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Tag: self-liberation

Start Sitting At The Right Tables

A few days ago, one of my mentors asked me why I was sitting at the wrong tables.

Initially, I didn’t understand his comment. But I soon realized that his question was metaphorical and invited me to examine if I was spending time in life-expanding, soul-nourishing places.

So, being the thinker I am, I considered where I was spending my time to evaluate if I was metaphorically sitting at tables that were undermining or enriching my life.

I asked myself…

  • Was I sitting at tables of complacency that kept me stuck in old stories, outdated paradigms, and damaging stereotypes?
  • Was I sitting at tables where I could be easily un-seated if I disagreed with the group?
  • Was I sitting at tables where my intellectual property was stolen or altered without consent?
  • Was I sitting at tables that served stale religious dogma that demonized people with unique identities, realities, and expressions?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people showed they were aware and cared about how society treated me based on my social identity and social location?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people congratulated themselves for thinking about justice but failed to do anything for the sake of justice?
  • Was I sitting at tables where diversity was celebrated, equity was prioritized, and inclusion was embedded in the organization’s mission?
  • Was I sitting at tables where people had the maturity to disagree without disconnecting?
  • As the late Dr. Katie Cannon said, I was sitting at tables that required “numbing and dumbing?”

I am not sure why those questions came so quickly to my mind, but since they did, I knew I had to look deeper into my soul for answers. I had to tap into my intuition to access my body’s wisdom to see beyond public personas, hidden agendas, and unspoken intentions.

Asking myself some tough questions, knowing that the answers could change relationships and alter my career trajectory, was difficult. But whatever the cost, I had to tell myself the truth, even if the truth was uncomfortable and inconvenient. And so, I journaled, prayed, and relaxed my mind to hear the small sweet whispers of wisdom from my Creator.

In less than 3 days, I received some sobering answers. Most of the responses were not shocking because my spirit never felt settled and embraced at a few tables where I frequently dined and visited. So, bolstered by integrity and courage, I moved and took my “plate” full of my talents, gifts, and love to new tables where I felt seen and supported.

What I know for sure: I want to sit at tables where I feel invited, appreciated, and respected. I want to metaphorically sit at tables where love, acceptance, kindness, and soul-enriching affirmation are lovingly served. I want to dine in places where everyone’s humanity is honored and their decisions respected. I want to be surrounded by various views, cultures, identities, expressions, languages, faith traditions, and ages. I want to dine where curiosity is abundant, clarity is pursued, and courage is celebrated. I want to sit where my soul feels safe.

What about you? Where do you want to sit? What types of tables are worthy of you? What types of tables will stretch your wings and help you thrive? What types of tables feel like life-giving elixirs and not death-dealing abuses? What types of tables make you feel safe, seen, and supported?

This week, evaluate the tables you are sitting at and determine what’s being served. Determine if those tables nourish and sustain you. Ask yourself if those tables keep you mentally well, wise, and whole.

And if those tables don’t provide the spiritual and emotional nourishment you need, find the courage to leave so you can dine at new places that warm your heart, expand your mind, and revive your soul.

Journal Prompt: Where am I being fed the spiritual, emotional, and relational food that I need to sustain me in this season of my life?

Have a great week, and remember to only sit at tables that nourish your soul.

Blessings,

SharRon

 

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Reclaim Your True Identity

I love meeting people who grew up with lots of love, affirmation, and unconditional acceptance. I love to meet them because, unfortunately, people who received unconditional love and endless support as children are rare. Yes, rare.

Unfortunately, most of us grew up feeling that we were wrong, extremely weird, or felt as if we did not belong in our families, communities, and schools. And because we believed we were too different or not enough of whatever was needed to belong, we were denied the very support we craved and the affirmation we needed to trust ourselves and deeply cherish our uniqueness.

As we grew older, if we didn’t find a community that nurtured our individuality and neutralized the harmful narratives we learned, we made ourselves small to fit into norms that felt safe. Or, we hid parts of ourselves that were unwelcomed or vilified. Or, sometimes, we clung to outgrown identities, belittling labels, and toxic myths that left us emotionally distressed, defeated, or devalued.

Does any of this sound familiar?

If that sounds like your story or experience, you are not alone. Many people have experienced self-erosion and self-erasure. Many people have been marginalized or excluded because their needs, feelings, and perspectives existed outside of a narrowly-defined “norm.” Many people have abandoned their dreams, betrayed their souls, and concealed their true natures just to exist and survive in a judgmental, myopic world.

I hate to admit it, but I am extremely familiar with self-erosion because my true self started to wither away when I was five or six years old. My true self tried to fight for survival, but the peer pressure to conform was too strong; it crushed my will and strength to fight for my individuality. And because I was so young, I hadn’t developed the skills to speak up or stand up for myself. So slowly, the oppressive messages, constant exclusion, and inherited beliefs took residence in my mind and spirit, and I relented. I became what culture wanted me to be — an obedient, predictable, accommodating person with little confidence and anemic self-love. I sadly became a spoke in a societal wheel mired in self-sabotage, self-hatred, and self-suppression.

