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Tag: strong black woman

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

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Acts Of Courage Come From HOPE

Happy March!

This month marks the beginning of Spring, which always signals a change in seasons, longer days, fun vacations, and exciting transformations. To me, all of those changes signal new HOPE!

And with HOPE comes a call to activate courage, because hope without courage changes nothing. But when hope is partnered with courage, lives change, policies change, businesses change, relationships change, and our paradigms change.

But just a word of caution — many people will not appreciate or welcome your acts of courage.

TRUTH: People who have done nothing significant or daring in their own lives will never understand what you are trying to do. And most of all, they won’t appreciate the cost of your courage.

 NEVER!

They will never understand your struggles, losses, stresses, or loneliness.

They will never appreciate your priorities, sacrifices, or your evolution.

They will never appreciate the risks you take or the rejection you endure.

So, as you enter a new month of unlimited possibilities and fresh revelations, guard your heart while you pursue your goals and dreams.

Prioritize your truth, desires, and vision.

Don’t feel the need to explain your decisions or justify your choices.

Don’t feel the need to announce your new path, perspective, or person.

Walk boldly and bravely into a higher dimension of destiny and fulfillment, knowing you are fully equipped to create and enjoy your dream life.

Blessings!

SharRon

Don’t Rush Into A Resolution

Even though nothing is magical about the first of the year, I know the first few weeks of 2023 will bring many transformations–thoughtful endings, a few abrupt exits, many renewed commitments, and some energizing fresh starts.

So, consider what will move you closer to your dreams and desires as you make resolutions or intentions.

I have provided a few prompts to help you.

  • How do I want to feel?
  • What will support me in this new season of my life?
  • How do I know what I want?
  • How do I change?
  • What could fill me up?
  • What could drain me?
  • How do I move from my current situation to what I deeply desire?
  • What step will be the least disruptive to my family?
  • How do I clarify why I am moving in a different direction?
  • What do I do with fear?
  • How do I know if I have the proper support for this big goal?
  • What if I don’t have a concrete plan to move forward?
  • How do I know if my contingency plan is solid enough?
  • How can I get better?
  • Who can mentor me?
  • What will help me grow?
  • What risks do I need to take?
  • How can I ensure I am not over-extended?
  • What boundaries do I need to create or reconsider?
  • How can I create more harmony in my life?

All these are significant questions and will help you discern what feels right to you for this specific season in your life.

REMINDER: You don’t need to rush into resolutions.

You only need to trust yourself to choose and to keep choosing what you need and desire to create the life and lifestyle you crave.

 

Go Home!

It is easy to lose your way in a world that tries to convince you to live outside of your own skin, to mistrust your own wisdom, and to deny your own purpose.

But what if you went home to yourself?

What if you courageously went back home to yourself, armed with deep-seated truth, soul-nourishing love, and a commitment to live beyond the narratives imposed on you?

What if you traveled back home to yourself, releasing the historical lies that were manufactured to spiritually and mentally imprison you?

What if you journeyed back home to your essence, knowing that your Creator was with you, in you, and ahead of you – leading the way?

What if you stepped back into your divine identity, unencumbered by traditions, unbothered by cultural norms, unashamed of your past, and unbossed by oppressive ideologies.

What if you anchored yourself in your own definitions, honored your own dreams, and believed in your own destiny?

What if?

What I know for sure is that going home to yourself is the place where you can bask in your own love, enjoy your deepest liberation, and shine your brightest light.

“Home” is the place and space where you DARE to believe, DARE to try, and DARE to SOAR despite anything you have been taught and told.

In 2023, go home and enjoy the power, brilliance, and beauty of YOU!

And, if you need support on your journey back home to yourself, it would be an honor to walk beside you holding up a mirror so you can see yourself through the lens of love.

Blessings!

SharRon

Now What?

Last week I delivered a new keynote presentation to a group of high-performing, heart-centered folks over the age of 45. I prepared a specific speech for the audience, but the night before my presentation, my spirit told me to change the topic, and I did. And without notes or slides, I gave a presentation called NOW WHAT!

To me, NOW WHAT is an inquiry of unlimited potential because it challenges you to ask yourself honest questions about your deep-seated needs, dreams, and goals, especially after you reach midlife…a time in our lives that I call prime-time.

