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Tag: strong black woman

Your Values are Personal, But They Are Not Private.

The other day, somebody mentioned that her values were important to her.

I said, “Really. What are your values.”

She shared them, and I was shocked. She said she valued diversity, inclusion, openness, and authenticity.

I was floored because she constantly made statements that were racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and elitist.

She constantly shared her opinion about who “exhibited leadership qualities” and who had gravitas.

She was quick to talk about “those people” and why something wasn’t fair to people who “really worked hard.”  Code: white entitlement.

Thankfully, I was on zoom call. I turned off my camera because I know my face showed that I was not only perplexed but incredulous. It was too comical to be angry.

I didn’t have the energy to engage her or discuss her thoughts, even though she did her best to get my feedback.

For my mental health, I no longer participate in conversations about DEIJ when I don’t feel like it or when there is limited ROI. I no longer sign up for emotional labor unless I feel called to it.

The truth is, our values are personal, but they should NOT be private. People close to you or people who work with you should be able to identify what you stand for and what matters to you.

In other words, you should live in such a way that everybody can see what guides and governs your life.

My elders should use to say, ” I should be able to know a few things by how you do a few things.” Hmmmm…..

So today, ask yourself how you are demonstrating, modeling, expressing, or supporting your values?

If you are not representing what you believe or what you support, what can you do to make your personal values come alive so that you are a change agent or a role model for what you espouse?

Just a thought!

What do you think?

I can’t wait to hear from you.

 

Blessings, SharRon

Being A “Mis-Fit” Is Your SuperPower For Success!

Most of my life I was called a misfit. Most of the groups I so desperately wanted to join rejected me, excluded me, or ridiculed me. They said that I was weird, but I wasn’t weird. I was just different, too different, to fit into groups that demanded blind conformity.

Thankfully,  I realized that my definition of “misfit” was not the same as theirs. To me, a “misfit” was a courageous person who refused to fit into places and with people who could not accept how God made them. So, I accepted I was a “mis-fit” because I realized that I was a circle who people wanted to fit in a square hole. I was a “mis-fit” because I was a person who demanded to live my own life without the permission or approval of others. I was a “mis-fit” because I refused to follow traditions that trapped me, norms that nullified me, doctrines that devalued me, or stereotypes that subjugated me. I was “mis-fit” because I refused to abandon my destiny, my vision, and my divine assignment. I was divinely different.

As a leader, creative, and visionary, I bet you have been called a “mis-fit” too. And how wonderful is that!

How brave of you to live on your own terms and not succumb to the status quo.

How audacious of YOU to not shrink your vision, silence your voice, and squash your dreams to fit into someone else’s version of reality.

How daring of you to lift your voice for others, love who you want to love, and live in a way that illuminates the darkest parts of the world?

How amazingly brave!

My friend, you are wondrous, Spirit-created, and God-inspired design. You were never made nor expected to be a clone, an imposter, or an actor who faded into the crowd. You were created to be different to make a difference —  to be the salt of the earth, to add value, and to accessorize the ordinary.

So, please do NOT fit in; stand out and stand up! The world needs you to walk in all of your uniqueness so that you can demonstrate the diversity, the creativity, and the divinity of a loving God.

(excerpt from Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

 

Let’s Start A Fight!

Today is a good day to start a fight!

No, I am not talking about violence, but I am talking about starting a fight in 3 critical areas.

First, this week, start a fight to be more of yourself.

Yes, be yourself, even if people try to pressure you to be who they want you to be. Resist conformity and accommodation. Stand strong even when individual and systemic pressures attempt to restrict, sway, or sabotage you. And remember to stay alert because sometimes the pressure to comply is so insidious that you may unconsciously succumb to beliefs that don’t align with your truth.

Remember, you have agency and inner wisdom. You can prevent subtle suggestions and harmful narratives from controlling your mind in a way that renders you a slave to public opinion or to the superficial status quo. You are just that powerful!

Secondly, fight against mediocrity.

In a world that pressures people to be average, it is easy to underperform or do just enough to get by. Doing the least possible can be appealing, especially when your brilliance intimidates some and confuses others.

But despite people misunderstanding you or challenging your perspective, strive for excellence and precision. Continue to do your best, even if people are not clapping for you or praising you. Do your best to make yourself proud. That alone will boost your self-confidence, and that’s something to fight for.

Finally, fight against being mean.

COVID has all of us a bit discouraged and anxious. Everywhere you look, people are frowning, frustrated, fearful, and acting foolish. People are stressed, exhausted, and physically overwhelmed.

But a kind word can be just the medicine that a stressed-out parent, healthcare provider, teacher, caregiver, or essential worker needs to make it through the day. Being cordial, grateful, and extending mercy could bring cheer to someone’s heart and provide the levity they need to endure another day. Remember, you are a thermostat, not a thermometer. You can establish and sustain a climate for positivity. You don’t need to settle for just registering the climate.

