Tag: personal transformation

IGNORE the Naysayers!

If you want to pursue your destiny, one skill that you must develop and strengthen is the skill of IGNORING the naysayers.

 

Yes, ignoring the comments and opinions of people who don’t care about you, your gift, or your life’s calling is a critical skill!

 

Just for the record, ignoring people does not mean that you are rude or arrogant. Ignoring people means you are focused, disciplined, and committed to being the highest version of yourself.

 

It means that you are dedicated to executing your vision with excellence, greatness, and integrity.

 

My friend, let’s be honest. You already wrestle with your own inner demons and insecurities. You are constantly challenging oppressive narratives that undermine your confidence and feelings of worthiness.  So why invite more demons into your space and spirit by listening to people who don’t care about you, who don’t share your values, and who don’t have their own dreams.

 

Goal: Develop your ability to IGNORE statements that keep you stuck, scared, silent, sidetracked, shipwrecked, shallow, stale, sick, and salty.

 

Trust me; your ability to IGNORE people and their negative comments will serve and support you well as you pursue your dreams.

 

If you want more encouragement to ignore the naysayers, stay tuned. “You Can Depend On You” will launch soon.

 

Make sure you join my mailing list to learn more. Click here.

 

Blessings,

 

SharRon!

Your Life Will Teach You Where To Go!

As a child, my elders told me that if you pay attention to your life, it will teach you what you need to know, where you need to grow, and where you need to go.

I never really thought much about that lesson, but over this last year, life has taught me many lessons about what I should be and should not be doing. If you are a big-hearted, socially aware person, you probably feel that life has taught you a lot during the last 18 months, too.

So this year, as I do every year around my birthday, I reflect on the critical lessons I learned during the twelve preceding months. It’s an understatement to say that this year the lessons were insightful and profound. Living amid a global pandemic, dealing with constant civil unrest, dealing with racial reckoning, and enduring an international quarantine encouraged me to reflect deeply about how I was living, loving, and leading.

So, during this week, I invite you to think about the critical lessons you learned in 2020, and what lessons you are learning today. I have provided a few prompts for you.

  • How did you learn to create more love, more peace, and more joy in your life amid the chaos?
  • What were the major lessons that you had to unlearn and relearn to reclaim harmony, restore relationships, and reimagine how you engage the world?
  • Where in your life are you marginalizing, minimizing, trivializing, and stigmatizing your own vision, your own goals, and your own desires?
  • Where in your life are you still tied to patterns and perspectives that are sabotaging your growth?
  • How can you better embrace your worthiness, commit to more self-care, and connect more profoundly with your loved ones?

The answers to these questions may require that you consciously reset your priorities, rethink your childhood, and create new environments so you can flourish and thrive. Your answers may even require you to take some risks and make new investments in yourself and others.

Even though a bit chaotic, this season offers enormous possibilities. And if you walk with courage, be resilient, and envision wholeness for yourself and others, you will launch into a new dimension of joy.

Wishing you well as you Dare To Soar HIGHER!

Blessings,

SharRon

*P.S. Sign up for my newsletter to get access to my private podcast. Click here.

If You Can’t Trust Yourself, Trust Your Track Record

As you start a new month, I have a hard question for you.

Have you ever wanted to go for a promotion or start a business but felt inadequate?

Have ever felt you were not qualified enough, did not have the right degree, and didn’t have the right connections to pursue your dreams?

I have. Early in my career, I would interview for job after job, but never land the promotions I desired and earned.

I grew really frustrated because I knew that the folks who landed the positions were not more skilled or educated than I was. Heck, I even trained some of them.

Of course, there were many factors working against me. I was a young, Black woman and the biopharmaceutical industry was not ready to embrace diversity, especially without a fight.

After being looked over and picked apart, I told my father that I was leaving corporate America. But I also admitted that I feared failing as an entrepreneur.

He said, “SharRon, if you can’t trust yourself, trust your track record.”

Whew.. that statement was the jolt I needed to help me remember all the successes that shaped my career. That one brief statement encouraged me to take a jog down memory lane and I realized I had shattered many glass ceilings, smashed a few paradigms, and kicked in numerous closets. Yes, I had a track record of success.

Why is it important to review your track record? 

