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Tag: Dare to Soar Higher

Success Is A Personal Thing!

Success is such a personal thing. Yes, it’s personal!

Success is what YOU want for your life, and you must CREATE it.

Now, it won’t be easy because sometimes, success requires you to tear down or strategically quit something you spent time, money, and energy making or cultivating.  And leaving something you invested in is hard, even when you know happiness and relief are right around the corner.

Sometimes, success also requires you to analyze and compare incomes with outcomes.  Or demand that you compare inputs to outputs. Or require you to make additions and subtractions. Success, however you define it, requires you to take inventory of your choices and make adjustments to advance.  Whew!

The truth is that creating something new or more satisfying is not easy; it’s a layered process that requires wisdom and a plan. And the plan has to be agile enough to allow pivots, pauses, and changes in perspective because the “success” journey is about self-discovery. You will learn more about your gifts, talents, and intuition with every new step you take toward your dreams.

So….despite the discomfort, when it is time to move, shift, and restructure parts of your life, you must take action. You must take small steps in the direction of your dreams and vision. If not, you will forfeit your ability to express your essence. And most of all, you will delay your own happiness and fulfillment. Yes, YOU!  Remember, you are in charge and responsible for creating the life you want to live.

Just for the record… Everyone will NOT be happy when you make changes to pursue your dream. Some folks will even gossip about you.

But trust me, the people who will have the most to say about your choices never really supported you, anyway. Not really!  Why? People deeply invested in your happiness encourage and support you when you take risks. Also, people who really know you realize when you are not happy or playing small and anticipate you making changes to enrich your life. That’s a fact!

So, as a new month starts and another year comes quickly to a close, look at your life. Evaluate your relationships. Assess your business. Examine your career. Think about how you treat your body, your most important asset.

And, then, change what no longer works for you so you can position yourself for your future.

Change whatever needs to be changed to align your body, mind, and soul so you can:

  • Produce more fruit in your career, business, & purpose.
  • Be more faithful to your goals, values, vision, and health.
  • Have more focus on the things that matter.
  • Love and spend time with friends and REAL supporters.
  • Create a deeply-connected family that provides unconditional acceptance and support.
  • Experience deeper fulfillment in ways that feel nourishing.
  • Stay fluid so you can change when your circumstances or needs change.
  • Deepen your faith so you have a higher and closer relationship to a Higher Power.
  • Strengthen your foundation so you can weather storms and “hold” success without faltering.

Remember, success is personal! It’s not just about achievement, accolades, positions, money, or status. Sometimes, success is about YOUR peace, rest, purpose, and deep-bellied laughter with loved ones.

If creating success on your own terms resonates, join me and other brave souls in 2024 for a few life-enriching, soul-nourishing events.

You’ll not only gain life-transforming strategies and profound insights to craft your own definition of success, but you’ll also leave with an unwavering determination to fulfill your soul’s deepest desires.

Click here to get on my mailing list.

In the meantime, keep making success personal, so you can live a life that makes YOUR heart sing.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

The Dare To Soar Higher Strategist

Bet On Yourself, Not A System!

Therapist: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

Me: What systems? How am I betting on them?

Tears still come to my eyes when I think of this painful conversation. I still feel sad when I remember struggling to prove myself in an unsupportive corporate environment.

For years, I did everything to demonstrate my competency, creativity, and proficiency. And I knew people saw my value because they consistently stole my work, ideas, and strategies. But despite being trusted to train and unofficially lead others, I was repeatedly told I wasn’t “ready” for leadership roles. In other words, I was good enough to “labor” but not lead.

After being overlooked for yet another leadership position, I emotionally crashed. And during one of my therapy sessions, my therapist — a powerful Black woman – asked me a critical question that changed my life: Why do you keep betting on the system more than you bet on yourself?

For years, I had been in therapy with white counselors (they accepted my health insurance) but had never been asked about the impact of systems on my well-being. Never! There were no conversations about bias, being excluded, being overlooked, being talked over, being dismissed, or being disrespected. Even though I shared many details of my work environment, I was never asked questions about systems, racism, sexism, or any other isms.

Thankfully, I finally found a Black therapist who deeply connected with me. Tenderly, she asked me questions that made me feel genuinely heard and understood. Because of her own experiences, she never questioned my experiences or realities. She didn’t ask for painful examples or embarrassing details that made me feel more ashamed. She didn’t pepper me with questions to devalue or discount the effects of ongoing corporate abuse. She KNEW!