So this week, start a fight, a good fight.

And after you win your battles, extend a hand to someone else!

You can listen to the message by clicking here.

If you are seeking new ways to fight to be the highest version of yourself, “You Can Depend On You” is starting soon. Click here to learn more. 

Remember you don’t have to settle for a life you learned to live, you can create a life you love!

Blessings!

SharRon

Your Life Will Teach You Where To Go!

As a child, my elders told me that if you pay attention to your life, it will teach you what you need to know, where you need to grow, and where you need to go.

I never really thought much about that lesson, but over this last year, life has taught me many lessons about what I should be and should not be doing. If you are a big-hearted, socially aware person, you probably feel that life has taught you a lot during the last 18 months, too.

So this year, as I do every year around my birthday, I reflect on the critical lessons I learned during the twelve preceding months. It’s an understatement to say that this year the lessons were insightful and profound. Living amid a global pandemic, dealing with constant civil unrest, dealing with racial reckoning, and enduring an international quarantine encouraged me to reflect deeply about how I was living, loving, and leading.

So, during this week, I invite you to think about the critical lessons you learned in 2020, and what lessons you are learning today. I have provided a few prompts for you.

  • How did you learn to create more love, more peace, and more joy in your life amid the chaos?
  • What were the major lessons that you had to unlearn and relearn to reclaim harmony, restore relationships, and reimagine how you engage the world?
  • Where in your life are you marginalizing, minimizing, trivializing, and stigmatizing your own vision, your own goals, and your own desires?
  • Where in your life are you still tied to patterns and perspectives that are sabotaging your growth?
  • How can you better embrace your worthiness, commit to more self-care, and connect more profoundly with your loved ones?

The answers to these questions may require that you consciously reset your priorities, rethink your childhood, and create new environments so you can flourish and thrive. Your answers may even require you to take some risks and make new investments in yourself and others.

Even though a bit chaotic, this season offers enormous possibilities. And if you walk with courage, be resilient, and envision wholeness for yourself and others, you will launch into a new dimension of joy.

Wishing you well as you Dare To Soar HIGHER!

Blessings,

SharRon

*P.S. Sign up for my newsletter to get access to my private podcast. Click here.

If You Can’t Trust Yourself, Trust Your Track Record

As you start a new month, I have a hard question for you.

Have you ever wanted to go for a promotion or start a business but felt inadequate?

Have ever felt you were not qualified enough, did not have the right degree, and didn’t have the right connections to pursue your dreams?

I have. Early in my career, I would interview for job after job, but never land the promotions I desired and earned.

I grew really frustrated because I knew that the folks who landed the positions were not more skilled or educated than I was. Heck, I even trained some of them.

Of course, there were many factors working against me. I was a young, Black woman and the biopharmaceutical industry was not ready to embrace diversity, especially without a fight.

After being looked over and picked apart, I told my father that I was leaving corporate America. But I also admitted that I feared failing as an entrepreneur.

He said, “SharRon, if you can’t trust yourself, trust your track record.”

Whew.. that statement was the jolt I needed to help me remember all the successes that shaped my career. That one brief statement encouraged me to take a jog down memory lane and I realized I had shattered many glass ceilings, smashed a few paradigms, and kicked in numerous closets. Yes, I had a track record of success.

Why is it important to review your track record? 

As you pursue your purpose, you will be forced to take some risks. And when you do, it’s always helpful to have a few people to remind you of your mastery, abilities, and capacity to overcome obstacles. It’s also extremely wise to have a strong inner core, which I define as a group of people who can help you rise to the occasion and help you resist the spirit of fear. For me, my inner core included my father.

Over the weekend, take a close inventory of your friends and determine which friends have the traits and the mentality to be in your inner core. Use the MRS framework to help you identify which friends most align with your needs, dreams, and goals. And then make some needed adjustments so you can SOAR.

I have provided a quick overview of the MRS framework for you to review.

  • M = People with whom you enjoy Meaningful Mutuality
  • R = People who help you RISE, REST, RECOVER, and RESIST
  • S = People who are Spiritually aware, awakened, and live. 

We all need people who believe in us; our friendships are critical to our calling. That’s why, in “You Can Depend On You,” I dedicate an entire module to identifying and cultivating healthy connections. If you are going to become the highest version of yourself, gather and engage with people who can share their wisdom, time, and talent with you. Find a great core for your calling!

Remember, you can depend on yourself to foster relationships with helpful, faithful folks. Even if you made some poor selections in the past, as I did, you can still trust yourself to make positive “friend” choices today.

In my newest book, Deciding To Soar 2:Unwrapping Your Purpose, I dedicate 10 chapters on the topic of friendships. Be sure to order it today, and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

SharRon

 

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption:  All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope. 

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon