearted people are burned out. They are celebrated for their service, but silently suffer, feel unsupported, or feel siphoned. They are applauded for being helpful while feeling hollowed out inside. And to add insult to injury, the more they give, the more people take, demand, and expect.

So, if you feel overused, overcommitted, and underappreciated, pause. Not because the work is not important, but because you are important, too. You are a valuable part of any equation and a tremendous asset to any cause.

Also, you were not created to live in chronic sacrifice or be constantly overwhelmed, even if the organization is doing meaningful, necessary work. You were also made for joy, rest, and soul-deep alignment.

Here’s a tool I use to check in with my spirit and body before saying yes to any request to serve, volunteer, or accept an assignment.

Pause. Process. Proceed. Walk in Peace.

Pause – If it is NOT a life and death situation, pause. Don’t rush into yes—still yourself. Slow down.
Process – Ask: Is this request or relationship aligned with my values and energy? Is this request a pattern or a partnership?
Proceed – Only if the exchange is rooted in dignity, not just duty. Remember, every choice has a cost and consequence.
Walk in Peace – Honor your decision without feeling guilty, knowing that your “no” can be just as holy as your “yes.”

Let’s normalize asking:
– Who honors me while asking for my help?
– Where do I feel seen, not just summoned?
– What opportunities allow me to contribute and stay connected to my humanity, dignity, and joy?
– What feels aligned with my path, purpose, destiny, or interest?

The world needs you – the whole you. The rested you. The respected you. The radiant you.

Here’s the question: What version of YOU are you giving to yourself, offering to the world, or volunteering to the cause? Are you operating from overflow or overwhelm?

I share more thoughts about feeling needed vs feeling valued in the newest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way. It’s available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and other podcast platforms. Please subscribe when you visit, leave a review, or send me an email to share your thoughts.

Also, if you have been struggling to say NO and discern where to share your time, I want to invite you to a workshop: Wholeness: Living Free in a Confining World — A Spiritual Strategy for Saying Yes to Yourself Without Shame. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk about issues and create solutions when you don’t feel alone. Join us and dare to serve in a way that sustains you.

I know this is a controversial perspective, and may seem hypocritical coming from me, a minister, but we have to talk about always BEING NEEDED. You deserve rest.

Blessings to you as you discern where and when to spend your precious time!

SharRon

 

Be the Gate, Not the Gutter!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Be the Gate, Not the Gutter!

I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you arrived through curiosity, community, or a soft whisper from your soul, I want to thank you for visiting my website. I know life moves fast, and time is sacred, so I honor your presence and pause.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting deeply on how we move through the world when everything around us feels uncertain or unclear. And while I’m not here to sound an alarm, I am here to say that we must understand the four essential roles we  MUST play in our lives, especially during challenging times.

These roles are essential spiritual muscles that help us show up in our truth, activate our agency, and center our souls. And in moments when everything is vying for your attention—media, politics, institutions, loved ones, fears, your needs – embracing these roles will change how you lead, love, and live.

Honestly, it took me almost 50 years to define and name the roles. Not because I lacked wisdom, but because it was difficult to discern what was needed in a culture that was constantly evolving to keep certain groups hustling, conforming, and abiding by the status quo.  But through the years— almost 4 decades of serving in corporate leadership, ministry, and entrepreneurship— I’ve discovered how these 4 roles can refine, protect, and shift how you live, lead, and love.

I refer to these roles as the Gate, the Glue, the Gap, and the Guardian. Let’s explore the roles together and identify the “MUST DO” behaviors that can fortify, empower, and stabilize you amid the uncertain winds of change.

As the Gate, you must activate your gift of discernment. You must realize that not everything or everyone deserves access to your life, your heart, your attention, or your energy. You must also recognize that boundaries are not about creating walls; they are about honoring and maintaining your worth, wealth, well-being, and worthiness. As a result, you must constantly evaluate what enters your life and to what degree so you can build and blossom without feeling burdened and burnt out.

As the Glue, you must be a soul-nourishing connector and cross-cultural collaborator.  You must learn how to bring people together with purpose, clarity, and empathy. However, being the Glue does not mean you succumb to martyrdom or mindlessly build bridges. No way! It means you should build bonds, promote mutuality, and create vital networks to support positive change. And through prayer and spiritual precision, not peer pressure, you can intentionally find ways to unify and mobilize people around causes that support the common good. (Don’t forget: GLUE is sticky, which means you must FIRST stick to your values, exemplify integrity, and demonstrate empathy to ensure you can build bridges based on truth, trust, and transparency.)

As the Gap, you must get comfortable stepping into what others fear: the unknown, the broken, the different, the uncertain, the inconvenient,  the unpopular, the uncommon,  and the invisible. You must bravely identify opportunities to rewrite rules, shape language, and dismantle barriers so all can thrive. Being the GAP also means reclaiming visionary practices of prayer, tapping into your intuition, and walking by faith. Doing so will keep you connected to God and ensure that you don’t limit yourself to your current circumstances, political realities, historical narratives, or personal suffering, so that you won’t get derailed amid adversity, attacks, and avarice.

As the Guardian, your priority must be protecting what matters most – your peace, values, health, imagination, time, purpose, and dreams. This means you must get comfortable saying “NO” to guilt, grandstanding, and gaslighting, which will provide the freedom you need to move without judgment, hesitation, or self-doubt.  Since you will be required to lead and take risks, you must lavish yourself and others with grace and peace, remembering that we are all on a journey, learning and unlearning as we go. You must also dedicate time and space for new revelations, so that fresh wisdom can freely take root in your bones and find refuge in my heart. Remember, during times of transition and political polarization, it is essential to protect your health, preserve your strength,  and cultivate liberatory practices that keep you receptive to God’s voice.

