Skip to main content

Tag: I Have Learned A Few Things

Rediscovering Dreams, Nurturing Growth, and Embracing Authenticity

Yesterday was the first time in 20 years that I spent Christmas with my parents. Celebrating and enjoying the holidays with them was such a blessing.
While there, I saw this wonderful picture of me when I was 7. It made me ask myself:
👉🏾 What did this little girl want?
👉🏾 What did this little girl believe about her potential and purpose?
👉🏾 What did this little girl hope for and believe about her life?
👉🏾 When did this little girl STOP dreaming big?
I don’t know the answers, but this morning I am asking myself those questions because the little girl in the picture has wisdom that the adult ME needs.
The little girl in the picture has divine insight… insight that God protected from the unconscious, ubiquitous effects of cultural and social indoctrination.
Wisdom that God protected to ensure she stayed equipped, enthusiastic, and empowered to fulfill her divine calling. To do something significant, transformative, and legacy-producing in the world.
So, the adult ME is staring at the photo, straining to see beyond the social brainwashing and conditioning to see what the little girl wanted and needed so that I CAN give it to her.
The adult ME is resurrecting and reclaiming those childhood buried dreams – the dreams that society tried to kill – so I can be the changemaker that God ordained me to be.
The adult ME is revising narratives, identifying lies, and debunking myths that tried to make me settle for the status quo and a “toxic” normal that is making the world a scarier, sicker, and sadder place to live.
Questions:
  • What did your little person need?
  • What buried dreams do you need to resurrect?
  • What must you remember and reclaim to walk in your authentic authority?
Our childhoods hold clues about our greatness. And when we look under the pain, trauma, historical narratives, systematic oppression, cultural domination, and gender norms, we will uncover who we were divinely created to be!
As my elders used to say: You are higher than what you heard.
Let’s Dare To Soar Higher!
Blessings.

 

Success Is A Personal Thing!

Success is such a personal thing. Yes, it’s personal!

Success is what YOU want for your life, and you must CREATE it.

Now, it won’t be easy because sometimes, success requires you to tear down or strategically quit something you spent time, money, and energy making or cultivating.  And leaving something you invested in is hard, even when you know happiness and relief are right around the corner.

Sometimes, success also requires you to analyze and compare incomes with outcomes.  Or demand that you compare inputs to outputs. Or require you to make additions and subtractions. Success, however you define it, requires you to take inventory of your choices and make adjustments to advance.  Whew!

The truth is that creating something new or more satisfying is not easy; it’s a layered process that requires wisdom and a plan. And the plan has to be agile enough to allow pivots, pauses, and changes in perspective because the “success” journey is about self-discovery. You will learn more about your gifts, talents, and intuition with every new step you take toward your dreams.

So….despite the discomfort, when it is time to move, shift, and restructure parts of your life, you must take action. You must take small steps in the direction of your dreams and vision. If not, you will forfeit your ability to express your essence. And most of all, you will delay your own happiness and fulfillment. Yes, YOU!  Remember, you are in charge and responsible for creating the life you want to live.

Just for the record… Everyone will NOT be happy when you make changes to pursue your dream. Some folks will even gossip about you.

But trust me, the people who will have the most to say about your choices never really supported you, anyway. Not really!  Why? People deeply invested in your happiness encourage and support you when you take risks. Also, people who really know you realize when you are not happy or playing small and anticipate you making changes to enrich your life. That’s a fact!

So, as a new month starts and another year comes quickly to a close, look at your life. Evaluate your relationships. Assess your business. Examine your career. Think about how you treat your body, your most important asset.

And, then, change what no longer works for you so you can position yourself for your future.

Change whatever needs to be changed to align your body, mind, and soul so you can:

  • Produce more fruit in your career, business, & purpose.
  • Be more faithful to your goals, values, vision, and health.
  • Have more focus on the things that matter.
  • Love and spend time with friends and REAL supporters.
  • Create a deeply-connected family that provides unconditional acceptance and support.
  • Experience deeper fulfillment in ways that feel nourishing.
  • Stay fluid so you can change when your circumstances or needs change.
  • Deepen your faith so you have a higher and closer relationship to a Higher Power.
  • Strengthen your foundation so you can weather storms and “hold” success without faltering.