During my sessions with her,  she gently explained how I unknowingly colluded with harmful historical systems and narratives that robbed me of my agency, health, and self-respect. And through her wisdom, love, and spiritually infused strategies, I started a powerful healing journey. I began to learn and unlearn messages that made me doubt my value, ability, and brilliance. Most importantly, I began to remember and believe in the power of MY story, identity, and ancestral wisdom.

The healing process was painful and layered, yet soul-nourishing. Gradually, I started regaining my confidence, joy, and self-respect. I regained my agency and began working differently and more courageously with colleagues and saboteurs.  I also began reimagining my future as a Black professional and realized I had enormous potential that didn’t need to be validated by corporations.

My life-changing experience with a therapist who understood oppression and the sting of microaggressions – which are NOT micro at all – was one reason I started creating safe places for other Black women and women of color. I wanted to provide loving sanctuaries where women could grieve without judgment and grow without fear. I wanted to create spaces where women felt honored, celebrated, and affirmed—places where women didn’t need to compete or spiritually exhaust themselves to be seen or witnessed.

The truth is, when I entered corporate America, I unknowingly bet on a system because I didn’t know any better. For the first 10 years of my career, I played by the written rules of success, not the unspoken paths.  Why? I was the first person in my family to work in corporate settings and didn’t know what it meant to bet on myself in corporate environments. Honestly, I just didn’t know how to navigate or advocate for myself; I wasn’t taught the political games.  In the early 1990s and even today, there were few mentors, sponsors, or allies willing to extend a hand to support people who looked like me.

If you feel you are betting on a system instead of seeing your brilliance, I would love to help. For over 25 years, I have worked with some amazing women and have helped them rethink, retool, and reimagine their careers in ways that honored their souls.

I am still in corporate America and doing work I enjoy. But because I see myself differently and fully – I see myself BEYOND the limitations of systems –  I have also been able to build a successful business, write books, coach executives, serve as a minister in a progressive congregation, and help some big-hearted people DARE TO SOAR HIGHER in every aspect of their lives.

Bet ON YOURSELF!

You have everything you need encoded and loaded in your DNA to create a soul-nourishing career inside and outside organizations.

BET ON YOURSELF!

You got this!

Blessings!

SharRon

Are You Watering Weeds?

Are you watering weeds and expecting flowers to bloom?

If my elders saw someone using their effort, energy, and enthusiasm in unproductive ways, they would say they were “watering weeds.”

“Watering weeds” may not be a common expression today, but it is a statement I am exploring more in my life and with my clients.

So this week, I posed the critical question to 3 coaching groups: Where are you watering weeds?

The answers the groups shared were complex, insightful, and vulnerable. So, I wanted to share some of their answers with you, hoping you can identify where you may be metaphorically watering weeds in your own life.

Which response most resonates with you?

  • Continuing to invest in a failing business or project.
  • Staying employed at a company despite not getting opportunities to grow, develop, or contribute.
  • Staying in a relationship with someone not ambitious, abusive, or toxic.
  • Staying connected to family members who drain, use, or criticize you for evolving.
  • Staying in a faith tradition that demonizes you because of who you are and who you love.
  • Dwelling on negative thoughts and emotions, such as self-criticism, failure, and regret.
  • Spending time with people who constantly complain or criticize others.
  • Investing in relationships where there is no reciprocity or mutuality.
  • Living in places that are financially draining and emotionally stagnating.
  • Undermining your fitness goals by using food to numb emotional pain.
  • Procrastinating on important tasks and spending time scrolling on social media.
  • Donating time and money to causes that violate the public’s trust.
  • Constantly choosing temporary comfort over investing in my desired goals.

The candid and revealing conversations were life-changing. And through their own reflections, transparency, and honesty, the brave folks who shared were able to recognize the barriers that kept them in ruts and harmful situations.

The good news is that we can change! You and I can make different choices that promote our fulfillment.

Instead of watering weeds, we can “water flowers.”

“Watering flowers” is a commonly used phrase representing activities that nurture the soul, uplift the heart, and aid personal growth. Metaphorically, nurturing supportive relationships is like watering flowers.

To be clear: “Watering Flowers” is not about toxic positivity or being Pollyanna. It’s about intentionally creating a fulfilling and meaningful life.