Each role is vital to your overall well-being. However, you must also declare and confront what you are not.

You must  NEVER be the Gutter. You cannot absorb dysfunction or allow toxicity in your life. You can’t accept or tolerate emotional, political, historical, doctrinal, religious, or workplace debris from those who won’t do their own healing or invest in their own growth. You can’t let the worst in others define the best in you or minimize your worth. Even if you must stand alone, you can’t let historical narratives or the loudest voices in the room drown out the truth that you know and the wisdom others need.  You can’t let bullies, boredom, and burnout steal your creativity, wonder, and joy. Most of all, you can’t let your mind or space become a dumping ground for dangerous outcomes, endless revenge, or immature decision-making. Even at your worst and when circumstances look bleak, you must remember to be the treasure, but NEVER the trash.

These lessons changed me, and I believe they will change you too. So, if you’re navigating a transition, reclaiming your identity, stepping into your next season, or just trying to process the chaos in the world, I invite you to listen to the episode. Why? This episode isn’t just a podcast; it’s a permission slip to live fully, freely, and faithfully.

Tune in now on Apple Podcast → Gate. Glue. Gap. Guardian. NEVER Gutter – Key Life Lessons in less than 10 Minutes.

Listen on YouTube → Be the Gate, Not the Gutter: Key Life Lessons That I Learned In 50 Years All in 10 Minutes.

As you reflect on the roles in your life, consider the following questions to help you evaluate how you can show up more powerfully as you continue your culture-shifting, purpose-informed work.

✨ Reflection Questions: Live It, Don’t Just Learn It

Be the GATE: What do you need to protect or filter?

  • What thoughts, people, or energies have I allowed into my life that I need to release or restrict?
  • What boundaries have I been afraid to enforce because I feared rejection or conflict?
  • How can I better guard my mind, time, and spirit from distractions and emotional drain?

Be the GLUE: How do you build connection and collaboration?

  • Where in my life or leadership can I help people come together with more compassion and clarity?
  • How am I modeling empathy over ego in difficult situations?
  • How can I support my community, team, or family without over-functioning or losing myself?

Be the GAP: Where are you uniquely called to stand in the in-between?

  • What problem, pattern, or possibility do I see that others may not?
  • Where am I being asked to be the bridge, not the builder of both sides, but the bold connector between them?
  • What fear must I release to step into the space where transformation can happen, and differences co-exist?

Be the GUARDIAN: What must you protect to stay whole?

  • What aspects of my peace, health, or joy am I currently sacrificing—and why?
  • What relationships, roles, or routines no longer honor my worth or well-being?
  • How can I start guarding my purpose with the same commitment I give to protecting others?

Avoid the GUTTER: What do you need to unlearn to stop absorbing toxicity?

  • Where am I participating in gossip, drama, or dysfunction under the guise of connection or loyalty?
  • What parts of myself do I betray just to belong, be liked, or avoid conflict?
  • How can I stop carrying what doesn’t belong to me— other people’s pain, projections, or poison?

Remember, these roles aren’t just concepts; they are roles to support your vision, well-being, and your calling. And I know that if you embody the roles, you will soar higher than you have ever soared before.

My friend, if you are interested in exploring these roles in greater detail, I invite you to join me on Saturday, July 19th, for a 90-minute live workshop, where we’ll delve deeper into the roles of the Gate, Glue, Gap, and Guardian.

Together, we’ll explore how to apply these roles courageously in your life, career, and calling, so you can lead with purpose, amplify your impact, and safeguard your well-being.

If this message resonated with you, please share this blog with someone who could use some encouragement. And please don’t forget to subscribe to the Deciding to Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast for more soulful strategies to help you live, lead, and love on your own terms.

Never forget: You were born for more. You were built to soar.

Thank you for taking the time to reflect and read with me. I appreciate you. (Subscribe to my newsletter)

Blessings to you!

SharRon

P.S. I want you to know that I am not ignoring what’s happening in the world. These are hard, heartbreaking, and often horrifying times. Like many of you, I’m still trying to process it all. But I remain committed to praying, protesting, donating, and sharing my time to support efforts that honor the common good. In the meantime, I’ll continue to write and share this blog, trusting that God continues to give me words that offer spiritual sustenance and wisdom in a time of collective grief, growth, and awakening.

When Help Isn’t Healing: What I Learned About Support During My Sacred Season

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on When Help Isn’t Healing: What I Learned About Support During My Sacred Season

Asking for help isn’t always easy. But learning to receive it—that’s an entirely different kind of courage.

How do I know?

Recently, I found myself navigating a difficult season physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was sick, and for the first time in a long time, I had to lean on others more than I wanted to. I had to ask, trust, be vulnerable, expose my frailties, and let people into parts of my life that I usually don’t talk about.

While some people showed up with tenderness, patience, and care, others showed up with conditions, expectations, and ego. It was humbling, and honestly, it was heartbreaking.

But it also taught me a lesson I’m still carrying today: Not all help is healing.

The Hard Truth About “Help” is… When you’re in a vulnerable place, every offer of support can feel like a lifeline.

But here’s what I’ve also learned:

  • Some people offer help to feel useful, not to actually be of use.
  • Some offer support with invisible strings attached.
  • And some want access to your pain, not because they care, but because it gives them a story to share with others or a sense of control.

I had to admit that support like that didn’t feel good. In fact, it felt manipulative. It didn’t create peace; it added more pressure. And in those moments when I needed care the most, I had to make some soul-honoring decisions to protect my dignity, not just my body.

I thought my experience was unique, but in a recent conversation, I learned others had also struggled with asking for and receiving help that felt nourishing, safe, and loving. We also identified some factors that helped requesting and receiving assistance feel safer,  more honoring, and extremely affirming.

We agree that help feels healing when there is….

  1. Specificity. Specificity is vital. Be specific about what you need. If you can, think it through or tell people you really don’t know what you need, and let them help support you based on their understanding.
  2. Capacity. Ask people who are emotionally, spiritually, or financially equipped to show up. Some people may not be, and that’s okay.
  3. Trust. Trust is sacred. If someone has violated your boundaries before, they may not be the safest option to support you again.
  4. Discernement. Discernment is protection. Just because someone can help doesn’t mean they should.
  5. Mutuality. Mutuality matters. If someone keeps score or expects emotional repayment, it’s not generosity, it’s leverage.

So, if you’re in a season where you need help, or if you’re unsure about the help being offered, consider these:

  • Does this support make me feel seen, safe, and stronger?
  • Do I trust this person to honor my vulnerability without judgment or gossip?
  • Am I accepting help out of fear, guilt, or obligation?
  • Do I have the freedom to ask for the kind of help I actually want?

Let me be clear: You are not ungrateful for wanting nourishing help.

You are not selfish for refusing support that drains your spirit.

And you are not broken because you’ve struggled to ask for help in the past.

You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to name your needs. You are allowed to receive help without surrendering your soul.

If this message resonates, I encourage you to check out my latest podcast episode, “When Help Isn’t Healing,” where I unpack this conversation more deeply. The podcast is available on Apple Podcast or you can listen on YouTube.

Thinking of you as you courageously ask for help.

SharRon

The Power of SHIFT Support: Reframing Strength, Asking for Help, and Becoming Whole

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on The Power of SHIFT Support: Reframing Strength, Asking for Help, and Becoming Whole

I hope this message finds you well-rested in your body, nourished in your spirit, and deeply connected to those who help you feel seen, safe, and supported. We all need and deserve that kind of care in our lives, especially today. 💜

Family, recently, some friends and clients have shared that they are experiencing “life quakes” in their lives. Those moments can shake your very foundation and make you question your ability to make wise choices or stay aligned with your values. And you know what? I have been feeling the same way, as I am also navigating some significant transitions in my life.

Honestly, my recent life transitions have been taxing and have required a few favors from some trusted friends.  And although I believe in the power of community and I value helping others, I still struggled when I asked for and received support. Admitting that I needed an extra set of hands, a ride from the hospital, or extensions on work deadlines felt uncomfortable and scary for me. So, if you’ve ever found it hard to reach out, you’re not alone. Many people struggle to ask for help, especially when they need it most.

For example, a few decades ago, when I was going through a divorce, I needed lots of help. I had just been promoted at work, and while I was managing everything extremely well on the outside, inside, I was unraveling. I didn’t know how to care for an energetic toddler, perform in a high-pressure job, manage a household, and still make space for my own heartbreak and healing. Family, the pressure was relentless, the loneliness was suffocating, and the shame of needing help but not knowing how to ask for it felt heavier than my responsibilities. Trust me; I was a hot mess!

But what caught me most off guard wasn’t just the new routines and the extensive to-do list. It was the emotional shifts I had to navigate as I tried to reinvent myself and accept my new identity as a single working mom. It was a crazy time, and I struggled to hold everything together for me and my son.

What I wish someone had told me then: Shifting is sacred but not simple.

It is not just the outer and logistical changes that challenge us. It is the emotional layers of grief, shame, fear, and uncertainty that spiritually and emotionally derail you. And when all that hits you at once, it can leave you feeling lost and questioning your worth, your strength, and your direction. Does this sound familiar?

Let’s say it together: SHIFTING IS HARD.

Whether starting over in a new city, changing careers, ending or beginning a relationship, buying a new home, adapting to a health diagnosis, experiencing a financial crisis,  or grappling with your faith, any major life shift or life quake can overwhelm you.

And that is why we need something I call SHIFT Support—soulful, structured, gentle care that honors your heart, mind, and spirit. We need support that feels intentional and compassionate and provides wisdom, warmth, strategy, and soulfulness. We need a wise mentor who can journey with us so we feel aided, not judged, as we navigate the unknown. Most importantly, we need SHIFT Support that helps us move from barely surviving to slowly thriving, even when life gets messy. It is the kind of care that does not magically make the hard stuff disappear but makes challenges and burdens feel easier to bear.

So, if SHIFT Support is so important, why don’t we ask for it? And why don’t more people offer it?

Because we have been taught not to ask for it.

We were handed stories—passed down through generations—that told us to stay silent, sacrifice, and handle everything on our own.

We have internalized fears that tell us we are not enough, not ready, or not worthy of help.

We have seen and live within systems that tell us we do not have access to resources or lack the agency to make requests.

But here is the good news: those stories can be rewritten. Just because those messages were passed down to us does not mean we have to be limited or imprisoned by them. Those outdated stories do not have to become our truth or an imposed mandate.

You CAN ASK FOR HELP! 

Yes, you do not have to shift alone. You do not have to shrink your needs to abide by society’s definition of “strong.” You can choose a different path and perspective. You can ask for what you need. You can learn to receive compassionate, caring support without feeling guilty, weak, or unworthy.

On the latest episode of the podcast Deciding to Soar: Living Life Your Own Way, I shared more about SHIFT Support, why transitions are emotionally taxing, and how you can be kinder to yourself when experiencing life transitions. Please listen, and I hope my words resonate with you. You can listen on YouTube or Apple Podcasts.

And if you know in your heart that you need SHIFT Support right now, I have private, confidential session openings this summer and would be honored to work with you. 

Listen now on YouTube or Apple Podcasts and start receiving the support you deserve.

In the meantime, here are some affirmations to say out loud when you are struggling to ask for help.