Remember, success is personal! It’s not just about achievement, accolades, positions, money, or status. Sometimes, success is about YOUR peace, rest, purpose, and deep-bellied laughter with loved ones.

If creating success on your own terms resonates, join me and other brave souls in 2024 for a few life-enriching, soul-nourishing events.

You’ll not only gain life-transforming strategies and profound insights to craft your own definition of success, but you’ll also leave with an unwavering determination to fulfill your soul’s deepest desires.

Click here to get on my mailing list.

In the meantime, keep making success personal, so you can live a life that makes YOUR heart sing.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

The Dare To Soar Higher Strategist

Bet On Yourself, Not A System!

Therapist: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

Me: What systems? How am I betting on them?

Tears still come to my eyes when I think of this painful conversation. I still feel sad when I remember struggling to prove myself in an unsupportive corporate environment.

For years, I did everything to demonstrate my competency, creativity, and proficiency. And I knew people saw my value because they consistently stole my work, ideas, and strategies. But despite being trusted to train and unofficially lead others, I was repeatedly told I wasn’t “ready” for leadership roles. In other words, I was good enough to “labor” but not lead.

After being overlooked for yet another leadership position, I emotionally crashed. And during one of my therapy sessions, my therapist — a powerful Black woman – asked me a critical question that changed my life: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

For years, I had been in therapy with white counselors (they accepted my health insurance) but had never been asked about the impact of systems on my well-being. Never! There were no conversations about bias, being excluded, being overlooked, being talked over, being dismissed, or being disrespected. Even though I shared many details of my work environment, I was never asked questions about systems, racism, sexism, or any other isms.

Thankfully, I finally found a Black therapist who deeply connected with me. Tenderly, she asked me questions that made me feel genuinely heard and understood. Because of her own experiences, she never questioned my experiences or realities. She didn’t ask for painful examples or embarrassing details that made me feel more ashamed. She didn’t pepper me with questions to devalue or discount the effects of ongoing corporate abuse. She KNEW!

During my sessions with her,  she gently explained how I unknowingly colluded with harmful historical systems and narratives that robbed me of my agency, health, and self-respect. And through her wisdom, love, and spiritually infused strategies, I started a powerful healing journey. I began to learn and unlearn messages that made me doubt my value, ability, and brilliance. Most importantly, I began to remember and believe in the power of MY story, identity, and ancestral wisdom.

The healing process was painful and layered, yet soul-nourishing. Gradually, I started regaining my confidence, joy, and self-respect. I regained my agency and began working differently and more courageously with colleagues and saboteurs.  I also began reimagining my future as a Black professional and realized I had enormous potential that didn’t need to be validated by corporations.

My life-changing experience with a therapist who understood oppression and the sting of microaggressions – which are NOT micro at all – was one reason I started creating safe places for other Black women and women of color. I wanted to provide loving sanctuaries where women could grieve without judgment and grow without fear. I wanted to create spaces where women felt honored, celebrated, and affirmed—places where women didn’t need to compete or spiritually exhaust themselves to be seen or witnessed.

The truth is, when I entered corporate America, I unknowingly bet on a system because I didn’t know any better. For the first 10 years of my career, I played by the written rules of success, not the unspoken paths.  Why? I was the first person in my family to work in corporate settings and didn’t know what it meant to bet on myself in corporate environments. Honestly, I just didn’t know how to navigate or advocate for myself; I wasn’t taught the political games.  In the early 1990s and even today, there were few mentors, sponsors, or allies willing to extend a hand to support people who looked like me.

If you feel you are betting on a system instead of seeing your brilliance, I would love to help. For over 25 years, I have worked with some amazing women and have helped them rethink, retool, and reimagine their careers in ways that honored their souls.

I am still in corporate America and doing work I enjoy. But because I see myself differently and fully – I see myself BEYOND the limitations of systems –  I have also been able to build a successful business, write books, coach executives, serve as a minister in a progressive congregation, and help some big-hearted people DARE TO SOAR HIGHER in every aspect of their lives.

Bet ON YOURSELF!