As you pursue your purpose, you will be forced to take some risks. And when you do, it’s always helpful to have a few people to remind you of your mastery, abilities, and capacity to overcome obstacles. It’s also extremely wise to have a strong inner core, which I define as a group of people who can help you rise to the occasion and help you resist the spirit of fear. For me, my inner core included my father.

Over the weekend, take a close inventory of your friends and determine which friends have the traits and the mentality to be in your inner core. Use the MRS framework to help you identify which friends most align with your needs, dreams, and goals. And then make some needed adjustments so you can SOAR.

I have provided a quick overview of the MRS framework for you to review.

  • M = People with whom you enjoy Meaningful Mutuality
  • R = People who help you RISE, REST, RECOVER, and RESIST
  • S = People who are Spiritually aware, awakened, and live. 

We all need people who believe in us; our friendships are critical to our calling. That’s why, in “You Can Depend On You,” I dedicate an entire module to identifying and cultivating healthy connections. If you are going to become the highest version of yourself, gather and engage with people who can share their wisdom, time, and talent with you. Find a great core for your calling!

Remember, you can depend on yourself to foster relationships with helpful, faithful folks. Even if you made some poor selections in the past, as I did, you can still trust yourself to make positive “friend” choices today.

In my newest book, Deciding To Soar 2:Unwrapping Your Purpose, I dedicate 10 chapters on the topic of friendships. Be sure to order it today, and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. Click here to order.

Blessings!

 

SharRon

 

It’s Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

Over the weekend, a group of women shared how a cultural assumption was gradually killing them.

Yes, KILLING them!

What’s the assumption:  All Black Women Must Live Up To The Strong Black Women trope. 

I know saying that a woman is strong is supposed to be a compliment. But, is it really?

When a Black woman is expected to deal with racism, sexism, poverty, being underpaid, being overworked, being unsupported, being devalued, being unprotected, and being vilified without rest, comfort, compensation, and care, is that fair?

No, it is not fair. In fact, trying to live up to that oppressive stereotype is a burden, an insult, and the kiss of death! It is a denial of our humanity and an assault on our dignity.

Since the stereotype is so harmful, what does that mean?

It means that YOU MUST let some things go!

If you want to reclaim your health and peace, you must detach from the narrative and all of the expectations that come with it.

Listen, I know it will be difficult. Over-extending and exhausting ourselves have both been ingrained into our psyche. Even as little girls, we were praised for neglecting, ignoring, and deprioritizing ourselves. We were elevated and adored if we worked as selfless martyrs.

But no more!

Sis, please take off the superwoman cape before it becomes a casket.

And, please give yourself permission to divest from this and other oppressive narratives that steal your peace, joy, and rest.

I want to say again for the people in the back: Being an SBW Is Not A Badge Of Honor; It’s The Kiss Of Death!

So, throughout the week, support yourself deeply.

Love yourself!

Say no!

Put yourself first!

Liberate yourself from people, places, and things that undermine you and drain your strength.

Promise yourself that you will find at least one hour every week to really nurture yourself.

Also, find a healthy group of women who can listen, love, and nourish you as you rethink your life in this post-COVID world.

The world is reopening and there will be many opportunities for you to leverage your gifts, talents, and wisdom to create a different life that aligns with who you are today.

But you can only benefit from the opportunities if you are not weary. As I share in my book, Deciding To Soar 2, it’s hard to win when you are weary.

Remember, you can depend on yourself to make choices that honor your soul. And most of all, after you make your value-based choices, there are wonderful people waiting to help you implement your choices so you can live a more wholesome, holistic life.

I am cheering for you!

You got this!

My team and I are here for you.

Blessings!

SharRon

Are You A Discount Diva? Are You Undervaluing Yourself?

Have you ever played yourself cheap or betrayed yourself to fit into a specific group?

I have.

In fact, 25 years ago, one of my dearest friends told me I devalued myself so much that I navigated in the world like a “discount diva.”

What? A discount diva?

Boy, I was crushed! I was not only offended by how casually she called me out, but I was also saddened because her words felt true. And because her words felt true to my soul, I felt embarrassed, stupid, and exposed.

At first, I rejected her perspective, and I was defensive. I tried to convince her that I was NOT that chick; I was not a discount diva. I did my best to persuade her that I was accomplished, educated, and polished because my fragile ego could not take such painful, though honest, comments.