However, after college, I embarked on a full reclamation and self-liberation journey to find my TRUE identity because I knew I wasn’t whole. I knew I was compromising my soul because I felt miserable and lost. I didn’t have the vocabulary or emotional awareness to explain my feelings, but I knew I did not fit into the suffocating status quo. Heck, sometimes I felt as if I didn’t even belong in my own family. I was different, and my difference was obvious; it couldn’t be ignored. But slowly and thankfully, my true self spoke to me, compelled, comforted, and urged me to keep searching for the real me. My true self begged me to take the proverbial wheel of my life and drive home to my truth and home to myself.

Now, I look at my life, and I am grateful. My life is not perfect, easy, or problem-free. But I am at peace because I have reclaimed most of ME. I have released the need to struggle for success, hustle for acceptance, and abide by the status quo. I no longer choose this or that; I live in a world of “and”  because I don’t believe in binaries, bullies, or limiting beliefs. I also no longer ascribe to society’s definition of success because striving for society’s success always makes me feel unsuccessful. What a paradox, right?

I now courageously disobey rules, disconnect from toxicity, and detach from historical lies that do not sustain me or honor the dignity of all God’s people. I fearlessly experiment with new opportunities, explore new dimensions of my personality, and accept unique invitations to remind myself that I am free, expansive, and worthy of joy. I am no longer pander to the crowd or try to appease people, especially those who try to manipulate me with their meanness or oppress me with their opinions. I boldly dance to my own music and sing my own songs. And most of all, I keep my head, heart, and hands open, knowing that God will pour out blessings, bestowing me with goodness, grace, and soul-nourishing gifts.

As I continue my reclamation journey, I invite others to join me. I invite others to taste the sweet nectar of their wholeness and revel in their holiness. I encourage people to expand, express, and experience the totality of their being with curiosity, delight, and love. And oh, it feels so good to be doing the work I was created to do. I feel so anchored, rooted, and aligned in ways that are hard to define but heavenly to feel. I know I am profoundly blessed and guided, and I sense a higher dimension of destiny calling my name.

So, join me if you are interested in reclaiming your entire self and reveling in your full identity. Let’s learn how to restore what we lost so we can dance with power, live in truth, and leap with joy. Let’s remember our dreams, rediscover our needs, restore our true personalities, and reimagine our futures. Let’s set new standards, defy the isms, and establish harmony within ourselves and our communities.

My friend, a new day is coming, and you have the power to shape it. Every courageous choice you make will help you live boldly, love intensely, liberate yourself constantly, and dream endlessly. You, the full you, will create this new season of your life full of the variety, joy, and fulfillment you deeply crave.

And the best news is … after you deeply love and affirm who you are, you will never have to deal with self-erosion and self-erasure again. You will never have to assimilate or divest of your humanity and truth. You will boldly give yourself permission to rest, reimagine, restore, recreate, and SOAR, even if nobody else likes you or agrees with your decisions. You will radically trust your spirit to guide you so you can live fully  – undiluted, unfazed, and unencumbered – and enjoy a soul-enriching life.

Blessings as you bloom,

SharRon

You Can Depend On You

How would your life change if you KNEW you could depend on yourself to make value-inspired, destiny-driven decisions?

I know it’s hard to imagine, but just think about the power and the joy of finally following your own heart.

When you believe in yourself and trust your inner wisdom, you can “vote” for yourself by making decisions that honor your dreams, goals, and vision, even if nobody else supports you!

You can stop settling for the status quo, finally understand what’s holding you back, unapologetically own your desires, and get to work on your dreams.

What I know for sure…..Depending ON YOURSELF is liberating. It’s a deep inner-knowing and a sense of freedom that most people only wish for, but only the most courageous enjoy.

But no more!

With the support of a courageous community and by using tools that you already have inside of you, you can:

  • start a new year with a new awareness of who you are and who you are destined to be
  • renew your commitment to embrace your genuine desires and pursue your most audacious dreams
  • celebrate your gifts, cultivate your talents, and activate your superpowers to build a life that gives your meaning
  • break old patterns that sabotage you and fill you with feelings of unworthiness
  • structure your life so that it supports and aligns with who are becoming
  • own and follow your truth, despite the naysayers, and create a more fulfilling life

YOU can become a powerful advocate for yourself like never before and break down the inner barriers that keep you safe BUT NOT satisfied.

Yes, YOU CAN DEPEND ON YOU!

You Can Depend On You to reclaim your power and restore your true identity so you can thrive again.

You can honor your real values, acknowledge your unspoken needs, and pursue your unrealized goals without shame, guilt, or fear and finally live a life that makes your heart sing.

The Welcome Session is on 12/30 and I hope to see you there.

Click here to learn more.