You have everything you need encoded and loaded in your DNA to create a soul-nourishing career inside and outside organizations.

BET ON YOURSELF!

You got this!

Blessings!

SharRon

Who Can Help Me vs How Can I Do It Alone

Lately, I have been researching a lot about procrastination, and I have learned that procrastination is a form of wisdom.

I know…hear me out.

I learned that procrastination is a by-product of having big dreams and goals but not feeling like you know HOW to pursue them.

According to research, most people would procrastinate less if asked, “WHO can help me?” not “HOW can I accomplish my goal?”

Why?

Asking “WHO” immediately helps you reach beyond your own expertise and experience.

Asking “WHO” invites information and wisdom from other sources and expands your support pool.

Asking “WHO” helps you invest time, effort, and money in the right people– people who can offer guidance to help you achieve your goals faster and with greater ease.

So, instead of asking yourself HOW you can accomplish something, ask….

  • Who can help me achieve my goals to grow my financial portfolio, get healthier, and rebuild my relationship with my partner?
  •  Who can assist me in identifying new opportunities at my job or business?
  • Who can help me restructure my life so I can rest and build deeper relationships?
  • Who can help me maximize my income and investments?
  • Who can support me in reclaiming my confidence after a challenging experience?
  • Who can help me conquer my fears of success?
  • Who can help me leave my toxic job or “right-size” my business?
  • WHO???

Remember, the WHO question helps you take faster action because it frees you from the details, reduces your worry, and quiets your fear.

So, this week, ask, “WHO can help me?” and watch your life expand.

And, of course, if you need 1-on-1 support to help you answer the WHO question, please reply to this message. I have a few open VIP days in September.

 Also, don’t forget that Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home To Yourself starts on September 23rd. We are fearlessly asking the WHO question in that amazing community, too.

Have a wonderful week, and please know that I am cheering for you because I know the WHO question will enrich your life.

Blessings!

Living LONG or Living WELL or Both?

Did you know there’s a difference between LIVING LONG and LIVING WELL?

I never considered the difference until one of my mentors explained what LIVING WELL was.

According to my mentor, LIVING WELL means being the best version of yourself. It’s when you are doing work that you love, making a positive impact on the world, prioritizing your health, and surrounding yourself with people who value and appreciate you.

As a “midlifer” (that’s what I am lovingly calling myself now), that perspective resonated with my soul. It made me wonder: Am I living as well as I can?

Quietly, my soul whispered, “No, but you could if you keep making honest choices.”

So, what are honest choices?

Making honest choices is about telling yourself the truth about your desires, needs, and beliefs before you take action. It’s also about honoring your gifts, owning your strengths, and responsibly managing your physical, mental, and social resources.

Even though making honest choices is the most heart-affirming thing to do, it’s not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, implementing soul-expanding, values-inspired decisions can be difficult.

Why?

Since childhood, we have been taught and celebrated for parroting what others said or for copying what others did, even when those actions contradicted our truth.

But….what if you pushed past your discomfort, guilt, and fear and told yourself the FULL TRUTH about your deepest desires and unmet needs?

What if you turned DOWN the volume of external messages and turned UP the volume on your heart’s yearnings?

What if you trusted your longings and hopes?

What if you engage in new conversations and consider fresh beliefs?

What if you walked a different path or listened to your inner wisdom?

What if you stopped “obligated” living and embraced “option” living?

What if you shaped your world instead of being squeezed by the world?

What if you believed you were more than your history, memories, and career so you could see unlimited possibilities for your life?

What if you believed you were worthy of living WELL so you could enjoy your one precious life?

We lovingly explore what it means to LIVE WELL in all my coaching programs. We embrace the question with courageous curiosity and imagine what living well would feel, sound, and taste like.

We ask each other questions and share our experiences to learn, unlearn, and relearn ways of being true to ourselves and each other.

And guess what?

Those conversations are so clarifying and nourishing. Talking about life with generous, joy-seeking, supportive people helps you consider your values and goals. And by exchanging wisdom, everyone gains new insight and tactics to design a more fulfilling, purposeful life.