🌿 3 Affirmations to Remind You That You Are Worthy of Help

  • I am not a burden. I am a blessing, and my healing deserves support.
  • Even when I’m not at my best, I desire and deserve care.
  • Asking for help doesn’t diminish my power; it deepens it.
  • Asking for help is not weakness; it’s wisdom wrapped in courage.

🔄 3 Affirmations to Challenge Inherited Beliefs

  • I release the need to suffer in silence to prove my strength.
  • I prefer assistance more than I want to endure agony.
  • My worth is not measured by how much I sacrifice or struggle.
  • I can honor my family’s past without repeating their pain.

💭 3 Affirmations to Confront Internal Fears

  • I am becoming, not breaking.
  • I am worthy of support and making requests for assistance.
  • I don’t need to have everything together to feel safe, supported, and seen.
  • My fear is loud, but my truth is louder, and my truth says I’m enough.

🏛️ 3 Affirmations: Asking for Help When Facing Institutional & Systemic Barriers

  • I am not weak for needing help. I am wise for refusing to struggle alone in systems that weren’t built for me.
  • I desire support not because I can’t navigate this system, but because I choose not to navigate complexity, injustice, and bureaucracy alone. 
  • Asking for help is how I reclaim my dignity in spaces and systems designed to deny it. 

Here are culturally rooted proverbs or adages that speak to the power and wisdom of asking for help, community, or interdependence:

✝️ Christian Adage

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

– Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NIV)

A reminder that partnership and mutual support are divinely ordained.

🌍 African Proverb (Akan, Ghana)

The one who climbs a good tree always gets a push.

Translation: When your mission is worthy, support will come only if you let others help.

🪶 Native American Proverb (Lakota)

  • When you are in pain, go to the elders. Their words are medicine.

This reflects the cultural value of seeking wisdom, guidance, and support from community and ancestors.

🖤Mexican Proverb

  • El que pide ayuda, no estĂĄ solo.

Translation: The one who asks for help is not alone.

This affirms that vulnerability is a bridge to community, not a sign of weakness.

Remember, you are not unraveling; you are re-forming. You are not lost; you are being led. You are shifting, and your shifts are sacred AND they are shaping you into a newer, bolder version of yourself.

Blessings as you shift with ease.

With love and truth,

SharRon

 

* Lifequake is a term coined by Bruce Feiler.

You Are Built For Breakthroughs!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on You Are Built For Breakthroughs!

What if everything you need to soar is already inside you?

What if your life isn’t broken, but simply breaking open to release your gifts, talents, and wisdom?

I recently had the profound honor of joining the powerhouse hosts of the G-Spot Podcast—Alex Okoroji, Frankie Picasso, Clara Rufai, and Mayuri Naidu—for a soulful, sacred, and truth-telling conversation about transformation, truth, and the power of knowing who you are. The episode, “Built for the Breakthrough,” explores living beyond labels, challenging generational lies, and choosing legacy over limitations.

We talked about mindset and soul set because here’s the truth: “Success is both spiritual and strategic.” Mindset alone won’t free you. It takes spiritual clarity, embodied truth, and often a loving community to hold the mirror up for you when you forget who you are.

We also discussed how our greatest clues about purpose often come from childhood. Why? Because “your destiny leaves signs in your history.” So, if you’re feeling lost, the answers aren’t just ahead of you. The answers to live a fulfilling life are behind you and within you.

In the episode, I also got vulnerable and shared one of the defining moments in my early career. I talked about the pain of being repeatedly overlooked for leadership roles that I was qualified for and sometimes overqualified for. I remember feeling discouraged and unseen. But my father spoke words that recentered me and reshaped how I saw myself. He said, “You were made for contribution, not a corporation.”

That truth permitted me to create impact beyond institutional barriers and build a legacy aligned with my soul. Most of all, I realized that my resume did NOT limit me, and my future was not dependent on being favored by a leadership team who could not see me or respect me. Though that experience was painful, it was the beginning of me reclaiming my purpose on my own terms.

This conversation is one of the most layered and liberating I’ve ever had. So, I invite you to listen. And if you’ve ever questioned your purpose, wrestled with imposter syndrome, or wondered whether you truly belong in the rooms you’re walking into, I believe this episode will awaken something sacred inside of you.

Listen now to “Built for the Breakthrough” on the G-Spot Podcast. → Here

And remember: “You were born from greatness—and greatness will be born from you.”

Let’s rise,

Blessings!

SharRon

What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog, Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness

Sometimes, you learn more about your relationships when you are sick than when you are well.

During my 10-month health challenge, that’s precisely what I learned. After months of pretending that everything was fine, I had to be honest about what was happening to me. And what became crystal clear was that I was extremely fortunate to have folks who could accept me and sit with me when I was “raw”—scared, without makeup, doubtful, and physically weak.

Honestly, I wasn’t really surprised that my friends were so wonderful because I am extremely selective and intentional about my inner circle.  In fact, years ago, I created a framework to help me assess relationships. I call the framework the CIA Framework, which stands for Courage, Integrity, and Authenticity.

The CIA Framework was extremely helpful when I was unwell. It also showed me that courage, integrity, and authenticity could be expressed in many ways. For example, during those 10 painful months…

  • Courage looked like truth-tellers who loved me enough to be honest, even when it was hard. They told me when I was not following the doctor’s orders and how I was prolonging my illness. They also reminded me I had the internal resources and medical insight to make strategic decisions about my healing journey.
  • Integrity looked like consistency because my friends kept showing up when I had nothing to offer. They kept calling and texting me when I could not call them back or when I was unwilling to provide updates. They balanced honoring my boundaries while providing emotional, spiritual, and physical care.
  • Authenticity looked like people who made space for the real me, not just the “strong” me. They were people who didn’t weaponize religion, guilt me into rushing my healing journey, bombard me with empty platitudes, or make cruel comments about how I looked.

Even though I was blessed to experience these traits while I was ill, the CIA framework applies to every part of our lives.  For example, courage helps you speak up at work when something is unjust. Integrity allows you to lead without compromising your values. Authenticity allows you to build businesses, relationships, and identities rooted in who you are, not who people want you to be.

My friend, the CIA Framework is not just a friendship filter; it’s a life framework to ground you and guide you so you can SOAR while experiencing soul-nourishing, life-enriching support.

Also, the CIA framework is both a mirror and a magnet. In the same way we use the CIA to evaluate others, we must use it to examine ourselves.

Why?

When we embody the traits we desire in others, we develop aligned, anchored, and wholesome friendships. And as I learned, when you have aligned friendships, you won’t have to chase support because it will find you. It will find you and be beside you in your deepest valleys, and it will celebrate loudly in your greatest victories.

I share more about the CIA Framework in the Deciding To Soar Podcast: Living Life Your Own Way. You can listen to the full episode: What My 10-Month Illness Taught Me About Friendship and Wholeness on  Apple Podcast or YouTube.

If you have a friend who may benefit from this message, please forward it and encourage them to listen to the podcast.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your presence and your prayers.

Let’s continue to soar higher because the best is yet to come.

Blessings,

SharRon

Sacred Seasons: The Journey to a Purpose-Filled Life

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog, Soar Higher Blog. No Comments on Sacred Seasons: The Journey to a Purpose-Filled Life

Life doesn’t always unfold in a straight line.

Life often moves in seasons—sacred, shifting seasons that shape how we grow, how we lead,
and how we live.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking with many visionaries, leaders, and purpose-seekers about life seasons.

We have discussed how seasons help people rethink their lives, values, and missions.

Why?

If we are open-minded and open-hearted, seasons help us bloom, heal, and align.

For example, when we feel stuck, seasons can push us forward, help us learn, and clarify our vision.

When we are courageous, seasons help us challenge, confront, and change societal paradigms that support our own humanity and the humanity of others.

If we are reflective, seasons help us shift and adjust so we can ride the waves of change without drowning.

If we pay attention, seasons inspire us to grow and ask ourselves new questions that expand our lives.

If we study our personal or political history, seasons help us affect change and prevent us from passing laws that rob ourselves and others of their identities, dignity, and humanity.

If we are observant, seasons help us be grateful for what we have and thankful for what we don’t have.

When we lose something or someone we cherish, seasons allow us to mourn.

If we permit ourselves to process the loss, seasons open our hearts to grieve and remember the love we had and the love we still need.

However, if we are not intentional, seasons cause us to regress and cause pain and disruptions in our lives and the lives of others.

Though some seasons are more challenging than others, each season’s goal is the same: to Help us Live Purpose-Filled Lives.

On the newest episode of the Deciding to Soar Podcast: Living Life Your Own Way, I discuss the five distinct seasons we all go through in our lives. Click here.

The seasons that we experience are never linear. You may be in more than one at the same time, in different areas of your life. But each season is sacred. Each is necessary. And each season is part of your soul’s curriculum to prepare you to do what you were created to do.

I share the seasons below. Which season most resonates with you?

1. Revelational Season: The Awakening

  • This is a season of enlightenment and divine inquiry when you question everything you have learned about life.
  • It’s when hidden truths are revealed or hidden talents are discovered.
  • It’s a season where family secrets may be revealed, or real intentions become known.
  • It’s often sparked by discomfort, frustration, or divine nudges that urge you to open your eyes, hearts, and minds.
  • This is the season that reminds you that you can’t UN-know what you deeply know.
  • It’s when you admit that something is no longer working or fulfilling.
  • It is also when you acknowledge that you can’t return to who or what you used to be. However, you may not be entirely sure how to proceed.
  • This incredible time in our lives is about untying, untethering, and untangling us from mediocrity, stagnation, and inferiority.
  • Vital because: It breaks illusions and brings truth to light. It starts your soul’s realignment.

“Revelation is where the soul whispers, ‘There’s more.’”

2. Educational Season: Learning

  • This season, you gather the tools, wisdom, and skills needed to address your revelation – your new truth or dream.
  • You go back to school, take a course, or begin training through formal study to gain the needed expertise or knowledge to activate your new vision and architect your desired life.
  • This is a period of many mistakes, mentors, and moments that provide real-world, on-the-job training so you can maximize your moment.
  • This season will challenge you to keep your mind and heart open so you can consider new thoughts, meet new people, and experience new places.
  • It’s a period of learning HOW to fail so you can acquire the critical lessons you need while you are down and use them on your way back up.
  • During this period, you may apply old knowledge in new or creative ways because you will recalibrate or re-use what you already know.
  • It’s a time of disruption, dismantling, disconnecting, decolonizing, and deconstructing, which allows you to rebuild, reinforce, and rekindle.
  • Vital because: It prepares you with the knowledge, strategy, and spiritual maturity you need to build. It’s where you implement your newfound insight, solutions, and strategy.

“Education feeds the vision that revelation uncovered.”

3. Directional Season: The Clarifying

  • This is a season about soul-inspired movement.
  • It doesn’t always mean significant shifts or making massive changes; it could mean boundaries, pivots, pauses, or purposeful action.
  • This season is a time of testing, trying, and timing as you discern how to proceed to fulfill your calling, dharma, or destiny.
  • This period is dedicated to progress, often requiring you to let go of old plans or paths that no longer serve you.
  • During this season, you align your inner life with your outer truth to experience congruency and harmony. For example, you make decisions about your career that align with your conscience or re-configure your relationships so they align with your deepest needs.
  • This season requires courage because you are taking steps without knowing the path to your ultimate destination.
  • It is a time of liberation—sometimes fragile freedom—when you gain strength in your sovereignty and agency.
  • This season requires you to be a champion, crusader, creator, and collaborator because success never happens in isolation.
  • Vital because: Without direction, movement, or trusting your intuition to guide you, you drift.

“Direction comes when you’re ready to walk in what you know.”

4. Aspirational Season: The Dreaming

  • This is where you dare to believe, try, love, and hope again.
  • This period requires you to own, trust, unleash your imagination, and see yourself bigger than ever.
  • During this season, your desires re-emerge, often with new depth, understanding, and purpose.
  • This is a season of profound innovation because your vision expands, your creativity flows, and your courage increases.
  • Risk-taking, chance-making, and legacy-building are embraced and welcomed.
  • This season will remind you that dreams are not distractions but are divine directions to your destiny.
  • This is a season when others will often misunderstand you but will feel the most inspired, resilient, and courageous.
  • You will finally realize your capacity to stretch, create, and lead based on how you are divinely wired and NOT what society has indoctrinated or threatened you to be.
  • Vital because: It restores possibility, breathes life into your calling, and confirms your identity.

“Aspiration reminds you that your dreams are divine data.”

5. Enjoyable Season: The Living

  • This is the season where you taste the fruit of your journey and your labor.
  • This season nourishes your spirit and refills your cup for the next journey ahead.
  • You allow yourself to feel good, rest well, and receive joy.
  • You no longer feel guilty for ease, pleasure, success, or happiness.
  • You allow yourself to ask for and receive help.
  • You honor prayer, presence, and peace as spiritual practices.
  • You prioritize and protect your wholeness, wellness, and your health.
  • Vital because: Enjoyment is not a reward—it’s a requirement for sustained purpose.

“Joy is sacred. Pleasure is part of your purpose.”

Seasons.

Wherever you are on your journey, trust that your season is not a mistake; it’s a message. And whether you’re awakening, learning, discerning, dreaming, or delighting… trust that you’re precisely where you need to be for this specific time.

Click here to listen to the episode.

Remember, don’t rush the season. Receive it. Reflect on it. Rest in it. Rise with it.

Because the best is yet to come!

SharRon

Starting A New Chapter With A New Vision, Old Values & A Great Victory

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Uncategorized. No Comments on Starting A New Chapter With A New Vision, Old Values & A Great Victory

Some insights don’t fade with time—they deepen. 

A few years ago, I recorded a podcast episode while sitting by the beach, reflecting on what it meant to step into a new season with clarity and courage. Today, as I continue to heal and as the world shifts in complex ways, I realize this message is more important than ever. 

Because moments of change—whether personal, political, or physical—demand our deepest reflection. They call us to stop, to re-evaluate, and to ask: 

  • What is my vision? What do I see for myself when I strip away expectations, noise, and fear?
  • What are my values? Am I living in alignment with what truly matters to me?
  • How do I define victory? What does success mean to me—beyond material gain and societal approval? 

This is why I am sharing this conversation again. Not just as a personal reflection but as an invitation. Why? When you take a moment to reflect, you can spark profound transformations in yourself and the world around you. 

📌 Listen to the re-broadcast here: Apple Podcast or Youtube.

💡 Your turn: What’s one thing you’re re-evaluating in this season? Email me at SharRon@SharRonJamison and let me know. 

If you want to join a discussion with other wisdom-seekers, you are invited to join us in 2 weeks for Rooted To Rise. Email me to learn more. 

Blessings! 

#DeepReflection #TimesOfChange #ReBroadcast #VisionValuesVictory #ParadigmShift 

What My 7-Month Illness Taught Me About Joy

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on What My 7-Month Illness Taught Me About Joy

Have you ever found yourself waking up in the middle of the night with a gnawing question: “Is this all there is?” or “Am I living the life I was meant to live?”

If you’ve ever wrestled with these thoughts, you might be experiencing what philosophers and psychologists call a “telos crisis.”

The word “telos” comes from ancient Greek, meaning “end” or “purpose.” And a telos crisis happens when you feel disconnected from your purpose or destiny. It’s that sinking feeling that you’re off track, unfulfilled, or simply existing rather than thriving. It’s also a feeling that you are trapped by the status quo. Have you ever felt that way?

I remember vividly when my first telos crisis came knocking. On the outside, everything looked picture-perfect. The job, the relationships, the accolades — everything society says we should want or strive for – were in place. But inside, I felt hollow. I sensed I was living someone else’s dream, not my own. Most of all, I felt like I was emotionally drowning because my soul was gradually suffocating under the weight of expectations, traditions, and “shoulds.” It was a spirit-draining time in my life.

Many passion-driven, big-hearted people like YOU will also experience a telos crisis, not once but many times. Why?  A telos crisis can be triggered by a career change, a health crisis, a significant loss, an empty nest, a divorce, a religious shift, or even a moment of stillness in a noisy life. The political uncertainty and polarization we’re living through in America may also exacerbate a telos crisis because chaos often stirs up deeper questions about our place in the world and the collective legacy we’re creating. So, it’s inevitable. You will face something that will transform your life and provide the wisdom you need for a new chapter or stage.

My current telos crisis – my 7-month health challenge-  though painful, was a necessary wake-up call. It shook me out of my spiritual complacency and invited me to recalibrate, reflect, and realign my priorities.  It made me release the weight of roles, obligations,  and expectations that choked my spirit so I could focus on who I was becoming in my next season. It also showed me that I needed to build different types of friendships so I could be more vulnerable and transparent and ask others for help without them questioning my faith. Whew! Having a few Christians question my faith when I was suffering was disheartening.   (I share some of my experiences in the newest episode of Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way.)

