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Tag: I Have Learned A Few Things

Living LONG or Living WELL or Both?

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Did you know there’s a difference between LIVING LONG and LIVING WELL?

I never considered the difference until one of my mentors explained what LIVING WELL was.

According to my mentor, LIVING WELL means being the best version of yourself. It’s when you are doing work that you love, making a positive impact on the world, prioritizing your health, and surrounding yourself with people who value and appreciate you.

As a “midlifer” (that’s what I am lovingly calling myself now), that perspective resonated with my soul. It made me wonder: Am I living as well as I can?

Quietly, my soul whispered, “No, but you could if you keep making honest choices.”

So, what are honest choices?

Making honest choices is about telling yourself the truth about your desires, needs, and beliefs before you take action. It’s also about honoring your gifts, owning your strengths, and responsibly managing your physical, mental, and social resources.

Even though making honest choices is the most heart-affirming thing to do, it’s not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, implementing soul-expanding, values-inspired decisions can be difficult.

Why?

Since childhood, we have been taught and celebrated for parroting what others said or for copying what others did, even when those actions contradicted our truth.

But….what if you pushed past your discomfort, guilt, and fear and told yourself the FULL TRUTH about your deepest desires and unmet needs?

What if you turned DOWN the volume of external messages and turned UP the volume on your heart’s yearnings?

What if you trusted your longings and hopes?

What if you engage in new conversations and consider fresh beliefs?

What if you walked a different path or listened to your inner wisdom?

What if you stopped “obligated” living and embraced “option” living?

What if you shaped your world instead of being squeezed by the world?

What if you believed you were more than your history, memories, and career so you could see unlimited possibilities for your life?

What if you believed you were worthy of living WELL so you could enjoy your one precious life?

We lovingly explore what it means to LIVE WELL in all my coaching programs. We embrace the question with courageous curiosity and imagine what living well would feel, sound, and taste like.

We ask each other questions and share our experiences to learn, unlearn, and relearn ways of being true to ourselves and each other.

And guess what?

Those conversations are so clarifying and nourishing. Talking about life with generous, joy-seeking, supportive people helps you consider your values and goals. And by exchanging wisdom, everyone gains new insight and tactics to design a more fulfilling, purposeful life.

So, think about your life and ask yourself, are you living well? Determine if you are doing what you feel called, created, and anointed to do. Look within your heart and determine whether your life makes you feel inspired, motivated, or obligated. Ask yourself how to be more honest to help you dream and soar again.

Here’s the good news: there is a safe place to ask yourself soul-nourishing questions and get the support you need to thrive in Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home To Yourself.

Rooted To Rise is a sacred gathering where people can openly discuss ideas and take healthy risks without feeling overwhelmed or judged.

And if you join, you’ll be part of a caring, purposeful circle that will celebrate and encourage you as you rethink, reclaim, and reimagine your life.

If Rooted To Rise speaks to you, click here to get on the waitlist for the last cohort in 2023.

I share more about living well in our exclusive community podcast. Click here to listen.

LIVE WELL this week. Be good to yourself. Stretch yourself, but don’t stress yourself. And remember…you don’t have to soar alone.

Blessings,

SharRon.

 

What Is Your Life Saying To You?

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Have you ever wondered how you would look, live and love if you did most of what you promised yourself you would do?

During my weekly inventory, I think about my life. I examine my choices, thoughts, actions, and comments to assess if my life resembles and reflects the promises I made to myself and honors the commitments I made to others.

Sometimes I feel proud that my behavior aligns with my commitments. But sometimes, I realize that there are gaps, and the gaps are usually around how I treat myself and how I treat my “calling.” Sometimes I also realize that I am giving too much of myself to people and places not aligned with my destiny, jeopardizing my wholeness and health.

Over the last few months, I have realized that many leaders, visionaries, and change agents also feel their lives are not aligned with their deepest desires or their most urgent needs. Many have shared that they feel burdened by responsibilities or exhausted by politics, competing priorities, and challenging people.

Truth: Collective exhaustion and misalignment take a toll on our souls. It distracts people – people like you and me who deeply care about the world – from creating the change we want and need to see in our communities. Weariness also prevents us from honoring and caring for spirits, bodies, and loved ones.