In my private podcast, I share a few thoughts about watering weeds. Click here to listen and to subscribe.  If you have time, please tell me where you are watering flowers. Also, let me know how I can support you.

I hope you have a fantastic October and spend most of your time watering flowers, not weeds.

SharRon,

The Dare To Soar Higher Strategist

Every Arrival Is Not An Accomplishment!

Are you wishing and working for something that you really want?

Tough question, right?

Frequently, we struggle, toil, and sacrifice for goals that are not really ours. We spend the best years of our lives chasing dreams that were really “imposed expectations” or a just way for us to gain approval and validation from others.

Then, one day, we wake up and realize we have arrived at our destination, but we feel empty.

We realized we were climbing up ladders leaning on the wrong buildings.

We realize that we are living our lives by societal norms, predictable paradigms, and suffocating stereotypes.

We recognize that we were attempting to fulfill our parent’s dreams, not our own.

So, what do we do?

We DARE to change.

We get ROOTED TO RISE!

We don’t have to make quick decisions or impulsive moves.

But, we gradually unravel the web that we made to release ourselves from our own confinement.

How do I know?

It was my story. I made decisions trying to make others happy, and I was miserable. I was gradually killing my own soul.

Thankfully. I made a change, and you can too. And most of all. I can help. I and other like-minded people are joining together to make changes together so we can pursue our hearts’ desires. My Pastor said it best: Every arrival is not an accomplishment, especially when you arrive at a place and position that does not satisfy or support your soul.

Hope to see you in Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back To Yourself.

Rooted To Rise is a sacred journey for folks who want to reclaim their truth and reunite with their authentic self. It’s for big-hearted people who have dreams and want to SOAR in every aspect of their life.

It’s to get rooted so you can RISE!

Don’t Be Limited By Labels!

I hate being labeled. Don’t you?

Being boxed in or imprisoned by someone’s myopic thinking challenges my sense of justice and respect.

I am like most folks: I don’t appreciate being restricted by the opinions of people who don’t know me, especially when they don’t know themselves.

But this is what I KNOW to be true: People who can’t control, contain, or cripple you will label you to neutralize you.

They will use hateful and harmful words to strip you of your humanity and divinity.

They will hinder your ability to navigate the world by perverting your motives, underestimating your strengths, and exaggerating your weaknesses.

Of course, the label will sting!

But when you realize their labeling is the only tool they have to hinder you, you will recognize their powerless ploys for what they are …..feeble attempts at manipulation, assassination, and dehumanization.

Remember, you are beyond labels.

No sticker can capture your entire essence.

You are too masterfully made, too exceptionally equipped, and too carefully crafted to fit whatever noun or adjective they select to describe you.

But YOU MUST believe that!

You must remember that your FULL identity, ability, and potential are beyond anyone’s grasp or understanding.

You must know that no one limits you!

No name can dull your brilliance!

Granny used to say, “It doesn’t matter what they call you; it only matters what you answer to.” That means YOU, and only YOU, have the power and the privilege of determining who, what, and whose you ARE!

YOU are the designer of your life. You are the architect.

That’s why it is vital to get rooted in who you are –  anchored in your identity, purpose, and hope.

Because when you are grounded in who you are, you are less likely to get derailed by the assumptions and assessments of naysayers.

And most of all, you won’t let empty critiques and mean-spirited critics distract you from pursuing your life-enriching, soul-nourishing goals.

REMEMBER: Don’t let labels limit you. Don’t let someone’s perception disrupt your commitment to wholeness, happiness, and rest. Don’t get distracted by empty opinions.

Soar beyond the labels others place on you, and watch your life expand.

Blessings

SharRon

 

Are You Willing To Lead?

You are a leader!

Do you believe that?

Last week, I started a workshop stating that everyone in the room was a leader. What was puzzling was that some folks didn’t agree with my statement.

Some shared that they didn’t feel like leaders because they didn’t have decision-making power. Others talked about titles, positions, and hierarchies as if labels and organizational charts were the only factors that determine and define leadership.

The group responses were not entirely surprising, because it’s hard to see yourself as a leader when society constantly doubts, discounts, and disrespects you. It’s also hard to appreciate and activate your sovereignty when you have been systematically marginalized because of your ability, race, class, age, body, faith, gender identity, sexual orientation, or other factors considered inferior to the “mainstream”.

So you know what I did?