It was an emotionally excruciating day, but I listened to my friend. While she shared her revelations, I cried, really sobbed, as she lovingly explained how she “experienced” me. She provided details, examples, and names. Her comments were thoughtful, candid, and courageous.

My conversation with my friend was life-changing, and I go into greater detail about that experience in Deciding To Soar 2. If you haven’t bought the book, please do. If you have purchased my newest book, please turn to Chapter 50. You will find the entire story there. Order here or via Amazon.

How did I process my friend’s candid feedback?

By using a method called the TRUTH Method.

The TRUTH Method is a process I created to ensure that I don’t immediately reject helpful feedback, and it is the same process that I use with powerful people today.

The TRUTH Method helps people objectively review and dissect the past WITHOUT shaming themselves because shame never changes behavior. And most of all, the TRUTH Method leads to value-based action and deep emotional healing.

TRUTH Method

  • T = Even though feedback is tough to hear, take it in. Listen with fresh ears.
  • R = Don’t immediately resist and reject feedback, reflect on it. Assess your behavior and beliefs. Identify what’s feels true.
  • U = Don’t shun feedback, “UN” it. (Un is a prefix that means to do the opposite.) You may need to unpack, unlearn, or untether yourself from old conditioning to heal.
  •  Trust yourself to make new decisions and to tackle the naysayers and your internal critics. Lovingly challenge and confront anything that prevents your growth.
  • H = Don’t hide from your mistakes or your beliefsGet help, huddle, and heal. 

Bottom-line is this: Acknowledging the truth is the basis of transformation. And to make dynamic, life-changing shifts in your life, you must identify and reckon with your past, your habits, your hobbies, your relationships, and your beliefs that strip you of power.

You MUST tell yourself the truth!

You can listen to more insights on our community private podcast feed by joining my newsletter. Click here to join.

You can also listen via YouTube by clicking here. And while you are there, please subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Moral of the story: Honor yourself and seek feedback. Learn how people “experience” you. Never forget that you are a divine design and not a discount diva. You have much to offer the world.

P.S. Make sure you purchase Deciding To Soar 2: Unwrapping Your Purpose and the Deciding To Soar Reflection Guide by clicking here.

Blessings!

SharRon

What’s Blocking You? – Part 2

actionHave you ever felt as if you were stuck in a rut? I have. There have been times in my life when I have felt stuck, cemented and confined by people, policies, places and positions.  A few times I felt so emotionally trapped by routines, responsibilities and relationships that I stopped growing, learning, loving and living.  I was emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually sinking, and I was sinking fast.

Thankfully some wonderful coaches and counselors helped me change the trajectory of my life and now almost 25 years later, I have learned a few things.   I have learned that self-reflection is the first step to personal transformation. Yes, I learned that I had to learn more about me. I learned that I had to learn who I was devoid of expectations, fears, traditions, norms and facades. I had to discover who I was outside of what everybody else wanted me to be.   Trust me, that was difficult; it required peeling back layers of my personality that I never knew existed.

For me, self-reflection was a painstaking process because I had to take off the masks and remove my disguises; I could no longer hide. I also had to stop acting, and the funny thing was —  I didn’t know that I was even acting. I thought my beliefs and behavior were self-directed; I soon realized that they were not. I realized that my beliefs and behavior were influenced by whole lot of people who didn’t know me, care about, support me or even like me. Yikes! What a wake-up call!

During my self-discovery journey, I was forced to analyze my history to identify patterns, themes and the orgins of my bad behavior. I had to understand why I  sabotaged my success, happiness, relationships and health. I was forced to evaluate my perspectives and define my truth, and honestly 25 years ago, I didn’t know I even had a truth. Imagine that.