And the good news is…by the time you reach  50, 60, or 70, you have learned enough about yourself to recalibrate and reimagine your life. You have learned enough to live on your own terms and make your own rules.

Just think about it.

Haven’t you experienced a lot of ups and downs in your health, career, and relationships? And haven’t those experiences given you a deeper insight into who you are and what you need?

Haven’t you experienced enough grief, loss, and heartbreak to appreciate the meaning of life, love, and intimacy?

But haven’t you also enjoyed enough fulfillment, love, and joy to really understand what makes your heart sing?

And now, don’t you have enough money, results, and evidence to confirm your purpose, expertise, talents, abilities, and intuition?

If you are honest, over the last 40 years, you have gained an incredible amount of wisdom, clarity, and courage to do what you desire to do. And if you haven’t lived 40 years, the global pandemic has taught you new lessons about yourself and has given you many fresh revelations to consider.

So, the question is, NOW WHAT? Now that you know what’s real, right, beneficial, and fulfilling for this specific season in your life, what do you do now?

That question is a tough question, and it applies to all of us. And that’s why I believe my speech …. NOW WHAT ….. resonated because so many people realize that life is a beautiful, messy journey of learning, unlearning, relearning, and returning to what aligns with their heart and soul.

Based on the positive response to my presentation, I am holding a special NOW WHAT Retreat on November 18 and 19th to discuss how to address the NOW WHAT question in your own life. Click here to register.

Here’s the truth: Midlife is an incredible period in our lives; it’s a privilege because so many people never make it to 40, 50, 60, or 70. Not to sound morbid, but some people die before they ever experience and enjoy a fulfilling life because they limit themselves to only doing what they were taught, told, or felt obligated to do. Unfortunately, they settled or ignored their own happiness.

But thankfully, you can create a life that honors your deepest desires and your biggest dreams. You can make choices and take steps toward more happiness, joy, and ease. You don’t have the leave the world full of regrets because you can live a satisfying, exuberant, and soul-enriching life.

I am excited about what’s to come for you, and I would love for you to join me and other truth-seekers for the NOW WHAT Retreat. Click here to register.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

What 3 Weeks Of COVID Taught Me

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog, but unfortunately, I had Covid. For over three weeks, I tested positive, and honestly, I still have not recovered. I am still experiencing extreme fatigue, occasional migraines, sporadic dizziness, and mild hair loss. But through it all, I am thankful. I am alive, and I have a few lessons to share, and I hope the lessons resonate with you, too.

Lesson 1: COVID reminds me that invisible things can be deadly.

I know that’s not a new revelation, but we need to talk about it. Why? Because there may be some invisible things in your life that are causing death, too. Invisible things like feelings of doubt, fear, resentment, unforgiveness, jealousy, pride, superiority, and arrogance….just to name a few.

Do any of those feelings resonate with you?

From racism to sexism, from toxic greed to abject poverty, from arrogance to ignorance, from individualism to tribalism…..some invisible things also create narratives, systems, policies, and structures that cause irreparable harm to our culture and our environment.

They cause death….. death of your dreams, death of meaningful relationships, death of unity, death of confidence, death of hope, death of our environment, death of trust, death of dignity, death of compassion, death of creativity, etc.

And just like COVID, invisible things are often transmitted into our hearts and minds without our awareness, influencing how we treat people and our planet.

That’s why I am committed to becoming more intentional about identifying and uprooting the invisible things in my life that may negatively affect how I treat myself and others.

Here are a few questions I am asking myself that might also help you.

  • What invisible things could limit my joy, affect my emotional health, and undermine my happiness?
  • What invisible things tempt me to devalue and invisibilize people in my life?
  • What invisible things are seeping into my leadership style, causing me to perpetuate oppressive systems, discount people facing complex realities, or instill shame in others who live differently than I do?

Since I am committed to being a purpose-divine, value-centered, and dignity-affirming human, I am closely interrogating how I navigate in the world to ensure that I share power, generously share space, listen to other marginalized voices, and celebrate the diversity of God. In essence, I don’t want to cause the death of anything! I want to be a source of light, love, and liberation, and I bet you do too.

Lesson 2: I continue to tether my identity to my productivity.

Honestly, this revelation surprised me because, for decades, I have been doing deep healing work around self-love, self-acceptance, and self-prioritization. I have been intentionally decolonizing my thinking, dismantling internalized cultural norms, and disowning oppressive programming to unravel my sense of worthiness from my work.