I stopped the pre-planned workshop and started talking about liberatory self-leadership. Together, as a loving group, we talked about America’s complex history, the burden of stereotypes, and the heaviness of discrimination.

People shared how difficult it was to speak up and to make choices in systems that squash their voices and challenge their resolve.

It was painful to hear but powerful to see how people shared their souls, trusting that there was space for their opinions and lived experiences.

During the meeting-turn-healing-gathering, I shared information about the power of agency and choice — a choice to be an example, the choice to follow your conscience, the agency to explore options, the agency to resist tradition, and the choice to have faith.

I also shared how self-leadership ensures that you don’t deny your own lived reality, dilute your dreams, or unconsciously accept oppression.

And, I encouraged the audience to research and learn history to challenge the historical lies that deny their contributions to American culture. When you know the truth about who you are and your ancestors, you can reclaim the power and pride of your heritage. And then you can stand boldly in your divinity, dignity, and humanity.

Whew! We went all the way there!

The workshop was an engaging, healing, and transformative experience. And to every person who bravely shared their heart, THANK YOU! Your willingness to be vulnerable and honest elevated everyone in the room.

So, today, I want to ask you that question. What does self-leadership mean to you?

To me, leading myself is….

  •  About being courageous enough to maintain my beliefs and values while still being open to learning, unlearning, and relearning.
  • About opposing popular opinions that contradict my values, defying cultural norms, and reimagining success while prioritizing my wholeness.
  • About pursuing my dreams, knowing that my milestones and mistakes are equally ordered to teach me on my journey.
  • About acknowledging my unique abilities and skills while recognizing that joining forces with like-minded people and building communities is wise and helpful.
  •   About honoring the ideas, ideologies, and identities of others while also honoring my own.
  •  About leaving anything and anyone that blocks my growth, denies my self-expression, and undermines my integrity.

TRUTH: Self-leadership is the key to living a life that honors your sacred call, respects your unique identity, and gives you the power to create a peaceful life. And it ensures that your choices, divinity, and humanity are not up for debate!

Reply to this message and let me know what self-leadership means to you. Also, let me know if you would like to attend a similar workshop.

My prayer for you and me is that we embrace and embody our innate leadership, so we never feel forced to be something we don’t want to be.

Have a great week!

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Life Is About A Good Pace, Not A Fast Race!

Recently, I have been thinking a great deal about society’s obsession with speed. The constant barrage of messages promoting simple solutions, quick fixes, and 30-day guarantees feels overwhelming and deceiving.

Because speed is not everything and it can’t fix everything!

Having a fulfilling, hustle-free life is about establishing a healthy PACE!

So, what if we removed the expectation of “fast” and allowed people to evolve at the speed of their hearts?

What if we slowed down so people were restored and revived while they healed?

What if we altered the pace to experience more peace while on our path to greater joy?

Because honestly…. When it comes to self-reclamation and healing, speed doesn’t matter. Evolving into your new season and becoming more of who you are is not a time-based event; it’s a welcoming homecoming back to your authentic self.

Just to be clear….. pacing yourself is not the same as endless delays and fear-based procrastination.

Pacing yourself is a commitment to growth, innovation, and healing that feels good to the soul. It’s a realization and rhythm that feels nourishing, expansive, sustainable, and spiritually honest, based on your learning style.

Pacing yourself is a self-honoring promise that allows you to rediscover your greatness and embody it in affirming ways. It ensures that you experience personal revelations so you can release societal rules and recover from minimizing beliefs.

Next week, in I Dare To Be Me, we will pace ourselves as we slowly pick up pieces of ourselves that we lost along the way. Together, we will pick up hidden desires, suppressed identities, buried dreams, and forgotten aspirations. We will look back before we look forward, ensuring we heal old wounds and extract new wisdom along the way.

By taking the time to pace ourselves, we will rediscover our own potential and access our wisdom to let go of limiting beliefs that society imposes on us.

We will also take our time to release outdated paradigms, dismantle internalized oppression, and unhook ourselves from myths that have immobilized us or have us headed in the wrong direction.

We won’t sprint in I Dare To Be Me; we will pace ourselves to embody the transformations, revelations, and lessons that emerge to apply to our lives.

We will move with intention, inspiration, and care as we courageously journey back home to our whole selves.

You are invited to join this life-enriching journey. Because even if you feel like you know yourself well, there is more inner wisdom and love inside of you that will support your dreams, desires, and destiny.