So, this week, take a step back and review your life to ensure you are directing your energy and efforts to the right causes, values, and systems.

Inspect your relationships. Examine your career, your calling, or your life’s work. Analyze your progress, proficiency, and potential to determine if your behavior aligns with your soul’s desires and goals.

Then, look in the mirror. Glance over your body. Reflect on your heart. Connect with your soul. Survey the rooms in your house. Then honestly (without judgment), ask yourself: is my life lying to me about what I care about, or am I lying about my life?

My elders used to say that ” talking and telling ain’t the same thing.” Translation: What you say is one thing. What you do is something else.

So, today, ask yourself: What is my mouth saying that I am NOT doing? How can I get more in alignment with my truth? What unconscious thoughts or fears are getting in my way? How are my goals and actions aligned with my values? Where can I be more courageous in my decision-making and bridge-building?

When your life reflects the core of who you are, you will thrive! You will feel invigorated, empowered, and fulfilled. And when you are happy, aligned, and rested, you will create the changes you want to see in the world.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we speak and work for the collective good while honoring our deepest individual needs. That way, our mouths will talk, and our lives with honestly tell.

Blessings!

SharRon

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

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When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

Success Is Never About Knowing More Stuff; Success Is About Knowing More of SELF

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Some people spend their entire lives learning how to follow rules, how to hide their identities, and how to collude with the dominant culture to get ahead in the world.

They learn how to perform, please, and produce for others, but never learn how to pursue their own dreams.

They don’t learn what excites their souls, what ignites their hearts, or what delights their bodies.

They don’t learn how to resist peer pressure, how to reclaim their agency, or how to reposition their goals.

They never learn how to value their own history, how to respect their voice, or how to settle their spirit.

Honestly, some people never learn who they are or how to care for themselves. And so, they follow old templates, policies, and traditions that don’t align with their innate strengths, needs, or gifts.

They copy and comply with the status quo, never creating their own life or charting their own course.

They live decades, never interrogating their inherited beliefs or questioning why they feel so disconnected from themselves.

They live encumbered, weighed down by the expectations of the world, never tasting the sweetness of liberation.

The good news is, you are NOT most people.

You can choose to live differently just by asking yourself the following questions.

Questions…..

  • What do I know about myself – history, identities, and desires?
  • What lights me up?
  • What tickles my fancy?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • What truth do I need to admit to myself?
  • Why don’t I follow my heart or heed my own internal compass?
  • What will nourish my soul?
  • What are my talents and skills?
  • How has culture shaped my understanding of my place in the world?
  • What oppressive beliefs are undermining my ability to step into my full power?
  • How are my childhood beliefs informing my adulthood behavior?

Just a few questions can help alter the trajectory of your life.

What I know for sure is: Life gets easier when YOU accept the truth of who YOU are…the TRUTH Of SELF!

The TRUTH OF SELF is the key that unlocks all the doors of your life.

Do you know the TRUTH Of SELF?

If not, join me and other heart-centered visionaries for a six-month journey to learn more about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I Dare To BE ME is starting soon.

It’s time for you to know how valuable and talented you are so you can live your BEST LIFE!

See you soon!

 

 

The More We Know Community Show: Conversations Cultivating Change

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Something magical happens when two Black women discuss the power of purpose.

Why?

We understand that following purpose is not easy in a culture that undervalues who we are.

In a culture that constantly bombards us with messages aimed at undermining our self-worth, self-value, and our sense of dignity, we know it takes courage and tenacity to believe in ourselves.

It takes a steadfast belief in our brilliance, sovereignty, and inner wisdom to defy that status quo and to confront the narrow, demeaning paradigms used to keep us informed, in debt, and in fear.

It takes deep self-trust, faith, optimism, and a community of other powerful women to hold space, to cheer us on, and to share their collective wisdom to break glass ceilings, challenge oppressive cultures, and disconnect from toxic religion.

Sylvia Bartley and I talk about these issues and more because we are committed to helping people, especially Black Women, fulfill their purpose, celebrate their gifts, and create legacies.

Please listen, share your thoughts, share the podcast with your friends, and write a review. We would love your support.

Thank you, Dr. Bartley, for offering such an inspirational gift to the world.

I SEE you, and I honor you.

Click here to listen.

A Few HUGS Can Help You Win!

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HUGS will help you win!

When you are trying something new, you need plenty of HUGS!

Even though there is great power and comfort in a warm embrace, I am talking about different types of HUGS.

What are HUGS?

HUGS are essential ingredients for your success.

H.U.G.S. stands for:

H = You must understand your history.
When pursuing a goal or dream, it’s important to review your history because your past always leaves clues about your future. For example, understanding your cultural and social histories provides valuable insight into what shaped your beliefs and behaviors. When you understand your history, you can challenge inherited assumptions, so you can choose between who society wants you to be and who you want to become.

U =  You need to be undergirded.

Undergirding is not a word you hear a lot, but it means “to bolster, brace, strengthen and sustain.” It means possessing and accessing the internal and external infrastructures YOU need to build what you desire in your life. I will share more about the importance of infrastructure on Saturday during Soar 2022. You can register here.

G =  You need to give yourself grace.

When starting something new, you must give yourself the grace to learn and experiment with new skills, abilities, and perspectives. You must allow space for learning, relearning, and unlearning without judging yourself. Remember, everything in life is a big experiment that gives you the outcomes you want OR the lesson you need. So, give yourself grace to experiment so you can gain the wisdom you need.

S = You need support.

Success is always a team sport. Sometimes you need advice, skills, and mentors to assist you. When you identify the types of support you need, you can enlist and invest in the training, people, and resources you need to SOAR.

So, as you are considering your 2022 goals, think about giving yourself lots of H.U.G.S. because hugs have a way of providing the unique leverage, energy, and perspectives you need to:

  1. Ask yourself life-enhancing questions
  2. Awaken your buried gifts
  3. Attuned to your inner knowing
  4. Accept the highs of success without arrogance and the lows of growth without shame
  5. Allow people to help you without judging yourself
  6. Accomplish goals that are meaningful to you

If you’re interested in learning more about the power of hugs, I invite you to join me this Saturday for SOAR 2022.  Click here.

In the comfort of your home, you can gather with other heart-centered, values-driven people to talk about how you can achieve meaningful goals with joy and ease.

 

Hurray For New Beginnings!

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It’s benediction time!

When you think of the word benediction, you probably think of religious rituals.

But benedictions are not only for religion; they are also expressions of appreciation and respect delivered at significant endings to signify the beginning of another sacred journey.

Benedictions are holy and cherished because they allow us to acknowledge all the pain and trials we have endured and the triumphs and successes we have enjoyed.

And as we reflect and review all we have experienced, we celebrate and offer praise. We open our hearts and minds with great anticipation, knowing that whatever is being birthed in us and through us will catapult us into a higher dimension of destiny.

A few days ago, I offered a few benedictions in my life. I offered prayers of gratitude and said a few goodbyes over several identities that served the old me. I thanked those identities for helping me navigate some tumultuous times in my life and honored the power, perspective, and promotions that those identities helped me achieve.

I also offered benedictions over a few relationships that had run their course so I could SOAR unencumbered by the weight of performing, proving, and people-pleasing.

I said some farewells to some outdated beliefs that I needed to retire because they no longer offered guidance, truth, or illumination.

I also gave some Holy Ghost sendoffs to some old wounds that kept me triggered, hypervigilant, and constantly agitated so that I could enjoy more peace.

Offering those benedictions was a powerful “spiritual shedding” that commemorated a rebirth, called for spiritual reclamation, and served as a sacred closure.

And now I feel more empowered to dare to soar higher, fortified by a new awareness, a fresh spiritual anointing, and a bolder inner advocate to make my dreams come true.

So this weekend, look at your life and identify what needs a benediction, a sacred closing.

Determine if your career, job, relationship, identity, belief, or faith tradition no longer serves you, and say goodbye for good.

By offering words of thanksgiving and sincere gratitude for what went right, what went wrong, and what didn’t go as planned, you can release the past and walk into your future EMPTY, waiting and willing to be filled and fulfilled with goodness, greatness, and grace.

The good news is, when you offer heartfelt benedictions, they don’t need to be deep or complicated.

You can say something like….Thank you for what you taught me, brought me, and gave me. Or……May the strength of God sustain me as I go forth with the lessons I gained, the wisdom I earned, and the power I reclaimed.

Whatever you say from your heart is enough because benedictions are deeply personal.

A few days ago, after I gave my benedictions, I was inspired to create a workshop to address the power of fresh beginnings.

This workshop, Creating A Path to More Freedom, Fulfillment & Flow with Ease, is definitely for you if you know you need to say goodbye to a few things but need help discerning what needs to be released so you can soar. Click here.

During the workshop, I will share seven key questions that will help you determine what needs a benediction so you can welcome all the life-nourishing opportunities that God has in store just for you!

Click here to register.

Remember, offer a benediction so you can walk through 2022 with great expectations of peace, joy, love, ease, and abundance.

Blessings,

SharRon

Liminal Space

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Daring to soar higher is the willingness to go through the liminal spaces so you can taste the sweetness of liberation, fulfillment, and meaning.

And even though journeying through the liminal space is needed for your evolution, it can feel extremely destabilizing.

Why?

It’s a place and time for re-thinking, reimagining, rekindling, reckoning, and reassessing.

It’s a sacred passage —-

  •  Of deconstruction and reconstruction.
  •  Of disorientation and re-orientation.
  •  Of knowing and unknowing.
  •  Of learning and unlearning.
  •  Of reclaiming and releasing.
  •  Of gaining and giving

It’s a purposeful, pregnant, prophetic space of divine potential and enormous possibility.

It’s a journey to your promised land.

When you go through the luminal space, you will feel as if you are between and betwixt…. not here and not there.

So, let your inner compass guide you because you may not SEE your next best step; you may only be able to sense it. That’s why you must let the Spirit direct you.

If you bravely go through this space, you will evolve. You will know yourself beyond your resume, cultural conditioning, and embedded mandates.

Remember, your old identities, beliefs, and patterns will not serve you in this glorious space, so let them go!

Allow yourself to ascend to a higher dimension of destiny, knowing that you have been equipped to Soar!

So, here’s the question: what passageway must you enter/exit in order to live your fullest, most honest life?

What needs a benediction so you can embark on a new beginning?

If you want to explore these vital questions in a safe, courageous community, I Dare To Me is starting again soon.

In I Dare To Be Me, we welcome your ambition, brilliance, complexity, and “becoming.”

And most of all, we would love to have you join us.

Click here to learn more.

You Can Depend On You

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How would your life change if you KNEW you could depend on yourself to make value-inspired, destiny-driven decisions?

I know it’s hard to imagine, but just think about the power and the joy of finally following your own heart.

When you believe in yourself and trust your inner wisdom, you can “vote” for yourself by making decisions that honor your dreams, goals, and vision, even if nobody else supports you!

You can stop settling for the status quo, finally understand what’s holding you back, unapologetically own your desires, and get to work on your dreams.

What I know for sure…..Depending ON YOURSELF is liberating. It’s a deep inner-knowing and a sense of freedom that most people only wish for, but only the most courageous enjoy.

But no more!

With the support of a courageous community and by using tools that you already have inside of you, you can:

  • start a new year with a new awareness of who you are and who you are destined to be
  • renew your commitment to embrace your genuine desires and pursue your most audacious dreams
  • celebrate your gifts, cultivate your talents, and activate your superpowers to build a life that gives your meaning
  • break old patterns that sabotage you and fill you with feelings of unworthiness
  • structure your life so that it supports and aligns with who are becoming
  • own and follow your truth, despite the naysayers, and create a more fulfilling life

YOU can become a powerful advocate for yourself like never before and break down the inner barriers that keep you safe BUT NOT satisfied.

Yes, YOU CAN DEPEND ON YOU!

You Can Depend On You to reclaim your power and restore your true identity so you can thrive again.

You can honor your real values, acknowledge your unspoken needs, and pursue your unrealized goals without shame, guilt, or fear and finally live a life that makes your heart sing.

The Welcome Session is on 12/30 and I hope to see you there.

Click here to learn more.

Wine, Weed & Waffles

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A couple of days ago, I posed this question to my coaching community.

What do you do to cope when your soul KNOWS that you are not fulfilling your dreams, pursuing your divine call, or living up to your potential?

One person said: “Every day, I come home and drink a bottle of wine because I know I am settling in my career. My manager is crazy, and I know I should leave the job, but I have invested 25 years at the company, and I only need a few more years to get my full benefits. I hate it but am stuck.”

The second person said: “When I come home, I smoke weed. I want to leave my job, but my family relies on me for money; they need my income. I am the only financially responsible person in my family, and I don’t want to end up like my siblings….broke.”

The third person said:  “When I feel sad, I make waffles, and I put lots of syrup on them, and the sweetness helps me feel better.”

The fourth person said: “When I feel upset, I sing, dance, and worship and try to connect with God. Praise makes me feel better.”

The last person said: “I am scared, and I always worry that time will run out before I ever get to really enjoy my life. I fear I will die before I see my dreams come true.”

After everyone courageously shared, it became apparent that everybody was suffering because they were not living the life they wanted or hoped to live. They were coping, sleep walking, compromising, or just surviving, but no one was fully enjoying their lives.

Honestly, their experiences resonated with me because there have been many times in my life when I was merely existing, not boldly living. I was often weary, sad, and totally disconnected from my higher self throughout my twenties and early thirties.

Have you ever felt that way?

What I know for sure …. There is nothing that can assuage the painful feelings of self-doubt, desperation, and demoralization.

No amount of wine can lift the heaviness of feeling like you are settling for crumbs or selling your soul.

No amount of weed can get you high enough to silence the inner demons that try to convince you that you are unwanted, unworthy, and unwelcomed.

Not even the tastiest waffles can remove the bitter taste of regret, resentment, and resignation that results from not honoring your God-given gifts or following your unique path.

And even though I believe in worship, I know that the euphoria of praise is not enough to radically change your life if you won’t take courageous action toward your dreams.

Finally, I can testify that worrying is futile. Worrying fixes nothing! All that worry does is make you feel exhausted, disempowered, and hopeless.

What I have learned in my sometimes painful, zigzagging life journey is that ONLY addressing your unspoken wounds, admitting your unacknowledged dreams, and owning your unmet needs will help you and heal you.

That’s the truth. Honesty is the only antidote to healing, emotional health, and hope.

Let’s be candid….some people reading this message will judge these courageous women because it’s easy to criticize and condemn people when they are honest about the ways they manage their spiritual and emotional pain.

But what is more difficult is looking in the mirror and honestly assessing how you are quieting your fears, silencing your doubts, delaying your dreams, and numbing your discontent.

Granted, it might not be wine, weed, and waffles that soothe you, but it is something that quiets those voices that admonish you to try harder, live bolder, and strive further.

Or, it might not even be worry, worship, and work that anesthetizes your feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, or despair. But it is something that helps you endure your feelings of abandonment, marginalization, and desperation.

But trust me, whatever helps you manage and endure your toxic feelings, especially your feelings of mediocrity and misery, prevents you from living a fulfilling life full of joy, deep peace, or true meaning.

So, as 2021 comes to a close, I encourage you to think critically about your life. I urge you to dream again and imagine what genuine connection, meaningful work, and unspeakable joy could feel like in your life. I beg you to look within and search your heart so you can remember how incredibly gifted, how needed, and deeply loved you are.

My friend, you don’t have to just cope with your painful feelings, because you have the power to change whatever needs to be changed in your life, so you can have peace, joy, and hope.

Remember, you are powerful, and you have what it takes to recreate and recalibrate your life.

All you need to do is remember, reclaim, and revive your ability to SOAR!

Wine, weed, and waffles!

I have not tried to ease my emotional suffering with any of those. But I have been guilty of coping with my pain by drowning myself in work, engaging in empty “wishing,” and jeopardizing my health with endless worry. Sometimes I still struggle because I am always a work in progress, and you probably are too. Am I right?

Please let me know your thoughts.

I hope to work with you soon.

Never forget….it’s time for you to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER and take your rightful place in the world so you can experience a new level of life, joy, prosperity, and belonging.

To listen to a few more thoughts about the subject, click here.

Blessings!

SharRon