So, think about your life and ask yourself, are you living well? Determine if you are doing what you feel called, created, and anointed to do. Look within your heart and determine whether your life makes you feel inspired, motivated, or obligated. Ask yourself how to be more honest to help you dream and soar again.

Here’s the good news: there is a safe place to ask yourself soul-nourishing questions and get the support you need to thrive in Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home To Yourself.

Rooted To Rise is a sacred gathering where people can openly discuss ideas and take healthy risks without feeling overwhelmed or judged.

And if you join, you’ll be part of a caring, purposeful circle that will celebrate and encourage you as you rethink, reclaim, and reimagine your life.

If Rooted To Rise speaks to you, click here to get on the waitlist for the last cohort in 2023.

I share more about living well in our exclusive community podcast. Click here to listen.

LIVE WELL this week. Be good to yourself. Stretch yourself, but don’t stress yourself. And remember…you don’t have to soar alone.

Blessings,

SharRon.

 

What Is Your Life Saying To You?

Have you ever wondered how you would look, live and love if you did most of what you promised yourself you would do?

During my weekly inventory, I think about my life. I examine my choices, thoughts, actions, and comments to assess if my life resembles and reflects the promises I made to myself and honors the commitments I made to others.

Sometimes I feel proud that my behavior aligns with my commitments. But sometimes, I realize that there are gaps, and the gaps are usually around how I treat myself and how I treat my “calling.” Sometimes I also realize that I am giving too much of myself to people and places not aligned with my destiny, jeopardizing my wholeness and health.

Over the last few months, I have realized that many leaders, visionaries, and change agents also feel their lives are not aligned with their deepest desires or their most urgent needs. Many have shared that they feel burdened by responsibilities or exhausted by politics, competing priorities, and challenging people.

Truth: Collective exhaustion and misalignment take a toll on our souls. It distracts people – people like you and me who deeply care about the world – from creating the change we want and need to see in our communities. Weariness also prevents us from honoring and caring for spirits, bodies, and loved ones.

So, this week, take a step back and review your life to ensure you are directing your energy and efforts to the right causes, values, and systems.

Inspect your relationships. Examine your career, your calling, or your life’s work. Analyze your progress, proficiency, and potential to determine if your behavior aligns with your soul’s desires and goals.

Then, look in the mirror. Glance over your body. Reflect on your heart. Connect with your soul. Survey the rooms in your house. Then honestly (without judgment), ask yourself: is my life lying to me about what I care about, or am I lying about my life?

My elders used to say that ” talking and telling ain’t the same thing.” Translation: What you say is one thing. What you do is something else.

So, today, ask yourself: What is my mouth saying that I am NOT doing? How can I get more in alignment with my truth? What unconscious thoughts or fears are getting in my way? How are my goals and actions aligned with my values? Where can I be more courageous in my decision-making and bridge-building?

When your life reflects the core of who you are, you will thrive! You will feel invigorated, empowered, and fulfilled. And when you are happy, aligned, and rested, you will create the changes you want to see in the world.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we speak and work for the collective good while honoring our deepest individual needs. That way, our mouths will talk, and our lives with honestly tell.

Blessings!

SharRon

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

Success Is Never About Knowing More Stuff; Success Is About Knowing More of SELF

Some people spend their entire lives learning how to follow rules, how to hide their identities, and how to collude with the dominant culture to get ahead in the world.

They learn how to perform, please, and produce for others, but never learn how to pursue their own dreams.

They don’t learn what excites their souls, what ignites their hearts, or what delights their bodies.

They don’t learn how to resist peer pressure, how to reclaim their agency, or how to reposition their goals.

They never learn how to value their own history, how to respect their voice, or how to settle their spirit.

Honestly, some people never learn who they are or how to care for themselves. And so, they follow old templates, policies, and traditions that don’t align with their innate strengths, needs, or gifts.

They copy and comply with the status quo, never creating their own life or charting their own course.

They live decades, never interrogating their inherited beliefs or questioning why they feel so disconnected from themselves.

They live encumbered, weighed down by the expectations of the world, never tasting the sweetness of liberation.

The good news is, you are NOT most people.

You can choose to live differently just by asking yourself the following questions.

Questions…..