I am not alone; many people are and have been in the same boat. Many people today are struggling or have struggled to understand themselves. Some, like I did, have and continue to struggle to find their purpose, accept their calling or even understand the need for transformation. Most successful people I know have been to THE place, the place of truth that helped them jump-start their journeys of personal transformation.  I call THAT place “Blessings at the Bottom” (Chapter 39 in I Have Learned A Few Things)

Yes, most of us have been to that the scary, unfamiliar and agonizing place that demanded that we become more self-aware.  I am sure that we all can agree that THE place is a challenging place but it is also an exciting place. It is a place of great promise, great purpose, great clarity and of great relief. During THAT place, we were forced to look closer, deeper and broader at the choices that we made or honestly consider the choices that we were failing to make. We removed our defenses and we became emotionally transparent to ourselves; we didn’t hide from our histories, failures, mistakes and secrets.  We became self-aware and as result, we were ready to embark on our new journeys, our journeys of personal transformation.

As we learned in the previous post, self-AWARENESS is the first step toward personal transformation. After you conduct a full life inventory and commit to continuous self-discovery, the second step on the road to personal transformation is ACTION. Yes, ACTION! If you want a different life, you must make changes; you must do something and many times, do a lot of “somethings” differently. As we say in the South, “you just can’t talk about it, you got to be about it”.

But even though we know we must do something, it is the “doing” that scares us the most. It is the “doing” that keeps up stuck, stagnant and stale in our lives. It is the “doing” that seems insurmountable, unfathomable and just down right undoable.  It is the “doing” that reveals our fears, unravels our resolve and makes us abandon our dreams. It is the “doing” that frequently stops us or makes us settle for relationships that are unfulfilling, jobs that are underpaying and lives that are unsatisfying. The “doing”, the failure to take action, is what limits our successes and negates our future.

actionchangesthings

So how do we address the “doing” so that it feels doable? I don’t know all of the answers but I have a few thoughts.

  • Get clear about what you want and who you want to be; determine your compelling WHY. Your WHY will create your vision, and your vision will guide and direct you. For example, when I started my healing journey, my WHY was that I no longer wanted to feel yucky inside. I was tired of feeling small, silent, suffocated and sidetracked. My WHY was not elaborate or deep; it was just honest.  More importantly, at the time that was all I could articulate but it was a great start. What’s your WHY?
  • Identify the resources that you already have and identify what you are already know. When I started my personal transformation, I knew that I had some money and I knew that I needed therapy. I knew that my prolonged feelings of malaise and sadness were not normal. I didn’t know too much more than that but knowing those few things was critical to me moving forward in my life.  So what do you already have and what do you already know?
  • Take a step, make a call, start a class, join a group or find support. I would say read a book but I have learned that reading books in isolation is never enough for sustained growth. Books provide concepts but an activity, practice or coaching provides the application. And to make the changes that you want in your life, you need both concepts and application. Just think about. You can read a book about swimming all day long but until you jump in the pool do you know if you can really swim? The same principle applies when learning new life skills. So, what are you doing to use, practice, apply or implement the knowledge that you are learning?
  • Don’t worry about understanding all the details. You may never know all of the details before you start a business, pursue your dreams or embark on a healing journey. Learn as much as you can and get started. No, don’t be reckless or careless; be calculating, prudent and analytical. But after you obtain as much information as you can, MOVE, DO, GO, BE, and TRY! Take action…..bold action. As you take a few steps toward your goals, more information, resources and support will show up. Trust me…I have been there.
  • Only focus on 3 – 5, preferably only 3, things that you want to improve or change at one time. Some coaches may disagree with me on this. However, from working with all types of clients, I have learned that personal transformation is challenging, and trying to do too much at once often becomes overwhelming. And what do overwhelmed people routinely do? They procrastinate or they QUIT! So, honor yourself. Organize your life and focus on a few things so you don’t fall out, fall down and fall asleep. Trust me, it happens.
  • Remember that success is a process, and sometimes a messy process. This weekend one of my mentors said something that resonated in my spirit. He said that “sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. Wow…as we say in the Christian faith –  that was an on-time word. That phrase freed me! I now feel more creative, more committed and more courageous to pursue my own dreams. That little phrase empowered and embolden me to Soar Higher!

I encourage you to take Action! Never forget that motion motivates, activates and elevates. So get started because today is the first day of the rest of your life. And, don’t forget to get some support on your journey. If you need coaching or assistance, please feel free to call the Jamison Group.  We would love to provide you with support and guidance as you embark on your new life.

Always remember to DARE to SOAR HIGHER because You are ALWAYS worth your best!

(Reprinted from my upcoming book, I Have Learned A Few Things About Success)

Blessings,

SharRon