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Living LONG or Living WELL or Both?

Written by SharRon Jamison on . Posted in Uncategorized. Leave a Comment

Did you know there’s a difference between LIVING LONG and LIVING WELL?

I never considered the difference until one of my mentors explained what LIVING WELL was.

According to my mentor, LIVING WELL means being the best version of yourself. It’s when you are doing work that you love, making a positive impact on the world, prioritizing your health, and surrounding yourself with people who value and appreciate you.

As a “midlifer” (that’s what I am lovingly calling myself now), that perspective resonated with my soul. It made me wonder: Am I living as well as I can?

Quietly, my soul whispered, “No, but you could if you keep making honest choices.”

So, what are honest choices?

Making honest choices is about telling yourself the truth about your desires, needs, and beliefs before you take action. It’s also about honoring your gifts, owning your strengths, and responsibly managing your physical, mental, and social resources.

Even though making honest choices is the most heart-affirming thing to do, it’s not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, implementing soul-expanding, values-inspired decisions can be difficult.

Why?

Since childhood, we have been taught and celebrated for parroting what others said or for copying what others did, even when those actions contradicted our truth.

But….what if you pushed past your discomfort, guilt, and fear and told yourself the FULL TRUTH about your deepest desires and unmet needs?

What if you turned DOWN the volume of external messages and turned UP the volume on your heart’s yearnings?

What if you trusted your longings and hopes?

What if you engage in new conversations and consider fresh beliefs?

What if you walked a different path or listened to your inner wisdom?

What if you stopped “obligated” living and embraced “option” living?

What if you shaped your world instead of being squeezed by the world?

What if you believed you were more than your history, memories, and career so you could see unlimited possibilities for your life?

What if you believed you were worthy of living WELL so you could enjoy your one precious life?

We lovingly explore what it means to LIVE WELL in all my coaching programs. We embrace the question with courageous curiosity and imagine what living well would feel, sound, and taste like.

We ask each other questions and share our experiences to learn, unlearn, and relearn ways of being true to ourselves and each other.

And guess what?

Those conversations are so clarifying and nourishing. Talking about life with generous, joy-seeking, supportive people helps you consider your values and goals. And by exchanging wisdom, everyone gains new insight and tactics to design a more fulfilling, purposeful life.

So, think about your life and ask yourself, are you living well? Determine if you are doing what you feel called, created, and anointed to do. Look within your heart and determine whether your life makes you feel inspired, motivated, or obligated. Ask yourself how to be more honest to help you dream and soar again.

Here’s the good news: there is a safe place to ask yourself soul-nourishing questions and get the support you need to thrive in Rooted To Rise: A Journey Back Home To Yourself.

Rooted To Rise is a sacred gathering where people can openly discuss ideas and take healthy risks without feeling overwhelmed or judged.

And if you join, you’ll be part of a caring, purposeful circle that will celebrate and encourage you as you rethink, reclaim, and reimagine your life.

If Rooted To Rise speaks to you, click here to get on the waitlist for the last cohort in 2023.

I share more about living well in our exclusive community podcast. Click here to listen.

LIVE WELL this week. Be good to yourself. Stretch yourself, but don’t stress yourself. And remember…you don’t have to soar alone.

Blessings,

SharRon.

 

Are You Willing To Lead?

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You are a leader!

Do you believe that?

Last week, I started a workshop stating that everyone in the room was a leader. What was puzzling was that some folks didn’t agree with my statement.

Some shared that they didn’t feel like leaders because they didn’t have decision-making power. Others talked about titles, positions, and hierarchies as if labels and organizational charts were the only factors that determine and define leadership.

The group responses were not entirely surprising, because it’s hard to see yourself as a leader when society constantly doubts, discounts, and disrespects you. It’s also hard to appreciate and activate your sovereignty when you have been systematically marginalized because of your ability, race, class, age, body, faith, gender identity, sexual orientation, or other factors considered inferior to the “mainstream”.

So you know what I did?

I stopped the pre-planned workshop and started talking about liberatory self-leadership. Together, as a loving group, we talked about America’s complex history, the burden of stereotypes, and the heaviness of discrimination.

People shared how difficult it was to speak up and to make choices in systems that squash their voices and challenge their resolve.

It was painful to hear but powerful to see how people shared their souls, trusting that there was space for their opinions and lived experiences.

During the meeting-turn-healing-gathering, I shared information about the power of agency and choice — a choice to be an example, the choice to follow your conscience, the agency to explore options, the agency to resist tradition, and the choice to have faith.

I also shared how self-leadership ensures that you don’t deny your own lived reality, dilute your dreams, or unconsciously accept oppression.

And, I encouraged the audience to research and learn history to challenge the historical lies that deny their contributions to American culture. When you know the truth about who you are and your ancestors, you can reclaim the power and pride of your heritage. And then you can stand boldly in your divinity, dignity, and humanity.