  • What do I know about myself – history, identities, and desires?
  • What lights me up?
  • What tickles my fancy?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • What truth do I need to admit to myself?
  • Why don’t I follow my heart or heed my own internal compass?
  • What will nourish my soul?
  • What are my talents and skills?
  • How has culture shaped my understanding of my place in the world?
  • What oppressive beliefs are undermining my ability to step into my full power?
  • How are my childhood beliefs informing my adulthood behavior?

Just a few questions can help alter the trajectory of your life.

What I know for sure is: Life gets easier when YOU accept the truth of who YOU are…the TRUTH Of SELF!

The TRUTH OF SELF is the key that unlocks all the doors of your life.

Do you know the TRUTH Of SELF?

If not, join me and other heart-centered visionaries for a six-month journey to learn more about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I Dare To BE ME is starting soon.

It’s time for you to know how valuable and talented you are so you can live your BEST LIFE!

See you soon!

 

 

The More We Know Community Show: Conversations Cultivating Change

Something magical happens when two Black women discuss the power of purpose.

Why?

We understand that following purpose is not easy in a culture that undervalues who we are.

In a culture that constantly bombards us with messages aimed at undermining our self-worth, self-value, and our sense of dignity, we know it takes courage and tenacity to believe in ourselves.

It takes a steadfast belief in our brilliance, sovereignty, and inner wisdom to defy that status quo and to confront the narrow, demeaning paradigms used to keep us informed, in debt, and in fear.

It takes deep self-trust, faith, optimism, and a community of other powerful women to hold space, to cheer us on, and to share their collective wisdom to break glass ceilings, challenge oppressive cultures, and disconnect from toxic religion.

Sylvia Bartley and I talk about these issues and more because we are committed to helping people, especially Black Women, fulfill their purpose, celebrate their gifts, and create legacies.

Please listen, share your thoughts, share the podcast with your friends, and write a review. We would love your support.

Thank you, Dr. Bartley, for offering such an inspirational gift to the world.

I SEE you, and I honor you.

Click here to listen.

A Few HUGS Can Help You Win!

HUGS will help you win!

When you are trying something new, you need plenty of HUGS!

Even though there is great power and comfort in a warm embrace, I am talking about different types of HUGS.

What are HUGS?

HUGS are essential ingredients for your success.

H.U.G.S. stands for:

H = You must understand your history.
When pursuing a goal or dream, it’s important to review your history because your past always leaves clues about your future. For example, understanding your cultural and social histories provides valuable insight into what shaped your beliefs and behaviors. When you understand your history, you can challenge inherited assumptions, so you can choose between who society wants you to be and who you want to become.

U =  You need to be undergirded.

Undergirding is not a word you hear a lot, but it means “to bolster, brace, strengthen and sustain.” It means possessing and accessing the internal and external infrastructures YOU need to build what you desire in your life. I will share more about the importance of infrastructure on Saturday during Soar 2022. You can register here.

G =  You need to give yourself grace.

When starting something new, you must give yourself the grace to learn and experiment with new skills, abilities, and perspectives. You must allow space for learning, relearning, and unlearning without judging yourself. Remember, everything in life is a big experiment that gives you the outcomes you want OR the lesson you need. So, give yourself grace to experiment so you can gain the wisdom you need.

S = You need support.

Success is always a team sport. Sometimes you need advice, skills, and mentors to assist you. When you identify the types of support you need, you can enlist and invest in the training, people, and resources you need to SOAR.

So, as you are considering your 2022 goals, think about giving yourself lots of H.U.G.S. because hugs have a way of providing the unique leverage, energy, and perspectives you need to:

  1. Ask yourself life-enhancing questions
  2. Awaken your buried gifts
  3. Attuned to your inner knowing
  4. Accept the highs of success without arrogance and the lows of growth without shame
  5. Allow people to help you without judging yourself
  6. Accomplish goals that are meaningful to you

If you’re interested in learning more about the power of hugs, I invite you to join me this Saturday for SOAR 2022.  Click here.

In the comfort of your home, you can gather with other heart-centered, values-driven people to talk about how you can achieve meaningful goals with joy and ease.