But even though I have made significant strides around my worthiness, I realized I still have more work to do. As a result, I am committed to becoming more discerning about my feelings and more watchful about my behavior, so I don’t prioritize “doing-ness” over “being-ness.” I have also added more emphasis on “beingness” in my coaching programs because worshiping productivity only leads to burnout, anger, frustration, constant comparison, and posturing. And after two years of COVID, civil unrest, and ongoing collective grief, I am NOT interested in participating and perpetuating any toxic beliefs that, according to Beyonce, will break my soul or break the souls of others.

So, if you plan to join the next cohort of I Dare To Be Me that starts in late September, be ready to talk more about loving yourself and be ready to discuss how our society has elevated external production, public validation, and organizational approval over your personal sanity, safety, and well-being. Something to really think about, right?

Here are a few questions I am sitting with that I hope may also support you.

  • How can I stop squandering my energy, trying to prove my relevance to others, and use that energy to deeply love myself?
  • How is pursuing applause, accolades, and approval serving my highest good and contributing to my emotional well-being?
  • How are ladder-climbing, status-seeking, and promotion-chasing limiting my time and space to consistently honor myself and cherish my loved ones?

Please sit with these questions. And if you are willing, send me a message and let me know your thoughts because I would love to hear from you.

I look forward to sharing more revelations with you next week, and I also look forward to sharing a few thoughts in our private community podcast.

But in the meantime, please take care of yourself this week and stay healthy. Even though the media is not talking much about COVID, COVID is still killing people and making others extremely ill.

And if we are not following me on IG, please do. Here is a link to my most recent reels about self-love and self-agency. Click here. I hope the reels help you SEE just how amazing and powerful you are.

Thank you for letting me share my heart and thoughts with you.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

You Belong To You

I BELONG TO ME!

When I was a little girl, my elders always said, “Always keep the best of you for yourself.”

It took me years to understand what that adage meant. But over the years, I realized it meant holding on to your dreams, never compromising your integrity, being honest even when lying was easy, and taking care of my spirit. It meant doing everything that I was NOT doing, and my quality of life showed the toxic effects of self-abandonment.

After some soul searching, I realized I was giving the best of me away to be accepted. Of course, I was not consciously betraying myself. But every time I didn’t live my truth, reinforce my boundaries, make time for my dreams, or collude with oppressive narratives, I took a chunk out of my own soul. Sadly, I had to admit that I was indeed giving the best of myself to others, and I was exhausted and depressed.

​My friend, what if you are giving the best of yourself away? Your best years? Your prime time? Your dreams? Your vision? What if you are sacrificing your needs to fulfill societal expectations, family obligations, or meet unreasonable job demands?

The truth is, if you are giving yourself away, you can take your power back. You can make life-affirming, soul-nourishing choices that honor your humanity and dignity.

You Don’t have to believe what you have been told or taught!

You don’t need to live a life full of “shoulds,” “supposed to,” “can’t,” “they won’t let me,” “someday,” “they,” and “you better not.”  You don’t have to accept a life where you feel trapped, frustrated, and coerced to follow rules that don’t align with your heart.  You don’t have to deny and delay your dreams to please people and to win friends and favors.

You don’t have to live in fear. You don’t have to rescue everybody. You don’t have to swallow your dignity or collude with a patriarchal culture to survive.  YOU DON’T need to destroy YOU to be devoted to THEM!

You can push back because YOU BELONG to YOU!

When you accept your power, YOU and the entire world benefit from your contribution, wisdom, and love. That’s why I created a free 3-day private podcast to help you reclaim your agency and sanity.

You BELONG TO YOU!

Alice Walker: “People give up their power by thinking they don’t have any.”

You have power, and it’s time to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

Click here for the link.

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

Success Is Never About Knowing More Stuff; Success Is About Knowing More of SELF

Some people spend their entire lives learning how to follow rules, how to hide their identities, and how to collude with the dominant culture to get ahead in the world.

They learn how to perform, please, and produce for others, but never learn how to pursue their own dreams.

They don’t learn what excites their souls, what ignites their hearts, or what delights their bodies.

They don’t learn how to resist peer pressure, how to reclaim their agency, or how to reposition their goals.

They never learn how to value their own history, how to respect their voice, or how to settle their spirit.