Whew! We went all the way there!

The workshop was an engaging, healing, and transformative experience. And to every person who bravely shared their heart, THANK YOU! Your willingness to be vulnerable and honest elevated everyone in the room.

So, today, I want to ask you that question. What does self-leadership mean to you?

To me, leading myself is….

  •  About being courageous enough to maintain my beliefs and values while still being open to learning, unlearning, and relearning.
  • About opposing popular opinions that contradict my values, defying cultural norms, and reimagining success while prioritizing my wholeness.
  • About pursuing my dreams, knowing that my milestones and mistakes are equally ordered to teach me on my journey.
  • About acknowledging my unique abilities and skills while recognizing that joining forces with like-minded people and building communities is wise and helpful.
  •   About honoring the ideas, ideologies, and identities of others while also honoring my own.
  •  About leaving anything and anyone that blocks my growth, denies my self-expression, and undermines my integrity.

TRUTH: Self-leadership is the key to living a life that honors your sacred call, respects your unique identity, and gives you the power to create a peaceful life. And it ensures that your choices, divinity, and humanity are not up for debate!

Reply to this message and let me know what self-leadership means to you. Also, let me know if you would like to attend a similar workshop.

My prayer for you and me is that we embrace and embody our innate leadership, so we never feel forced to be something we don’t want to be.

Have a great week!

Blessings!

SharRon

 

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

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A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

P.S. Are you receiving my newsletter? Be sure to sign up to be the first to learn about upcoming programs, resources, and retreats. Click here.

Don’t Rush Into A Resolution

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Even though nothing is magical about the first of the year, I know the first few weeks of 2023 will bring many transformations–thoughtful endings, a few abrupt exits, many renewed commitments, and some energizing fresh starts.

So, consider what will move you closer to your dreams and desires as you make resolutions or intentions.

I have provided a few prompts to help you.

  • How do I want to feel?
  • What will support me in this new season of my life?
  • How do I know what I want?
  • How do I change?
  • What could fill me up?
  • What could drain me?
  • How do I move from my current situation to what I deeply desire?
  • What step will be the least disruptive to my family?
  • How do I clarify why I am moving in a different direction?
  • What do I do with fear?
  • How do I know if I have the proper support for this big goal?
  • What if I don’t have a concrete plan to move forward?
  • How do I know if my contingency plan is solid enough?
  • How can I get better?
  • Who can mentor me?
  • What will help me grow?
  • What risks do I need to take?
  • How can I ensure I am not over-extended?
  • What boundaries do I need to create or reconsider?
  • How can I create more harmony in my life?

All these are significant questions and will help you discern what feels right to you for this specific season in your life.

REMINDER: You don’t need to rush into resolutions.

You only need to trust yourself to choose and to keep choosing what you need and desire to create the life and lifestyle you crave.

 

September Is the Month Of Completion

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Happy September!

It’s the 9th month, and the number 9 symbolizes completion. For me, that’s exciting because it reminds me that I have fulfilled an important stage in my life and that I am ready for something new.

But even though embarking on something new sounds exciting, it can also feel daunting, especially when you are not accustomed to reflecting on your own needs, dreams, and mission.

So, how do you start something new?

First, by being honest with yourself about the quality of your life and discerning if its current structure serves your greatest good… YOUR truth.

Second, by accepting that your truth may have changed because you have grown from an experience, awakened to a new revelation, or healed from an old wound.

Third, by accepting that your new truth may be controversial, confrontational, and contradictory to the status quo. Yes, your new truth may ruffle a few feathers.

Finally, by accepting that your new truth requires new choices and actions because it’s challenging to make life-expanding moves with an old mindset.

So, if you are ready to embark on something new – something bigger, better, and bolder – consider these four critical pillars. And if you need any more motivation to launch out into something new, consider the following benefits:

Your truth will ensure that you stay well, stay whole, and feel worthy of everything you desire and deserve.

Your truth will safeguard you from succumbing to societal narratives, political lies, generational trauma, or gender norms that will stunt your growth or steal your joy.

Your truth will keep you aligned with your heart, help you stay attuned to your inner compass, and develop you toward the highest version of yourself.

Your truth will ensure that you don’t downplay your gifts or use your strengths in self-sabotaging ways.

Most of all, your truth will soften you so you feel safe, seen, and “surrendered” to your higher calling without constant compromise, unproductive comparison, and undue labor.

Essentially, your truth will anchor and prevent you from jeopardizing your dreams, which so many of us do when we prioritize the needs of others over our own.

As a coach and sojourner, I am exploring and considering some critical questions to help me discover and reclaim MORE of my truth. In this season of my life, I want to deeply connect with my TRUTH to expand my capacity to stay open to possibility, follow my inner compass, and welcome divine connections. Maybe these questions will support you if you are also in a season of self-discovery and self-activation.

