Tag: strong black woman

Now What?

Last week I delivered a new keynote presentation to a group of high-performing, heart-centered folks over the age of 45. I prepared a specific speech for the audience, but the night before my presentation, my spirit told me to change the topic, and I did. And without notes or slides, I gave a presentation called NOW WHAT!

To me, NOW WHAT is an inquiry of unlimited potential because it challenges you to ask yourself honest questions about your deep-seated needs, dreams, and goals, especially after you reach midlife…a time in our lives that I call prime-time.

And the good news is…by the time you reach  50, 60, or 70, you have learned enough about yourself to recalibrate and reimagine your life. You have learned enough to live on your own terms and make your own rules.

Just think about it.

Haven’t you experienced a lot of ups and downs in your health, career, and relationships? And haven’t those experiences given you a deeper insight into who you are and what you need?

Haven’t you experienced enough grief, loss, and heartbreak to appreciate the meaning of life, love, and intimacy?

But haven’t you also enjoyed enough fulfillment, love, and joy to really understand what makes your heart sing?

And now, don’t you have enough money, results, and evidence to confirm your purpose, expertise, talents, abilities, and intuition?

If you are honest, over the last 40 years, you have gained an incredible amount of wisdom, clarity, and courage to do what you desire to do. And if you haven’t lived 40 years, the global pandemic has taught you new lessons about yourself and has given you many fresh revelations to consider.

So, the question is, NOW WHAT? Now that you know what’s real, right, beneficial, and fulfilling for this specific season in your life, what do you do now?

That question is a tough question, and it applies to all of us. And that’s why I believe my speech …. NOW WHAT ….. resonated because so many people realize that life is a beautiful, messy journey of learning, unlearning, relearning, and returning to what aligns with their heart and soul.

Based on the positive response to my presentation, I am holding a special NOW WHAT Retreat on November 18 and 19th to discuss how to address the NOW WHAT question in your own life. Click here to register.

Here’s the truth: Midlife is an incredible period in our lives; it’s a privilege because so many people never make it to 40, 50, 60, or 70. Not to sound morbid, but some people die before they ever experience and enjoy a fulfilling life because they limit themselves to only doing what they were taught, told, or felt obligated to do. Unfortunately, they settled or ignored their own happiness.

But thankfully, you can create a life that honors your deepest desires and your biggest dreams. You can make choices and take steps toward more happiness, joy, and ease. You don’t have the leave the world full of regrets because you can live a satisfying, exuberant, and soul-enriching life.

I am excited about what’s to come for you, and I would love for you to join me and other truth-seekers for the NOW WHAT Retreat. Click here to register.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

What 3 Weeks Of COVID Taught Me

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog, but unfortunately, I had Covid. For over three weeks, I tested positive, and honestly, I still have not recovered. I am still experiencing extreme fatigue, occasional migraines, sporadic dizziness, and mild hair loss. But through it all, I am thankful. I am alive, and I have a few lessons to share, and I hope the lessons resonate with you, too.

Lesson 1: COVID reminds me that invisible things can be deadly.

I know that’s not a new revelation, but we need to talk about it. Why? Because there may be some invisible things in your life that are causing death, too. Invisible things like feelings of doubt, fear, resentment, unforgiveness, jealousy, pride, superiority, and arrogance….just to name a few.

Do any of those feelings resonate with you?

From racism to sexism, from toxic greed to abject poverty, from arrogance to ignorance, from individualism to tribalism…..some invisible things also create narratives, systems, policies, and structures that cause irreparable harm to our culture and our environment.

They cause death….. death of your dreams, death of meaningful relationships, death of unity, death of confidence, death of hope, death of our environment, death of trust, death of dignity, death of compassion, death of creativity, etc.

And just like COVID, invisible things are often transmitted into our hearts and minds without our awareness, influencing how we treat people and our planet.

That’s why I am committed to becoming more intentional about identifying and uprooting the invisible things in my life that may negatively affect how I treat myself and others.

Here are a few questions I am asking myself that might also help you.

  • What invisible things could limit my joy, affect my emotional health, and undermine my happiness?
  • What invisible things tempt me to devalue and invisibilize people in my life?
  • What invisible things are seeping into my leadership style, causing me to perpetuate oppressive systems, discount people facing complex realities, or instill shame in others who live differently than I do?

Since I am committed to being a purpose-divine, value-centered, and dignity-affirming human, I am closely interrogating how I navigate in the world to ensure that I share power, generously share space, listen to other marginalized voices, and celebrate the diversity of God. In essence, I don’t want to cause the death of anything! I want to be a source of light, love, and liberation, and I bet you do too.

