A couple of days ago, I posed this question to my coaching community.
What do you do to cope when your soul KNOWS that you are not fulfilling your dreams, pursuing your divine call, or living up to your potential?
One person said: “Every day, I come home and drink a bottle of wine because I know I am settling in my career. My manager is crazy, and I know I should leave the job, but I have invested 25 years at the company, and I only need a few more years to get my full benefits. I hate it but am stuck.”
The second person said: “When I come home, I smoke weed. I want to leave my job, but my family relies on me for money; they need my income. I am the only financially responsible person in my family, and I don’t want to end up like my siblings….broke.”
The third person said: “When I feel sad, I make waffles, and I put lots of syrup on them, and the sweetness helps me feel better.”
The fourth person said: “When I feel upset, I sing, dance, and worship and try to connect with God. Praise makes me feel better.”
The last person said: “I am scared, and I always worry that time will run out before I ever get to really enjoy my life. I fear I will die before I see my dreams come true.”
After everyone courageously shared, it became apparent that everybody was suffering because they were not living the life they wanted or hoped to live. They were coping, sleep walking, compromising, or just surviving, but no one was fully enjoying their lives.
Honestly, their experiences resonated with me because there have been many times in my life when I was merely existing, not boldly living. I was often weary, sad, and totally disconnected from my higher self throughout my twenties and early thirties.
Have you ever felt that way?
What I know for sure …. There is nothing that can assuage the painful feelings of self-doubt, desperation, and demoralization.
No amount of wine can lift the heaviness of feeling like you are settling for crumbs or selling your soul.
No amount of weed can get you high enough to silence the inner demons that try to convince you that you are unwanted, unworthy, and unwelcomed.
Not even the tastiest waffles can remove the bitter taste of regret, resentment, and resignation that results from not honoring your God-given gifts or following your unique path.
And even though I believe in worship, I know that the euphoria of praise is not enough to radically change your life if you won’t take courageous action toward your dreams.
Finally, I can testify that worrying is futile. Worrying fixes nothing! All that worry does is make you feel exhausted, disempowered, and hopeless.
What I have learned in my sometimes painful, zigzagging life journey is that ONLY addressing your unspoken wounds, admitting your unacknowledged dreams, and owning your unmet needs will help you and heal you.
That’s the truth. Honesty is the only antidote to healing, emotional health, and hope.
Let’s be candid….some people reading this message will judge these courageous women because it’s easy to criticize and condemn people when they are honest about the ways they manage their spiritual and emotional pain.
But what is more difficult is looking in the mirror and honestly assessing how you are quieting your fears, silencing your doubts, delaying your dreams, and numbing your discontent.
Granted, it might not be wine, weed, and waffles that soothe you, but it is something that quiets those voices that admonish you to try harder, live bolder, and strive further.
Or, it might not even be worry, worship, and work that anesthetizes your feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, or despair. But it is something that helps you endure your feelings of abandonment, marginalization, and desperation.
But trust me, whatever helps you manage and endure your toxic feelings, especially your feelings of mediocrity and misery, prevents you from living a fulfilling life full of joy, deep peace, or true meaning.
So, as 2021 comes to a close, I encourage you to think critically about your life. I urge you to dream again and imagine what genuine connection, meaningful work, and unspeakable joy could feel like in your life. I beg you to look within and search your heart so you can remember how incredibly gifted, how needed, and deeply loved you are.
My friend, you don’t have to just cope with your painful feelings, because you have the power to change whatever needs to be changed in your life, so you can have peace, joy, and hope.
Remember, you are powerful, and you have what it takes to recreate and recalibrate your life.
All you need to do is remember, reclaim, and revive your ability to SOAR!
Wine, weed, and waffles!
I have not tried to ease my emotional suffering with any of those. But I have been guilty of coping with my pain by drowning myself in work, engaging in empty “wishing,” and jeopardizing my health with endless worry. Sometimes I still struggle because I am always a work in progress, and you probably are too. Am I right?
Please let me know your thoughts.
I hope to work with you soon.
Never forget….it’s time for you to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER and take your rightful place in the world so you can experience a new level of life, joy, prosperity, and belonging.