So, how do you know you’re in the middle of a telos crisis? Here are some signs:

  1. Chronic Discontent: You’re constantly dissatisfied, even when things are objectively “fine.” Joy feels out of reach.
  2. Restlessness: You feel an urge to change but don’t know where to start or what to pursue.
  3. Numbing Behaviors: You find yourself overworking, over-eating, binge-watching, or overindulging to avoid confronting or feeling the void. (This is how I coped.)
  4. Questioning Your Choices: You start wondering if the life you’ve built is yours or if it’s the product of societal or familial expectations.
  5. Yearning for Meaning: You crave something deeper, richer, more soul-stirring than your current day-to-day grind.

Here’s the good news: A telos crisis isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. It’s a wake-up call from your soul, urging you to come home to yourself.

So, here are 5 steps to navigate through it:

1. Pause and Reflect

When you’re in the middle of a telos crisis, your instinct might be to distract yourself or power through. Resist that urge. Instead, give yourself permission to pause. Journal your thoughts, meditate, or take long walks in nature. Ask yourself, “What’s missing? What does my soul truly desire?”

2. Revisit Your Values

Often, a telos crisis stems from living out of alignment with your core values. Take some time to identify what matters most to you. Is it freedom? Connection? Creativity? Contribution? Once you know your values, you can begin to make choices that honor them.

3. Rewrite the Narrative

Many of us are living scripts that we didn’t write. Yes, it’s true. These scripts come from society, family, or past versions of ourselves. Decide to be the author of your own story or a new chapter. Ask, “What would a life that feels true to me look like?” Dream boldly. Let your imagination run wild!

4. Take Small, Courageous Steps

Significant changes don’t happen overnight. Start small. Maybe it’s signing up for that class you’ve been curious about, having an honest conversation with a loved one, or carving out 10 minutes daily to do something you love. Small steps build momentum.

5. Seek Support

Don’t go it alone. Share your journey with trusted friends, a mentor, or a coach. Success never happens in isolation, so find someone who can hold space for your exploration and encourage you as you navigate uncharted territory. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help illuminate the path forward and help you think bigger.

Click here to listen to the podcast on Apple or YouTube.

My friend, you don’t have to go through the telos crisis alone. I’ve been where you are and know how overwhelming it can feel. So, connect with me. Together, we can explore your thoughts, clarify your vision, and strategize your next steps. Click here. 

Or join my next Sister Circle, a small, intimate gathering where we will share, connect, and build a roadmap for your future. If you are interested in joining, email me at SharRon@SharRonJamison.com. We have several gatherings scheduled throughout the year.

Thankfully, I am on the road to wellness. I am not there yet, but my health is improving, and my strength is returning. I am doing everything in my power to prioritize my health and engage in the healing process, even when it’s hard or when I feel incredibly vulnerable. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Remember: A telos crisis isn’t something to fear. It’s your soul’s way of whispering, shouting, or sometimes shaking you awake so you can step boldly into the life you were always meant to live.

Blessings!

SharRon

P.S. If this message resonates with you, please share it with someone who may need inspiration. They might just need to be reminded that what they are experiencing is normal, natural, and enriching.

Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Blog. No Comments on Is It Time To Make A Change? It’s Time To Get CLEAR!

What needs to change?

Although I ask myself this question regularly, there’s something about the end of the year that makes me dig a little deeper to ensure that I am really happy—not fake happy or “just settling happy”—but soul happy. I constantly gauge how I feel because I want to experience the soul-enriching, soul-nourishing happiness that gives me peace, keeps me whole, and honors my deepest desires. I want to be happy, happy for REAL, which often means making changes.

About 25 years ago, I found myself at a crossroads and knew I needed to make courageous changes in my life. I was extremely unhappy; I was navigating life practically heartbroken. Spiritually, professionally, and personally, I had co-created experiences that de-prioritized my health, agency, and wholeness. And, I knew I craved something different for my life, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source of my chronic dissatisfaction because, for years, I had made many disempowering choices. I denied my needs, and I failed to choose ME. And unfortunately, each fear-filled, denial-based choice moved me further away from my values, voice, and vision.

As my health declined, the more terrified I became about making more poor decisions that could further disrupt my life.  I wasn’t scared about stretching beyond my comfort zone, but I was afraid of making choices that would affect my aging parents, distract me from fulfilling my divine purpose, or further jeopardize my health. But no matter how hard I prayed for direction,  I couldn’t hear God or access my own wisdom. Fear had compromised my faith and muted the whispers of my soul.  I felt lost.

To gain clarity, I developed the CLEAR Framework,  a tool to help me identify my deepest needs, wishes, and goals. I had no intention of creating a coaching tool; I only desired to create something that would help me hear my inner voice so I could follow my own path, even if it meant detouring from everything I had been taught and told to do.

The tool proved extremely helpful and eye-opening, so I wanted to share the CLEAR framework with you. So, if you feel stuck, unsure of your next step, or overwhelmed by a decision, use the CLEAR framework to clarify what changes are needed in your own life. Once you know your desires, you can navigate life with greater awareness and create more serenity, fulfillment, and joy.

C.L.E.A.R. ( Listen On YouTube or Apple Podcast)

C: Closure – Recognizing When Doors Are Closing

The C in CLEAR stands for closure. Feelings of closure are often complex, unconscious, and layered. In fact, your soul usually discerns the need for closure before your mind has words to express the quiet yearning for change.

For example, you may sense closure when you feel deep dissatisfaction with your relationships, a dwindling sense of belonging in your community, a disconnection with your faith, or a lack of passion for a job. These feelings of closure—internal calls for endings—are often a signal that you’ve outgrown your current environment and that it’s time for a change or a rebirth.