Honestly, some people never learn who they are or how to care for themselves. And so, they follow old templates, policies, and traditions that don’t align with their innate strengths, needs, or gifts.

They copy and comply with the status quo, never creating their own life or charting their own course.

They live decades, never interrogating their inherited beliefs or questioning why they feel so disconnected from themselves.

They live encumbered, weighed down by the expectations of the world, never tasting the sweetness of liberation.

The good news is, you are NOT most people.

You can choose to live differently just by asking yourself the following questions.

Questions…..

  • What do I know about myself – history, identities, and desires?
  • What lights me up?
  • What tickles my fancy?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • What truth do I need to admit to myself?
  • Why don’t I follow my heart or heed my own internal compass?
  • What will nourish my soul?
  • What are my talents and skills?
  • How has culture shaped my understanding of my place in the world?
  • What oppressive beliefs are undermining my ability to step into my full power?
  • How are my childhood beliefs informing my adulthood behavior?

Just a few questions can help alter the trajectory of your life.

What I know for sure is: Life gets easier when YOU accept the truth of who YOU are…the TRUTH Of SELF!

The TRUTH OF SELF is the key that unlocks all the doors of your life.

Do you know the TRUTH Of SELF?

If not, join me and other heart-centered visionaries for a six-month journey to learn more about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I Dare To BE ME is starting soon.

It’s time for you to know how valuable and talented you are so you can live your BEST LIFE!

See you soon!

 

 

What Do You Feel Called To Do?

In a world that is reeling from so much pain, grief, and suffering, staying emotionally well and feeling safe are not easy feats. It takes discipline and intention to stay whole and joyful these days.

I know I haven’t shared a newsletter in a few weeks or engaged much on social media. And you know what? I missed sharing my thoughts with you and receiving your responses.

The good news is …. I have been speaking a lot and conducting sister circles for Black History Month and Women’s Month. It’s been an exhilarating time.

Yet, as the world celebrates both months, I find myself questioning if I am doing MY work, not just good work, MY work.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy celebrating and honoring the contributions of Black Americans and women. The well-deserved recognition is affirming and long overdue.

But honestly, as a Black woman, both months create rumblings in my soul because celebrating brave pioneers and trailblazers makes me wonder if I am truly living my life to the fullest. It makes me wonder if I am being as courageous as I need to be to create a legacy. It makes me examine if I am fearlessly living and embodying my truth. (I don’t compare my life with others; I question if I am living out loud and in alignment with my divine call.)

What I know for sure…. I am not alone. 

Many people are also trying to recover and remember the real truth of who they are. You know….those deeply-rooted truths that our souls and hearts know, but our minds can’t seem to name, describe, and process yet.

After speaking to thousands of people, I realize many people are delving deep into their souls, trying to excavate the truth or awaken to the truths that have been buried to accommodate the masses.

Many people are shoveling through the “shoulds” trying to find meaning and bring balance to their lives.

Others are disconnecting from reality because the prospect of “truth” somehow contradicts what they need to assuage their fears, justify their behavior, or reclaim their sovereignty.

That’s why it is critical that we consistently ask ourselves… what am I called to do NOW? Now! What’s the truth for me today? What do I want to leave behind to help others on this journey called life?

Yes, you had plans and goals, but do those plans still resonate with who we are NOW and who you feel destined to become?

So, as you are reading this message….. What do you feel called to do? What will your legacy be? What will you gift to the next generation?

Whatever it is, I am sure that what you are being called to do is beyond the societal SHOULDs that are stopping you from being fully alive, spiritually awake, and authentically YOU!

The SHOULDS are probably undermining your legacy.

To me, legacy means providing generational gifts (traditions, thoughts, money, experiences, knowledge, beliefs) that prepare people for greatness. It means ensuring that our loved ones are not starting from ground zero again.

That’s what I am thinking about, and I would love for us to think about that together because collective wisdom is powerful. Joining hearts and heads with diverse people allows us to come together and to get closer to the truth of who we are. And then, we can build our individual and collective legacies to support generations to come.

If you feel called to talk about SHOULDS and how they affect your ability to build a legacy, join me on Thursday, March 24th via Zoom at 8 pm EST. It’s free.

Let’s gather together and share our thoughts. Here’s the link to register.

Hope to see you there!

SharRon