Lesson 2: I continue to tether my identity to my productivity.

Honestly, this revelation surprised me because, for decades, I have been doing deep healing work around self-love, self-acceptance, and self-prioritization. I have been intentionally decolonizing my thinking, dismantling internalized cultural norms, and disowning oppressive programming to unravel my sense of worthiness from my work.

But even though I have made significant strides around my worthiness, I realized I still have more work to do. As a result, I am committed to becoming more discerning about my feelings and more watchful about my behavior, so I don’t prioritize “doing-ness” over “being-ness.” I have also added more emphasis on “beingness” in my coaching programs because worshiping productivity only leads to burnout, anger, frustration, constant comparison, and posturing. And after two years of COVID, civil unrest, and ongoing collective grief, I am NOT interested in participating and perpetuating any toxic beliefs that, according to Beyonce, will break my soul or break the souls of others.

So, if you plan to join the next cohort of I Dare To Be Me that starts in late September, be ready to talk more about loving yourself and be ready to discuss how our society has elevated external production, public validation, and organizational approval over your personal sanity, safety, and well-being. Something to really think about, right?

Here are a few questions I am sitting with that I hope may also support you.

  • How can I stop squandering my energy, trying to prove my relevance to others, and use that energy to deeply love myself?
  • How is pursuing applause, accolades, and approval serving my highest good and contributing to my emotional well-being?
  • How are ladder-climbing, status-seeking, and promotion-chasing limiting my time and space to consistently honor myself and cherish my loved ones?

Please sit with these questions. And if you are willing, send me a message and let me know your thoughts because I would love to hear from you.

I look forward to sharing more revelations with you next week, and I also look forward to sharing a few thoughts in our private community podcast.

But in the meantime, please take care of yourself this week and stay healthy. Even though the media is not talking much about COVID, COVID is still killing people and making others extremely ill.

And if we are not following me on IG, please do. Here is a link to my most recent reels about self-love and self-agency. Click here. I hope the reels help you SEE just how amazing and powerful you are.

Thank you for letting me share my heart and thoughts with you.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

You Belong To You

I BELONG TO ME!

When I was a little girl, my elders always said, “Always keep the best of you for yourself.”

It took me years to understand what that adage meant. But over the years, I realized it meant holding on to your dreams, never compromising your integrity, being honest even when lying was easy, and taking care of my spirit. It meant doing everything that I was NOT doing, and my quality of life showed the toxic effects of self-abandonment.

After some soul searching, I realized I was giving the best of me away to be accepted. Of course, I was not consciously betraying myself. But every time I didn’t live my truth, reinforce my boundaries, make time for my dreams, or collude with oppressive narratives, I took a chunk out of my own soul. Sadly, I had to admit that I was indeed giving the best of myself to others, and I was exhausted and depressed.

​My friend, what if you are giving the best of yourself away? Your best years? Your prime time? Your dreams? Your vision? What if you are sacrificing your needs to fulfill societal expectations, family obligations, or meet unreasonable job demands?

The truth is, if you are giving yourself away, you can take your power back. You can make life-affirming, soul-nourishing choices that honor your humanity and dignity.

You Don’t have to believe what you have been told or taught!

You don’t need to live a life full of “shoulds,” “supposed to,” “can’t,” “they won’t let me,” “someday,” “they,” and “you better not.”  You don’t have to accept a life where you feel trapped, frustrated, and coerced to follow rules that don’t align with your heart.  You don’t have to deny and delay your dreams to please people and to win friends and favors.

You don’t have to live in fear. You don’t have to rescue everybody. You don’t have to swallow your dignity or collude with a patriarchal culture to survive.  YOU DON’T need to destroy YOU to be devoted to THEM!

You can push back because YOU BELONG to YOU!

When you accept your power, YOU and the entire world benefit from your contribution, wisdom, and love. That’s why I created a free 3-day private podcast to help you reclaim your agency and sanity.

You BELONG TO YOU!

Alice Walker: “People give up their power by thinking they don’t have any.”

You have power, and it’s time to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

Click here for the link.

2 Things That Give You Inner Strength

When you are experiencing challenges in your life, you don’t need pity, you need the TRUTH.

You need the Truth about who you are and whose you are.

You need the Truth about your ability, your capacity, and your tenacity.

You need the Truth about the power of prayer, the power of possibility, and the power of peace.

You need the Truth about who God is, what God can do, and what God says.