Take a moment to assess:

  • Are you feeling stagnant in your career or relationships? Why?
  • Do you sense that your ability to grow or to make an impact is diminishing? Why?
  • How do you feel confined by policies, people, and practices? Why?
  • What feels like it needs to end or be empty so you can be nourished or recharged with something new?
  • What do you yearn for in this season of your life?
  • What do you want to finish, or what feels completed?
  • What do you no longer wish to experience or participate in?
  • What needs to end so I won’t jeopardize my dignity, potential, or purpose?

Recognizing these signs of closure is not about failure; it’s about grace and growth. It’s about courageously permitting yourself to seek new spaces, relationships, and situations where you can flourish.

L: Letting Go – Releasing What No Longer Serves You

The L in CLEAR reminds us to examine what we are losing, what we have already lost, or what we need to let go of. The L requires us to reckon with the truth – our inner knowing – and honor what we feel inside our souls, know in our minds, and crave in our hearts.

For example, the L demands that we tell ourselves the truth if we feel we are losing confidence, passion, or self-esteem. It requires assessing if we are clinging to beliefs, identities, or narratives that no longer align with who we are or want to become.

Ask yourself:

  • What mindsets or habits are holding me back? How?
  • Is my current environment eroding my enthusiasm or self-worth? How?
  • Are people ignoring my new identity or boundaries? Why? How could I be encouraging their resistance to who I am now?
  • How is this situation honoring my integrity, destiny, or personhood?
  • What meaning am I assigning to “letting go,” and how does that interpretation support my efforts?

Letting go can be difficult, but it creates space for something new and better to enter your life.

E: Erasure – Reclaiming Your Authenticity

The E in CLEAR stands for erasure. Erasure is when we feel forced to suppress or abandon parts of ourselves to fit into specific spaces or to have access to certain groups. This could mean adapting to workplace cultures, relationships, or environments that demand assimilation at the expense of our authenticity. For some groups, it can mean code-switching, masking, or denouncing your identity in exchange for group membership.

Consider:

  • Where and how are you expected to have historical or cultural “amnesia” to participate or advance in specific spaces?
  • Are you erasing aspects of your identity to be accepted by your job or co-workers?
  • Do you feel you’re shrinking yourself to make others comfortable with your expertise, talents, success, or beliefs?
  • Are you abandoning your truth for traditions or organizational norms?
  • How are you compromising your integrity for inclusion?
  • Are you doubting, discounting, or dismantling yourself for fear of exclusion or retaliation?

Chronic erasure can erode your soul, undermine your sense of freedom,  and destroy your sense of self.  However, making changes to reclaim and celebrate your identity and honor your uniqueness ensures you stay healthy and whole.  And, when you reclaim who you are, you RISE! You make life-expanding, soul-nourishing, and dignity-affirming decisions to support your wholeness, wellness, and well-being.

A: Anger – Listening to What Frustrates You

The A in CLEAR stands for anger. Anger is often a sign that something we deeply value—our passions, purpose, or priorities—is being neglected. Chronic anger, which can manifest as frustration or resentment, could indicate that a situation or relationship no longer aligns with our values or goals. Even though you may want to ignore it, anger is a valuable emotion that informs us that we must change to align with our deepest values and needs.

Reflect on:

  • Where do I feel persistent anger, alienation, or irritation?
  • Why and where do I feel powerless or invisible?
  • How is anger showing up in my body?
  • Where am I constantly critiquing something, and why?
  • Is this anger signaling unmet needs or neglected priorities at home?
  • Is anger fueling me or fooling me? How does it affect my behavior?

Again….never ignore anger. Instead, use it to identify your truth and as a catalyst for change, guiding you toward environments that respect your personhood and nurture your passions.

R: Rest – Seeking Peace and Safety

Finally, the R in CLEAR stands for rest. Deep emotional, physical, and spiritual rest comes when we feel safe, valued, and settled. If confusion, chaos, or a lack of safety pervades your environment, you won’t rest. You will also feel constantly exhausted if you have to continually act, compromise, or over-give in exchange for access or acceptance.   So, determine if you feel rested or at ease. If not, a change might be needed.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel peace and rest in my current situation?
  • Where do I feel taxed, troubled, twisted, and constantly tested?
  • Is this a place or a relationship where I can thrive without sacrificing my well-being and wholeness?
  • Do I feel drained at certain places, events, or groups?
  • Do I have to be high alert at work or watch my back when engaging with certain people?
  • Do I have to hide my intentions, conceal my motives, or minimize my goals with certain groups?
  • Is this situation affecting my ability to sleep?

You deserve environments and relationships where you can recharge and feel at ease. Remember, rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for a fulfilling life.

Get CLEAR! (listen here)

Before you make another decision, get clear. And use the CLEAR framework because it isn’t just a guide for major life decisions—it’s a way to honor yourself and your needs. (listen here on YouTube)

So, before the new year:

  1. Take a moment to reflect on your current situation (work, relationships, faith, projects).
  2. Use each CLEAR principle as a lens to evaluate where you are and what changes might be needed.
  3. Create a plan to address areas where you feel stuck, unfulfilled, or diminished.
  4. Find people who can support you on your journey and remind you of your brilliance.

Remember, change isn’t about abandoning what’s familiar; it’s about stepping into what’s more fulfilling.

I also look forward to sharing more about CLEAR on Jan. 18th in the NOW What Retreat. Be on the lookout for registration information.

Thanks for reading and listening to the Deciding To Soar: Living Life Your Own Way podcast.

Also, please reply to this message and let me know your thoughts.

Blessings!

SharRon

* I have been asked how you can support my work. I would love to work with you. However, I also love coffee and tea.  Click here.