DareTo Soar Higher Questions:

  • Where in my life am I pretending to be something I am not?
  • Where am I erasing or diluting myself to fit into spaces, and why?
  • What lights me up and lightens my load?
  • What tickles my fancy and makes me feel free?
  • What increases my belief in myself and in a greater power?
  • How can I become more sovereign and less swayed by the opinions, triggers, and expectations of others?
  • What’s the unadulterated truth about who I am and what I want?
  • Where do I need to give myself more permission to explore and execute?
  • Why do I conform and comply with practices or beliefs that don’t align with my divine path?
  • Where am I giving unappreciated labor and love, and why?
  • Where am I forfeiting my integrity, dignity, and mental health?

How do I know if I am being called to do something if I don’t have experience doing it?

Great questions, right?

I know that following your truth will activate you and help you contribute something magical to the world. And the best news is when you follow your truth, you will feel less burdened and obligated to make others happy, and that’s freedom.

So, do yourself a favor. Ask yourself questions, nurture your needs, own your power, pursue your ambition, speak with integrity, and rest your body.  Let your truth bring you the fulfillment you crave and the freedom you deeply desire. Because as all know, the TRUTH will set you free.

Blessings!

What 3 Weeks Of COVID Taught Me

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I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog, but unfortunately, I had Covid. For over three weeks, I tested positive, and honestly, I still have not recovered. I am still experiencing extreme fatigue, occasional migraines, sporadic dizziness, and mild hair loss. But through it all, I am thankful. I am alive, and I have a few lessons to share, and I hope the lessons resonate with you, too.

Lesson 1: COVID reminds me that invisible things can be deadly.

I know that’s not a new revelation, but we need to talk about it. Why? Because there may be some invisible things in your life that are causing death, too. Invisible things like feelings of doubt, fear, resentment, unforgiveness, jealousy, pride, superiority, and arrogance….just to name a few.

Do any of those feelings resonate with you?

From racism to sexism, from toxic greed to abject poverty, from arrogance to ignorance, from individualism to tribalism…..some invisible things also create narratives, systems, policies, and structures that cause irreparable harm to our culture and our environment.

They cause death….. death of your dreams, death of meaningful relationships, death of unity, death of confidence, death of hope, death of our environment, death of trust, death of dignity, death of compassion, death of creativity, etc.

And just like COVID, invisible things are often transmitted into our hearts and minds without our awareness, influencing how we treat people and our planet.

That’s why I am committed to becoming more intentional about identifying and uprooting the invisible things in my life that may negatively affect how I treat myself and others.

Here are a few questions I am asking myself that might also help you.

  • What invisible things could limit my joy, affect my emotional health, and undermine my happiness?
  • What invisible things tempt me to devalue and invisibilize people in my life?
  • What invisible things are seeping into my leadership style, causing me to perpetuate oppressive systems, discount people facing complex realities, or instill shame in others who live differently than I do?

Since I am committed to being a purpose-divine, value-centered, and dignity-affirming human, I am closely interrogating how I navigate in the world to ensure that I share power, generously share space, listen to other marginalized voices, and celebrate the diversity of God. In essence, I don’t want to cause the death of anything! I want to be a source of light, love, and liberation, and I bet you do too.

Lesson 2: I continue to tether my identity to my productivity.

Honestly, this revelation surprised me because, for decades, I have been doing deep healing work around self-love, self-acceptance, and self-prioritization. I have been intentionally decolonizing my thinking, dismantling internalized cultural norms, and disowning oppressive programming to unravel my sense of worthiness from my work.

But even though I have made significant strides around my worthiness, I realized I still have more work to do. As a result, I am committed to becoming more discerning about my feelings and more watchful about my behavior, so I don’t prioritize “doing-ness” over “being-ness.” I have also added more emphasis on “beingness” in my coaching programs because worshiping productivity only leads to burnout, anger, frustration, constant comparison, and posturing. And after two years of COVID, civil unrest, and ongoing collective grief, I am NOT interested in participating and perpetuating any toxic beliefs that, according to Beyonce, will break my soul or break the souls of others.

So, if you plan to join the next cohort of I Dare To Be Me that starts in late September, be ready to talk more about loving yourself and be ready to discuss how our society has elevated external production, public validation, and organizational approval over your personal sanity, safety, and well-being. Something to really think about, right?

Here are a few questions I am sitting with that I hope may also support you.

  • How can I stop squandering my energy, trying to prove my relevance to others, and use that energy to deeply love myself?
  • How is pursuing applause, accolades, and approval serving my highest good and contributing to my emotional well-being?
  • How are ladder-climbing, status-seeking, and promotion-chasing limiting my time and space to consistently honor myself and cherish my loved ones?

Please sit with these questions. And if you are willing, send me a message and let me know your thoughts because I would love to hear from you.

I look forward to sharing more revelations with you next week, and I also look forward to sharing a few thoughts in our private community podcast.

But in the meantime, please take care of yourself this week and stay healthy. Even though the media is not talking much about COVID, COVID is still killing people and making others extremely ill.

And if we are not following me on IG, please do. Here is a link to my most recent reels about self-love and self-agency. Click here. I hope the reels help you SEE just how amazing and powerful you are.

Thank you for letting me share my heart and thoughts with you.

Blessings to you!

SharRon

You Belong To You

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I BELONG TO ME!

When I was a little girl, my elders always said, “Always keep the best of you for yourself.”

It took me years to understand what that adage meant. But over the years, I realized it meant holding on to your dreams, never compromising your integrity, being honest even when lying was easy, and taking care of my spirit. It meant doing everything that I was NOT doing, and my quality of life showed the toxic effects of self-abandonment.

After some soul searching, I realized I was giving the best of me away to be accepted. Of course, I was not consciously betraying myself. But every time I didn’t live my truth, reinforce my boundaries, make time for my dreams, or collude with oppressive narratives, I took a chunk out of my own soul. Sadly, I had to admit that I was indeed giving the best of myself to others, and I was exhausted and depressed.

​My friend, what if you are giving the best of yourself away? Your best years? Your prime time? Your dreams? Your vision? What if you are sacrificing your needs to fulfill societal expectations, family obligations, or meet unreasonable job demands?

The truth is, if you are giving yourself away, you can take your power back. You can make life-affirming, soul-nourishing choices that honor your humanity and dignity.

You Don’t have to believe what you have been told or taught!

You don’t need to live a life full of “shoulds,” “supposed to,” “can’t,” “they won’t let me,” “someday,” “they,” and “you better not.”  You don’t have to accept a life where you feel trapped, frustrated, and coerced to follow rules that don’t align with your heart.  You don’t have to deny and delay your dreams to please people and to win friends and favors.

You don’t have to live in fear. You don’t have to rescue everybody. You don’t have to swallow your dignity or collude with a patriarchal culture to survive.  YOU DON’T need to destroy YOU to be devoted to THEM!

You can push back because YOU BELONG to YOU!

When you accept your power, YOU and the entire world benefit from your contribution, wisdom, and love. That’s why I created a free 3-day private podcast to help you reclaim your agency and sanity.

You BELONG TO YOU!

Alice Walker: “People give up their power by thinking they don’t have any.”

You have power, and it’s time to DARE TO SOAR HIGHER!

Click here for the link.

You Are Worthy Of Support

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To live in an unstable, unjust world, you must get and stay rooted in your own humanity.

Why? Because when you feel as if nothing is sacred or safe, it’s hard to feel anchored. It’s hard to stand up for your values and discern your truth so you can make thoughtful decisions that honor your greatest needs.

How do you get rooted?

Heal!

  • You start a messy, painful, non-linear process to unravel, unpack, and unlearn the old narratives, historical myths, and societal messages that undermine your power, self-love, and self-trust.
  • You find a sacred community of truth-tellers, wisdom-sharers, and purpose-seekers who know how to hold sacred space for your grief, your greatness, your growth, your giftedness, and your gallantry. ALL OF IT! It must be a community where you can share your feelings, shed old identities, and shatter old belief systems so you can grow.
  • You learn how to listen to your body and learn how your body communicates what it needs, so you can assess if you have the internal stamina and capacity to engage, or if you need to strategically withdraw from environments, circumstances, and relationships.
  • You learn how to name your feelings without labeling yourself, so you have the language to express, explore, and excavate your feelings and interrogate what your feelings mean.
  • You learn to rest by doing what restores your clarity, revives your soul, reinvigorates your body, and renews your spirit.
  • You commit to your own liberation by loving yourself without judgment and trusting yourself without delay. You don’t wait until…. you love and trust yourself NOW!
  • You harness the power of your personal story because you have lessons, experiences, and earned wisdom that will fortify you and help you navigate the currents of drama, chaos, and negativity.

Does this resonate with you?

If you desire a place that centers your brilliance, acknowledges your history, and appreciates the complexities of being a Brown and Black human or any other marginalized human in an oppressive world, I want to personally invite you to I Dare To Be Me!

In August, I am holding a special virtual open house to share more about the I Dare To Be Me experience. If you are interested, be sure to join the mailing list.

The truth: To deal with the changes and challenges in the world, you must HEAL and be rooted in your identity, humanity, and self-worth to rise even amid adversity, resistance, and cultural shifts.

And most of all, YOU are worthy of support. You don’t have to navigate the seas of change and transformation alone. There is a sacred community of truth-tellers, purpose-seekers, and bridge-builders waiting to support you.

Blessings!

SharRon