In the meantime, ask yourself a few questions.

  • Can you imagine working in the same career, being in the same relationship, or volunteering at the same organization next year? Why or why not?
  • Can you see yourself living in the same city, working in the same environment, or feeling the same way in two years? Why or why not?
  • Can you see yourself hustling less and resting more in the next few months? Why or why now?
  • Can you imagine pursuing your dreams, feeling loved, or feeling more at peace today? Why or why not?

Take a few days to sit with the questions. Pace yourself.

Then, if joining I Dare To Be Me feels right for you, join me. If not, honor your pace and continue to honor your journey. And know that I will do my best to continue sharing what I am learning so you can SOAR higher and faster than you have soared before.

Blessings!

SharRon

 

 

What Is Your Life Saying To You?

Have you ever wondered how you would look, live and love if you did most of what you promised yourself you would do?

During my weekly inventory, I think about my life. I examine my choices, thoughts, actions, and comments to assess if my life resembles and reflects the promises I made to myself and honors the commitments I made to others.

Sometimes I feel proud that my behavior aligns with my commitments. But sometimes, I realize that there are gaps, and the gaps are usually around how I treat myself and how I treat my “calling.” Sometimes I also realize that I am giving too much of myself to people and places not aligned with my destiny, jeopardizing my wholeness and health.

Over the last few months, I have realized that many leaders, visionaries, and change agents also feel their lives are not aligned with their deepest desires or their most urgent needs. Many have shared that they feel burdened by responsibilities or exhausted by politics, competing priorities, and challenging people.

Truth: Collective exhaustion and misalignment take a toll on our souls. It distracts people – people like you and me who deeply care about the world – from creating the change we want and need to see in our communities. Weariness also prevents us from honoring and caring for spirits, bodies, and loved ones.

So, this week, take a step back and review your life to ensure you are directing your energy and efforts to the right causes, values, and systems.

Inspect your relationships. Examine your career, your calling, or your life’s work. Analyze your progress, proficiency, and potential to determine if your behavior aligns with your soul’s desires and goals.

Then, look in the mirror. Glance over your body. Reflect on your heart. Connect with your soul. Survey the rooms in your house. Then honestly (without judgment), ask yourself: is my life lying to me about what I care about, or am I lying about my life?

My elders used to say that ” talking and telling ain’t the same thing.” Translation: What you say is one thing. What you do is something else.

So, today, ask yourself: What is my mouth saying that I am NOT doing? How can I get more in alignment with my truth? What unconscious thoughts or fears are getting in my way? How are my goals and actions aligned with my values? Where can I be more courageous in my decision-making and bridge-building?

When your life reflects the core of who you are, you will thrive! You will feel invigorated, empowered, and fulfilled. And when you are happy, aligned, and rested, you will create the changes you want to see in the world.

Let’s Dare to Soar Higher as we speak and work for the collective good while honoring our deepest individual needs. That way, our mouths will talk, and our lives with honestly tell.

Blessings!

SharRon

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

P.S. Are you receiving my newsletter? Be sure to sign up to be the first to learn about upcoming programs, resources, and retreats. Click here.

Don’t Rush Into A Resolution

Even though nothing is magical about the first of the year, I know the first few weeks of 2023 will bring many transformations–thoughtful endings, a few abrupt exits, many renewed commitments, and some energizing fresh starts.

So, consider what will move you closer to your dreams and desires as you make resolutions or intentions.

I have provided a few prompts to help you.

  • How do I want to feel?
  • What will support me in this new season of my life?
  • How do I know what I want?
  • How do I change?
  • What could fill me up?
  • What could drain me?
  • How do I move from my current situation to what I deeply desire?
  • What step will be the least disruptive to my family?
  • How do I clarify why I am moving in a different direction?
  • What do I do with fear?
  • How do I know if I have the proper support for this big goal?
  • What if I don’t have a concrete plan to move forward?
  • How do I know if my contingency plan is solid enough?
  • How can I get better?
  • Who can mentor me?
  • What will help me grow?
  • What risks do I need to take?
  • How can I ensure I am not over-extended?
  • What boundaries do I need to create or reconsider?
  • How can I create more harmony in my life?

All these are significant questions and will help you discern what feels right to you for this specific season in your life.

REMINDER: You don’t need to rush into resolutions.

You only need to trust yourself to choose and to keep choosing what you need and desire to create the life and lifestyle you crave.