You don’t need people to commiserate with you. You need people to celebrate the promises of God with you!!

Believe the TRUTH – as the elders used to say- put your weight on. Lean. Step. Trust. Move.

Then, you need to reflect on your own testimonies because God has already brought you out of some challenging situations. God has already blown your mind with indescribable miracles. God has already made a way out of no way.

So, reclaim your testimonies. You have your references, your own evidence, your own data, and your own experiences.

You have proof of divine providence!

You may have lost some altitude, but you will rise again if you keep moving.

Whatever you are facing is only a temporary test. It’s only a training ground to cultivate growth and resilience.

Yes, it’s tough right now, but don’t give up or give in.

My friend, reclaim the TRUTH and remember your own testimonies.

Reclaim everything that you abandoned to fit into cultures, systems, and environments that squashed your soul!

Remember how you and your ancestors survived and thrived, even in adverse situations.

Don’t forget that you are royalty and that you WILL rise!

Why?

Because the best is yet to come!

Dare To Soar Higher!

Blessings,

SharRon

Success Is Never About Knowing More Stuff; Success Is About Knowing More of SELF

Some people spend their entire lives learning how to follow rules, how to hide their identities, and how to collude with the dominant culture to get ahead in the world.

They learn how to perform, please, and produce for others, but never learn how to pursue their own dreams.

They don’t learn what excites their souls, what ignites their hearts, or what delights their bodies.

They don’t learn how to resist peer pressure, how to reclaim their agency, or how to reposition their goals.

They never learn how to value their own history, how to respect their voice, or how to settle their spirit.

Honestly, some people never learn who they are or how to care for themselves. And so, they follow old templates, policies, and traditions that don’t align with their innate strengths, needs, or gifts.

They copy and comply with the status quo, never creating their own life or charting their own course.

They live decades, never interrogating their inherited beliefs or questioning why they feel so disconnected from themselves.

They live encumbered, weighed down by the expectations of the world, never tasting the sweetness of liberation.

The good news is, you are NOT most people.

You can choose to live differently just by asking yourself the following questions.

Questions…..

  • What do I know about myself – history, identities, and desires?
  • What lights me up?
  • What tickles my fancy?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • What truth do I need to admit to myself?
  • Why don’t I follow my heart or heed my own internal compass?
  • What will nourish my soul?
  • What are my talents and skills?
  • How has culture shaped my understanding of my place in the world?
  • What oppressive beliefs are undermining my ability to step into my full power?
  • How are my childhood beliefs informing my adulthood behavior?

Just a few questions can help alter the trajectory of your life.

What I know for sure is: Life gets easier when YOU accept the truth of who YOU are…the TRUTH Of SELF!

The TRUTH OF SELF is the key that unlocks all the doors of your life.

Do you know the TRUTH Of SELF?

If not, join me and other heart-centered visionaries for a six-month journey to learn more about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I Dare To BE ME is starting soon.

It’s time for you to know how valuable and talented you are so you can live your BEST LIFE!

See you soon!

 

 

What Do You Feel Called To Do?

In a world that is reeling from so much pain, grief, and suffering, staying emotionally well and feeling safe are not easy feats. It takes discipline and intention to stay whole and joyful these days.

I know I haven’t shared a newsletter in a few weeks or engaged much on social media. And you know what? I missed sharing my thoughts with you and receiving your responses.

The good news is …. I have been speaking a lot and conducting sister circles for Black History Month and Women’s Month. It’s been an exhilarating time.

Yet, as the world celebrates both months, I find myself questioning if I am doing MY work, not just good work, MY work.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy celebrating and honoring the contributions of Black Americans and women. The well-deserved recognition is affirming and long overdue.

But honestly, as a Black woman, both months create rumblings in my soul because celebrating brave pioneers and trailblazers makes me wonder if I am truly living my life to the fullest. It makes me wonder if I am being as courageous as I need to be to create a legacy. It makes me examine if I am fearlessly living and embodying my truth. (I don’t compare my life with others; I question if I am living out loud and in alignment with my divine call.)

What I know for sure…. I am not alone. 

Many people are also trying to recover and remember the real truth of who they are. You know….those deeply-rooted truths that our souls and hearts know, but our minds can’t seem to name, describe, and process yet.

After speaking to thousands of people, I realize many people are delving deep into their souls, trying to excavate the truth or awaken to the truths that have been buried to accommodate the masses.

Many people are shoveling through the “shoulds” trying to find meaning and bring balance to their lives.

Others are disconnecting from reality because the prospect of “truth” somehow contradicts what they need to assuage their fears, justify their behavior, or reclaim their sovereignty.

That’s why it is critical that we consistently ask ourselves… what am I called to do NOW? Now! What’s the truth for me today? What do I want to leave behind to help others on this journey called life?

Yes, you had plans and goals, but do those plans still resonate with who we are NOW and who you feel destined to become?

So, as you are reading this message….. What do you feel called to do? What will your legacy be? What will you gift to the next generation?

Whatever it is, I am sure that what you are being called to do is beyond the societal SHOULDs that are stopping you from being fully alive, spiritually awake, and authentically YOU!

The SHOULDS are probably undermining your legacy.

To me, legacy means providing generational gifts (traditions, thoughts, money, experiences, knowledge, beliefs) that prepare people for greatness. It means ensuring that our loved ones are not starting from ground zero again.

That’s what I am thinking about, and I would love for us to think about that together because collective wisdom is powerful. Joining hearts and heads with diverse people allows us to come together and to get closer to the truth of who we are. And then, we can build our individual and collective legacies to support generations to come.

If you feel called to talk about SHOULDS and how they affect your ability to build a legacy, join me on Thursday, March 24th via Zoom at 8 pm EST. It’s free.

Let’s gather together and share our thoughts. Here’s the link to register.

Hope to see you there!

SharRon

The More We Know Community Show: Conversations Cultivating Change

Something magical happens when two Black women discuss the power of purpose.

Why?

We understand that following purpose is not easy in a culture that undervalues who we are.

In a culture that constantly bombards us with messages aimed at undermining our self-worth, self-value, and our sense of dignity, we know it takes courage and tenacity to believe in ourselves.

It takes a steadfast belief in our brilliance, sovereignty, and inner wisdom to defy that status quo and to confront the narrow, demeaning paradigms used to keep us informed, in debt, and in fear.

It takes deep self-trust, faith, optimism, and a community of other powerful women to hold space, to cheer us on, and to share their collective wisdom to break glass ceilings, challenge oppressive cultures, and disconnect from toxic religion.

Sylvia Bartley and I talk about these issues and more because we are committed to helping people, especially Black Women, fulfill their purpose, celebrate their gifts, and create legacies.

Please listen, share your thoughts, share the podcast with your friends, and write a review. We would love your support.

Thank you, Dr. Bartley, for offering such an inspirational gift to the world.

I SEE you, and I honor you.

Click here to listen.

A Few HUGS Can Help You Win!

HUGS will help you win!

When you are trying something new, you need plenty of HUGS!

Even though there is great power and comfort in a warm embrace, I am talking about different types of HUGS.

What are HUGS?

HUGS are essential ingredients for your success.

H.U.G.S. stands for:

H = You must understand your history.
When pursuing a goal or dream, it’s important to review your history because your past always leaves clues about your future. For example, understanding your cultural and social histories provides valuable insight into what shaped your beliefs and behaviors. When you understand your history, you can challenge inherited assumptions, so you can choose between who society wants you to be and who you want to become.

U =  You need to be undergirded.

Undergirding is not a word you hear a lot, but it means “to bolster, brace, strengthen and sustain.” It means possessing and accessing the internal and external infrastructures YOU need to build what you desire in your life. I will share more about the importance of infrastructure on Saturday during Soar 2022. You can register here.

G =  You need to give yourself grace.

When starting something new, you must give yourself the grace to learn and experiment with new skills, abilities, and perspectives. You must allow space for learning, relearning, and unlearning without judging yourself. Remember, everything in life is a big experiment that gives you the outcomes you want OR the lesson you need. So, give yourself grace to experiment so you can gain the wisdom you need.

S = You need support.

Success is always a team sport. Sometimes you need advice, skills, and mentors to assist you. When you identify the types of support you need, you can enlist and invest in the training, people, and resources you need to SOAR.

So, as you are considering your 2022 goals, think about giving yourself lots of H.U.G.S. because hugs have a way of providing the unique leverage, energy, and perspectives you need to:

  1. Ask yourself life-enhancing questions
  2. Awaken your buried gifts
  3. Attuned to your inner knowing
  4. Accept the highs of success without arrogance and the lows of growth without shame
  5. Allow people to help you without judging yourself
  6. Accomplish goals that are meaningful to you

If you’re interested in learning more about the power of hugs, I invite you to join me this Saturday for SOAR 2022.  Click here.

In the comfort of your home, you can gather with other heart-centered, values-driven people to talk about how you can achieve meaningful goals with joy and ease.

 

Hurray For New Beginnings!

It’s benediction time!

When you think of the word benediction, you probably think of religious rituals.

But benedictions are not only for religion; they are also expressions of appreciation and respect delivered at significant endings to signify the beginning of another sacred journey.

Benedictions are holy and cherished because they allow us to acknowledge all the pain and trials we have endured and the triumphs and successes we have enjoyed.

And as we reflect and review all we have experienced, we celebrate and offer praise. We open our hearts and minds with great anticipation, knowing that whatever is being birthed in us and through us will catapult us into a higher dimension of destiny.

A few days ago, I offered a few benedictions in my life. I offered prayers of gratitude and said a few goodbyes over several identities that served the old me. I thanked those identities for helping me navigate some tumultuous times in my life and honored the power, perspective, and promotions that those identities helped me achieve.

I also offered benedictions over a few relationships that had run their course so I could SOAR unencumbered by the weight of performing, proving, and people-pleasing.

I said some farewells to some outdated beliefs that I needed to retire because they no longer offered guidance, truth, or illumination.

I also gave some Holy Ghost sendoffs to some old wounds that kept me triggered, hypervigilant, and constantly agitated so that I could enjoy more peace.

Offering those benedictions was a powerful “spiritual shedding” that commemorated a rebirth, called for spiritual reclamation, and served as a sacred closure.

And now I feel more empowered to dare to soar higher, fortified by a new awareness, a fresh spiritual anointing, and a bolder inner advocate to make my dreams come true.

So this weekend, look at your life and identify what needs a benediction, a sacred closing.

Determine if your career, job, relationship, identity, belief, or faith tradition no longer serves you, and say goodbye for good.

By offering words of thanksgiving and sincere gratitude for what went right, what went wrong, and what didn’t go as planned, you can release the past and walk into your future EMPTY, waiting and willing to be filled and fulfilled with goodness, greatness, and grace.

The good news is, when you offer heartfelt benedictions, they don’t need to be deep or complicated.

You can say something like….Thank you for what you taught me, brought me, and gave me. Or……May the strength of God sustain me as I go forth with the lessons I gained, the wisdom I earned, and the power I reclaimed.

Whatever you say from your heart is enough because benedictions are deeply personal.

A few days ago, after I gave my benedictions, I was inspired to create a workshop to address the power of fresh beginnings.

This workshop, Creating A Path to More Freedom, Fulfillment & Flow with Ease, is definitely for you if you know you need to say goodbye to a few things but need help discerning what needs to be released so you can soar. Click here.

During the workshop, I will share seven key questions that will help you determine what needs a benediction so you can welcome all the life-nourishing opportunities that God has in store just for you!

Click here to register.

Remember, offer a benediction so you can walk through 2022 with great expectations of peace, joy, love, ease, and abundance.

Blessings,

SharRon

Liminal Space

Daring to soar higher is the willingness to go through the liminal spaces so you can taste the sweetness of liberation, fulfillment, and meaning.

And even though journeying through the liminal space is needed for your evolution, it can feel extremely destabilizing.

Why?

It’s a place and time for re-thinking, reimagining, rekindling, reckoning, and reassessing.

It’s a sacred passage —-

  •  Of deconstruction and reconstruction.
  •  Of disorientation and re-orientation.
  •  Of knowing and unknowing.
  •  Of learning and unlearning.
  •  Of reclaiming and releasing.
  •  Of gaining and giving

It’s a purposeful, pregnant, prophetic space of divine potential and enormous possibility.

It’s a journey to your promised land.

When you go through the luminal space, you will feel as if you are between and betwixt…. not here and not there.

So, let your inner compass guide you because you may not SEE your next best step; you may only be able to sense it. That’s why you must let the Spirit direct you.

If you bravely go through this space, you will evolve. You will know yourself beyond your resume, cultural conditioning, and embedded mandates.

Remember, your old identities, beliefs, and patterns will not serve you in this glorious space, so let them go!

Allow yourself to ascend to a higher dimension of destiny, knowing that you have been equipped to Soar!

So, here’s the question: what passageway must you enter/exit in order to live your fullest, most honest life?

What needs a benediction so you can embark on a new beginning?

If you want to explore these vital questions in a safe, courageous community, I Dare To Me is starting again soon.

In I Dare To Be Me, we welcome your ambition, brilliance, complexity, and “becoming.”

And most of all, we would love to have you join us.

Click here to learn more.

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